My reason to smile
by Nasse
Summary: Alfred's cousin is coming to stay at his house, which he doesn't really want... but it looks like Arthur is more to his liking than he originally thought... maybe this will be fun after all? AU,Alfred/Arthur.
1. Two against one

Hello everyone, hope you're doing great! Some of you may know that I am not the biggest Hetalia fan out there, heck, I don't really know much of anything. (I HAVE seen it though, that's not what I meant ) What I DO know is that I will soon be cosplaying America, aka Alfred in casual clothing and I figured "well, what the heck? Why don't write a FF about it and cosplay him like he is in that one?" So now I will ;)

The story takes place in an alternative universe, which I hope you all will remember. There will be some heterosexual mating and then some of the homosexual kind which will not be until in later chapters. I hope now that all of you yaoi-fans out there don't go berserk on me just because I give the guy some bonding time with two lovely girls... it's all part of the character building so to speak.

I hope that you will all enjoy this story and be sure to tell me so! Otherwise I won't know what to do to make it better or to make it... naughtier ;)

Thanks!

**Warning!:** ATTENTION! This WILL eventually contain both sex and SEX so be warned! Gay mating WILL be provided for those who read and review!

**Disclaimer:** Unfortunately, I did not invent Hetalia. If I had, I would have done something about the fandome because Hetalia-fans (at least in Sweden) are SCARY!

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><p>It was one of those normal days. One of those days when you have no idea what so ever of what to do and who to hang out with. One of those days that just sucks from the moment you open your eyes in the morning to the moment you close them again at night. The weather was normal, the wind wasn't out of the ordinary, the clouds even seemed to be sleepy or bored and even though there were a couple of birds singing, he couldn't even get himself to smile.<p>

As Alfred, aka Al, ate his Peanut butter – jelly sandwich that normal morning, his stomach grumbled for sweets and even more fatty foods than this. The fact that he had been working out a lot more recently, to be able to kick as on the football field, had made him even hungrier than ever before… making his mother think that he was going to over eat and die. Al himself, he wasn't worried at all. In fact, he was quite happy with his eating habits. After all, he could eat almost anything without getting plump, since he had five practices a week.

"You'll be late..." His mother said as she passed the room, on her way to the living room where she spent most of her days off. He didn't even answer. There was no need on such a normal day as this. The worst thing that could happen if he didn't answer was that she got a bitt angry. The worst thing that could happen if he _did_ answer was that she'd get real mad. He didn't need that today.

The school buss was late, just like him, so it was okay. His friends where sitting in the back like always. Some of "his boys" from the football team greeting him with high fives and whistles. Just like every other day, Lauren came over to sit in his lap and eh didn't mind that either. Not that it brightened his day or anything... He just, well he was still bored.

"You done your homework man?" Someone asked, probably Dan. He shook his head without a word in return. They all already knew he didn't do his homework, so why did they always bother to ask?

"You gonna practice after school today?" Lauren asked as the bus turned a sharp corner and she laughed as she was pressed hard against his upper body. He chuckled and put an arm around her waist, just cause he could.

"Always" he answered and laughed as the guys around them whistled and made eye contact with him. "I never miss practice... not like those guys" He added and pointed, getting laughs and protests from all directions. He could feel her shift as she laughed, he breasts pressing against his side and for some reason, he couldn't care at all. He never really had. Yeah, he got hard when she pulled his pants down and sucked him off and all, but all the other guys where just waiting to get into the pants on a girl like her... he got bored from it.

Not that he had told anyone about that. He had realized when he was about fourteen that you shouldn't talk about stuff like that with your friends, because it gets out, and it stays out. He didn't even show his "old" self anymore, not even with his brother, who kept complaining about that. 'You used to be so happy all the time!' he always used to say, and even though Al felt a bit bad about that... He couldn't really get himself to smile like that. Why he didn't know.

The day was just as boring as he had thought it would be, if you don't count the riot in the food court when some students thought it would be fun to throw food all around. He had also been a bit interested at the subject during history class but been easily distracted as Lauren had started groping his dick under the table.

He hurried home after lessons ended, to be able to fetch some clothes that he had forgotten for practice. He blamed his mother of course, since she had taken them and washed them the night before without telling him. He slammed the door and hurried. When he had grabbed his things he headed for the door again but was stopped by the phone in the hallway. His mother must have gone out. He just couldn't leave it ringing like that, for some reason.

"Welcome to the Jones', you're talking to..."

"Al!" his brother interrupted with a happy sound and he couldn't stop the smile from bursting out his seems. His brother was the best. "I've missed you so much! You okay? School okay? Getting along fine with your girlfriend?"

"She's not my girlfriend" he smiled back and sat down on the chair next to the phone, forgetting about practice for the moment. "And yes, everything is just fine with me... You should tone your canadian accent down a little though, Matthew, otherwise dad will get pissed at you again."

"No way dude" His younger brother laughed and Al could almost hear him shake his head on the other side of the phone, in that country... so far far away from him. "I'm coming home soon, did you know? For my birthday. Make sure you're there, yes? And I'll make sure to by you those sweets you wanted me to bye and that thing you were..."

Alfred could do nothing but smile as his brother went on and on about everything and nothing. About the weather and the school, about some friends he had finally made and some weird food he had tried. The only time Al really felt comfortable with himself was when he got to talk with Matthew like this, just the two of them with no one else close by... He always felt like he could tell the younger one everything, even though he didn't. One day he might though... one day.

"Shit!" he suddenly burst out as he looked at the clock and he could hear Matt laugh with words like 'My fault you're missing the practice again?' and he could feel a small tear in the corner of his eye when he had to tell his brother 'sorry' and 'I miss you so damn much' in a hurry before rushing off.

It was an ordinary practice as well. Nothing special at all. Lauren was waving at him from the benches where the Cheerios where watching. They always had practice before the football teem and most of them stayed afterwards to watch their great moves. He didn't wave back. He knew she'd be pleased afterwards when they had sex in one of the bigger toilets, like always.

"Great work today Al!"

He waved to his teammate and nodded with a smile as he headed towards the lockers. He was sweaty but more cold all the way through since the weather outside had gotten more chilly than his clothes were made to stand. He could see Lauren moving between the bodies of her friends, her cheeks red from the cold and her voice high pitched and happy. She was a pretty girl and he should be lucky, really. But all she wanted was to have sex, and be popular... At least that was what it seemed like.

When he had taken a quick shower and gotten dressed he moved to wait for her at the bottom of the staircase, where they always met. He was still bored, even practice hadn't been able to change that. Boring day. Boring normal fucking day.

His phone gave away some buzzes in his pocket and he jumped in surprise at how damn close to his dick it was. He pulled it up and got a bit disgusted when he saw that it was his mother who had given him the vibrating sensation and tried to ignore his semi hard cock while reading: 'Your cousin is coming to visit us for your brother's birthday, make sure your room is clean so we can put a madras there'.

He sighed and deleted it. Fucking relatives.

"Babe?" She laughed as she came round the corner, holding the hand of one of her friends, both dressed in Cheerleading uniforms and wearing happy smiles and blushing cheeks. "Is it OK if Lisa joins today..?"

He gave the girl a look, a quick one. She was blond and green-eyed, unlike Lauren that was a brunette with dark brown eyes. They were both skinny but Lisa had smaller boobs. He wouldn't mind. So he smirked and opened the door to the toilet they always used to occupy. "As long as she doesn't mind doing it in here?"

"She doesn't" Lauren smiled and the girls entered before him, already undressing as he closed the door behind his back.

It was a bit strange, like some king of out of body experience, seeing the girls waiting for him like that. Any guy would gladly give everything to be in his shoes now and strangely enough, it was that thought that made his dick stir... not the sight of the two girls undressing, not the sound of their giggling or the feel of their fingers as they pulled at his clothes. Not the smell of bubble-gum or the feel of soft breasts against his upper body... but the thought of how damn jealous everyone on the team would get if he told. Which he probably never would. But still.

"Holy..." Lisa gasped and he could hear Lauren half giggle from where her lips where nibbling at the bend of his neck.

"I know, right?"

"You know..." he said and half twitched as Lisa poked at his abs, making him want to burst into laughter. He caught her slimmed fingers in his larger hand and pulled it to his mouth, catching her deep green eyes as he kissed her knuckles. "I'm right here, I can hear every word you're saying about my body..." She blushed and looked away, only to look back at him again when he let his tongue stroke her fingertip gently. There was a soft gasp leaving her lips and he could immediately hear and see the jealousy mixed with complete lust in Laruen's eyes.

"So..." she said when he met her eyes, licking her lips like she always did when she was this turned on. "How do we do this boss?"

He laughed and looked down at the blanked she'd brought for the occasion, thinking for a while. "Well..." he started and kept the smirk going. "Why don't you ladies make sure I like this enough to give you both some of it?"

There was a giggle from Lisa, who seemed to have done this before but not that many times? Lauren was already down on the floor, her eager fingers fiddling with his pants and lips eagerly licked by her pink tongue. Lisa was quick to follow and as he was down on his back, she was already sucking at his neck while the brunette was licking somewhere below his belt. Lauren's mouth was warm and her lips soft against the head of his cock, sending shivers of dull pleasure up his spine. He quite liked the way Lisa was biting at his skin though, her teeth rough against him as he pushed her slimmed body closer, moaning as that warm mouth closed it's self around his aching hardness.

_Yeah_, he thought as he closed his eyes. _I quite like this._

"Oh fuck..." Lauren gasped and he could feel her tremble as she gasped for air above him. He smirked even though he hardly knew what she was gasping about. Lisa was moaning too, loud enough for everyone in school to hear them and even before he had time to tell her to be more quiet, Lauren had shut her up with a deep kiss... Yeah. All the other guys would be so jealous.

"Fuck..." he cursed and groaned by the thought, not really knowing why but the girls seemed pleased and Lisa even bit down on his perked nipple. She had come already, now whimpering a bit as she shifted on top of him, making way for her friend who was dying with need, he could see it on the way her body was shaking. He knew every part of her; the silk skin, the softness of her breasts, the curve of her waist and the feel of her plushy lips. She was a gorgeous girl, so was Lisa... But it wasn't them that got him going and not the thought of her rosy body closing around him that made him come without warning. It was something else, like always.

... ... ...

"Can I join in some other time too?" Lisa asked as they were hurrying over the yard, school soon closing up for the evening. Lauren laughed and hooked their arms together, her eyes shining like they always did after a round of some kind of sex. Girls always seemed to be such happy creatures, especially when they had gotten something they wanted. They were so easy to please. He liked that about them.

They both waved to Lisa as she turned the corner, her gray – blue skirt swaying with every step she took. Lauren sighed a happy sigh as they where alone, turning to him and giving him a soft kiss on the cheek before hooking their arms together instead.

"Soo..." she said and bit her lip while leaning against him. "Did you like her?"

He laughed a little and scratched his neck, kind of blushing slightly. If there was anyone who knew him outside of school, at least a little, it was her. "Yeah, she was cool" he then answered and nodded. "She new on the Cheerios?" Lauren nodded and he could see a fondness in her eyes that he wasn't used to seeing there, but he knew what it was. He chose not to comment on it though and made sure to follow her home. It was late. She didn't talk much but she was happy, that he could tell as well. When they finally reached the house he kissed her goodbye and returned her sunny smile. He kind of wished he could appreciate her more. She was too lovely for him.

"So you had a fucking threesome?" Matt laughed and then sighed with fake annoyance. "Brother, did you use protection?"

Al laughed back and closed the door to his bedroom with a soft sound before throwing himself down on the bed with an 'Uff'. "Nope, Lauren doesn't approve of it she says, on birth controlls though, both of them so I'l probably be fine"

"Like pregnant is the only thing you can get from having sex without a condom?" Matt said with another sigh, he was still smiling though, which was obvious by the way he spoke. Al could do nothing but love him so much right now. He had been feeling so shitty all day. Talking to Matt twice was the best remedy for it.

"And you know what..." he then said and kicked at the madras on the floor that their mother had put there after he had picked everything up from the floor. "...because of your fucking birthday, that damn kid for a cousin of ours is coming to stay here for an entire term... Take responsibility?"

"Not my fault!" Matt protested. "Mother told me before that he was gonna move to our town anyway, to study. He's just gonna live with us until he finds a place of his own anyway. Live with it!"

"Never..."

They spoke until Matt fell asleep on the other side. Al stayed on the phone for a couple of minutes more, just listening to his brother as his breaths went from heavy to slight snores. He missed him so much. It was unbearable. Every weak without him there was even worse than the one before.

He finally managed to brush his teeth and crawl into his large bed a couple of hours later, unable to sleep for another two hours after that. There were thoughts pounding against the inside of his forehead like a woodpecker against a tree and he just couldn't get them to cool down and let him relax. There were so many things he needed to get out of his damn system and no one he could trouble with them. No one.

... ... ...

"Alfred! Get up!"

He cursed and pulled his blanket over the top of his head, mumbling "Just five more minutes..." into his pillow even though his words did not reach further than through it. His mother was banging hard at his door, making his head hurt like if his brain was getting beaten up by her bare hands. "Just leave me alone..." he mumbled but sat up slowly and scratched his head, wondering slightly why he was naked. When she had gone away he walked out into the hallway, stepped into the shower and stood there for more then thirty minutes underneath the warm water until she was banging at that door too.

It was Sunday morning, he was sure of it. Why was she so damn annoying and banging away even though he wasn't in a hurry to go to school? Yes, he had been lying in bed almost all day yesterday, but at least he hadn't made his room into a mess like he would have if he had been up and about?

She didn't stop banging at the door either so when he had turned of the water and stepped out of the shower, he opened the door in nothing but his wet skin and stared at her with irritation. "What?"

She coughed and shook her head, looking away with angry blush on her cheeks. "Get dressed" she then said after composing herself and turning away from him completely. "We have guests in the house, make sure you behave..."

With that, she left him, dripping with water in the hallway. He could hear voices from downstairs and feel his stomach turn. How could he have forgotten? Not that he had known about this for very long, but still? She had told him since Friday what time he had to get up today to be able to get ready in time for his cousin to arrive...

"Great..." he mumbled and hurried to get dressed, pulling his Superman T-shirt on and his washed out jeans before falling over when trying to put his socks on. "Fuck... Damn! Fucking ass...!"

"Alfred?" Came his mothers annoyed voice from downstairs and he was about to fall over again as he tried to find his lenses.

"Coming!" he called back, just as annoyed and pulled a hand through his wet strands of dirt-blond hair before giving up and putting his glasses on instead. He didn't have time for this shit. Hadn't he promised Andy he'd see him today? He shook the thought away. If Any wanted to see him he'd have to text him or something. With a nod towards himself in the mirror he left the room, still trying to make his hair lie in a god shape as he entered the kitchen.

"There you are!" She smiled, as if she had never ever been mad at him in his life. Her fake optimism but kind of real smile was a bit fun for him to watch, since she almost never gave him smiles like that. She must really bee taking this about a new boy coming to live in her house seriously, trying to seem as if she was the most lovable person and mother on the planet, no doubt.

The cause of her happiness was of course the boy sitting by the kitchen table and Al sighed slightly before pulling himself together. He hadn't really met many of his relatives and he really didn't like the idea of having a younger brother he didn't know anything about.

"Darling..." his mother said and at first he didn't even understand she was referring to him. "Meet Arthur..." she hesitated, waiting for the other boy to stand up and turn towards them both as she spoke. "..from England. He is one year older than you, Alfred. Got two brothers and a..."

Her words didn't even make sense to him anymore. They were just a blurry ocean that he was failing to comprehend. He didn't even get annoyed that she used his full name, strangely enough. He could just hear the buzzing noise as he watched the young man by her side in awe, his jaw almost dropping and he felt light headed.

The man, Arthur... he was older than him? Really? His green eyes were amazing, like fucking oceans right there in front of him. His hair was the same kind of hair as both AL and his brother's but it was brighter in colour and somehow... he looked like he didn't fit here. He was wearing a large sweater, the sleeves too long for him and holes covering the back of it (which Al had seen when stepping into the room), tight, black pants with a chain hanging from his belt and for some reason... there were handcuffs hanging there as well.

He was gorgeous. That was for sure. Even for a guy that is... But why his mother had allowed a teenager like that into her house he couldn't understand. He looked so different. So damn different...

_Like a fresh breeze... _he thought, unable to stop his own smile as it spread through his face. "Hi. Nice to meet you cousin." he then said as soon as he he collected all his parts together, his tongue and his mind that was. Arthur seemed to be relieved that he had spoken up and made the woman shut up, because he smiled back and reached his hand out to meet Al's in a handshake.

"Nice to meet you too, Al" he said, his warm, dry palm pressing Al's hand back firmly as their eyes met. There was something in his eyes that felt so familiar and warm that Al just couldn't stop smiling as they shook hands. Smiling like he imagined he had done before. Back when Matthew was still living in America and he had a reason to be smiling like this... a reason.

_By the way, did he use the short for my name all on his own..? Oh I like this one. _

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><p>So, what did you think?<p>

Know he is a bitt different from what he is like in the anime, yes yes I am aware. There is an explanation for that though and I hope that you'll bare with me until you find out about that, yes?

Please review and comment! I will answer anything, even if you think my story sucks already ;)

You looking forward to next chapter? I know I sure am ;)

See'ya!


	2. A nice cup of tea

Hi again! Hope you guys are great!I'm glad that I got so many faves when I posted the first chapter, even though i posted it at a bad time, hehe. I love reviews by the way so don't be shy if you want to add something after reading ;) doooo want to know what you guys think of my story :D

(Gonna remind you that the story place in an alternative universe and that there will be some heterosexual mating and then some of the homosexual kind which i hope you'll respect.)

I'm actually writing this because I am going to cosplay Alfred this summer, and since I do not want to do it the same way everyone else does it, I will cosplay him the way he is in this stoy ;) I'll tell you when there are some pics up on my DeviantArt

Hope you like it!

**Warning!:** ATTENTION! This WILL eventually contain both sex and SEX so be warned! Gay mating WILL be provided for those who read and review!

**Disclaimer:** Unfortunately, I did not invent Hetalia. If I had, I would have done something about the fandome because Hetalia-fans (at least in Sweden) are SCARY! Not everyone... but many of them. AND I would have made it even more gay-ish! Even though they call each other fag all the time... that's not enough gay for me :(

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><p>"Mom, we'll be fine, kay?" he sighed and put the clean dishes into the cupboard, something he almost never did but she had told him to do it so that their guest would see he wasn't useless. (Which clearly indicated that she thought he WAS useless when saying that). He didn't really believe that was the whole truth though. If he knew her well enough, he'd say she wanted him to do that in front of Arthur so that the new family member knew HE should do stuff like that as well. He was sure his mother had gotten quite a shock when she'd seen him...<p>

Arthur had grown up in England with his family, who were related to Al on their fathers side, brothers, if he remembered correctly. His father didn't speak much about his family. He never had, which made it hard for Al to know of course. It had been decided in the spur of the moment that Arthur would be staying at their place. His mother had always been so kind to the poor woman married to her husbands annoying brother. She must have thought that the English little boy would be an angel sent from the skies above to save her messed up family. Instead, she had gotten a boy with boots, stretching in his ear, messed up hairdo and clothes she would never have let Al or Matt ware, ever.

Now she was standing in the doorway with her handbag tightly clutched between her arm and her body, faking a smile every time she looked over at the staircase where the newcomer had run to change from his so called "traveling clothes". She was going to one of her book-club meetings and for some reason she thought the two of them could not be left alone in the house just because he was a bit different from what she had pictured him to be?

"You know..." he added when he saw her giving the staircase one more strangled look of worry. "...he doesn't know anyone around here, right? He couldn't master a crowd or get anyone here quickly enough to burn down the house before you get back anyway..."

"What are you talking about?" she laughed nervously when looking back at him, her smile as fake as ever. "I'm not worried about anything like that... It's just... He's been away from his mother for a long time already, maybe he..."

"Mom, he's older than me? AND more rebellious apparently... bet he doesn't care one bit about being away from home, yeah?" he realized as soon as he'd said it that he probably shouldn't have, but he didn't stop even though she looked horrified. "I'll make sure he gets to bed in time, that he isn't hungry when he does and that he brushes his teeth. Just go so that you won't be late, okay?"

She didn't want to. Probably because of her own damn parental headache but he knew there was a part of her that just wanted to get out of this house for a while. He didn't blame her. He could hear the toilet getting flushed, knowing that if Arthur came down with an even more challenging wardrobe sample, she would have a heart attack. So he stopped with what he was doing and watched the time, giving her a meaningful nod against the clock on the wall above her head.

"Oh well..." she sighed and smiled tiredly. "I'd better be going then. There is food in the fridge and I have my cellphone on and..."

"Just go mom, I know!"

As soon as the door closed behind her back he could hear steps in the staircase and a pair of differently colored socks appeared. He pretended not to have been looking when the english boy re-appeared in the white kitchen. Instead of looking at him, to see what he was wearing now, he kept putting things where they were supposed to be.

"Your mom really doesn't seem to like me, huh?"

Al almost dropped a bowl at the sudden question, looking back at his cousin with a soft smile, prepared to speak but loosing the words for a second, just looking at him. He had seated himself on the edge of the table, which was stable enough to take his weight but his mother would still have freaked. He was wearing the same tight pants but the sweater from before had been exchanged to a T-shirt with 'The six pistols – God save the queen' printed on it. His green eyes were bright but slightly worried and Al was awe struck once more, not even knowing really why.

"I don't know about that?" he then said, as soon as his voice returned to him of course. "I bet she was just a bit surprised when she saw you... and she is usually all stiff anyway" He smiled but added. "Not that you look bad or anything..!"

The other one chuckled slightly and the sound was like a fucking summer breeze. Alfred could feel goosebumps down the small of his back and had to grip the bowl tightly not to drop it again. "If you say so" Arthur then said and shrugged.

"You hungry?" Al then asked when he could hear Arthur's stomach grumble all the way from where he was sitting and he smirked inwardly as he saw blush rising on the older one's cheeks. "We've got... hmmm..." he opened the door to the refrigerator, trying to see something eatable through the forest of vegetables his mother had bought. "Some bread I think, peanut butter, jelly, ham, cheese, hmm... some milk..."

"Have tea?"

Arthur was suddenly behind him, looking over his shoulder into the fridge. Al jumped in his clothes by the sudden closeness but then nodded slowly. "I... think so" he answered and walked over to one of the numerous cabinets. "My younger brother always drinks it, I can't understand why but he does... and I think he left a whole bag of it when he moved..."

"He's the one who lives in Canada? Matthew?" Arthur asked back from somewhere behind him and Al had to laugh a little.

"You seem to know more about my family than we know about yours..."

"Well, my mother always talks a lot about your mother" his cousin smiled back. "They like to be on the phone for hours... it's a pain in the ass. Guess my mother didn't tell yours about... well, my way of life since she thought I wouldn't get to stay here if she did"

Alfred nodded, understanding that he must be talking about the way he dressed and looked. His mother would definitely not have let him stay there if she'd known. She would have said something about having enough as it is with two teenage boys and a terrible husband or just the truth, that there weren't really enough room. Not that that would stop her for inviting people she wanted over... just that if she would have asked Al, he would have told her that there was no way his cousin could sleep in his room. This one seemed nice enough though... AND it would piss her off from now on, so he was cool with this.

When the water had come to a boil and the tea was cooking, Al took the spare time to show their guest around the house. That needed to be done after all. Arthur was politely interested, even though Al could see his eyes blinking tiredly sometimes. He wasn't a bad guy just cause he liked dressing differently from what they were used to after all... His mother was just stupid.

"Do you want to play?" he asked as he saw Arthur's fingers twitch at the discovery of the old guitar they kept next to the sofa in the living room. His cousin lightened up immediately and seated himself while Alfred went to fetch the tea. Even when he was in the kitchen the fragile notes reached his ears as if he was sitting right there, playing a song he had heard once before... even though he couldn't really place it.

He stood for a moment and just listened. While doing so even the tea smelled good and in the spur of the moment he poured himself a cup as well. He would regret that, he was sure, because tea tasted like peeeee and he knew THAT for sure.

"Oh God..." his cousin half moaned as he drank the scolding hot liquid with his eyes closed, as if it was the most glorious and wonderful thing in the world. Al just couldn't hep laughing before looking down at his own cup with brown, see-through drink.

"How can you like this...?" he asked before tasting a little of it, burning his tongue and coughing immediately. "It's so fucking bitter..!"

Arthur laughed and looked at him over the edge of the pink cup he had been given. "You really hate it that much?" As Al nodded, of course, his cousin shook his head and got up from the sofa, walked into the kitchen and came back some minutes later (after making a lot of noise in there) with a bowl of sugar and a bottle of milk. "I'll make you like it, yeah?"

"I dare you" Al chuckled. The sight of him, the mischievous smile on his face, the glimpse of it in his eyes was priceless. He really wasn't like anyone around here, their eyes dead next to these green ones... The only eyes that could kind of compare were those green ones of the girl he had just had sex with, and that had been only because of the fact that sh head been so filled with lust... This guy, his eyes were sparkling, even though he was not about to have sex... And now THAT thought had gotten into his head. And fuck, he was blushing.

Arthur had not noticed though. He was already pouring milk into the blue cup belonging to Al and when he received a raised eyebrow, he just laughed. "Don't give me that look Al" he then said and poured two spoons of sugar into it as well. "it's just like it is with coffee..." he stated and turned the spoon a couple of times in the cup before handing it to him. "...when you're learning to drink coffee, you have a lot of milk and sugar... Try it, it's much more fat in it now, like you want it, right?"

"Yeah... right" Al grinned back, then looking down suspiciously at the tea, which was not see-through anymore and had taken the colour of... well... It looked like brownish milk. He couldn't really hide the disgust in his face it seemed, because Arthur laughed again. Didn't say anything more this time though, just seated himself again and took his cup to his lips with the same face of bliss as before. Al looked at him with a crooked smile before looking back down at his own tea again. "Here goes nothing..."

Before the liquid hit his lips, there was warmth flowing into his face, almost like the breath of someone standing really really close to him. He almost smiled, no matter how much his guts turned, knowing that this would be like drinking warm pee. It didn't though. Which made him open his eyes in surprise.

It wasn't really good either. But it really didn't taste like shit. The milk had totally wiped the bitterness away and instead made room for the real taste of it all... and the sugar just made it... even better. After just two or three mouthfuls he was almost sold on it. It was fucking delicious when you'd gotten used to it.

"Told you so" his cousin chuckled and Al could do nothing but admit that he had been had. He kept drinking his tea, wondering slightly why the hell his brother hadn't told him about this? It was cosy in some weird way, just sitting there, drinking in silence. The TV wasn't even on, that must be the first.

The rest of the evening was spent in calm as well. Even though Arthur might look like he was totally badass, Al had started suspecting that it was more a way to dress than a way to be and behave. He was fun though, his english was fucking hilarious at times and his stories about his home even more so. There seemed to be so much to see over there, and how could it really be so different from in the US? Arthur didn't seem to have noticed all the difference yet though, since he hadn't been out much since he got here. Al felt a bit sorry for him. He'd surly miss home soon... poor guy.

"You sure you'll be comfortable here then?" he asked as he and Arthur had put the madras out on the floor in his room, the wrinkled sheets looking highly uncomfortable for Al's own taste. "Bet you have like the best bed at home, huh?"

"I'll be fine" the other one laughed and threw his pillow in his face. "And no, I don't. My bed is the most run down in the house and I almost never get to sleep alone in it cause my brother always jumps me"

"Cosy..." He had already forgotten what the conversation was all about. He was tired, he had noticed it during the evening when they had warmed some pizza for dinner and he had almost fallen asleep in the sofa. Now, as he lay down on his large bed, he could feel his eyes slowly closing and the warmth of sleep already pulling him in. He was only partly conscious of the fact that Arthur was still looking at him.

"If I get lonely I could just join you up there" he half whispered and it took a long time for Al to even comprehend what he had said. When he did he just smiled and nodded with a mumbling sound. "Sleep well cousin..."

... ... ...

"Hey... Al? You sleeping..?"

"No..." he yawned, then realized that he had been. He didn't have the energy to correct himself though. What time was it anyway? It was still black outside and the wind made the tree-branches hit his window like nail drawn across it. "What is it...?"

Arthur was sitting on his madras, his knees drawn up to his chest and his blanked covering them. He looked terribly small and the expression on his face could not possibly be anything else than loneliness. He was smiling a little now though and rested his head against his knees while looking back up at his cousin, who had now started rubbing his eyes tiredly to try to wake up.

"Dono..." he answered and sighed slightly. "Guess I'm a bit homesick already... oh fuck, my mother's gonna freak out"

"Dude..." Al smiled, glancing at his clock and almost getting a heart attack when seeing it was only half passed two. "Don't worry, kay? You'll be as good as new tomorrow... right?"

"You think?" He was looking slightly more optimistic now, but not enough for Al's taste and even if he was trying to smile wider, it was obvious he couldn't.

"Come up here then..?" he said before thinking it through, but when those green eyes brightened immediately after the proposition, he couldn't really take it back, could he? "Don't even ask if I'm serious, just come here."

Arthur asked a little, his voice shaking slightly but Al tried not to think about how terrible this must be feeling. Those clothes, the cover... He must be so vulnerable on the inside... so lonely. He wasn't wearing those clothes now, the armor of confidence he was always getting dressed in. His blue PJ's were too big for him, making him look even smaller than he really was. His blond hair was all messed up and his fingers cold. Al flipped the covers away and made sure to leave some room for that cold frame and the trembling voice next to him, closing it again around them both.

"Just... wake me up if I start kicking in my sleep, kay?" he then said and smiled slightly. He wasn't used to sleeping with other people. He and Lauren weren't exclusive and even if they had been, he wouldn't have stayed over at her place and she never came over to his house. He didn't really like it. The slight nod from his cousin however made him calmer and he smiled a bit. This might be what Arthur needed, so he'd give it to him... That was the least he could do for him.

"Thank you Al..."

The sleepiness was just adorable and he couldn't stop himself from looking down at the green-eyed one again, but Arthur had already drifted of into sound sleep. His eyes where twitching a little underneath his eyelids even, a soft smile playing on his relaxed face.

"Good night Arthur"

... ... ...

The morning hit him like a punch in the face once again and he groaned loudly when he realized he really had to go up. It was monday after all and school was not going to wait for him. He turned around slowly, face to the wall, trying to get the light out of his head.

_Wait... where did..._

He sat up quickly, so fast his head didn't quite follow and he had to take a deep breath and close his eyes not to faint. There was no sign of Arthur, which made him breath out at first. He had been worried that he had kicked the poor man out of the bed and knocked him unconscious. Which apparently he hadn't since he wasn't down on the floor, nor was he anywhere to be seen. Since Al was still out of it, he didn't really understand any of this... Was it all just a dream? That had been the first question to pop up into his head but since there was a madras on the floor, it couldn't be.

He got up and got dressed, instead of trying to figure it out. Maybe Arthur had just woken up when his mother called from downstairs and gone down for breakfast or something. Didn't have to be more complicated than that.

The blue-white football-sweater was comfortable enough for him to want to sleep in it and when he sat down to put his socks on, he wanted to just lie down again and sleep for hours. He didn't though. Instead he tried to make himself stand up, which was more than he really had the energy to do. He almost fell as he opened the door to his room, laughing tiredly at himself.

He was distracted though by the smell of food coming from downstairs, sniffing curiously because frankly... they never really ate breakfast in this house. That was probably why he was always so hungry at school. Mat always used to pester him about it, wanting him to eat more in the mornings and less hamburgers. That wasn't gonna happen.

"Mom?" he asked as he entered the kitchen, but she wasn't in there. He smiled a little as he saw his blond cousin standing by the stove, too preoccupied with turning fried eggs in the pan to notice him come in. "Cooking breakfast for me, are you?"

Arthur jumped a bit at the sudden question but then laughed as he looked back to see Al in the doorway. "Oh yes..." he answered and nodded towards a plate with sausage and beans. "I couldn't really sleep this morning either, so I got up and made my way to the nearest store... though I don't know if it really was the closest, I saw it on the way here … anyway, I bought us some real, English breakfast!"

Al felt his stomach grumble like a volcano os he saw the sausages frying in the pan. He had read about people from England eating weird things for breakfast but he didn't mind at the moment, even though he saw the beans on the plate. He hadn't been this hungry on a morning ever, the fried eggs smelled delicious too and he couldn't wait to dig into it.

"And don't worry about me poisoning you" Arthur added as he put a full plate down on the table where he had already put a cup of coffee for Al's mother and two cups of tea for the both of them. "And it's plenty of fat for your taste to, I can imagine"

"Thank you darling" he chuckled and dug the sausage first, groaning with pleasure at the taste. "Where did you even find this? I've never eaten this kind before?"

"I'll keep that a mystery" his cousin chuckled back and seated himself opposite him by the table. Al threw a glance at him, biting his lip involuntary when he saw cuts on the other one's hands, some old, some new... He wondered slightly where they came from, they looked a lot like paper cuts or those kinds of wounds you get when you accidentally cut your fingers on the knife.

"You need a bandaid for that..?" he asked and nodded towards the index finger on Arthur's left hand, which was cut pretty deeply, still bleeding.

"If it's not to much trouble?"

"Don't be silly" Al smiled and got up, fetching a small bandaid form a red box inside one of the cabinets. "Remember where they are in case you cut yourself again, clumsy asshole"

"Fuck off" came the answer and Al couldn't hold back a laugh. Arthur was chewing away, hungry like a monster of some sort. He couldn't blame him though, he must be missing it all, the food, the weather (not that he knew how the weather was in England), the people... He hoped that life here wouldn't be hard for him. He didn't seem like the kind of guy who deserved to get a hard time after all...

"So..." he said after gently putting the bandaid onto Arthur's slightly trembling finger. He didn't ask about it, the guy was probably just in pain. "Ready for your first day at school?"

"Hell no..." his cousin smiled. "Not until I've eaten twice my body weight"

"That won't take so long, will it?"

* * *

><p>Now, what did you think about their little bonding time? ;)<p>

I know this story is progressing slowly, but that is the way I do things, so bare with me ;DJust wait, there will be cliffies and sex coming up...

If you have sugestions or maybe just feel like fangirling or hate on me, please review, I'll answer everything!

oh! I've almost finsihed chapter three already! It will be up shortly, so hurry up and tell me what you think about it ;)


	3. Hero

Hi again you guys! It's been so looong! (not really ;D ) I hope you're still as great as you were the day before yesterday and that you'll like this new chapter!

I actually finished most of this right after finishing the second one, but I thought it would be kind of good with a little suspense until this one so I waited with it. I haven't finished the fourth one whoever but hope to be done in a flash with that one as well ;)

So here is Arthur's first day at school! How do you think that will go? ;) and what will happen between the young boys? Read to find out ppl! Remember that I answer every review so if you have any questions, just let me know!

**Warning!:** ATTENTION! ATTENTION! THERE WILL BE GAY SEX AND FLUIDS SOOON ENOUGH so if you don't like that, sorry, but you can go somewhere else and take a piss :)

**Disclaimer:** I didn't create Hetalia, sadly enough. I would probably have made Alfred a little less of a woos if I had :( He is a damn pussy! -using naughty words just to rebel against morals!-

* * *

><p>At first, Arthur had not at all been locking forward to the trip to his relatives, knowing that this would probably be just another family to convince that he was sane. He just wanted to get an apartment as quickly as possible and then move out, his mother's little arrangement for him had been nothing but a bother the last months. Damn that woman, always meddling into his business without knowing she could burn her nose as easily as a butterflies drowns in a flowing river.<p>

The flight had been annoyingly tiresome and the flight attendant had been hitting on him the entire way, making it impossible for him to even try to sleep. Women. They had a thing for him and he didn't even enjoy their company.

His 'new mother' had been very nice to him though, even though he could see clearly that he was not at all what she had expected. He couldn't blame her. She had probably thought him to be a stereotypical English boy, in school uniform, tidy hair, cute accent and sipping tea out of white little porcelain cups. Since that had not been the case, more like... the opposite, she had been trying to smile very politely and taken his hand, looking like she almost thought he'd jump her and kill her right there.

The house was pretty large though, bigger than the one he and his family had back in London. Two floors and a basement where there was a hangout place for teenagers it seemed, a bit living room connected to the kitchen, pretty large outdoor aria too, which was cool.

The father he hadn't seen much of, he wasn't looking forward to it after what he had overheard the older woman talk about in the phone with a friend. He didn't seem like such a nice guy, more like a punk?

He had realized, during those very first hours that she seemed to forget that he was even there, or at least thought he couldn't understand what she was saying. Like, she thought he didn't understand English. Ha had been sitting by the table with a glass of water and looked out the window as she spoke on the phone, right next to him and in that moment, he had not at all been there for her. His own mother used to do that as well. There was nothing in the world that made you feel smaller than when one of your parents ignored you like that... he wondered, there at the table, if she did that towards her own sons too.

Speaking of her sons. When the older one, Alfred, had gotten home from school that day, Arthur thought he might die from chock. He had been expecting some sort of jock, self-obsessed and pathetic really. He had seen some football things in the hallway and some shoes that looked all muddy from training or perhaps running... but what came in though the door was not what he had thought.

Yes, he was obviously on the football team, judging by the thick blue-gray-white sweater thrown over his bag and his eyes where piercing like fucking fire, but he didn't look anything like the bitch Arthur had imagined.

_Mother forgive me... _he had thought and swallowed at the thoughts bubbling up in his mind, his vision going slightly blurry as he had stood up to great his cousin. _I know I promised you... that this wouldn't happen but look at him! He's... fucking amazing._

The evening had been fun, just getting to know the guy and getting further disproved by the other's personality. There was something totally innocent about him even though he tried to be so much older than what he was. Cause what was he? 17? Tops. At least he wasn't older than Arthur, that was for sure...

"Fuck..." he cursed when cutting through the skin on his index finger. When he got too lost in thoughts he drifted and did stupid things in the real world, like cutting where he shouldn't be cutting. It was early in the morning and since he had not been able to sleep for very long, he had gotten up to make them all breakfast.

He could blame his lack of need for sleep on jet lag, anyone would understand, and he would. But that wasn't at all the case. Jet lag had never really bothered him that much, not as much as with his mother for instance. What had left him sleepless was the fact that he had realized his cousin was a cuddler. That's right. The definition of the word: Someone or something cuddly, who cuddles. That's what he was, at least in his sleep.

After falling asleep in Alfred's bed he had woken up again a few hours later, feeling himself getting squeezed tightly against the other's strong chest, skin against his cheek and arms holding around the small of Arthur's back. The chock had been total and when he had failed to get away the first five attempts, he had been lying there totally still, not to wake the younger one up.

Just a couple of minutes later though, Alfred had let him go and turned towards the wall instead. But the damage had already been done, leaving Arthur hard as a fucking brick wall.

"Fuck fuck fuck..." he cursed again as he dropped the knife at the memory, the blade almost hitting his bare toes. "That was close..." he half whimpered in slight fright before picking it up again, feeling warmth spreading through his stomach from the memory from an hour ago. It was dangerous how those warm hands had felt so good against his back, the strands of the younger one's hair tickling his forehead as well...

_I'll just have to... get through this. I can't... I can't let myself do this again. It's not worth it. Damn body..._

He had trembled later, when Alfred touched his fingers as he put that stupid bandaid on... trembled as if his blood sugar had dropped from high to nothing in a second... damn. Not again.

... ... ...

"So..." Al chuckled when they stepped out of the car by the gates to the school grounds. His mother had insisted on driving them, which she hadn't done since he'd been in middle school. He suspected it was because of the fact that she didn't want the other mother's to see Arthur from the windows when the buss drove by their houses. Of course she had told them about the boy, but not that he was... different, which was a word she had whispered to him at least three times this morning. "This is it, English boy"

"Cool" was the answer he got from his cousin, who seemed busy trying to take everything in really. By the time he looked up at the school he chuckled a little and nodded. "looks better than my last school...Which I got kicked out of for speaking out of turns" the last part he leaned closer to Al and whispered, making sure that his mother in the car didn't hear him.

Al just laughed. It didn't really surprise him. "British people really do have sticks up their asses, huh?" he then asked and handed Arthur his back, which he had carried for him from the door to the car.

"You have no idea" the other one laughed back and corrected the black shirt he was wearing, looking kind of cool in those boots, even though they looked to be too warm. Al didn't really mind the way he dressed.. not in the way everyone else seemed to mind at least. He thought it was cool that Arthur had the courage to be different from everyone else... here, the only people that were different got bullied. Maybe it was time that they changed that? After all, Al himself was one of the most popular guys at school. Not to brag, but he was kind of the Hero.

"You ready for your first day at school punk?" he asked as they were crossing the yard, feeling everyone's eyes follow them as the went. Arthur nodded as answer but he looked a but uncertain. They wouldn't be in the same class and Al suspected his cousin already knew what most 'different' kids went through here. It was visible in their eyes, all of them looking like they were seeing a cockroach, wanting to kill it as soon as possible. "You'll be fine..." Al just smiled and gave the other a warm pat on the shoulder before moving into the principals office where he was supposed to leave him. "You're My friend after all, right? My cousin even..."

"Haha, really funny, cause now I am hungry again..." Arthur smiled, his green eyes twinkling as he did so. "AND my worst nightmare has come true; I will be saved by a jock in an American high school. I'm terribly happy."

"Go shit yourself England" he joked back while backing out of the door they had just passed through, ignoring Arthur's 'I think you've got my name wrong Mr. America' and waving at the principal as he entered the room. "Here he is, my cousin, take good care of him, yes?" As he man laughed slightly, Al made eye contact with his half terrified cousin again and smiled. "Don't die on your first day, yes?"

"I'll make sure to do my best boss"

Al chuckled and hurried off to his lesson, feeling himself smiling the entire way, and that wasn't really something he usually did at school. Smile. He hadn't really been understanding why but somehow he felt a bit better now that Arthur was hear. Maybe he had just been worried that he'd be a total punk that would ruin his life and now that he had realized that was not the case, he relaxed? It seemed like a reasonable explanation and he left it at that.

"Good morning baby" Lauren smiled as she met up with him at the entrance, where she almost always stood, waiting for him if they didn't happen to be taking the buss together. She was wearing her Cheerios uniform like always, her dark hair up in a cute phony tail and her hands hugging the books for first period. "Did you have a nice weekend? Your cousin as much of a punk as you thought?"

He laughed inwardly at her curiosity. She was always like this, and she didn't even try to hide it. At least not from him. "It was nice, calm... And no, he was actually pretty cool." he then answered and put his arm around her slimmed waist, pulling her close. For some reason he felt the need to be close, so he ignored her chocked expression as he did so. Everyone was looking at them (which she should like, but they usually didn't show much of their... relationship to anyone else. Even though everyone knew of course, she had made sure of that.) "Mom wasn't home so we just sat by the TV, ate some food and had fun... kind of"

"Oh..." she answered, blushing still but getting used to it a bit too quickly for his taste. As long as she didn't think this would make it all official. He couldn't stand all the shit if she did. Relationships weren't his thing at all. "Well, I want to meet him later, you'll have to introduce us, promise?"

"Yes, yes I promise" he answered absentmindedly and opened his locker to get his things. He was half aware of the fact that they would get a little late, but since his history teacher totally adored him, just like all the other girls, he didn't really feel any pressure to be in time. She wouldn't tell on him anyway. Besides, his mind as deep in thought about how he could change things around here... the thought of Arthur getting beat down behind the gym because of how he dressed or maybe that he was from Brittan made him nauseous and he didn't want to risk that. No. He had to do at least something in this matter.

Before, he hadn't really cared what happened to those poor bastards. They just passed him like shadows, heads down with quick steps, trying to get away from the predators that lurked around corners and inside rooms. He couldn't imagine what they went through all day, and maybe that was why he hadn't done anything about it... He didn't want to know. He didn't need to know. The bullies where his friends. He didn't need to know what misery they caused others...

... ... ...

"You're from Britain?" the girl asked, smiling sweetly at him from where she was sitting. He suspected the only reason she was talking to him was because she had to sit next to him, or maybe that the class had ordered her to ask so they didn't have to. He could feel all eyes on him, everyone wanting to know, everyone listening for his answer.

"Yes" he smiled back and tilted his head a little to the side, trying to look kind even though he got that most of them had already taken him for a rebel that they had to crush, of course. "My family lives in London."

"Cool..." she nodded, thinking for a while, her blond, long hair tied up in a phony tail which she was twirling around her finger. "So... is that like... the capital of Britain or something?"

He suddenly felt sorry for her, everyone else sighing with irritation at her half stupid question. She was one of those 'blonds', even though her hair was colored to look like that. He always felt sorry for people like her without being able to help it. They were already moving into adulthood, some rooting for collage at the beginning of next school year, some wanting to make something out of their lives and still they knew so little about the world. Sex and alcohol seemed to be one of the few things they really knew, nothing more.

He smiled and opened his mouth to answer her question, kind as he was, but the teacher cleared his throat and everyone turned their faces towards him, even the blond girl. Telling her all about his home could wait, he thought. She might not even know that she was a bit behind, but she didn't seem like a bitch at least. He might come to need someone like her if he wanted to survive at the school.

The class was pretty interesting and he had a lot to think about, the time moving quickly as the teacher praised him for his knowledge about psychology, which he noticed the other guys in class didn't really approve of.

"Can I talk to you for a sec?" his teacher called as soon as class was over and Arthur was picking his things together. It was nice that he didn't seem as formal as Arthur's last teachers had done and he smiled as he walked up to the desk.

"Yes sir?"

"You really surprised me today" the older man begun and started wiping the board clean as he spoke. "You really stand out here... and still you seem to be more educated than most of my students."

"I paid a lot of attention in middle school" Arthur answered and looked at the strong back of the other one, smiling still. He did like flattery. "And my parents where very strict with my education... I guess I stick out because the only way I could revolt was by dressing informally as much as I could, until they couldn't tell me not to anymore"

The teacher laughed and threw him a glance over his shoulder. "Really? That's very bright of you, realizing that about yourself kid"

Arthur shrugged slightly and looked down at his body, smiling a bit at that too. "Well, I do like punk-music, how could I not? And I don't know... I guess you express yourself differently here, since no one seems to like what I'm wearing."

"They're just stupid..." the older sighed and put the eraser down before turning to look at him with a half sad smile. "I was like you, when I was your age... Not from Britain" he added with a soft chuckle. "but different from everyone else... people here, they're just intimidated by the ones who stick out too much, don't ever get pushed down boy it, ok?"

There was some sort of harsh tone in his voice, even though he looked worried and Arthur recognized it from so many teachers before. They all seemed to think that he wouldn't be able to make it through school (which he also never had, at least not when going to the same school for more than a couple of weeks in a row)... This one knew what it felt like, to be alone.

"I promise..." he answered and smiled softly, a reassuring one he hoped. "I'm pretty used to it, and my cousin is a jock, he promised he'd save me..." At this his teacher laughed a little and raised a questioning eyebrow. "He's on the football team I think... Alfred Jones?"

"Ah..." he nodded in understanding. "Well, he's a good card to play. If I had to choose a jock to stick up for me, I'd definitely go for him"

"Cause he's like the most popular kid at school I bet?" he asked, still curious about this kind of cute cousin of his. His teacher seemed amused by the question but then shook his head.

"Not only because of that, but I see you've done your homework about him?" Before Arthur could answer however, the bell rung and the older one looked up in surprise. "You really should be heading to your next class kid, otherwise you'll be in trouble on your first day here"

"I already am" he just chuckled back and then nodded in good bye, walking towards the door with his chest feeling kind of light and happy now. At least he had a teacher he could come to if he ever needed help with something. And it wasn't even a woman this time. Level up! That meant his teacher would probably stay professional and not get to personal with him...

... ... ...

"nnhh... fuck" she whimpered and he laughed, his stomach fluttering with something he hadn't felt in a very long time as he nibbled at her sensitive neck, hands pushing her harder against the hard surface when she gripped the desk underneath her until her knuckles grew white.

"That's what I'm doing" he mumbled into her hair, lips pressed against her earlobe soon after. "Didn't you notice?"

"Fuck you... oh nnh..."

She did make cute noises when she was like this. Especially when she was pushed down against something hard. He didn't really like that he himself was totally distracted by the noise from the busy corridor outside, by the laughter of his friends as they were making fun of someone, by the steps and hushed voices as the fourth period started and eventually even the silence was bothering to him. He couldn't concentrate on her, not at all but it wasn't until the thought of his cousin came into his mind that he understood just how distracted he was.

"Fuck..." he groaned and came before he even had the time to warn her. She was down on her knees, liking to suck him as he came but she was surprised still and swallowed with a half choking sound. "..s..sorry..." he mumbled and wiped her cheek clean with his thumb.

"You could have at least warned me there Mr..." she sighed but could not keep her smile away. "We're late for class baby..." she then smirked and bit her lip hornily, as if he hadn't just fucked her brains out a minute ago. She was a monster in bed, if anything.

"Yes" he answered and put his glasses on, since he had dropped his contacts again, because of her. Of course, she gave away a soft moan, seeing him in glasses always did that to her. "And I was thinking that maybe we should hurry so that we don't miss even more of it?"

"Oh you boring idiot..." she pouted and poked at his naked chest, her naked skin very pretty in this light, even he realized that. "Don't get dressed..."

He snort and shook his head. "I just gave you the fucking hour of your life... be a little grateful for once will you?"

She was taken aback by his words and said something like 'I'm sorry, christ...don't be mad...' but he didn't really listen. He somehow felt tired now, of her that was. She was always like this, trying to get him to do it again and again without even taking a breather in between. He never wanted to do it more than once, two tops and even if he did manage to do it two times in a row, he needed time to get hard again and he couldn't do that when she started pissing him off.

"I'm gonna go..." he said and pulled his jeans on. "You can do what ever you feel like"

"Come on Al..." she sighed and tried to close her arms around his waist to make him stop. "Don't be like this... we had such a good time..."

"No" came his answer before he had time to stop himself. "You had a good time." Before she even realized what he had just said, he removed her hands and stepped out of the room, closing the door behind himself and pulling his sweater on. "I just want to go home..."

"Then why don't we?" Arthur asked from where he was sitting in one of the large windows, startling Al almost to death.

"What are you doing up there? Here..? Shouldn't you be at class?" he blurred out, trying very hard not to show how much his heart had started raising.

"Shouldn't you?" his cousin just replied and jumped down easily, his hands almost immediately sneaking into his pockets. When Al didn't answer he seemed to think for a while, then adding. "I got bored... and the other guys in my classed seemed so intimidated and I thought, it's just day one, I shouldn't push them..."

"Sounds like a good enough excuse to skip..." he said, knowing he himself didn't have one at all. "So... you wanna head home?"

"I'd be delighted" Arthur smiled back, but nodded towards the door which Al had just stepped out through. "You sure you don't want to... tell her?"

"Al?"

He could feel shivers run down his spine when he heard her voice. As if she had just caught him cheating on her with one of her best friends... at least that was what she made him feel like. He didn't even want to turn around to look at her, sneaky ninja... always getting up behind his back before he had time to run.

Now... why did he feel like this? Never mind.

His feelings must have shown in his face though because Arthur wrinkled his forehead at first, then smiled charmingly and reached a steady hand out towards the now shy girl by the door. "Hello, you must be Lauren..?" he said and even though she looked uncertain, now that Al turned his head to look at them, she shook it. "I've heard a lot about you. Gosh, prettier than I thought, and that's saying something"

"Thanks..." she blushed and bit her lip cutely. Al's stomach was turning. Why was Arthur being so nice to her? Hadn't he seen that Al didn't want to be here? Why did he talk to her...? he was still mad at her... if he stayed here, she'd just make everything good again and for some reason he wasn't sure he really wanted that. "Baby?"

He snapped out of thoughts and looked at her, seeing her questioning eyes. There was something in them he hadn't really seen before. Was she frightened? "Yeah..." he answered and took a couple of steps closer, putting a hand on the small of Arthur's back and smiling. "This is my cousin, Arthur. The one I told you about" She nodded and smiled as well, her old self returning because obviously she thought this would make everything right. "Arthur, as you thought, this is..."

"His girlfriend" she interrupted and even though he didn't show it, he thought he would puke right there. She however, smiled even wider when she saw Arthur's eyes widen.

"Really?" he asked and she nodded happily, hooking her arm with Al's before he could tense his body about to hinder her. "He didn't tell me about that part?" Arthur added while searching for Al's eyes but he just forced a smile and tried not to look at his older cousin. Not that Arthur would understand how he felt really, and the older one must think she was a real catch... but Al had tried to tell Arthur the day before that he wasn't involved romantically with anyone, this would just make him look like a stupid, scared idiot.

"We're not really..." she started and he could feel her pressing gently against him as she spoke. "Well... not really official, our relationship I mean."

"I see" Arthur smiled. "I wish you luck then, and be sure to take good care of my foolish cousin will you? He needs someone who is strong enough to handle him and who can cook for him. Can you handle it?"

"Yes sir!"

"We need to go though..." Al said before she had the time to say anything else. "Arthur isn't feeling well and I thought I'd follow him home, he doesn't know the way yet and..." he looked at his cousin, trying to get him to help him with this because frankly he didn't know anything he could tell her that would make her go back to class instead of following them home and pester them for hours.

"Don't you have class hun?" the older one asked almost immediately after Al had ended his sentence.

"Yes but..." Now she was the one looking for help in Al's eyes, apparently wanting him to defend the cause and tell her that of course she could come with them. He didn't, instead he kept looking at Arthur. There was something in those green eyes, something cold. Why did he look angry like that? It was not like he was really showing it, it was just a hint in his eyes, the way his jaw was clenched, maybe a flicker of emotion when she looked up at Al and couldn't see it...

"You shouldn't miss class for our sake" he said and Al knew she wouldn't protest now. "We'll see you tomorrow Lauren?"

"Of course..." she nodded, looking totally disappointed but not coming with any objection. "it was nice to meet you Arthur, Al..." she pulled a little at his arm and he followed her a couple of steps towards the window to listen. "Please don't be mad at me baby..." she whispered and pulled at the hem of his pants a little, trying to look cute again. "You know I just want you so much..."

He couldn't believe that she was doing this, and that he was letting her, but he knew if he played along, she'd let him go so he nodded. Returning her kiss as she leaned against him, thinking about other things, not letting her affect him the way she wanted to. When she leaned back she looked a bit disappointed but still happy that he was no longer mad. (yeah right he wasn't).

"You didn't tell me he was..." she started and threw a glance at Arthur who was waiting for him at the door now. "You know..."

"No I don't know?" he lied, the anger bubbling again all red and furious in his blood. He was tired of hearing that now. First his mom and now th entire school... it was even sickening to him. "Never mind Lauren..." he then added when he saw that she was about to talk a hell of a lot again. "I'll see you tomorrow..."

"But how about practice...?" She looked worried as she asked and he suddenly realized he had totally forgotten about it. He threw a look at Arthur as well, who was listening but trying not to look like he was.

"I don't know..." he tried but she immediately shook her head at him.

"You never miss a practice Al..." she said, sounding more like a mother than anything else. Or maybe just like her own, annoying self this time. "And you shouldn't start with it just cause you have to take care of your cousin or what ever, you're in charge of what you should do... not your mother or.. him?" At the last word she gave his cousin a look as if she felt something smelling really badly and Al felt his stomach turn.

"I'll be there... now let me show him the way home, ok?" he couldn't keep the annoyance and distaste out of his voice but she didn't even seem to notice. Like she didn't notice the fact that he WANTED to go home and WANTED her to leave him alone. His mother had only told him to be kind to Arthur, not take care of him and Arthur wasn't the kind of person who asked for that either. He WANTED to be with Arthur more than to be with her, more than to know that after practice... she'd be waiting for him. He felt completely not horny for the first fucking time in his life.

Arthur was already walking down the hallway when Al caught up with him and they left the school without a word, side by side.

"You know..." Arthur started hesitantly. "If you don't want her... you should just tell her like a man? Or lie... you don't look like you're enjoying her company very much bro..."

"I..." Al sighed and kept his eyes locked to his feet, kicking dirt. "I used to feel like... with her I didn't have to pretend or anything, it was just... casual you know? Like... we'd... do it when we felt like it and that was that... nothing more to it... now she... I don't know..."

"She's like in every other case, wanting love and attention when you thought everything was going so great...?"

Al was bout to answer when he realized there was something up with the way his cousin had spoken. He didn't sound... like he knew he'd said it. Maybe it was just in Al's imagination but there was even a glimpse of something cold again in those green ones... He sounded like some kind of advanced robot, trying to simulate emotions where there were none. Or maybe... Yes. It must have just been his imagination. What else could it be?

"Yeah... I guess I'm just not ready for what she wants..." he said while still thinking about it.

"Or you're just not into her that much..." Arthur replied, not at all sounding robotic now. Must have just been his imagination, yes. "Maybe, you're meant for someone else..."

"Like who...?"

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><p>OMG you guys! That was chapter three! What did you think about it? :D<p>

I know the story is progressing a bit slowly but not to worry, I will soooon change that ;) I have som naughty cards up my sleeve! That's for sure ._.

Please review and tell me what you think about all of this, and maybe what you think is going to happen ;D that's always fun to hear!

Don't forget that I will be cosplaying this with my bf in a couple of months so don't miss the pics on DeviantART!

See ya next chappie cuties!


	4. The art of football

Look whoooos here? 8D yes! It's me again!

I am glad that those of you who read feel the urge to review and tell me what you think about this story! I love reviews o: Makes me feel like some of you actually take your time and really read what I put up here! So thank you so much for that :)

There might be some angst in this chapter so if you're depressed, be warned. It's not too much though ;) so don't worry

I'd like to apologize about my spelling by the way :/ my Beta is currently working on reading through all the chapters so that they will go away but I just couldn't wait to post another one before he finished 8D

Hope you'll like this chapter as much as the others!

**Warning!:** ATTENTION! ATTENTION! Not that much sex between males in this chappie, sorry about that! But there will be hinting and a some moaning so be warned! AND there WILL be lemon soon enough, patience is a virtue!

**Disclaimer:** Hetalia is not owned by me :( And I'm sorry about that!

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><p>"Matt, I really need to go to practice..." he sighed as he picked up the phone on his way through the hallway. It had rung as soon as they stepped in through the door and when he had picked up the phone the first time the connection had broken. Since then, both Al and Arthur had been resting in the living room without saying much. Now that Matt had called again, there wasn't much time until he had to get going, not to miss practice. "Can you hear me?"<p>

"Yeah I can..." his brother answered and coughed on the other side of the line. "I just miss home when I'm sick, sorry..."

"I know you do..."

He felt so bad for the younger one, knowing what a pain it must be for him to be so far away from home with such a high fever and no one to look out for him. Their mother had texted him when they were on their way home, telling him that Mathew was sick and needed his brother. But how could Al be in two places at once? How could he take care of the sick one who was in Canada and couldn't come home even if he wanted to.

"Is he nice..? Arthur I mean?"

Al couldn't keep the smile away as he tried to tie his shoes with one hand. "You never take no for an answer, do you?" he said and smiled even wider as he heard the other one laugh, the cough because of the laugh. "And yes" he then added. "He is very nice, you'd like him Matt"

"I bet..."

"Look I need to go now or else they'll kick me off the team" He could ear Matt snort at the other side when he said that.

"Like hell they will, they need you too much for them to be able to do that Al, even if they'd want to kick your ass out"

"Love how much you love me brother" Al chuckled back and within the minute they had successfully hung up and he was standing in the doorway, waiting for his new roommate. "You sure you want to come with me?" he called to the other one upstairs. "It looks like it's going to be raining in not to long..."

"Yeah, of course I'll come with you!" Arthur called back from the bathroom. "I wanna see you play after all, and don't worry, I'll borrow your clothes so I won't get beaten up buy your little friends for being different. That would totally suck and ruin my day if it happened."

"You're very intelligent Artie"

"Don't fucking call me that" his cousin laughed when coming down the staircase, dressed in one of Al's thicker sweaters and a pair of his own, regular jeans. Even though Al knew he would be dressed like that, it was still quite a shock not to see him in punkish clothes. "Makes me sound like a little kid or something..."

"Well you are, and that looks good one you by the way"

They were both in an unusually good mood, it seemed. Al tried not to think about how he cold avid Lauren and her horny eyes and therefore made as many jokes as possible, just to see that spark of laughter in Arthur's eyes. Arthur seemed to find everything interesting too, which was fun enough to distract him even more. He pointed at supermarkets and people, commenting about their choice of clothes or the way a building was built. How could the US be such a big difference from Britain? Al reminded himself to go straight to google later and look stuff about England up, just for the fun of it.

"So you said you and Lauren...?" Arthur suddenly started, without looking at him but apparently curious. He didn't finish the sentence though cause they were both aware that Al knew the rest of it.

"Yeah... after every practice..." he answered and looked the other way. Earlier it had been so much easier to talk to him. On the bus it felt like everyone else could be listening too, and talking about sex with Arthur... well, it felt weird telling anyone about the things you never thought you would even mention out loud. Not even his brother, who right now was the closest friend he had, knew about it all. But there was some damn thing about Arthur that just made Al open up and talk... even if he had come to fear that he might regret it later.

"Can't you just tell her that you need to get home?" Arthur asked and chewed absentmindedly on a breath mint. "I mean, yes, you've always been doing it with her like that but she has to understand it if you tell her that you're grounded or something"

"She knows I don't care if I'm grounded..." he mumbled back and took the breath mint he was given with a slight smile. "Thanks..."

"You know, if you don't tell her and you go to have sex with her anyway.." his cousin kept going and shrugged as he spoke. "I could always wait for you somewhere and we can talk about this later? Cause I can understand it must be a pain in the ass to have to tell her 'no' like this. After all, she'll just blame me or something..."

Al thought about it and didn't answer with anything else than a nod, which left them silent for the rest of the bus ride. When he was with her, she pissed him off and when he wasn't, he felt like such a bad person for even being mad at her. She was gorgeous and kind, a bit of a bitch but who wasn't? He knew him himself was a fucking pussy for not wanting to either loose her nor get her to go away. They had been friends for so long, he felt like if he broke it with her, he'd loose her... for real.

"I should just tell her I just want to be friends or something..." he sighed as they walked the last couple of minutes to the school from the bus stop. "...but I heard from David on the team that you shouldn't?"

"What did 'David on the team' say about that?" Arthur chuckled and looked around as if he was suspecting someone to jump them at any minute.

"He said that he told his ex that, and she threw a shoe at him for being a self absorbed dick..."

Arthur nodded and looked back at him with a little smile. "I think I would have done that too if I was that girl... you don't want to hear that the guy you're in love with just wants to be friends all of a sudden"

"Girls are so fucking hard to understand..."

"Not really..." Arthur sounded pretty serious as he spoke but was still smiling and shrugged as Al raised an eyebrow at this absurd statement. "I mean, everyone is like that, somewhere inside you know? What would you have done if the one YOU loved suddenly stopped wanting to be with you and then told you something like that? Doesn't matter if you're a girl or something... but yes, they do show their feelings more than most guys do, but that doesn't necessarily have to be a bad thing..."

"You're gonna be a shrink or something?" Al laughed, even though he felt a bit more at ease now. Arthur was smart, and he saw things and the shades of grey in stead of just black and white, like everyone else here did. It was true, of course. Al knew a lot of guys felt things he never had, like Michael who had been so much in love with his girlfriend that they had gotten engaged... he just wasn't used to anyone showing that much emotions in public around him. His mother always tried her best to hide what she felt even though both him and Matt knew she was sad all the time. Their father never showed anything, if he wasn't drunk, which he always was but still... Matt showed a lot of emotions but he was younger, and he was his little brother so that felt completely different from everyone else.

When Lauren had first started to show those emotions, he had been freaked out. It was just small small things. Like her smiling every time she saw him, or taking his hand when they were alone. What scared him wasn't that she wanted him to be hers... but that he knew that he couldn't be, even if he wouldn't have minded.

"Earth to Alfred Jones?"

Al snapped out of his thoughts with a grin and pointed towards the field. "You go that way and just take a seat somewhere, I'll go that way and we'll meet up..." he looked around for a place but didn't find one. "I don't know... I'll text you when I'm done?"

"Sounds like a plan..."

... ... ...

Arthur had taken a place on the benches, pretty far down by the ground, not to draw to much attention to himself. He didn't feel like being spotted by some random kids, not when wearing these clothes at least. He might not BE his style, but he certainly felt vulnerable without it. His iPhone was playing harshly in his ears and he chuckled when the players on the field happened to run in the same pace as the music.

Al was very good at everything he did. Not that Arthur knew that much about this kind of football but he sure looked good there. The others seemed to be knowing exactly how to handle him too, they were always there when he did his moves.

"American football is still just an excuse for guys to be all touchy touchy without anyone calling them gay" he chuckled to himself as one of the teammates got tackled by another and they both fell to the ground in a mess of arms and kicking legs. "Cause of course football players can't be gay..."

Their teacher seemed like a bitch though, pushing them all until they were totally drained and then pushing them even further. Al was the one who got pushed the most it seemed, but he was also the only one who didn't complain even once. Not that Arthur could see anyway.

The song in his ear was loud and it was a good thing, because otherwise his thoughts would have gone mad along with his body. Because his body was fucking mad...

The entire day had gone by without much happening, which of course gave his body and mind some time to adjust. He had had to leave class more than five times before lunch just to get his dick to calm down and he hardly knew why. Maybe it was because of the fact that there were a lot of good looking guys at this school, cause yes, he was gay. Or maybe the thought of Al really HAD gone to his head. Not good.

He always had had a thing for people half related to him, which was a bit creepy. When he was about five years old he had fallen in love with his aunt's husband's son. That didn't work out cause the boy didn't want to share a swing at the playground. There had also been the older kids at school when he was ten, one guy especially, that had been like a brother to him... that didn't work out either because he was a dick who stole pencils from your pencil-box when you weren't looking.

Anyway. Al. Fuck.

He couldn't stop thinking about him for some reason. Which made him uncertain what he was even doing here. This guy was wonderful and caring to the ones he loved, he was not gay and totally hard for women... The fact that he himself had half died every minute from the first time he saw him wasn't good at all. Fine if he had gone and fallen for him after a couple of months, but after a moment? After he had told himself never to rush things like that again? No... he was disappointed with himself again.

"He is my cousin, and he will probably be my best friend for a long time..." he said to himself and changed the song from a rather depressing one to one that sounded like butterflies and ice cream. "...you just miss home _yeah right_ and he has been kind to you... you've needed someone like that, that's why you're feeling this Arthur"

Down at the field the players had started to pull back, chatting and taking their time to be social before hitting the showers. Arthur, who was trying to think about other things than the fact that he had felt something hard through Al's boxers earlier that morning, now felt a bit sad that he had never done any sports himself. Well, he tried cricket when he was younger but that wasn't anything he really enjoyed. The only thing he had liked was the changing rooms.

_Yes, I am a perv. _

Maybe he should start training in some way, at least start running or making Al walk with him all the way to school for exercise. No, he should go a lone. The more he spent time with AL, the worse this would certainly get. He didn't really feel like ruining this one's life ether. He had a nap for doing that to people.

Al leaned against the hard wall, his head pounding as if he hit it back against the hard surface over and over. He had been waiting for Lauren, it must be over fifteen minutes now and he had decided that if she didn't show within five more, he'd end it with her officially. Because that would mean that stood him up.

... ... ...

The practice had been tiresome but fun, since he knew Arthur was watching form the benches. Of course he had tried to look cooler and less tried because of that... Arthur was still someone he needed to impress. Even though he didn't really know why the fuck he really felt like making Arthur respect him was so important he would have kept running even if he'd broken his leg.

He didn't really know how to feel about Lauren at this moment. If she didn't show, that would mean the end, not only to their little affair, but also to their friendship... that was for sure. The more he thought about that, the harder his and quicker his stomach turned.

"Al...?" Her voice was insecure and low, as if she was afraid he'd run if she spoke up to loudly. He turned towards her and he could even se the anxiety in her facials, the way she twirled her fingers together as she walked and the way her steps seemed to get dragged over the floor. "I thought you wouldn't come to meet me today..." she then continued, frankly enough.

"Why?"

"Cause..." she didn't really seem to know what to say but she didn't hesitate anymore and walked up to him, her arms soon tightly around his neck, fingers digging softly into the muscles on his back. "I'm so sorry baby... I... Can't we just forget about today? Pretend that it didn't even happen?"

She sounded so sad, so lonely. Like the fire in her had almost gone out... he didn't want that. No. He must have just been a bit scared of that damn thing called commitment. Like this, when she was like this... she wasn't... she was just to darn sweet.

"It's okay hun..." he whispered, arms tightening around her slimmed waist, pulling her closer to his chest. "...let's forget about today, it didn't happen... and for the record, I'm sorry too..."

"Thank you..." she was still whispering, but he could hear the smile now. She was warm, soft. Her fingers on his back felt like the softest in the world even if she gripped him tight. He didn't mind this. He really didn't. And he would not tell himself anything else from now on.

"Come on..." he smiled and looked down at her, brushing some of her brown locks out of her soft skinned face. "...let's forget this in the best way there is?"

"You're talking about sex, aren't you?"

"Aren't I always?"

... ... ...

As Arthur stood waiting for his cousin at the entrance to the field, he tried to blend in as much as he could in the background. He didn't even want to look at the jocks leaving the field, knowing that some of them, or most, might have... aggressive tendencies. Of course that was a very unhealthy way of thinking, you can't just go around and assume that every athlete will beat your face in just because you know that it has happened somewhere, sometime. But he couldn't help it. When he was wearing his boots and his own clothes, at least they were intimidated by him. Now, he felt less than naked.

His phone buzzed in his pocket and he pulled it up immediately. It wasn't Al though, total disappointment.

"Hello mother" he sighed as he answered, not at all up for talking to her even though she had taken her time to call him at a time when she knew he wasn't at school nor sleeping. "Yes I am fine... Been eating properly and sleeping like a princess... okay okay, as a prince then"

She babbled on for more than half an hour about his father being an idiot, his brother being a jackass and how much she missed him. He really couldn't agree. Yes, it was nice to hear her voice and know that Home with capital H still excised, but he didn't miss her very much. Not really. Not yet.

She on the other hand spoke about his trip as if though he had already been gone for over a year and she couldn't wait for him to get home. She spoke about the holidays and that she and the others might come down sometime, to visit him and the rest of the family. She spoke about that too as if it would be so much fun to see everyone but in truth, he knew she just wanted to get away.

He didn't listen to most of what she said though, it didn't even make his time go faster as he stood and waited for Al's text. That girl Lauren must really be taking that break up harshly.

_Maybe I should go check on them... just to make sure she's not killing him_

With that, and his mother on the phone, he started walking towards the school. He didn't really know in which toilet they used to... do it, but he had seen Al looking a bit weirdly at one of them when they had passed it, earlier that way. He'd try that one first.

"Yes mother... I will tell her that"

... ... ...

"Oh fuck!" she moaned and he laughed again.

"You always say the same things when I do this..." he said and shook his head. "Makes me wonder if you really like it or if you're faking it?"

"Christ! Fucking bloody Christ I'm not faking!"

She was down on the floor, her stomach to the cold surface with fingers trying to grip the hard tile, eyes closed and hips shaking underneath his touch. She was completely naked and she had been for a long time now, whimpering every time he touched her the slightest, moaning every time he let his tongue slide over her soft back.

"You know..." he smirked, the first smirk he had let out in a long while really. "I could do this to you all day and you wouldn't get to come... how is that for making up for everything, huh?"

"You're mean..." she groaned but looked up at him over her shoulder, the lust clear as fire in her eyes.

He knew he needed to go soon and that there would be no time for him to actually do anything more to her than he actually had. However, he kind of liked being in charge like this... made it feel a bit more like he was alive. He reached out and gently let his finger slide over the arched small of her back, earning a hissing sound of longing and emotion form her pink lips.

"Just for now I am..." he bent over and whispered next to her ear, earning more cute little sounds from her. "Just imagine what I'll do when I have the time not to be..."

"Oh fuck... fuck fuck fuck!"

"Yes, that I will do"

... ... ...

"Mom, I really need to hang up now, gonna meet up with Alfred..." he sighed as he stepped into the right corridor. "No mom, he didn't abandon me or anyth.. no? I was just watching his football practice... No I didn't? Why does everything I do always have to do with the fact that I'm gay mom? It's not like you watch cricket just cause you're straight? Yeah what ever... you can think what you want. Bye."

His head was hurting now. That damn woman. She always knew what exact words to say to ruin his entire day. If he had been back home he would have dragged some poor guy home to her now, introducing him to the family as his lover and then go up to his room to have sex with him so everyone in the house would hear. That was hard to do now so hanging up in her ear had seemed like the best thing he could do. He ignored the phone as it started ringing again and kept walking down the corridor instead.

It was dork, since the only people in the school except them where the janitor and the hallways seemed slightly spooky. Not that he was afraid of ghosts or anything, it was just that he could see them... which set him off a bit. You didn't really WANT to see shadows in the corners and stuff when you were alone. Once, he had pointed at one of them to show it to his mother and she had tried to get him into an asylum.

There was lights coming form one of the toilets at the part of the corridor furthest away from him and he stopped. He had been listening for crying and upset voices, that was not what he heard. He could hear her clearly, moaning like crazy... him laughing softly. His body grew cold immediately and he drew in a deep breath to collect himself.

This was it. Thankfully, before he himself did something stupid, it had all ended. There was not the slightest chance now that Al would... swing the other way. And that was a good thing. It meant that Arthur didn't have to let anyone down anymore. It meant that he didn't have to think about his cousin like that anymore.

"Fuck..." he hissed while closing his eyes hard, feeling hot liquid run down his cheek as he did so. "...I'm such a fucking mess... I need to stop fucking thinking about stuff like this... it will drive me insane in no time..."

He tried to shut her voice out but it was impossible. Her half annoyed laugh still held that happy ring of a woman in love, Al's chuckle back was like... Arthur took a step back and turned around. Al would text him when they were done. He could just as well wait outside until then. Yes, that's right. He didn't need to stand there and listen. It had nothing at all to do with how nauseous he felt when hearing it all, no, he just... needed some fresh air. Al had said something about the cafeteria being open or something... he should go there. Maybe he was just hungry...

_As long as it will distract me... from everything else._

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><p>Aw... poor Artie...<p>

What was that about anyway? Why did Al just forgive her like that? Does he really love her? Or is he just more afraid of being alone..?

And Arthur... what is it that he is talking about all the time? Why did he seem to know so much and still he seems to be so fragile..?

Find out more in the next chapter!

And don't forget to review and tell me what you think about the story!


	5. Hot and cold

Hi people! Been waiting I see? 8D

I am so happy that I've gotten people to fall in love with this story! you have no idea how thankful I am for all the kind words and sweet speculations ;) please continue!

I'd like to remind you that my Beta is working on my spelling as we speak which means the chapters are not yet corrected ._. I really just want to post them as soon as I finish them so that you guys won't have to wait for ever :) I know errors can be a bother and if you do not want to read the chapter until it's corrected, just send me a pm and I will notify you as soon as they are without errors :D

Now this little chapter is a thing of beauty if you ask me ;) please enjoy (L)

**Warning!:** ATTENTION! ATTENTION! Lemon + Lemon = sexy hot shit that you're gonna be drooling about ;D just wait and see cuties

**Disclaimer:** I do NOT own anything that concerns Hetalia :( sorry about that... I DO how ever own my bran, if that is of any help? ;_;

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><p>Al had seen something was wrong as soon as he had met up with Arthur outside the gates to the school grounds. He had been smiling but there was something in those eyes that seemed forced and if Al was not mistaken, it looked a lot like the other one had been crying. He didn't dare ask why, but the older one had been gripping his cellphone tightly enough for it to seem weird so he figured something might have happened.<p>

On the way home he had been joking and laughing as usual, well, he didn't laugh much but he smirked and chuckled at what Al said. He tried not to tell his cousin the feelings behind his choice to accept Lauren's apology... Still, Arthur seemed to find it very amusing. Which was a bit annoying.

"But dude" Arthur suddenly said, trying to make his grin go away and look serious instead. "I'm happy that you realized you might be up for it after all, and she'll be so much happier now"

"Yeah..." Al nodded and couldn't help smiling. "I still don't really know what to do, but when she is happy I know she won't be such a pain... and well... I do like her"

"Good, that's what matters after all..."

Al nodded again and let his eyes get drawn to the window, watching the lights fly by without much care in the world. He'd have to think this through eventually, but not now. His mind was still full of the images from earlier, her body in front of him, the softness of her skin... He'd regret this, wouldn't he?

The house was empty when they stepped in through the door and Al found some macaronis and cheese in the fridge that his mother had left. She must have gone out shopping or something. It was kind of a relief, since he was to tired for her and her thousand questions.

"You Americans eat such shitty things" Arthur laughed when seeing the yellow food and then excused himself to go take a quick shower. Al didn't protest, even though he needed a shower even more. He could wait, as long as he knew that sad look in Arthur's eyes would go away soon. Maybe he was just cold or something. He knew that could affect your mood, his mother had said so after he had been out in the rain for hours and then got all mad at her.

While waiting, he started putting the yellow stuff onto plates that would go into the microwave. He appreciated food that you could just quickly warm up without any complications. He didn't start warming it though, just let it sit on the counter so that his cousin could prepare his own when he was done.

After a couple of minutes more however, he was starting to get real cold now from the lingering sweat and Arthur was taking too long. After watching the time he gave up on waiting and made his way up the stairs. He could still hear the shower going and feel the heat from it leaking from underneath the door before he opened it. The entire room was filled with steam and he could just barely make out the frame of the older one underneath the water.

"Hey Arthur" he said and started unbuttoning his pants. He could see the other one stopping abruptly in his movements when he had spoken, as if frightened by the sudden voice. "Sorry I scared you man" he added with a chuckle and threw his pants in the washing bag. "I really need to pee, and I'm fucking cold... you done soon?"

"Y-yeah" came the answer, as if Arthur really had been scared shitless and was now recovering. "I'm done now if you wanna..."

"Yeah, just gotta pee first"

As he did so, there was silence between them that he couldn't really explain, until it hit him that maybe Arthur just wasn't used to his relatives or friends peeing in the same room while he was in the shower. Al knew Americans could be strict about nudity and stuff, but he had had no idea what so ever of this? Surely, his cousin hadn't seemed like the type to get embarassed nor disgusted by stuff like this... Or had he gotten all that wrong in the few days he'd known him? He threw a glance at the dimmed sight of the other and wrinkled his forehead slightly.

"You okay in there?" he asked and flushed before stepping closer, trying to see him better through the misty glass. Arthur was leaning his blond head against the cold wall, his back facing Al, his eyes looked closed when he tried to see them and he didn't seem to be listening at all. "Arthur?"

He wasn't sure what was going on, heck, Arthur could just be taking a break and cooling down some by using the cold wall. But the was something about the way his hands were just barely holding him up against the cold surface that worried him. Al knew that he himself had fainted after taking a too hot or too cold shower, both of them actually, so before he knew it his body had reacted instinctively, pushing the door open and grabbing his cousin around the waist to hold him up. He hardly noticed how the cold water half drenched him or the way his clothes now stuck to his skin. He just gripped the older one tight until he felt him react, relaxing almost as he leaned back into Al's embrace. He was shaking slightly...

Al looked up through the sprinkling water and then shut it off. Cold water didn't leave this kind of mist on the windows... He must have changed it from hot to cold not too long ago. No wonder his body fucking gave in on him.

"What the fuck dude...?" he half whispered as he tried to use the wall to help himself sit down with the shaking one still in his arms. "I don't know what the fuck you do in England, but here we think before suddenly showering in that cold water... You listening to me?"

"Yeah..." he answered, but it wasn't more than a whisper. Al sighed and reached for a big towel hanging by the door, pulling it down and drying Arthur's hair off slightly before warping it around them both.

"Are you gonna tell me what's going on here?" he asked as he had done so, annoyingly aware of the fact that his wet pants were getting cold and itchy underneath the weight of Arthur's shaking body. "Or is this the way you always shower...? Cause I don't really think that is it." He didn't want to sound mad, but the slight adrenaline of finding himself scared left a slight harsh tone in his voice. He was just worried, that's all... Stupid Englishman.

Arthur just closed his eyes a bit harder and breathed out without looking like he would answer. Al didn't know what to do really but for some reason he felt fucking sorry for this guy through the half anger. Even if there really wasn't anything wrong and he had just half fainted from bad judgement in the shower, he still had almost FAINTED and that was never a fun ride. They sat in silence for a while as Arthur's shaking slowly stopped and Al kept stroking his wet hair with one corner of the towel that was not covering them. Since he didn't get an answer he suspected that his cousin either did not want to talk about it or he hadn't heard him. And since Al wasn't a girl, he didn't feel the need to ask a thousand questions either. Even if he wanted to know of course.

Instead he sighed after a while and shifted slightly underneath the weight, making Arthur twitch almost as if he had fallen asleep. "Look..." Al smiled and bent over so that he could look straight into his cousin's eyes, upside-down. "...we can't stay like this, or we'll get sick or something..."

"You don't get sick from only being cold..." Arthur pointed out, trying to sound cheerful obviously even though he mostly sounded like he already was sick or something.

"But if you're cold you're more recipient to illness, right?" Al half laughed and felt the stone on his chest get a little less heavy as he saw the other one smiling back a little at him. "I'm not totally daft, if you thought so..."

"I never said that..."

"No" Al declared, trying to sound hurt and upset. "But you were thinking it, idiot"

"Wanker..."

Al laughed and took a gentle, but firm grip around his cold relative, pulling him up to his feet in an odd movement and then leaned against the wall himself to be able to hold the other one up right. Arthur tried his best not to be a bother but leaned against him slightly still, his eyes not focusing as fast as they should. Al shook his head and gave him more of his shoulder to lean against.

"Let's get you cuddled up under some blankets and get some food into you so you don't die on me man..." he said and started helping him out of the room, still filled with steam, then taking him down the stairs towards the sofa. "...that would be so fucking annoying since I'd have to call my mom and tell her I killed you or something"

His cousin just chuckled drily and closed his eyes in relief as he was caught by the soft couch. Al had done his best to ignore the fact that the other one was completely naked, since he though that maybe Arthur would faint from embarrassment if he commented on it, now it was kind of impossible though, seeing as his cousin was lying on his back without the towel covering him anymore.

Al couldn't really fail to notice how stunning he truly was, to be a man of course. His skin was even more pale than he had ever seen a girl's and amazingly enough, he was very hairless for being a man... an older man. There wasn't a visible hair on either his chest or torso... he didn't look like a kid through, not at all... he just, didn't have that much... hair? Further down of course he did but...

He coughed and reached for the towel that had fallen to the floor and took a deep breath. _Well THAT was unexpected... _he thought and then chuckled to himself. His mind really did play tricks on him sometimes. The towel was too wet to use though and he excused himself, went up to his room to get both their blankets and an extra pillow.

It felt weird to know that he had even gotten that thought into his head. It was almost as if it had felt completely natural when it had popped up, he'd even let it bloom for a while, but as soon as the thought had... cooled down in his mind, it had just been plain weird. He really had been pretty sweet to look at in that light though.

"Had I been gay, I would have totally gone for him, no question about it" He chuckled out loud and then kicked his door open gently again, the pillow and blankets towering over him so that he could hardly see where he was going. "...now, I'll just get myself to stop thinking about it so I don't fall down the stairs"

He didn't. Fall down the stairs that was.

When he came into the living room, Arthur had apparently realized just how naked he had been because he had now pulled his knees up to his chest, looking slightly embarrassed as Al dumped the big pile next to him on the sofa.

"Brought any clothes for me?" he asked and Al immediately felt completely stupid. How could he have forgotten? He had been thinking about the guy naked for Christ sake and still he hadn't had the slightest idea about putting him back into his clothes? Well that was a bit fucked up.

"I'll go get your PJ's" he said apologetically and caught a smile from his cousin before he turned to go upstairs again.

... ... ...

Since Al apparently decided to take a long poop or something, Arthur was left on the couch without clothes and with a hard-on he was trying to hide underneath the covers. He felt numb and sore, almost as if he had taken a tumble in that shower. He was pretty sure he hadn't though. There was a soft memory of Al grabbing him before his legs even gave in so he should not even have touched the ground with his head. But it sure felt like it.

This was all a fucking mess. He shouldn't have done that. But at home, the water was never that fucking cold and the change between hot and well, cold, wasn't as dramatic as it had been now. From now on he must come up with another way of satisfying himself in the shower... that was for sure. And if not because of the risk of fainting, then for the extreme possibility that his cousin could walk into the bathroom at any moment it seemed. If it happened again, he knew now that he couldn't turn on the cold water to get his damn cock to grow limb again.

"And he said he just needed to pee?" he mumbled and felt his cheeks flush as if he was having a fever. "Gave me a fucking heart attack" And why had he felt the need to tell him he needed to pee anyway? Now he could't get the image of... well, him with his dick out in the open to leave his already filled brain.

He was glad that the red had (probably) gone away by the time he heard the toilet flush though and by the time he heard steps in the staircase he was already completely covered underneath the blanked, except for his head.

"You took long just to get PJ's" he smiled and reached out for them. Al threw them in his face without a word but stuck his tongue out at him before walking into the kitchen. Arthur didn't even have time to ask him what he was going to do before he could hear the microwave beeping and he swallowed the question.

"You could take the opportunity, now that I am in the kitchen, to get yourself dressed you know" Al called from in there and Arthur realized in a sec that he was right. But his body still felt so damn heavy didn't even know if he could. He started though, with the boxers that his cousin had also brought...

_Fuck... he has touched these..._

He shook his head and crawled into them. He had been without sex for too long now... he couldn't really stand this "on and off" kind of thing. He needed to get laid or never have sex again. Trying to concentrate on the, kind of delicious, smell of food coming from the kitchen, he tucked his hardened member into his pants with a soft whimper and then pulled the shirt on. At lest this hard-on thing had really gotten his body working again. That was a good thing...

"Here you gooo" Al smiled as he came back into the room with one plate each, filled with yellow gue that smelled good as hell for Arthur's hungry stomach. "I thought we might have some TV-dinner and then some tea before bedtime?" he added and Arthur could feel himself growing warm by the thought of a cup of warming tea.

"I'd like that..." he smiled and took the plate with a thankful nod. He heard the familiar sound of the TV being forced to start and smiled when Al cursed about the remote not working as it should. The mac 'n cheese was so much better than he would have thought by the sight of it, and it only took him a couple of minutes to eat it all up. Al's mother really knew how to cook, at least he had heard that you were good if you could make mac 'n cheese taste this way. Or maybe he was just too hungry and could love anything at the moment?

When their plates were clean and both of them had a large cup of tea each Arthur finally felt his body relax from the tension that it had been building up ever since that shower. He hadn't felt this relaxed since he came to the US really, even though talking to Al had made him feel more at home than he had done back in England... like, ever. If he ignored the fact that being around the younger one made his dick go fucking crazy hard...

His mind was relaxed now, more than ever but he chose to blame that on the tea of course. He needed to relax more, or he'd really go crazy here. He needed to be able to graduate after all, get himself a life so that he could get away from everyone who was trying to tell him how to live the one he had now... Besides, he couldn't live here for ever. He couldn't even jerk off around here and sharing a room with Al might be fun but not if you had a crush on him and his fucking gorgeous sleeping face. He drank his tea slowly and only half watched the show Al seemed to be so passionate about. He didn't even know the name of it or what it was about. By the time the credits rolled across the screen, he was already soundly asleep underneath the covers.

... ... ...

Al had left his sleeping friend in the living room when his mother came back home, telling her to be quiet so that she wouldn't wake him before walking up to his own room and rolling into bed himself. He was totally beat after everything that had happened that day. Just the thought about Lauren in a good mood, Arthur in a bad mood... or maybe sad mood? Arthur in a fainting mood and then naked Arthur? It had given him a real headache and as soon as he shut the lights of and let his head fall against the pillow, he was asleep.

... ... ...

"You know... you're extremely hot when you sleep..."

He felt like that voice penetrated the darkness and hit him like a frying pan straight in the face. He didn't want to open his eyes so he took the pillow and buried his face in it, as if trying to strangle himself with it. What was the time anyway? And who...?

He could feel someone half sitting on his bedside, fingers gently pulling at the covers as if wanting him uncovered. They were cold and rough against his now exposed chest. Not hard, just rough in the texture so this could most definitely not be Lauren. But fuck it felt good being touched by those hands. They seemed to know real well what they should be doing because within seconds he was already aching for more than just those fingertips against his torso.

"Fuck..." he hissed underneath the pillow and felt his legs tensing at the end of the bed, the weight next to him shifting and the hands moving down his bare chest. "...nnh... yes..." He heard himself moan and the voice chuckled next to his ear. So fucking close that he could almost feel those full lips touching his earlobe with the most gentle warmth he could ever have felt. He wanted so much more than that. "Fucking teas..." he breathed out and half died when cold fingers suddenly wrapped themselves around his hard cock, sending pleasures through his entire body.

It had never fucking felt this good being touched like that. Coming was the part that felt good... not getting touched with fingertips, cold fingertips... fucking talented fingertips!

Who are you? Was the question he wanted to ask, but he couldn't get himself to do so. Because he already knew... There was no one else here that it could be, other than Arthur... his cousin Arthur. But he didn't care. This felt too damn good to give up, just because of the fact that he was kind of being molested in his sleep by his own cousin, who was a man. If it wasn't some burglar who had decided he wanted to... oh fuck.

Changing the subject... what was that beeping noise? It was driving him crazy! The way it was messing with his pleasure and just made him feel tired and heavy. He didn't want the warmth to go away and those fingers where ever so lovely. But.. Oh no... he knew this feeling all to fucking well.

"Ngghhh" he moaned and buried his face deeper under the pillow, wanting to die now for real and wait... Where was that weight that just now had felt ever so nice against him.

He reluctantly opened his eyes and peeked out from underneath the pillows. There was sunshine pouring in through the curtains, which he of course had forgotten to close before falling asleep they day after. It was the alarm clock that was ringing. The one that he had made sure he'd never use again... apparently his mother must have found it where he had hidden it and made sure to set it so that she wouldn't have to wake him up herself.

He sat up slowly and looked around the room. The madras on the floor had not been used, it was both empty of human and blanket. He must have been dreaming that weird... sexy thing because frankly, Arthur would not have done that. He knew he could have real vivid sex-dreams, he should just be happy that it hadn't gotten much further. That would have been really awkward after all.

He slowly lifted his blanket and looked underneath, sighing with slight frustration at the morning glory. He quickly got up from bed, which he usually did not do, and hurried into the bathroom not to run into anyone on the way. He then spent the next twenty minutes in the shower, which he needed since he had not taken one really after working out and having sex yesterday.

He sighed and leaned back against the cold wall, eyes closed. The warm water was almost painful against his erection and even though he tried using every trick he knew, it didn't seem to be working at all, none of it. No matter what he did he just couldn't get the thought of those cold, rough fingers out of his head. The feel of them against the head of his cock, how they had known exactly how to please him... He closed his eyes harder and let go with his hand, just barely touching the slit with his thumb while turning the water slowly to cold. It wasn't really the same, at all. But his fingertip had the same rough texture and as his body grew colder from the water, moans slipped out of him, even though he really shouldn't...

The weird thing was that doing it like this made him come within a minute and when we was done, he was all shaky. He laughed a little to himself as he got out of the shower, mostly in embarrassment since he never really thought about any kind of fantasies while doing... that. He hadn't really had any fantasies either, since Lauren practically let him do anything he wanted. Most guys might be jealous or something... But if you have it all, you tend to grow jealous of everyone else, who still have something to look forward to. Kind of. Not that this was some kind of fantasy he wanted to come true. It had just feel pretty amazing to actually have something to think about, something you'd never do.

He realized when he was back in his room that maybe he had taken a bit too long in there and hurried to get dressed. He needed to get some breakfast into his stomach before school wanted him dead again, and the buss would leave in less than thirty minutes. Stupid early hours.

"Good morning!" he called from the staircase as he hurried down, pulling his socks on as he went. "Is there any breakfast or have you guys eaten it all?"

"Morning" Arthur answered from the table where he was sitting, reading the paper with a cup of hot tea in front of him. "There are some fried eggs and toast if you want?"

Al nodded hungrily and took what was left of it before joining his cousin by the table. He hadn't have time to get something other than milk to drink but that was good enough for him, especially since he was just gonna shove everything down his throat anyway. The thoughts of his dream were pushed far back in his mind, so far back he could hardly remember... okay he could but he was telling himself that he couldn't.

"You sleep okay?" he asked after a moment of silence, feeling a bit as if he was the kid and Arthur was some kind of grown-up, reading the paper. He really wasn't used to teenagers behaving like Arthur did sometimes, it felt truly weird.

"Yeah" the older one answered and smiled at him from over the edge of the news. "I guess I fell asleep pretty quickly in the sofa yesterday, got slightly surprised when I woke up and realized I was still in the living room..."

"Didn't wanna wake you when I got off to bed..." Al explained and drank big mouthfuls of the milk. "And then mom got home so I had to tell her at least a thousand times that you were already asleep and she needed to be quiet... don't get why she has to come home so late these days." He drank some more and dried his mouth of with his sleeve. "Hope you slept well on the couch?"

"Yes yes" Arthur smiled and put the paper down with some kind of grown-up grace, even though his outfit wasn't really grown-up looking at all. "I slept like sleeping beauty, only... I didn't get woken by a prince or anything" He was wearing a tight T-shirt with the Union Jack on it, made out of flowers strangely enough. It fit him really well, but made him look... well a little gay? Not that he seemed to notice that himself though.

"Too bad for you... guess that would have been like a dream, huh?"

"Haha if there was a prince in the living room I think I would have had other things on my mind than my dreams thank you very much" Arthur just laughed back and drank from his cup.

"What do you mean?" Al grinned curiously but didn't even get an answer because Arthur's phone rang and Al himself realized that he was again running out of time. He hurried to brush his teeth and get all his things together. When he was done and headed for his shoes, Arthur was already waiting for him by the door with a mocking smile.

"You're very slow, even when you're hurrying you know" he said and opened the door for them both.

"You're the one who disses me for your phone?"

"It was my mom" Arthur objected and then sighed. "She is so damn worried about me being over here that I hardly know what to say to calm her the fuck down... annoying as hell"

Al nodded in understanding and patted his cousin slightly on the back to show that he knew exactly how he felt. After that they both had to run to catch the bus. Al hated doing that but better to have to run and catch the bus then don't and be late an all. He didn't need that.

As soon as they were on the bus, he could see Lauren and the others in the back, waving and shouting. He would rather have wanted to stay close to Arthur, since he was so much more calm but mostly because of the fact that he had never taken the bus. He gave his cousin a look how ever and the older one just laughed and nodded towards the woman and their friends.

"Just go bro" he then said and pushed at Al's side. "You need a good sucking face time after all, you haven't gotten any since yesterday"

"Oh fuck you Arthur..." he blushed back and could barely make out Arthur's 'I wish!' when he had left him in the front of the bus. He didn't even think about it much because soon she was there, arms around his neck and lips agains his. She was so soft against him and even though the other guys where whistling and making fun of them, he closed his eyes and smiled. Maybe it was okay for him to enjoy this, just a little bit.

* * *

><p>Wait what? O.o<p>

Oh yes... what was that now? And you know what I'm talking about, don't you? Was it just a dream? Was it really someone doing that to AL? (And by someone of course I mean Arthur!) and what on earth happened earlier? In the shower I mean... Why did Arthur almost fain? How is he really doing...? What do you guys think because I have really no idea myself ;_;

Please do tell me what you think about it all :'D your reviews are what's keeping me sain these days!

See you next time!


	6. Lost in you

Hi guys :) hope you aren't too busy for a new chapter? This is really just a little extra... I felt like writing and I didn't mean for it to be so long at first but my fingers just flew over the keys so

I hope that you guys liked the last chapter as much as you enjoyed the earlier ones :) I didn't get many reviews but as long as you weren't disappointed I am pleased

Don't be confused by this chapter, just read and maybe it all will turn out understandable later ;) if not, you can always write and ask me about it!

[I'd like to remind you that my Beta is working on my spelling as we speak which means the chapters are not yet corrected ._. I really just want to post them as soon as I finish them so that you guys won't have to wait for ever :) I know errors can be a bother and if you do not want to read the chapter until it's corrected, just send me a pm and I will notify you as soon as they are without errors.]

**Warning!:** ATTENTION! OH YES THEY ARE GAY IN THIS CHAPTER! There will be some nakedness and some cute, confusing parts! BE HAPPY! :

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Hetalia... nether do I own any of the countries mentioned ;_; damn

* * *

><p>"What are you thinking about Arthur...?"<p>

"Nothing really..." he answered and crawled closer underneath the blankets, feeling hot skin against his own and shivering with pleasure because of it. "...just, if mother finds out..."

"She won't" the other one chuckled and gently let his big, warm hands sneak up around Arthur's slimmed waist, pulling him even closer. "I promise, and you trust me, don't you?"

"Of course I do" he smiled back and felt goosebumps down his back and arms as those warm lips got pressed against the sensitive bend of his neck. He could feel his entire body tensing when warmth enveloped him, making him feel so loved and comforted even though the rest of his life was completely miserable. "I just... you can't control her, she might suddenly pop her head into the room and say "WHAT THE FUCK?" and you know that..."

The other one laughed, which Arthur could feel through his own back, the buzzing feeling as if the other one was a bee and he was honey. Okay, no. He definitely wasn't honey. Maybe a flower...? _I have always wondered just how gay I am... _he then thought and laughed as well. _Now I have the answer..._

"She won't..." he then said and even though Arthur knew that might not be true, it calmed his nervous mind to hear the older one say that. "And if she did, I'd kidnap you and we'd be together forever in a cave somewhere..."

"Haha why a cave?" Arthur laughed back and sat up to turn and look at the other one, even though he didn't really want to leave those arms behind underneath the covers. "Why not some exotic island or maybe disney world?"

"Because we won't have that much money and even if we had, living in disney world would cause too much media to waltz around, you wouldn't want her to find us then, would you? That's why a cave"

"You really thought this through, didn't you?" he said while shaking his head and then reaching for the sealing. He even groaned as his back cracked but he didn't mind that the other one was looking or grinning as he did so. Not like he hadn't seen every part of him yet.

"Yup" the older one nodded after a couple of seconds and reached out to let his slimmed fingertips trace the outlining of Arthur's skin and muscles. "Been thinking about it ever since you kissed me..."

"HA HA" Arthur said sarcastically at that and pushed the tempting fingers away while frowning. "If I recall it correctly... YOU where the one who kissed ME, not the other way around?"

"Maybe you're right..." the man smirked and sat up as well, the dominant glimmer in his eyes even more tempting than the recent touch had been. Arthur looked away, because he knew that the other one was totally aware of how much that look affected him. "It was such a long time ago... I can't really remember who it was, just that it was fucking hot"

"Shuddup..."

Before the other one could reach out for him again, Arthur jumped out of bed and grinned at the disappointment in those eyes. It was quickly exchanged for a smirk though and he realized to his embarrassment how utterly naked he was right now. _Stupid fucking hard thing growing down there for God's sake... DOWN! _

He blushed furiously and hurried to pull his boxers on, feeling the blood rush through his veins furiously as he saw the other one still looking at him from the corner of his eye. He knew that sometimes he didn't really care what the other one saw and not... but there were times, those times when he could see the lust in the blue oceans belonging to other, he just couldn't stand being looked at like that. He just felt like he would melt and become nothing but a puddle that the older one could do what ever he wanted with...

_Fuck I want that... _he thought for a second and felt his entire body being drawn towards the bed again. _You're my obsession... my drug... don't fucking give me up for anyone... ever... please_

"What is it Artie...?" that kind voice half whispered and there he was, completely surrounded by those gorgeous arms again, unable to get away even if he had wanted to a moment ago. Why that was he couldn't even remember anymore. "You don't want to be close to me..?"

"Yes... yes I do..." he smiled back and closed his eyes as he felt warm lips agains his own, his body giving in to the warmth that once again spread through him. "There's no place I'd rather be..."

"Cliché... Have you said that before?"

"You're a douchebag you know that, don't you?" Arthur sighed and shook his head. Here he was trying to be romantic, all he ever got back was 'Did you perhaps steal that from a movie?' or 'Yes I feel the same for your mother, sorry kid'. And here he had though the other one would be a hopeless romantic...

"I try my best to be..." he got as answer and he wasn't even surprised. But it was charming too... it made him smile, the fact that he hadn't changed since they were younger. He still had the same bad humor, the same bad hair due and bright eyes. As if puberty never got him down or strangled him senseless. He was as careless as ever, and that was a good thing when it came to him. He was supposed to be like that.

Arthur himself..? Puberty had made him crazy, at least that was what his mother had told him the day he came out to her. She hadn't even believed him at first... She had never though that one of her kids would 'become one of those gay people' as she used to say. But after a while, more like months, she had come to understand that no matter how much she denied it, she'd eventually have to accept that Arthur liked dicks more than vags. For him it was so obvious that he did, it was hard for him to understand how she couldn't get it... After several scream sessions and 'I am so disappointed in you Arthur...' he finally realized he couldn't stay like this... So he had made changes. One of them; getting himself a boyfriend that HAPPENED to be someone really close to his mother's life and therefore, of course, he couldn't make it official. Weather that was a good or a bad thing he was still wondering about, but since his lover didn't seem to want it out in the open either, he could live with it, for now.

_As long as I don't need to live in a cave..._

After spending hours in bed, watching TV, his company had finally grown tired of it and let him go. Arthur spat to his legs immediately, even though there was slight pain in ever part of his body, and smiled as he received wanting glances once more. "You've had your fun" he declared and blinked with one eye as he smiled. "Now, let me go and make you some breakfast, yeah? I'll make what ever you want me to but only if you promise me you'll leave my body alone for a while?"

"Like you don't wanna go again?" Came the response from the bed and Arthur sighed before bending over to collect his clothes from the cold floor. "Just look at how you're tempting me Artie"

"Go to hell will ya?" he smiled back over his shoulder after standing up again and rejoiced as he received an air-kiss in return. "What do you want? For breakfast now, not in bed..."

"Fairy cakes!"

"Don't mock me..."

"I'm not... you said you could bake'em, now do it before I get mad at you" the other one chuckled and leaned his head in his hands, resting on his elbows while looking at Arthur with his big, blue eyes. "Chop chop, work your magic fairy boy"

"I'm not freakin Peter Pan..." Arthur protested before snorting impactfully and leaving the room, blushing as he could hear the other one laughing behind his back. "I'll make the best fucking cakes you'll ever have tasted you sorry ass son of a bitch..." he nodded to himself and hurried off towards the tiny kitchen already thinking through a recipe for his magic potion. "You'll see..."

It didn't take long before he was done. The lovely smell of newly baked cupcakes spreading through the entire house like smoke from a fire... no, what with these bad synonyms? The smell was more like... well the smell of the thing you like the most in the entire world, spreading through the house. Maybe... newly baked buns? But these where cupcakes...

"I love you Arthur..."

He froze in his thoughts and almost lost all feeling in his feet and legs, swaying a bit before slowly turning back towards the blond man with his eyes so bug he could almost feel them about to pop out of their sockets. "I..." was the only thing he could say before loosing the whole 'being able to talk' – thing. The other one just smiled and slowly took the dirty ladle from Arthur's shaking hand as if not wanting him to drop it.

"Don't look so fucking shocked, what did you think..?"

"I..." he tried again and had to swallow before being able to even collect the words together. "I didn't think really..."

"Like always then babe" the other one laughed and gently let his warm fingertip caress the softness of his cheekbone, letting shovers follow with it, down Arthur's entire back. "You're everything... everything I have, everything I need..."

He didn't know what to say, but he didn't have to. He relaxed as soon as the other one got closer, as soon as he felt those warm arms around him, as soon as he felt himself being pulled into that embrace... as soon as those hot lips made his head into a drooling mess and his legs into spaghetti. He wanted this, so bad it hurt when he was without it. He needed this man so much he couldn't sleep without knowing that he was sleeping right there next to him...

He blushed and let a slight moan escape when feeling those warm hands travel down the front of his tight jeans, pushing at the fabric as if it was the most natural thing in the world... to be doing this, in his kitchen...

"I'm nothing without you..." he heard himself say and cursed on the inside immediately, knowing how cheesy that must have sounded. But he didn't get a laugh back this time, only the glorious weight of the other one, pushing him against the fridge with more force than before, the ladle falling to the floor when neglected in the other's hand.

"I know..." came the whispered response... and even though Arthur would probably have taken that as an insult at any other time, he didn't now. Because it was the truth and nothing but the truth. Without him he was nothing. Nothing. Nothing at all.

...

"Arthur?"

He half died of fright as he heard her voice, somehow thinking that she was his mother and it gave him a fucking heart attack. He looked up, still in shock and breather out immediately as he saw he has just fallen asleep in the classroom, his chin rested against his arm on the table, his neck stiff as if covered with ice.

"Yeah..?" he mumbled and rubbed his eyes with the back of his hand, feeling how fucking tired he was without being able to do anything about it. The night had been fucking hard on him too... he might have told Al he had slept through it, but he really hadn't...

It was the girl from his first day at school. She hadn't spoken to him since then, and he hadn't really payed attention to her name but he had made sure to smile at her in the corridor, just to be nice. She had colored her hair darker now too, it fitted her better than that awful shade of almost ash-blond she had had before. She was smiling slightly, nodding towards the empty place next to him where no one ever sat.

"Sorry that I woke you..." she said hesitantly and bit her lip cutely, not meaning to though. She just was cute in general, but he suspected she hadn't heard that from many people.

"You shouldn't say sorry bout that..." he smiled and moved his bag so that she could sit there. "I was sleeping during class anyway, you just did me a favor"

"I guess" she nodded and her smile grew wider. The others weren't really paying attention to the teacher either though so he suspected the older woman had already given up on them all. That's what it looked like at least, since he hadn't been paying attention at all and now they were assigned to groups and do only God knew what. "Did you hear what the assignment was?"

He shook his head and grinned at her half worried expression. "Don't worry about it" he assured and pointed at the board where the teacher had written everything they needed to know down, before leaving them to their ruin. "I'm pretty smart so I'll figure it out..."

"I'm not..." she sighed, a bit dramatically but that was just cute on her. "I don't even know if I'll make it though math this year... and if I don't my parents will sooo kill me"

"Why?"

She shrugged and bit a little at the edge of her pencil, wrinkling her eyebrows as she was trying to read what the board said. "They just want me to do better in school I guess... but I can't do that when they're just nagging and nagging and nagging at me to do better you know..."

"Yeah..." he smiled and watched her for a while before quickly reading the instructions through. "My parents where like that too, until I moved here even... So I get what you're saying" He smiled at her when she gave him one of those half melancholic smiles herself. "Look..." he then continued and gave her a light thud with his elbow in the side. "Since we can do this assignment in groups, why don't you and me do it together? With my brains and your charms, we couldn't fail, right?"

"Really..?" Her eyes where shining happily, but there was something in her face, telling him that she was so scared tight now that he was only making fun of her that she could just as easily have declined the offer, just to spare her own heart.

"Yes, really" he chuckled and gave her hand a light squeeze, knowing his eyes where twinkling, because she was blushing now. "Now, go get your glasses from your locker, please, you look like your eyes are gonna pop..."

"How did you know...?" she whined and rubbed her eyes while squirming slightly.

"You gave yourself away, you tried to read the words up front but you couldn't right?" he smiled and tiled his head to the side so that he could see her face better. "Why don't you ware them? You have just the face that would go perfect with gasses after all..."

She blushed more and looked away, down at her books. "Nah... they don't like when I wear them..." she then said and bit her lip again. Now when he thought about it, she did that a lot, and you could see it on her lip. It was thicker on that side, as if she had created a lump there.

"What do you mean? Who don't like it? Your parents..?"

"No" she smiled and even though she looked sad, she managed to hide it surprisingly well behind her almost grey eyes. "The ones in class and stuff... there has been a lot of teasing you know..." she was nodding as she spoke, not really wanting to look him in the eyes as she told him, as if thinking he'd start too. "Lizzy" she then said and pointed a little at a girl in the back. "She stopped wearing her glasses a year ago, she couldn't stand it... so I was the only one left"

"You're saying that you really got picked on because of the fact that you need glasses?" A slight nod. "That's just childish..?"

"Maybe..." she said, not really sounding convinced but seeming happy that he had not started laughing at him.

"I get you don't want to use them in school then..." he sighed. "Ever thought of wearing contacts?" When she nodded but seemed like she was going to say something like 'they didn't work that well' he just nodded understanding and then smiled a little. "Then, I'll make notes for you, and you can read them when you get home, yeah? That way, I'll learn from writing it down and you can learn it when you can wear your glasses in peace... sounds good?"

With her nod he felt a slight weight lifting from his shoulders. At least he had a reason now, to study that was. He needed that because he was already behind and he didn't want to stay in school longer than planned. He then spent the rest of the lesson, taking notes and going through the chapter with her. He also made sure to se her name, written with cute little letters on her green note book and made sure he'd remember it this time. She seemed a lot more open after only a couple of minutes and told him about her kitten and her cousin who was totally hot and scribbled her cellphone number on a piece of paper for him as she spoke.

"So say Thursday, after school?" she asked as the bell rang and he nodded with a grin.

"Yes, Jody at half passed four outside the gates, check"

She laughed, her eyes sparkling in a way that made him want to smile as well. She seemed so much more on and happy now than she had been only an hour ago. Maybe he really had made her day, but he definitely knew that she had made his. His mind had wondered off too far away for his understanding that morning. Getting him caught up in lost moments and memories even he himself could not understand anymore. Memories that both hurt and ravished his mind in unthinkable ways, making tears clog up his eyes and blur his vision. She had made the thoughts go away again. Helping people did that to him, thankfully enough.

"I'm looking forward to it" she said and returned his smile again as he sent it to her. He nodded in agreement and she was gone, off to her next lesson as if she had never even been there.

_I like her... _he though and couldn't stop smiling as he started packing his things. _She seems to be the kind of girl that wouldn't mind having someone like me as her friend..._

He skipped off into the hallway, pushing the old thoughts and memories as far back in his mind as he possibly could, like always. He shouldn't dwell on the past, not now. Maybe he should tell his mother about her? But that would only make her hope that Jody was gonna be his girlfriend... fuck, that wasn't good. He had realized that when ever he had a friend that happened to be a girl... she had been obsessing about it ever since he came out. Even when he told her for the millionth time that he was IN TO GUYS she hadn't stopped, no. She got him away on a blind date with some local girl instead. Fucking embarrassing.

His phone buzzed and he checked it quickly, heart skipping a beat from both shock and some kind of moving nausea in the pit of his stomach. He shut it just as quickly as he had opened it and made a turn for the exit, needing fresh air as his eyes filled with those annoying tears again.

_I never thought you'd actually... _

He couldn't even stand up straight as he let the big door fall shut behind him. The yard was empty since the bell had rung when he hadn't been listening. The air was fresh and kind against his skin but the maddening nausea made him bend and sink down against the sounding board a couple of yards away. He needed to puke, or lie down... he couldn't stay like this but he couldn't move either. The phone was no use... he'd just see _that _again and then he'd definitely loose it.

"I wish I'd never met you..." he mumbled and buried his face in his arms and knees, gripping his cellphone harder than ever between his shaking fingers. "...I wish I would have seen straight through you... wish you could have just left me alone... I wish I didn't love you... fuck..!"

... ... ...

Finding students on the ground was not something Daniel was used too, but he wasn't really surprised either. Students sometimes ditched their work to go out for a smoke, but mostly he found them in pairs or bigger groups. He was more surprised about the fact that it was the new kid he had found this time, and that he seemed to be feeling worse than any kid he had ever seen drunk.

Daniel was not one of those annoying teachers who'd scream at kids he found out there, at least he liked to think that they didn't look at him like that. This time, it didn't take him long to decide that Arthur was not in any condition to get to class and as soon as he had helped the younger one up on his legs he brought the boy to the teacher's staff room.

When they where there, on the comforting sofa with a closed door behind them and two cups of tea on the table in between, he sighed and looked at the blond kid who looked even more lonely in here if possible.

"I'm not going to rattle you out to your teacher or something..." he tried and smiled gently, realizing soon enough that he might be sounding and looking like a psychologist so he stopped. The boy seemed to have pulled himself together somewhat though and smiled gently.

"That wouldn't be a problem even if you did" he said and Daniel tilted his head slightly to the side in wonder. "He seems awesome so I don't think anything horrible would happen even if you did tell him you found me in a puddle of my own misery"

"Ah.." Daniel nodded and scratched his neck, not really used to hearing students talking about feeling bad. "...Tom then, is it? Your teacher I mean" he quickly added when Arthur gave him a questioning look.

"Yeah..." he answered and drank some of his tea, looking a bit uncomfortable. Apparently he hadn't been prepared to be discovered in that vulnerable state and he didn't seem to want to talk about it either. Daniel had forgotten what he had wanted to say to him to cheer him up, he didn't even know how to take care of his own teenager so why should this kid be any different. There was just... something about him that reminded Daniel of himself somehow.

"Look..." he finally said and took some of his own tea before continuing, putting the cup down on the table and leaning forward a little, to take a better look at the young one. "I might be old and grey-haired... but if there is anything you'd like to talk about, just come to my office... Even though you don't really have my classes or anything. I don't want any kid to feel as bad as you seem to do..."

Arthur didn't answer but he was listening, that was for sure. His hands where gripping the cup with tea hard and his eyes where cast down into the light brown liquid. Daniel smiled a little, trying to cheer his voice up a notch not to make the younger one even more depressed.

"Come on" he said and tried to catch the other one's eyes even though it was really hard to get his head into the right angle to see them. "It can't be that bad...? Can it?"

Arthur looked up slowly, his green eyes glossy even though he was smiling slightly. "Depends on how you look at it..." he said and then drank some more. He looked so small even though his clothes said everything but. Daniel just couldn't help feeling sorry for him, even though he knew pity was the most horrible thing you could get while feeling bad.

"How do you look at it then?"

Arthur didn't answer immediately, he seemed to think about it for a while and before he had time to answer, the door opened and one of the female teachers entered, babbling on the phone with one of her friends. The moment was lost and Daniel knew it. Arthur had already put his cup down and was standing up, that sad smile still on his lips.

"Have you ever been in love with someone of the same sex, sir?" he asked as he passed, stopping for just a second to meet Daniel's eyes with his own intense ones. "I have, and when he left me.. I felt like this. Thank you for your time..."

With that, he left the room with his hands in his pockets. Daniel couldn't stop looking at the door after it had closed behind the young one. The female teacher didn't even seem to notice him sitting there. He sighed and poked a bit at the cup in his hands, smiling...

"So that's what it was..."

* * *

><p>WAIT WHAAAT? o:<p>

What was that in the beginning! WHO was Arthur with because that couldn't have been AL now could it? Since he was thinking about something that had to do with his passed? o: I am confused myself!

And who was that strange teacher anyway? Would any of your teachers take care of you if you seemed to be feeling bad? :/ That's a question all teachers should ask themselves...

Review and tell me what you think okay? ;) I NEED opinions!

hope you liked this little chapter too!


	7. She loves you

Hello again my fellow yaoi lovers!

I will begin this little pre-text with saying sorry for the thousand errors in this chapter but I am currently sitting on a bus on my way to see my bf so it's sort of a bumpy ride! 8D I realized before when I read some of the things I'd written that this might be though out the entire chapter and if it is, I'm so sorry! (L)

Things are progressing pretty slowly in this story but right now that's the way I want it to be :) hold on to it and you might get your long awaited hotness ;)

**Warning!:** This story is weird and has been confusing, some chapters have lemon in them and some do not :D if you don't like boy on boy action I can't even understand why you're still with me since this is chapter seven xD

**Disclaimer:** All rights of Hetalia belong to someone else ;_; and America belongs to Obama.. or something ;_; bye

* * *

><p>Al had been looking around for his cousin during lunch break but had been unable to find him. He didn't really know what to think about that really. Either, Arthur had made new friends and was sitting in the sun somewhere laughing, or... he was getting beat up somewhere where the sun did not reach. For some reason he wanted to believe the first but knew the second was so much more thinkable. However, he had heard form some of his buddies that they found Arthur both pretty cool and intimidating so maybe he WAS okay.<p>

He shook his head to get the unpleasant thoughts away and focused on laughing at Lauren's joke instead. She had been trying to make him laugh all morning, saying that he looked to sad these days when he didn't listen to her, so from now on she'd make him laugh at least ten times a day. He figured it was a way for her to feel that they grew closer to one another. And they did of course. No one else had really tried this hard to make him feel good before.

"So then I said to her that if she wanted to color her hair again, maybe she should go to a professional because frankly... nothing could get worse after that, even if you have an irrational fear of hairdressers." she giggled and met his eyes, looking content when he grinned widely back at her. That was the least he could do, even though he had not been paying attention to the whole story.

"She seems... like a nice girl" he then said and put his arm around her shoulders affectionately, enjoying the smile she then beamed at him.

"She is though, just a little daft I guess"

They had now suffered though the entire afternoon, except for the last lesson which was math, and even though he had been worried since lunch, Al had tried listening to her stories as much as possible. She was so cute when she was cheering him up, laughing and smiling as if there were no problems in the world. She had been drawing little characters and cartoon bubbles on both their books, on the benches and her arms as she spoke. Writing their names and drawing them both in cartoon form. It was super cute but he didn't really get why. She must get something out of it though, otherwise she wouldn't do it after all.

"By the way..." she said as they took their seats in the classroom, her hand sneaking up around his upper arm as she leaned her head against his shoulder. "My parents where talking yesterday, about inviting you over for dinner... this Thursday?"

He could feel the blood leave his face immediately and his skin prickling at the back of his neck. Meet her parents? This thursday? He wasn't good with other people's parents, especially not like this. Not that he had ever tried but just thinking about it made him feel dizzy and cold. He knew Lauren's parents where very strict when it came to who she dated and he had dreaded this day would come... maybe that was one of the reasons he hadn't wanted them to be official just yet. It was hard to tell really why he felt this way but... He swallowed hard and could feel his face growing colder as it grew paler apparently.

"T-this Thursday..?" he asked and cursed inwardly when he couldn't get his voice to go steady even for such a short question. She seemed to get it though. Maybe she had known all along that he didn't want to deal with parents.

"Yeah..." she answered and clenched her grip a little around his arm, seeming to regret that she even said anything to begin with. "They said they heard about it from one of my teachers the other day, I said you might be too busy though so if you really don't want to I understand okay? You can just tell me and we'll forget the whole thing..."

He could hear the slight panic in her voice when she spoke, and the disappointment too. She probably wanted him to meet her parents in some way, telling him that he didn't need to was like saying he didn't need to kiss her when she leaned forward. She was just trying to make him feel comfortable... Even if it meant her sacrificing something for him that she actually wanted.

He smiled a little and gently placed a kiss on her brown hair and leaning a little back against her cute frame. "What time do you want me to be there?" he then asked and smiled even wider as she looked up in surprise at him. "And what's the dress code? Cause if I need to be wearing nice clothes I'll have to by something"

She giggled and the happiness spread through her face as quickly as ever. He liked that, the feeling that he had done something good for her, something that made her happy. He was sure meeting her parents would be worth it. At least if he was really going to give this relationship a serious try. He was going to grow up one way or another and this seemed like the best way to go at the moment.

... ... ...

"Hey cousin!" Arthur called as he saw Al walking towards him over the school yard. He didn't really care that everyone looked up as he called, and it made him kind of happy that Al didn't seem to mind either. "You seem to be in a good mood today, anything awesome happened?"

Al just chuckled as he came closer and they both started walking towards the bus together, side by side.

The talk with the teacher earlier actually had made Arthur feel a bit better, even though they hadn't talked a lot really. He had come to like this school today because of the fact that he had gotten some contacts that he knew he would need in the future. Bonds with people that he knew now that he could talk to. Earlier it had been Al and Tom, the psychology teacher. Now he had Jody and this Daniel guy, which actually has seemed pretty cool. What other teacher would help you like that? Especially since Arthur wasn't even his student.

Breaking down, like he had earlier, always helped him cope with it too, his problems that was. After breaking down a little, he always felt better, like easing some of the pressure that had been building up inside him. Seeing one of the girls in class cry about a broken nail had also helped him, his problems didn't seem so big compared to hers... Ha ha.

"Lauren invited me home on Thursday..." Al suddenly said and brought Arthur back to reality. "...to meet her parents for dinner..."

And there it was again, the stone in his backpack that Arthur thought he had gotten rid off. He smiled though and swallowed hard, to make the suffocating feeling go away as quickly as possible. "That's a big step mr." he said instead of kicking and screaming, grinning as soon as he saw the slight horror in the corner of Al's blue eyes. "You sure you're up for the challenge?"

"Not at all..." his cousin sighed but there was still a slight smile twitching at the side of his gorgeous lips. "But she got so happy it will be worth it, so..."

"Sounds like a good enough reason" Arthur agreed before hopping onto the bus, looking more cheerful than he really was. Thinking about Al being happy with someone else was a pretty hard thought right now, but seeing him happy would also be a good thing... kind of. It was not like he was in love with the guy or anything. He just... wanted him. A lot. Oh not again.

He sat down quickly, not far off in the back since there were a lot of Jocks hanging there and even though he knew Al would probably be wanting to sit there, he couldn't see why he should. To his slight surprise Al however seated himself next to him with a grin and ignored how his football buddies called for him. When Arthur gave his cousin a raised brow the younger one just chuckled.

"I thought I'd sit with you for a change" he then said and buffed at Arthur's shoulder with his own. "I mean... you're a thousand times more fun than the others anyway"

It was interesting how a little thing like that could seem to make everything better at the moment. A lot could get him down, but as soon as Al made some kind of joke or was just plain cute, everything became so much more colorful than just minutes ago and Arthur even forgot that suffocating feeling.

As they laughed and joked the entire way home, he did think about the fact that he might be manic-depressive, at least it seemed like if for the moment. He went so quickly from being happy to being sad again that maybe he should talk to someone about all this... He had always used a diary to talk to... maybe it was time for him to start talking to a friend or something. He was sure he could always use Jody for that. Not that he was looking forward to it. But he needed to get his feelings out... Seeing how just a little spill had made him feel so much better, imagine how it would feel when it all was out in the open.

When they got off the bus, the rain was pouring down over them and they both laughed as they ran up the drive way to get into the shelter of the house. Arthur could feel all his clothes soaking in seconds and as soon as they where inside he pulled his bag off to save all his papers and books for meeting the same fait.

"And all you think about is saving your boring school stuff and not your cellphone?" Al laughed and started undressing so that he would be able to hang the clothes to dry on the handrail next to the staircase.

"Shit!" Arthur half giggled and pulled it from his pocket, not looking at it when the screen flashed to remind him that he had a message. He put it on the small drawer next to him and then made sure not to look at his cousin either. Because he was half naked already...

"You boys sure came home early today?"

They both lucked up in surprise at Al's mother, who was looking at them from the entrance to the living room. She was neatly dressed, not like she usually was at home, even Arthur could see that. She looked like she was wearing quite a lot of make-up too, almost as if she was going to go to a party, though you could clearly see that she was not used to wearing it. She had a bit too much on and she had smooshed the mascara while rubbing the corner of her eye.

"What the hell mom..?" Al seemed embarrassed, seeing her like that and he hardly looked at either her nor Arthur when speaking. "Are you going to a masquerade or something..?"

She sighed and looked beat down for a second but apparently did not let his comment get her happy mood down. Instead she looked at Arthur, as if Al wasn't even there. "I have been on a job interview" she then said and beamed happily when he returned her smile. "And I found out I got the job! Yay"

"Congratulations Diane" he managed to say before she embraced him and he hugged her back. She smelled of perfume and hairspray, clean clothes and wine.

"I'm going out to celebrate, but I trust you two to take care of the house and all while I'm gone" she giggled, obviously a bit intoxicated by alcohol. Al just nodded and hugged her back too, not at all looking like her wanted to.

"Is there any dinner...?"

"Yes dear" she nodded and grabbed her purse as soon as they all heard a car drive up in front of the house and honk its horn. "And by the way..." she was already holding an umbrella and had her shoes on when she stopped in the doorway to look back at them both, him in his wet clothes and Al only in his pants. "...Your father is upstairs, you might want to get some food into him, or else he'll starve I'm afraid"

With those words she left them again and it struck Arthur how little time he really had had with her. He hardly knew how old she was or her middle name (and for Arthur that was the interesting parts about older women, the only interesting parts). The thought left him though as soon as he turned his eyes to Al and realized the younger one was looking terrified.

"What is it..?"

"Nothing..." was the only answer he got and even though Al looked like her was about to cry, he seemed to collect himself fairly quickly and soon, everything was back to normal again.

The food she had left them was not very good but they ate it anyway. Al spoke about some waco teacher that had messed his entire day up and then about how cute Lauren had been when she tried to cheer him up. "She really is a Cheerleader..." he said while looking dreamy and Arthur laughed.

After dinner, Al left him for a while to go up with some food for his father and it didn't take long before he was back. "You want some tea, don't you?" he asked while still hurrying down the stairs and Arthur could see he was pale, but didn't comment on it. Instead he nodded with glossy eyes and fake drool-face.

"Sooo..." he cousin then said, as they crawled up in the sofa with tea and cookies and Arthur looked up in surprise. "Tell me more about yourself my dear cousin... I bet life here is so boring compared to your life in Britain right?"

"Why does everyone here think that England is so much more fun than here?"

"Because everyone here knows how boring this gets in the long run..." Al answered and chuckled drily. "Besides, your life must have been pretty different from ours... even if you yourself don't see it as something extraordinary... we do cause it's a cool story."

"Well..." Arthur smiled and warmed his hands on the cup as he spoke. "I live with my mother half the time and my father half... they got divorced when I was twelve and even though they say it's cool to everyone, they both blame my weirdness on the fact that they split up"

"See? You're already more interesting than any other guy at school"

Arthur chuckled a little and shook his head before continuing. "I have a stepbrother and not many friends but the few I had used to tell me to stop sticking out so much. I ditched them..." he paused and drank some tea, his throat always got so damn dry while talking about home. "...My mother's name is Christa but I bet you knew that already. She always talks so good about you guys, you and your brother I mean, which makes me sound like a total dick..."

"Sorry about that dude"

"Stop interrupting me all the time!" He waited until Al had both stopped laughing and apologized before he continued. "And she always tries to... see through my 'problem' as if it never excised and..."

"Sorry, but, your 'problem'?" Al mimicked and looked slightly confused. Arthur got confused too because he thought it had been pretty obvious..?

"Yeah? You know, the way I am?" he answered and got an 'oh...' back before continuing where he left the earlier sentence. "...and she thought that if I saw a psychologist or something I'd 'get better' and stuff... she really just cares about me and such, can't stand her though. She is a weird woman."

"So in short..." Al said and chewed a little on his lip, trying to look as if though he was thinking things through, even if it was kind of obvious that he wasn't really. "Your mother thinks that you are a useless bastard who should do so much more for the family than you really are, and she would take the first possible chance to change you if she could?"

"Pretty much, yes..." he nodded back and sighed as he leaned back in the sofa. He was glad to be here because even if Diane obviously had a lot in common with his own mother, at least she didn't hate him and his... ways. Not yet at least, which was refreshing.

"Dude, my mom's the same..." Al groaned and made a face of horror which just made Arthur laugh and almost spit tea over the entire table. "Oh how my mother wished I was more like Matt, seriously... Matt has always been such a momma's boy, a real pain in the ass... though I love him. He's so dense he doesn't even notice himself that she loves him more than she loves me, hah!"

"I don't think she loves you less though..." Arthur said weakly and blushed a little when Al looked at him funny. Maybe he should stop with this whole 'I understand women' thing? It didn't exactly make him look any cooler and Al seemed to thing he was weird for it. Still, he kept going, otherwise it would just have been awkward. "I mean... you're her son and she loves you... but maybe she thought you'd grow up to be different you know? I'm not saying there's anything wrong with you" he quickly added when he saw a glimpse of hurt in those blue eyes. "But maybe she just wished you two would have more in common? And believe me, all she wants to really do is spend more time with you anyway. She wants to be the one you come and talk to when you're down, the one you cry for and spill your heart out for..."

"But she knows I never do that..?"

Al seemed slightly confused in a cute, funny way and Arthur smiled tenderly. Nothing would ever happen between them, but seeing him like this sure made he wish that maybe some day, when they were older perhaps...

"Yeah that's the thing Al..." he answered and then looked around, pointing at a baby picture of Al next to the TV. His small fingers pointing in every direction and a big, toothless smile shining through the frame, blond hair even thicker than it was now and those blue eyes so big he almost looked like a girl. "When she got you she was so happy and everything was perfect... you laughed and played with her and your brother, wanted her to join you on the floor when you pretended you were in a jungle and was hunted by lions? But as you grew up, you grew away form all that, away from her..."

Al bit his lip, a bit harder than he should have and Arthur could see a tear building at the corner of his right eye. Of course he could not really know if it was from the pain or the guilt that the younger one was already feeling. What ever it was, it made Arthur regret that he even said anything in the first place.

"And that's nothing to feel guilty for or anything like that, jeez... I wouldn't want to be playing on the floor with my mother even if I got money to do it..." he chuckled and scratched his neck. "And mothers don't ask for it, they just go around feeling bad about it, not really knowing the cause of their depression themselves... Wouldn't that make you do idiotic things too?"

Al seemed to be thinking for real right now, before nodding in agreement and looking over at the picture. "But.." he then said and looked back at Arthur, if feeling bad, he surely hid it well. "...how come you know things like this? You're not a mother are you?"

"You daft?" he laughed and shook his head. "As if I could have hidden that from you? You've seen my dick for fucks sake?"

"You could always be transgender?"

"Oh shut up"

Al just smirked in his usual way and Arthur gave up trying to see if he was still feeling bad. This young man was quite the master a hiding his feelings behind that smile, making it look completely believable and real, even if that might not be the case.

"My mother told me..." he said after watching that smirk for a while, now sounding a bit more serious again. "When I came home late one night, I was fourteen.."

"What did she say now?" Al asked, looking confused since he seemed to have partly forgotten what they where talking about. But Arthur didn't have to answer because Al remembered within a second with an: "Oh right... sorry"

"She was pissed off that I hadn't called her to tell her I was going to come home late..." Arthur continued, trying not to think too much about what he was saying because getting emotional right now didn't at all seem like such a good plan. "Which I had but her cellphone had been shut off and I couldn't remember our home-number... anyway. She was pissed and started screaming at me that I needed to think through my life if I still wanted to live in Her house"

"She was going to throw you out?" Al asked in surprise because this he had not at all heard about Arthur apparently. He wasn't surprised though because of course his mother had never told Diane anything bad about him. She WANTED him to come to the US and stay with Diane's family so she couldn't ruin those chances with telling bad things about him, right?

"Nah she just said she would" he assured with a smile. "She didn't like the person I had become, she said and she was crying too... She said she wanted things to go back to the way it had been and I was so fucking shocked that she even said that... I mean, go back to how things used to be? When? When I was tiny and sucked on her tits?"

"Ehw..." Al groaned. "Probably?"

"We had like a major fight that time and she told me what she had been dreaming about when she found out she was getting a son and yada yada..." he sighed and rubbed his forehead slightly. Even talking about it gave him a headache. "AND she told me that sometimes she wished that I was just a tiny little boy again... and that she could be my best friend again, because apparently I told her she was when I was about three..."

"Adorable..."

"Oh yes..."

They fell silent and Arthur felt his head throb even more. His mother had really been mad that time... Gosh, he hadn't though about this in so long. That's when he had screamed at her that he couldn't stand the fact that she hated him so much. That she was so mean because she couldn't accept the fact that he was gay, which she had answered 'It's just a phase! You'll get over it and then you'll be a laughing stock to everyone you've come out to!' Man they had been childish back then... at least she didn't say that anymore, that it was just a phase. But she was still thinking it, at least she thought she was.

"What happened afterwards?" Al asked after a while and you could hear clearly in his voice that he wasn't sure if he should ask.

Arthur shrugged in return and drank some more of the tea to by himself time. "Nothing much... she pretended nothing happened the day after and ever since, I found out a couple of weeks later that she was pregnant... And don't get me wrong, I love my little brother, but when ever I see her on the floor with him, whenever he tells her he loves her, I know she got him because of me... because I don't tell her stuff like that anymore."

"Sucks..." his cousin sighed and wrinkled his eyebrows. It was charming whenever he didn't know what to say. "How old is he now? Your brother I mean..."

"Ehm..." Arthur blushed and counted on his fingers quickly. "He's turning four at the end of this year, I think.. Or was it next year? He is thee... should be."

"What's his name again? I know mom told me about it but I can't really remember cause she always tells me about things I never listen to" He excused and drank some tea again while Arthur watched him with a soft smile.

"Peter... "

... ... ...

Before they knew it, thursday grew with the soft smell of wet asphalt hanging in the air and grey clouds threatening to tare down earth as they walked from the school bus up to the school grounds. Al had made Arthur swear that he would help him pick out some clothes he could wear at the dinner later and Arthur had made sure that Jody would not be sad by inviting her to go with them after school.

First they had to face the horrors that the day would bring however and they took separate paths as they entered though the main doors, not to be late for any lessons. The corridors where noisy as always and both of them felt tired for different reasons.

Once again, Arthur had had trouble sleeping and even though the madras wasn't even hard, he had felt as if he was lying right on the floor, tossing and turning like crazy.

Al, on the other hand, had slept, but dreamt hideous dreams about Lauren's father being close to the Devil himself and her mother having fangs like a viper and claws like a giant bird. It had all ended with Arthur waking him, all pale faced wondering what was wrong. At that moment, Al had just felt like crying. Mostly out of relief that it was over.

Arthur had assured him that he had been awake the entire time and that his sleep had not been disturbed by the grunting Al had made him his sleep but the younger one had chosen not to believe him at all. Arthur had been looking far to tired for someone who claimed he was not tired at all, besides... he knew how little Arthur had slept the passed days, he just couldn't believe that he would never go to sleep.

When he now spent his day thinking about Lauren's damn family all the time, he tried to distract himself in several ways, which all failed eventually. Sadly enough. When they were going to have sex during lunch break, he was so distracted he came without warning and she was mad at him for an hour about that. He tried drawing but realized he needed his glasses to do that so he gave up. He even tried to text Matt to see if he had time to text back but got nothing in return and finally, the only thing that really DID distract him from the dreadful evening that lay ahead was the thought of a naked Arthur in front of him. Though, that didn't really give him the shocking reaction he had been hoping for and he had spent the rest if math laughing at himself.

When the boring school day was over, he met up with Arthur and his new friend outside the gates, greeting them with a bright smile and a knot of nausea in his stomach, nervous was something he did NOT like to be.

"Me and Jody have been thinking by the way.." Arthur said after they had gotten through introductions without much trouble. "Lauren said that you should just wear something nice, right?" Al nodded and Jody smiled.

"Then we think you should just get a new shirt or something, and maybe a neck tie... because your pants are looking good on you today, at least that's what we think" she said with the brightest smile ever and Al marveled a bit at how bold she was. She wasn't the kind of person you'd think would enjoy talking to him without giggling like crazy.

"Sounds good enough for me..." he nodded and Arthur seemed to be relived by this. He was probably looking forward as much to this as Al himself, and he didn't look forward to this at all.

After spending almost two hours looking through stores and outlets, they finally bought a shirt with matching tie, plus some flowers as a gift for her parents. It had been a lot more fun that Al had feared, since the only one he really had gone shopping with was either his mother and sometimes Lauren, and you can imagine that to him, none of them made it fun.

"I think he is ready" Jody said with effect when he came out from the bathroom and into his room, dressed in the new clothes. He had pulled a comb through his hair as well which he himself thought looked ridiculous but she seemed to like it. "You could almost take you for a nice guy Al" she giggled and he could she how Arthur did the same where he sat behind her.

"Very funny" he mumbled and looked at the flowers in his hand as his stomach turned again, violently.

"But seriously though" Arthur smiled and got up. "You look good in these clothes Al... you should ware stuff like this more often." His cold, slimmed fingers reached up to correct the tie around Al's neck, just to make it a bit better, and his smile was genuine. The kind of smile Al could trust. "You're gonna wow them Al, don't look so terrified"

"But I am terrified..."

"She loves you Al..." Arthur smiled and the words caused storms in his mind immediately, like a tornado over calm water. "She won't give you up even IF you screw up... you have nothing to loose here. And if they really love their daughter, they'll see what an awesome guy you are..."

"You think..?"

"I know so Al... Now go out there and show them your awesomeness, yeah?" his cousin chuckled and pate´ted him lightly on the shoulder. The touch was well needed because Al felt as if though his nervous butterflies would soon lift him off the ground if no one held him down.

"Go get them tiger!" Jody smiled as well and tilted her sweet face to the side. "We'll be here when you come back, if it's not to late because then I won't be here... anyway, we'll be here so if there is anything, you know where to find us, kay?"

He nodded. It felt as if though he had known her for so much longer than he really had, just like it felt with Arthur. He had thought that that had been because they were related or something because before him, he had never met anyone her felt so at ease with. Jody however was like that too. The first girl he really didn't feel like he needed to impress... She would be an awesome friend do Arthur and he could see it already. Or maybe more than a friend because they had sure seemed friendly back in the store...

"I'll leave you two love birds then" he joked and took a mental picture of Arthur's adorable face as he blushed like a tomato. "I'll call on my way home or something? And Jody, make sure to take care of my cousin, okay? If he burns the house down, my mother will blame me"

"You can count on me Sir!" She happily declared and put her hand to her forehead in salute.

"Good bye Artie" he said over his shoulder as he walked out the door. "Be a good boy now"

"Yes..."

There was something in that voice that made Al want to turn around and see the expression on the older one's face, but he didn't. He had to hurry now and if he didn't, he'd be late and even he knew that wasn't a good thing. So he hurried down the stairs and sighed slightly at the sound of his bedroom door closing and Jody laughing at something Arthur had said.

_Jeez... I wish I could be in there too... stupid dinner._

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><p>Oh boy :( poor boys<p>

they seem to have problems both of them that need to be solved... it's a good thing though that Arthur opened up to Al, don't you think? ANd yes, I'm a girl so I like to talk about feelings : (L)

How do you think it will go one the dinner with Lauren's parents? And what will happen between Jody and Arthur? O.o Is it as Al thinks..? or is he too gay to even see her in that light? ;) find out in next chapter!

And YES I am so happy about some of you who were guessing that Francis is Arthur's passed lover ;) We'll see if you guys are right or not ;D


	8. I was born this way

Hello you guys! SO sorry I have not updated in like forever! ;_; I have been very bussy with work and getting my life to stick together xD haha

anyway! Hope you're looking forward to this chapter! :'D

Still sorry for the errors in this chapter as well, my beta has not had time to go through it, I AM TOOOO QUICK! :

**Warning!:** THERE WILL BE LEMMON! sooon... I promse... not yet maybe but the one who waits... ;) will be rewarded

**Disclaimer:** No one in this story is min... yes well the OCs are mine but not the ones from APH ;)

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><p>His knees had been shaking the entire way up the driveway and his fingers had done the same when he reached for the doorbell. Lauren had opened and as soon as he saw her happy face he tried to remind himself that, even though he felt like he'd pee himself from nervousness, it would be worth it in the end. To see her happy.<p>

"Come on in" she giggled and he blinked, pulling his eyes from her cute face and beautiful dress. It really did a lot for her curves even though it did not reveal a thing. He had never seen her in a dress like this, white and innocent. She was very pretty indeed. "I told them you where scared so dad promised he wouldn't interrogate you or anything..."

"That's reassuring..." he mumbled and stumbled as he tried to take his shoes of with grace, which was impossible. The tie suddenly felt very tight around his neck and he reminded himself to kill Arthur when he got back home for trying to strangle him from a distance.

"Al, this..." she said as they stepped into the living room; a very homy room with two smaller couches and one armchair, a table with glasses on and a pair of smiling parents. "...is my mom and dad, mom and dad, this is my boyfriend Alfred"

He wanted to puke. And did she have to use that name? He sounded like an old man from Sweden or something?

"Nice to meet you both" he said instead and shook hands with both the woman and her husband. They didn't at all look as dangerous as in his dream but he could have sworn the man gave him a look that said ' you better not be fucking my little daughter' for a second... but when the moment passed he thought that maybe he just have been imagining things again.

Lauren's family seemed to be just like any other really. Her mother was gentle and sweet, spoke with a smile every time she mentioned her daughter, not at all like the monster he had imagined after all Lauren's stories about her. But all teenagers exaggerate when they talk ill about their families after all. Her father seemed to be a bit strict but liked the fact that Al had good grades and had a brother that studied abroad. He seemed genuinely interested in what kind of person Al was, instead of accusing him of stealing his daughters innocence. If he only knew.

"And what do your parents do, Alfred?" he asked as he was drinking from his glass with whiskey, the ladies in the kitchen next door, preparing dinner. "You must have gotten your good genes from somewhere, am I right?"

Al chuckled slightly, beginning to relax slightly now since the first wave of nausea had left him. "Well, my mother has been working several jobs for a while, but now she has just been hired somewhere, a couple of days ago to be exact and I haven't really had time to talk to her much about it I'm afraid..." he smiled apologetically and drank some of his soda. "My father works in construction, but he studied to be a lawyer when he was younger..."

"And why didn't he continue on that path?" the older man asked curiously and Al felt a flicker of pain go though his stomach before answering.

"I think it had something to do with him changing? He wanted to do other things with his life and being a lawyer would have gotten in the way of that... at least that's what he said."

"I see... I hope that you're not the kind of person to give up on your dreams Alfred, you seem like a bright kid after all"

"No, I am not the kind of person who quits" Al agreed and smiled a little again as he got a reassuring nod from the older. Impressing parents when you didn't have much to impress with was hard. But he'd do the best he could of course.

...

"Ahhh I'm so tired..." he complained and Jody laughed a little as he sprawled himself on top of Al's covers with a groan.

"You look like my cat when you do that" she said and pushed her glasses further up on her nose, looking like a complete nerd, so adorable he had to laugh a little. She didn't mind though, he had assured her that she was perfect and that her glasses were awesome.

"Can't we do something else for a while?" he begged, looking like a sad puppy instead and whining slightly. "We've been studying for hours now and I really need to concentrate on something else before my head melts..."

"Fine..." she sighed, trying to look annoyed even though she was smiling. "What do you want to do then? We already had tea and cookies?"

"Can't we just... talk or something?"

She looked surprised at his suggestion and tilted her head to the side as he had realized she did a lot. "A boy that wants to talk about stuff, that's something you don't see everyday, I can tell you that."

He had realized that she was actually a really smart girl when she tried. When you were alone with her, she was so patient with you, caring. She listened to him and his thoughts about math, took in everything. She wasn't at all as daft as he had thought the first time he saw her and he felt stupid for even thinking that about her. Apparently others had done it before him though and she had million stories about guys trying to treat her like a dumb blond...

"I might not be like all the other boys then..." he sighed and he knew she could see the pain in his eyes, so he looked away. It was stupid and mean of him to want to talk about things with her... that was about the only reason he had wanted to have her as a friend in the first place anyway, because he could see in her eyes that she could listen.

"I know you're not..." she smiled and gently took his hand on top of the covers, squeezing it softly with a smile on her lips. "Of course we can talk if you want to? I've always wanted to have someone like you to talk to so I'd love to actually"

He laughed a little, just on the brink of not laughing at all. It was only like a fain chuckle and as he felt her hand tighten around his fingers he knew that as long as she was the one he spoke too, he'd be okay.

"You know..." she spoke up again and let her thumb rub the back of his hand gently. "I know there is something getting you down, I can see it, okay? So just say it and get it over with, for your own sake... cause it's much easier to deal with when it's out there you know.."

"Ehm..." he started and scratched his neck with his free hand, not wanting to look at her even she was looking for his eyes. "Fuck... haven't told anyone about it in ages, don't know how to even start..."

"Just say it, I won't judge you... not even if it's something about drugs or being an alcoholic or something"

The smile in her voice was reassuring and he took a deep breath as he smiled too, looking up at her with his green eyes feeling dry and itchy. "I.."

"Just say it Arthur..."

"Well, I'm.. you know... gay?"

The smile in her face became even more apparent and she nodded, even giggling slightly. "Not like I didn't already know that idiot" she then said and poked at his nose with a soft fingertip, eyes shining with enthusiasm. "I see how you look at him you know, it's a wonder that he hasn't noticed yet himself... stupid kid."

He was in total shock and could do nothing but nod a little at what she was saying. He couldn't believe that she had taken it so well. No one had ever... Not that she seemed like a person that would care that much, but still? This was America? His mother had said in the beginning that no one here would accept him right away... damn she must have been so wrong. He really shouldn't have been listening so much to her.

"You don't think he knows..?" he then asked and felt his heart sink slightly as she shook her head.

"He is too daft to notice I'm afraid..." she sighed and looked sad. "And all this, doesn't it hurt you?"

"I'm not in love with him Jody" he half laughed and wondered slightly why the fuck it felt so wrong to say those words. "I'm hard for him, because he is fucking gorgeously hot and I want him to fuck me, that's what I feel" he laughed at her shocked face and then smirked at her blushing cheeks. "If anything but horniness, I feel jealous of Lauren... who he is already fucking every day"

"Oh... I see..." she blushed and then hid her face in a nearby pillow. "So... you want him to... you know... hnn.. eh..?"

"Put his dick inside my ass...?" he asked back and tried to pull the pillow away as he spoke, which was impossible since she just gripped it tighter and squealed at his words."Yes, and other places of course"

"Stop it!" she laughed and buried her face even harder in the pillow. "You're making me embarrassed!"

"You where the one who was asking Jody"

"But I didn't think that you would answer so frankly!" she half whispered in a squeal, which made it almost impossible for him to hear what she was saying underneath the thick fabric and stuffing. "I'm not used to people talking to me about... stuff... like this!"

Arthur laughed again and lay down on the bed, stretching out as he spoke. "Well, get used to it hun... cause I talk about sex all the time"

...

The dinner was calm and nice. Lauren's parents where not as scary as he had thought in the beginning and the food was pretty good too. It was low fat though and he preferred hamburgers... Lauren's mother had made some sort of salad instead of cooking potatoes for the meatloaf and even though the flavors where really great together, he was already missing Arthur's wonderful breakfast and his mother's mac'n cheese.

"So Lauren tells me you have a younger brother too?" the older woman smiled and put some pees in her mouth, watching him with the same kind of eyes Lauren had. Now that just made everything awkward... It was hard not to think about sex when seeing Lauren, since their relationship had always been based on just that. But seeing this woman, looking so much like her daughter...

_So this is what Lauren will look like when she is thirty plus...?_ he thought and suddenly his stomach turned again. _Girls become so scary when they grow up... _

"Yes..." he answered instead of letting him think any further than that. "He lives in Vancouver at the moment since he wanted to go to school there, my family thought that since I didn't want to go any special education, he could... and we have some friends there too so if something happens, he'll be fine"

"So he is the promising one then?" Lauren's father joked but even so, Al could see that the question was asked for a reason. He knew he needed to give a good impression for Lauren, because this meant a lot to her. But he didn't like the fact that her father wanted to make him look like an idiot...

"Not really." was his answer before he drank some of his soda, wishing that he had some alcohol about now. "He's always been a bit daft, but we love him anyway and he deserves as good a chance as anyone in our family"

"I see"

It seemed as if though Lauren and her mother had formed a pact, saying that if the mood ever became somewhat awkward, they would change the subject immediately, because they did so as soon as the silence fell, talking about the school now or something.

Al was eating and smiling as Lauren met his eyes but soon he was distracted by a buzzing in his pocket and pulled up his phone quickly. "I'm sorry" he excused as he got up to answer it in the other room. "I've got to take this"

"Hi brother!" came the happy voice of his younger brother from the other side of the line and Al breathed out in relief in the hallway where he now stood. He had thought something was wrong but now as he realized Matt was only drunk, he knew everything must be fine after all. "How is it hanging between your legs mr?"

"What kind of question is that?" he half laughed, half whispered back and made sure he was not being followed by Lauren's father or something before continuing. "Are you drunk Matt? I sure hope you didn't call mother because she'd freak and you know that, right?"

"Right, yes yes!" the younger one sighed and then laughed at something someone else said in the background. "I called though but cousin Arthur answered! He was suuuuper funny and told me all about himself! I wanna seee him sooooon!"

"Awesome, look Matt" he sighed even though he was smiling slightly. It wasn't that he was really worried about his brother, not even when he was drunk, but he was a bit scared of the fact that their mother would find out sooner or later. And when that happened... well, let's just say she had the best of ways to make life miserable when finding out things like that. Al had learned it the hard way... "I'm at Lauren's place, here to eat dinner with her parents so I can't really talk right now, on the phone I mean"

"I know I know" the other one laughed and Al could hear happy voices singing in the background now. "I just wanned to tell you I fucking love you bro!"

"I know, I love you too Mattie..."

"Ann it doesn't matter that you're gay dude..! I love you the same anyway, remember that!"

"Shut up Matt, go to bed or something before you make a fool of yourself."

"Yes boss!" his brother almost screamed on the other side. "Then I'll go color my hair now! Good bye!"

"Wait? What..? Mom will kill you if she finds out you have col-... Matt? Hello?"

The line was dead and he felt his stomach turn. Damn drunken kid. He collected himself slightly before walking back into the dining room again, he couldn't look all upset and confused when he had to be a good boyfriend... Lauren looked slightly worried when he came back in, but he smiled reassuringly and told them all that that had just been his brother, wanting to get some help with a math problem. That seemed to be taken well by the two parents and he felt good about himself for being such an excellent lier.

...

"Soooo... Truth or dare?" she giggled and stuffed her mouth full with popcorn, spilling half of it on the madras but he didn't mind even though he was the one who should be sleeping there soon.

He took his time before answering, picking only the popcorn that were big and looked fluffy, poking at his teeth where some of the brown corns had gotten stuck when he chewed. "Truth again" he then answered and laughed as she rolled her eyes at him.

"You're such a bore Arthur! You should become a professor or something..."

"All professors are boring then?" he chuckled back and threw some popcorn her way. Since she had rolled over to her back, they mistakenly got caught between her breasts and she laughed while blushing.

"Anyway..." she continued after calming down and drinking some soda. "I wanna know... if you've ever... hmmm... I mean, hmmm... Have you ever made out with a girl?"

"Yes..."

"Oh you've gotta tell me more about it than just a 'yes' Arthur! You don't fully understand the rules of this game..."

"It seems I don't.." he smirked and then turned his eyes to the bowl of popcorn again. "It was once, me and my ex we... well, hm... he dared me to 'find out if you're really gay' and he had me kissing a girl he knew..."

She blushed but turned back to her stomach to look at him. "He forced you to do it? That doesn't sound like such a nice guy..."

"He didn't force me... it was a joke, like 'truth or dare' almost..." he protested and was careful not to meet her eyes as he spoke. "And besides... I wanted to know what it was like, if it was any different you know? Like... did her lips really taste like cherry chopstick and does girl's have softer lips than guys in general..." She nodded in understanding at this and bit her lip, as if though the thought had crossed her mind as well.

"Did it then?"

"Nah..." he replied, now he was the one with the blushing cheeks. "She smelled like alcohol and tasted like tobacco... like a lot of guys, she did have pleasantly large lips though... but my dick didn't even tingle the slightest"

She giggled and nodded again, closing her eyes softly as if in deep thought for a moment before speaking. "I kind of get that..." she said and nodded while talking, even though she kept her eyes closed. "I kissed my ex friend once... she was suuuper hot and everyone wanned her you know, like all the guys... and she kissed me cause she was told to during a game, she was a good kisser"

He laughed a little and smiled as she looked up at him again. "Why don't you know her anymore? I mean... you said ex friend so..."

"Hmmm... she came out as gay a couple of years back, and I was fine with it, but her girlfriend didn't like me very much" she giggled, even though he could see there was sadness in her eyes. "I guess she thought I was some kind of threat to her, anyway, we lost contact after they had a major fight"

"You should contact her again" he suggested and reached out to pat at her head. "Since that was a long time ago, I bet you could just talk if through and become great friends again, yeah?"

"You know so much about women..." she sighed as if in bliss and he laughed. "You're not even into women and still you know more than any guy I've ever met"

"That's cause unlike many guys, I take my time and get to know the women I meet"

"Maybe you should teach other guys that as well, that would be awesome..."

Only half an hour later she left for home, looking sad when he followed her to the door and hugging him hard before stepping out on the porch with an 'I'm so glad you came here and ended up in my class..' before walking away, waving from the side of the road.

"I am too..." he mumbled and closed the door, only to open it again after putting his shoes on and stepped out on the lawn. The air was cold but he liked it, the smell of rain reminded him of home. It was that kind of home-feeling that he liked, nothing reminding him of his mother or anything, just of London. Beautiful London.

He sat down on the stone bench, which the Jones's for some reason had placed underneath the half dead apple tree. He suspected no one had ever been sitting there, or at least not the past couple of years, but he liked the spot.

It was calm now, since the cars had stopped driving passed the house the later it got, there were hardly any sounds, except for a couple of disorientated birds singing as if it was morning already.

"You pretty confused too..." he smiled at them and shook his head slightly. "Aren't you?"

He breathed in deeply a couple of times, closing his eyes, enjoying their frail company. Before long, he was laying down on his back on the narrow bench, smiling pretty happily in his solitude. Being alone wasn't always good, but when he chose to be, it was a total bliss. The cold air against his skin made him even more relaxed and he drifter away slightly, sighing with memories and feelings.

_I remember when you used to lie like this with me..._ he thought and drew in a deep breath. _Back then, it wasn't at all lonely like this... you were always babbling in my ear after all..._

"Arthur?" Al's sudden voice came as if out of nowhere and he almost fell off the bench in confusion. He must have fallen asleep because he hadn't even heard the other one walk up the driveway or anything. He sat up quickly and must still be looking pretty confused since his cousin laughed at him before taking a seat next to him on the bench.

"I must have fallen asleep..." Arthur excused but Al just smiled and nodded.

"Yeah, I saw that..." he said and then looked out over the darkness in front of them, both of them falling silent for a while.

"So..." Arthur then said when suddenly realizing why it was that his cousin had been home so late to begin with. "How did dinner go? Did they half kill ya or what?"

Al chuckled drily, looking slightly bitter and scratched his neck. At first, Arthur thought that this must be a sign of it all going to hell but as his cousin started talking it turned out the dinner had actually been pretty much to his liking. Lauren's parents hadn't killed him, nor laughed at him, which was a good thing. He seemed to have felt a bit like a poor bastard though, when talking to her father though and Arthur smiled a little when he saw the embarrassed blush on the younger one's face.

"You're gonna get married into a rich family there, ey?" he joked and rejoiced as the young one blushed even more. It was hard to see the color on his cheeks in the darkness around them, but he could see it on the way Al pulled his shoulders together slightly and turned his face away.

"Don't you dare make this bigger than it is..." he almost whispered and looked up grumpily as Arthur gave him a soft shove with his elbow in the side. "...I don't even know if I like her enough to even say I love her or anything..."

"Relax kid..." he just smiled back and looked back up into the sky again. "you're at the age when you should be playing with it all, yes... some guys meet the love of their life and end up getting married at a young age... some meet the love of their lives and get dumped, crying their eyes out until the find the next one..."

"Aren't you talking about girls now?" Al chuckled back but quieted down when Arthur gave him an annoyed eye since he wasn't done. "Sorry... go on then..."

"Anyway... you can think that you've met the best person ever and that you will always be together, but believe me, there is always more than one true love out there for everyone..." He paused and made sure his cousin was still listening. "If you don't feel like you can give her the fantasy she wants, then you shouldn't keep being with her... I know she's gorgeous and that practically everyone else in school wants to be with here, now weather they want to fuck her or make love, I have no idea. But even if she is gorgeous, you can't just do what everyone else expects you to do you know...? Just because you're super gorgeous and all, doesn't mean you need do be with her to live up to some kind of expectations that don't even make you happy in the end..."

Al looked even more surprised than he had been expecting and Arthur shut up for a second. Apparently, his cousin had not seen the whole thing in this light before. But Arthur knew he was kind of right this time. Al had to wake up and realize that even if he might be having a blast at the time, the longer and deeper he got into the relationship with this girl, the harder it would be for him to blow it off if that thought ever crossed his mind. If he really DID want to love her, he had to work on that too of course... he just needed to think a bit more of what he himself wanted.

"Look..." he then said and leaned a bit against his younger relative, his hand poking slightly at the other's fingers before he realized how gay he was acting. That didn't stop him though because, according to Jody, Al didn't even know he was sexually interested in the male gender, in him. "...If you don't wanna talk about it with me, that's fine... but I'm gonna be here for a while and you better understand that I'm here to listen to you... I just think that if you really really like her, you should stay with her and treat her like a queen..."

"And if I don't think that's the case..?" Al asked back before Arthur had time to finnish and Arthur felt his stomach knotting into a hard ball. He felt bad for the girl, who had this gorgeous guy by her side that didn't feel about her like she thought and like she felt. He did feel bad for his cousin too though, maybe that was because they were related or something... but going through this must be a bit hard on him too.

"If you don't think you can live up to what she wants, even though I am sure you could if you just wanted to..." he sighed as answer and shrugged. "...you should tell her as soon as possible and maybe... just take some time off from the whole 'relationship' thing... maybe you just need to be you for a while? Do what ever you feel like..."

The younger one sighed beside him and Arthur could feel him lean back against him. He didn't say anything for a while, none of them did. Instead they just sat there in the silence, looking up at the night sky. Arthur felt his stomach grumble and his back hurt a bit. Somehow he wished he would have just told Al already, about being gay... (Since he clearly hadn't gotten the hint and probably never should) because what if Al was bisexual or something? Maybe he would consider...

_Oh stop thinking like that! You're gonna kill yourself of you keep thinking you'll get sex within these next couple of months..._

He smiled instead and sighed too, Al wasn't gonna talk about this anymore that was for sure. "What do you say to us going inside and take a midnight snack? Maybe watch some TV so that you can focus a bit on something else for a change?" Al nodded with a smile that looked like a thanking one and without further due, Arthur took his hand gently in his own and stood up, leading the way back to the house. The younger one followed obediently and he couldn't stop himself from smiling a little. Al really was cute after all. Especially when he looked so much like a little brother, like now...

He made some tea as Al stepped into the living room. Both of them where tired but none of them wanted to sleep for at least an hour or two. When the tea was done and some sandwiches placed on the table coffee table in front of them, Arthur relaxed on the couch with his legs facing Al, back to the armrest with a tired smile on his face. He could see his cousin watching him, even smiling as he did but he didn't really mind it. Maybe the younger one was just happy that he had someone there for him now, that was older and not that bad to talk to? When some cheesy movie started, they both laughed and started watching without saying much, just exchanging looks when the actors were so bad you could just kill them or when the music was overdramatic.

_It's nice... _he thought and chewed slowly on the delicious sandwich in his hand. _Just sitting like this, letting the hours go without really caring what happens next. Can't remember the last time I just relaxed like this..._

"I like it when you're around..." Al suddenly said, sounding like he was going to fall asleep at any moment and Arthur looked back at him, finding those blue eyes so much more awake that he would have guessed. "You calm me down and all, makes me feel like maybe I'm not really just a dick on the inside..."

"Likewise..." he smiled back and breathed out when Al did the same. He'd looked awfully serious right there. Arthur didn't much like it when people he cared about looked as serious as if they where going to tell you they had AIDS or something.

"Thank you for hating your family and coming here" the younger one then chuckled and poked at Arthur's foot, just to show that he really didn't mean the thing about hate.

He just smiled back and nodded. Al was kind, even though he didn't quite know it himself. He might even bee thinking of himself as the one who'd always hurt other people but that was not the way it was going to go down for him. One day he'd find the person he really wanted, someone who truly brought out the good parts of him and showed them to him with a smile. Someone who even loved the arrogance he could portray and kissed the bad temper out of his troubled mind... and that person, who ever it was, would be really happy to have found someone like him.

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><p>Awww... wasn't that sweet? :')<p>

I have a plan for all this fluffiness so don't you worry ;) hope you liked the chapter and that you'll feel the urge to comment and tell me so! ;)

See you next time, yes?

Chu /Codes out


	9. Father

Hi you guys! Sorry once more for the really late update and I hope that you are still with me? (L) I just want to thank you all for the support I have receved during these weeks of no update and hope that you are pleased with what I have now written :D I am already working on the tenth chapter so hopefully, it will all work out with future updates now!

Still, there should be some spelling errors in this chapter, since I have not had the time to show it to my beta... but I hope you will like it just the same :)

**Warning!:** You just have to wait a little longer but sooooon there will be cocks and sperm all over the place ;) don't worry, I haven't forgotten about it!

**Disclaimer:** All rights belong to the creators of APH and for them, we all are extremely greatful!

Hope you like this chapter! :D _  
><em>

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><p><em>Dear Arthur, <em>

_I know you have told me you do not want to see me ever again and even though I respect that, you know I cannot accept it. You do not have the right to cut me out of your life like you did and you certainly don't have any proof that I did you as wrong as you say I did. _

_Come on Artie, I know why you moved away and do not even try to deny it. But how do you really think it made me feel when I had to find it out rom your mother that you suddenly moved away to America? I was even planning to come visit you and tell you how deeply sorry I am for everything that has happened between us but... How could I get the money or even get close enough to you with the little I have, when you are so far away from me as you are now? _

_Arthur, my love, you hurt me so much when you do this... and I know you. Are you doing this because you want me to come crawling back to you? Because I don't know how else you can even look at yourself in the mirror after what you have done. You have to grow up, and you know it. It should be about time that you realize that you have to be the one who changes... because you cannot change anyone else but yourself. And you know what happened in truth is your own fault. _

_And Arthur, make sure you write back to me. Because if you don't, I'll just have to come there myself and talk to you, no matter where you are. _

_Francis. _

Arthur was clutching the letter hard in his hand as he made his way through the corridors of the quiet school building. He was breathing heavily even though he wasn't walking quickly at all and his hear was pounding so hard he thought he might die at any moment with every breath he drew.

How could he think he had the fucking right to write to him after all this time? Why on earth would he say things like that AND as if that wasn't bad enough... He had blamed Arthur for it all? He had known all along that it would all break eventually and that his peaceful life, the life he had here, would fall apart at the other man's feet but like this... through a pathetic letter written on equally pathetic paper that smelled strongly of Acqua Di Gio...

The letter felt like it was cutting into the skin of his palm as he tightened his fist around it but the pain there was better than the feeling which bubbled deep down in his gut. He didn't want that feeling and he certainly did not need it. He had been doing fine, fine! He didn't even know how to handle things like this anymore.

_Because if you don't, I'll just have to come there myself and talk to you, no matter where you are. _

"My ass!" he spat and bit back on the angry tears. _You have no right to even SAY you're gonna come here you cologne-stinking son of a bitch! Because all of this is your fault to begin with! And I know you know it... just as much as anyone else..._ But he hardly believed his own thoughts and words anymore. How could he when he had been told for so long that he was the cause of it all. That it had been his fault everything broke and got smashed to pieces.

"So what is it about?" Jody asked when he met up with her outside the building where she had been waiting for him. They had both decided to skip the last classes so they could talk about the letter, which Arthur had been clutching in his hand all day. Jody had looked so worried when she asked him that he had melted momentarily in his anger and promised to tell her after school ended.

"I got a letter from my ex..." he grunted and looked away as he saw her eyes widen. She didn't ask though, just stayed quiet and waited for him to continue. He liked that so much about her. "He is literary blaming me for everything that happened, told me that if I didn't write back, he would come here and find me..." he continued as they walked down the street a couple of minutes later. He had waited to make sure no one from the school heard him before starting of course.

"Can I see it?" she asked with her forehead wrinkled and he handed it too her with a sigh. He then spent the time she needed to read it with watching the gravel he kicked up with his feet as he went. He was almost fearing the moment when she was done and would open her mouth with questions and accusations. "I'm sorry" she said instead as she looked up from the wrinkled paper. "but he really doesn't seem like a good person at all, this Francis guy..."

"Tell me about it" he nodded, casually, even though he felt his stomach tightening by the very thought of those blond curls and that deep voice chuckling next to his ear. Because, to be honest, Francis had been very nice... for a very long time too. They way he spoke to Arthur as if though there was no other person more beautiful than him in the world. But if that had just been for show, he would probably never know. Francis denied ever lying to him of course, but who said you could trust that man? Arthur at least, could not.

"Did you come here because you two broke up though?" She suddenly asked and he looked up in slight shock. He hadn't thought that was the question she would be asking. He then shook his head and bit his lip because he knew he was kind of lying now.

"I wanted to come here long before we broke up but since he could never move here, I never even brought it up. Somehow I thought he cared about me, somewhere deep down in his pathetic body..." he grumbled and kicked at a stone just to get some of his frustration out. "But when we had broken apart... I saw no bloody reason why I should stick around at home. I mean, I had nothing to look forward to? As much as I love England... No matter where I went, I couldn't escape my mother's looks and constant wishes that I would just magically turn straight. And then there was the fact that all the friends I had where also friends with Francis. Which in truth meant I had no friends anymore... So I just... dropped the bomb on my mother and after she had cried for a while, she called Al's mother and they arranged he whole thing..."

"What did you tell Francis then? When you went?" she asked and bit her lip in the cute way she had started to do lately when she was thinking. "Or was it like this, that you didn't tell him a thing?"

Arthur felt the knot on his stomach grow with the question but he swallowed it down along with the tears and the anger. "I didn't tell him, but you know... he treated me like shit and we had broken up months before that. Should I have told him, would you have?"

She looked back at him and realized she had said something he had taken as a bad thing because as soon as she spoke she shook her head and sounded sorry. "No, of course yo shouldn't have... I mean, I just... I wouldn't have told the fucker either you know?"

He nodded and reached for her hand. She completely misunderstood and tried to hand the letter back to him but he just shook his head and pushed it away, reaching for her other hand. When she finally got it, she smiled and put the piece of paper into her pocket before wrapping his cold fingers inside her warm palm.

"I know..." he smiled and walked closer to her, feeling more at ease now than he had done ever since he had found the letter on the kitchen table where Al's mother had left it for him to find. The smell of the perfume had struck him as soon as he stepped into the room and he had for a moment thought that Francis was in the room. The smell nauseated him to the core. "I didn't mean to accuse you or anything... I've just been told for so long that everything is my fault and I guess, after a certain amount of time with people telling you that, you start believing it yourself"

"You really shouldn't think that about yourself though..!" she said with effect and poked him in the side with her elbow, eyes worried but a smile playing on her lips. "You're a wonderful person Arthur, and I'm gonna tell you that until you realize that yourself! You should find someone you can be yourself with you know... someone who can love you and cherish you in the way you deserve."

He could feel himself blushing as she spoke and looked down slightly so that she wouldn't see, even though he knew it was totally obvious. "Thank you Jody..." he then said and gripped at her hand before putting a soft arm around her shoulders. "It means a lot to me..."

...

"Al what's the matter?"

He didn't hear her, he was somewhere else and he didn't even register the fact that she was calling his name from somewhere beyond the void. He wasn't even aware that he was lying on the couch in their living room, naked underneath her while she road him. She, on the other had, was perfectly aware of this fact. She was also completely aware of the fact that he wasn't there with his whole mind.

"Al!" she hissed and hit him hard in the face, bitch-slap style and immediately he spin back to reality with a shocked expression and panting breath. He quickly fought back an annoyed 'What?' when he realized that he deserved it.

"I'm sorry..." he mumbled instead and looked down a bit, just to realize that he was staring at her boobs and she wouldn't like that. So he looked up again.

"What the fuck Al?" she was already jumping off of him and before he knew it, she had her underwear on and was pulling on her pants as well. "I can't believe you, you know that? You tell me that you wanna have a romantic evening here or what ever and first we order pizza, then you think of something completely different during sex? What is wrong with you?"

He kind of felt hurt, hearing her say it like that. He hadn't been the one who suggested pizza after all. She had been so hungry when they where on their way back from school that he had eventually bought her a pizza. And then, when they had come here, he had realized the whole place was empty... and since she had always wanted to fuck in the living room for some reason, well... now they were. Or had been at least. They had had fun before they started too, watching a stupid movie which they both laughed at and eating the fatty pizza together but...

"Lauren..." he tried and sat up, naked as he was, on the sofa, looking at her with his blue eyes. "I know you're mad but can we talk about this? I mean, can I explain?"

"There is nothing for you to explain Al" she hissed with her brown eyes colder than he had ever seen them. "You can fantasize about what ever the fuck you want when we have sex Al, I have told you you can, but you don't have to go and be all fucked up? Fucking feels like I was the only one in the room and it creeped me out..."

He sighed and leaned his face down in both palms of his hands, pulling a little at his blond hair as he pulled his fingers through it. "Look, Lauren," he then said and stood up so quickly he felt like fainting for a few seconds, but she was too busy to put on her shirt to even notice. "I've had a rough day and I'm so tired of it all, please, cut me some slack...? I really am sorry?"

"Yeah, sorry for being somewhere else when I'm supposed to get fucked by your cock that is.."

"You're being unfair Lauren!" he interrupted and shook his head, afraid he might even start crying from desperation. They had been having fights like this the passed few days and since he knew she was taking birth control pills, this couldn't be just PMS. "What is it exactly that you're so mad about, huh? You're the one who have been yelling at me like I'm your useless husband or something... gosh..."

She looked slightly taken aback by that statement and opened her mouth just to close it again like a fish on land, no words really reaching out. He shook his head and pulled his boxers on, his fingers shaking and his cock hurting now where she had left it semi-hard against his stomach. What was her problem anyway? It was not like he had been thinking about something in particular, or even thinking about another person. Why would he? Even though she had given him permission, who the fuck would he think about other than her? She was gorgeous and everyone was jealous of him getting her in his bed... yeah, because that was kind of the only thing he thought about when it came to their relationship. There wasn't much else.

"Well then..." she said and folded her arms over he chest, watching his every move as he was dressing his body. "Do you know what they say about you at school Al?"

The question took him of guard and he looked up, with his right sock in his hand. "What do you mean 'say about you'?"

She chuckled drily and looked down at him before he broke eye contact to be able to put the sock on without falling over. "They say..." she continued as he still felt her eyes burn through his neck. "...that you and your dear room mate are seriously fucking each other..."

Al couldn't stop the chuckle that left his throat at the absurd statement and he looked up at her immediately, eyes feeling like they would flood with tears when he laughed. "And you seriously listen to that crap? Come on Lauren, I thought you where smarter than that?"

"Do you blame me though?" she asked back, blushing from embarrassment and it was obvious she wasn't that mad anymore. She knew Al was a pretty bad lier, in front of her at least, and since her 'he's lying'-vibes didn't go off, she must be feeling rather bad about the whole thing. "You share a room with him, he is gay and checks you out all the time, plus I heard he had like an intimate conversation with our psychologist teacher the other day and have had ever since he got here... and we all know that man is at least bi curious."

Al looked at her with questioning eyes before he grinned and shook his head. "Seriously though Lauren, I didn't think you of all people would be the one to believe in rumors? AND yes I so happen to live with him, but he is my cousin and if he had been gay, he would have told me Lauren. But he hasn't so, he isn't. You really shouldn't believe all you hear... I thought better about you in that department."

"Al, you must be blind if you won't see how gay he is..." she sighed and sat down on the sofa. For the first time sounding more sad than anything else. "What if he is just too shy to tell you? And since he might be attracted to you he is scared to get you running from him?"

"Lauren..." he said as he sat down next to her, smiling a little as he did so. "He even speaks with me about you, I get to tell him what ever I want and he listens and gives good advice. I don't think he'd know women if he was gay, at least not know them as well as he do... I know him, and he would have told me. And he knows me so he knows that even if he where to tell me something like that, I wouldn't run"

"Then, what if he has feelings for you? What if that is the reason why he won't tell you?" she said, sounding matter-of-factly even though he could still hear that tone of worry and even anger lingering in her voice. She WAS talking about her boyfriend and a potential threat that he was living with after all. "Would a normal guy just walk up to a girl and tell her that he liked her if he really did? Not that it's the same thing but still... if he has feelings for you, of course he won't tell you he is gay..."

"I'm done with the subject Lauren..." he sighed and gave her a soft smile. He didn't really like her reason for being a bitch towards him these last couple of days, but it was a better one than her just being mad at him for no reason at all. This seemed to mean that to her, he wasn't just a good shag anymore... she had truly started to care. "There is nothing between me and Arthur, no matter if he is gay or not. So you can stop worrying so much about it and start realizing that the only reason I dozed of was because I was tired, not that I was fantasizing about having sex with a guy or whatever it was that you thought.."

"I'm still mad at you though..." she protested slightly but then leaned agains his shoulder with a sad look on her face. "I'm so sorry... but... you just mean a lot to me. And I'd hate it if you kept things like that from me you know? I mean... yeah you could be sleeping with someone else and all but, I'd want to know it from you and not from someone else on the street..."

"I know" he nodded and put a soft arm around her shoulders, pulling her closer to him while breathing in her soft fragrance. "And I promise I won't lie to you about things like that, ok?"

"Thanks..."

It sounded like she was going to fall asleep just moments later and he couldn't bring himself to wake her up and tell her to go home. She had said she'd told her parents she was sleeping over at a friends house anyway so it should be fine if she spent the night. It was already late so they both should sleep really. He wouldn't be able to carry her from the couch either, she was easily woken and to be honest, he'd enjoy getting to sleep alone in his bed if he didn't have to take her there. Lauren was an animal in bed, even when she was asleep. It was almost impossible to lie in the same bed as her which he had experienced a couple of times, waking up as he hit the floor or got kicked between the legs.

So he softly moved out from underneath her, placing her cheek against one of the pillows instead of against his shoulder. She looked so sweet when she was asleep, you couldn't at all think that she would be the bitch she was when she was awake. God, he really had to take lessons from Arthur in how you understand women. He didn't get her at all.

Speaking of Arthur, where was he anyway? He had been out with Jody after school, that much he knew from a text he had gotten around third period when Arthur had just simply told him so. The fact that his cousin didn't bother to wait until school ended wasn't a shock to him so he had simply thought the older one would be home about eleven like he usually was. But the time had rushed away and it was nearly half passed two in the morning. Was there any need to worry about what might have happened to him? Or was he simply spending the night without texting and telling about it?

Come to think of it, Al's mother hadn't come home yet either... so she had probably found a man to shag, as if Al didn't know she was seeing other men than her husband. He didn't blame her for it thought.

He sighed and took a soda out of the fridge, drinking it slowly while looking out the window with a small feeling of hope in his stomach that Arthur might be coming home soon. He felt a real terrible urge to talk to him and they hadn't seen each other since this morning. Al wasn't stupid either, he had seen the look on his cousin's face when they had found that letter on the table... but he hadn't had time to ask before the protective wall around Arthur's feelings had come up and just minutes later they had had to run for the bus. He wanted to ask about it now, see if the other one was doing ok, if there was anything he could help him with...

And then there was the homosexual thing Lauren had been talking about. It wasn't as if he hadn't heard it from other people too, it was just, hearing HER say it made it sound so much more real than all the others. Them he didn't care that much about, they could do what ever the fuck the wanted and as long as they didn't hurt anyone physically, he could live with it. But Lauren he knew and she didn't listen to rumors like that, and she certainly didn't carry them through unless she knew there where truth behind it all. And she said you had to be blind not to see how gay Arthur was? Al trusted her gay-dar almost as much as he trusted his own dick to get hard when it had to, but Arthur? Gay? He couldn't believe a rumor like that unless he heard the verdict from Arthur himself...

_Get a grip Al..._ he thought and drank the last of the soda with a half grin on his lips. _Not that it matters if he is gay or not, I'll like him no matter what... That is what he needs to know... _

He nodded to himself and put the empty bottle on the counter before heading up the stairs for his wonderful bed._ The love of my life... _he chuckled inwardly as he took one step at the time, before just running down again, giving Lauren an eye to make sure she was still sleeping before he could fully devote himself to the pillows.

...

Arthur closed the front door softly behind him and took of his shoes with a bit difficulty. The house was silent apart from gentle sounds of sleeping from the living room and when he poked his head in to see who it was that had fallen asleep in front of the TV, he smiled at the sight of Laure, curled up in the sofa like a kitten.

After taking a glass of water, he quickly hurried up the stairs to the bedroom he and Al shared and started kicking his clothes of as quietly as he could. He was in such a need for the bathroom that he could have pied himself right there on the madras, which made him blush when he thought about it. He constantly threw eyes on his younger cousin to make sure he was not too disturbed by the noises he made or that he would wake up when Arthur was standing there naked. He didn't. So it was with a relieved sigh that he left the room, wearing nothing but a blanked around his waist to cover up his goodies.

He really needed a shower since he had taken a jog all the way here from Jody's house when he realized the last bus had gone. He didn't much like being alone and gay on the streets this time of year. Once, in England, he had gotten stalked for an hour by a creepy guy who later turned out to be a pedophile who had been raping young men. Just knowing that he had even been seen by that man had given Arthur the creeps and he did not plan to actually GET raped like that. So he'd rather run than walk in the middle of the night.

The warmth of the water made him drowsy and his limbs relaxed more and more the longer he stood in there, just closing his eyes and leaning his forehead against the cold wall. Jody had told him about a friend of her's who might be bisexual that he could talk to if he wanted to have some fun in his life. He didn't know what to think about that but of course the thought had driven him slightly mad... To be honest, he was a quite sexual being and not having sex for a long time made him hard for almost anything that had a cock and knew his name. He chuckled slightly and looked down at his throbbing erection with playful eyes.

"You really don't know when you should stay down, do you?"

He didn't much like jerking off in the shower though, but sometimes you had to do what you had to do and this was one of those times. The fact that the water made everything so much more rough didn't seem to bother him that much this time, which was good for a change and as the war drops hit the sensitive skin, he gasped for air even though he tried his best to keep quiet. It would be fucking embarrassing if he suddenly let out a moan and woke the whole house.

He chuckled blushingly at the thought and gripped for the wall not to fall over at the bolt of excitement rushing through his body. His fingers knew what to do but his mind was betraying him with thoughts he shouldn't be thinking, both good and bad... Thoughts of Francis and other people, thoughts of the man sleeping next to him every night, thoughts of rough hands caressing his skin, making him whimper in pleasure and extreme need.

Seconds later he bit down on his lip harder than he ha predicted, breaking the skin as white, steaming liquid splattered the walls and brought a dense smell of a mix between earth and something tangy which he could never fully describe. He quickly washed the wall off with water and then made sure he washed himself properly before stepping out of the shower. He was blushing, both because of the warmth, the fact that he had cum and the fact that he wished to God he had not woken anyone up with the last moan he had let out.

He hurried to pull his boxers on, which he had brought with him into the bathroom and then made his way through the small corridor to finally join his sleeping, gorgeous friend in the bedroom... when he suddenly heard the creaking of a door and jumped several feet in the air.

"Who's there..?" a deep, slightly helpless sounding voice came from the door to the room Arthur had never been in and he felt a jolt of nervous excitement at the whole situation. He had never seen Al's father, only heard him through the door. Now he was standing there, wearing a dark robe, tied loosely around his waist and slippers on his feet. He looked tired and outworked, but Arthur knew it was the drinking that had made him that way... He looked younger than he had expected though and his eyes where keen under the deep blond, almost light brown locks of hair which fell softly into his eyes.

"It's just me, uncle" he said, in an attempt to be polite even though he spoke as quietly as possible. He was standing right outside Al's door and would easily wake him up if he wasn't careful. "I just went to get a shower... did I wake you?"

The older man looked at him as if the words took some time to sink in and then he shook his head slightly, pushing his hands down his pockets while letting his dark eyes play over Arthur's face. "I'm always awake at this hour..." he then said, his voice sounding as if he had screamed for hours at an end without having any tea to drink in between.

"Do you want some company then?" he asked without really knowing himself why he asked. This was his father's brother after all, not that they at all had much contact but still. He knew this entire family was ashamed of this man, that much he had understood from the hushing and whispering around the bedroom, and the fact that Diane was seeing someone else or whatever... But he didn't care that much right now. He ha lost all his tiredness anyway and felt sorry for the man standing in front of him, wondering how lonely he must be when his entire family detested him.

Those dark eyes seemed to lighten up slightly at the proposal and the man nodded, stepping out of the room while pulling a hand through his hair. "Maybe you should get dressed though?" he remarked at Arthur's naked torso and he could feel himself blush.

"Right..." he said and scratched his neck slightly. "I'll... It'll just take a minute..."

The man nodded and leaned back against the wall, watching the floor as Arthur hurried into the bedroom and slipped into his PJ's. Better to wear clean sleeping clothes than the smelly clothes he had been wearing during the day. When he was done, he gave Al a long look without being able, or wanting to hold back a smile at the cute state of him. He was lying, curled up and entwined in the blanket, mouth half open and the pillow tossed down on the floor. He really was just a child when he was sleeping.

"There is a girl sleeping on the couch downstairs..." he said when he had closed the door behind his back again and the man looked up with a surprised look on his face. "Is there anywhere else we can be so that we don't need to wake her?"

"In my study..." his uncle nodded and led the way down the stairs, Arthur following close behind. With a quiet word he let the older one know that he was going to make some tea first and then went into the kitchen. His stomach was fluttering, wanting to jump out of his gut at the feeling of actually seeing this man and talk to him for the first time. He almost dropped the cups when he carried them through the room and into a smaller one right next to the living room, but a big hand came out and took one of them from him to save both him from burs and the cups from smashing.

"Thank you..." Arthur mumbled while blushing and took the renaming cup in a steady grip, sitting down on the small sofa which was placed along one of the walls of the room. You could see that even though it had been cleaned in there, the room could not have been used for years at least. The carpet seemed to never have been used even though you could see the markings of where the chairs had been standing for a long time, the computer looked better off and had probably been used from time to time but it was an older model and nothing fancy about it. "I hope you like tea?" he then added and shifted slightly in his seat, trying to get his tired eyelids to stop wanting to drop.

"Yes" the older one, Michael if Arthur remembered correctly, just answered and took a long sip, looking slightly blissful as the hot liquid slid down his throat. "Yes, tea is good... best late at night too"

Arthur nodded, not really knowing what to say or how to come up with anything to say to this man, even though he was kind of sure that he really wanted to talk to him for some reason.

"You know" Michael suddenly said however and Arthur stopped in the middle of drinking, hot tea warming his lips as he waited for the older one to continue. "You remind me a lot of the way your father looked when he was you're age..."

Arthur grinned and nodded. So he had heard, both for good and bad to be honest. The man on the other side of the little table they where sitting by, grinned too and there was something pleasant with him when he smiled like that. Michael must have been a very handsome young man once, just like Arthur's own dad, and it showed in people like him. Especially when they smiled, which both brothers seemed to do a lot less than they should.

"He was the rebel too, but I guess you already know that?"

"Yeah" he replied and drank some more tea to calm his own nerves. "My mother keeps telling me that I'm too much like him and that I should calm down... but she did marry him so I don't really see what the problem is with that I am like he used to be?"

"Well.." Michael laughed, and it was even pleasant to see and hear him do so. It seemed he hadn't laughed for a while and his face broke into the happy grin still with ease. Suddenly there were happy wrinkles at the side of his deep deep blue eyes and his teeth glistened between his lips. "..your father used to get into all sorts of trouble you see" he continued after taking a sip of tea from his cup as well. "I was always the calm one to begin with, my brother was the one getting me into trouble. Not that I minded since every minute I spent with him was a blast"

Arthur nodded with a smile. He could see that could have been the case. His father had used to be a very good one back when Arthur was younger. These days he just never seemed to be home anymore and he strongly suspected there would be a divorce coming up very soon, if his mother didn't just sit down and tell him how she felt about him being gone so much. For all he knew, his father might be having another relationship at the side... But hearing about him from when he was young, made him get new images of his father.

"He was four years older than me, still is of course, if you didn't know?" Michel continued and Arthur only nodded, not wanting to say anything to get to know more. "He was more handsome than me too, which was obvious since not that many girls swooned about me as they did around him, but I guess he just had that thing about him..."

"Yeah, I know that feeling..." Arthur smiled and thought about Al in all his handsome glory. Maybe he had inherited that from his uncle in England, or maybe it was something you had to create with self consciousness and handsome smiles. "Your son is just the same"

The older man gave a soft chuckle and nodded before drinking more of his tea. Arthur couldn't stop watching him as he did so, studying the way he looked so much like Al and still not at all. There was a calmness about the man in front of him that he had not thought there would be. From what he had heard from Al and his mother was that the older one was a totally jerk... not this calm and smiling kind.

"Al has always been the center of attention" Michael smiled, and even if he didn't look up to meet Arthur's eyes, he could see the melancholy in his expression. "Always craved for everyone to see and compliment him on what he does... probably because he didn't get as much attention that he deserved as a kid, with his younger brother getting born and my problems..."

He sighed and Arthur nodded, looking down at his soon-to-be empty cup. He wished there was something he could say to this man that would make it all good again. What if he'd just go to rehab? What if he could solve everything with his wife and be the husband she had married and the father both Al and Matt deserved... their lives would change so drastically for the better that they wouldn't even be the same family anymore, but the would be happy. But how do you tell someone else's father that he had to get a grip and don't fuck his life up anymore? Another person's father that you didn't even know..?

"I know what you must be thinking kid..." the man suddenly said and Arthur looked up in surprise. The room had been silent long enough for him to almost dose off, tired as he had become. "My family and I have grown too far apart to save the situation and of that I am sure... I recently had my wife tell me that she was never going to share my bed again and my son doesn't even look at me when he speaks to me. It is like they don't think I still have my moments when I'm completely aware of what they are telling me. Of course, the things I drink dull the emotions and make me forget some of the things they tell me, but the other day I heard Diane tell Matthew over the phone that he shouldn't talk about me as his father anymore, because I wasn't even worthy of that name... no matter how good of a man I have always tried to be to my kids..."

Arthur blushed and felt bad about his own thoughts, as if they had almost been read by the other's keen eyes. The man however didn't seem mad or the lest bit annoyed by what he thought his nephew had been thinking. He seemed to be more glad for some reason...

"You seem to be a genuinely good kid..." he said and looked up for the first time in a while, but since Arthur was still looking down, they didn't make eye contact. "...no matter how you dress or present yourself, I hope you and Al will be close friends in the future as well, because my biggest fear is that he ends up like me... locked in my room with a wife that probably stopped loving me years ago and kids who hate my very name..."

"I like him" Arthur smiled and bit his lip, knowing that 'like' was a too weak word for what he felt about Al. Still, he couldn't say that so he shouldn't show it really. "So you have nothing to worry about, I'll make sure we don't grow apart. I'd never want that to begin with..."

"Good..." the older man smiled and drank the last of his beverage. "Not that I ever thought this was how my life would end but still, if you fight it, you won't destroy it, at least not as quickly as I did..."

Arthur was struck by the thought, provoked by those words, that this man must be more like him than he would have guessed. The way he thought that just because people told him everything was his fault, and because they expected him to be a jerk and an idiot... he thought himself that he was one. That was the reason why he had not done much to better himself, why he had not tried to solve the situation as soon as he realized that he had a problem. Maybe, if Al had inherited the wits and looks from his uncle, maybe Arthur himself had inherited things from Michael..?

"And I don't care..." his uncle suddenly said to break the silence once more and Arthur looked up at him, meeting his deep eyes for the first time. "You can be gay and be in love with my son for all I care... Even if you get him and marry him, as long as he is happy..." Arthur felt his heart wrench and air get stuck in his throat. He coughed violently and had to put the cup down on the table but missed by an inch. Michael's strong hand gripped it and took it from him to ensure the safety of the cup while letting him finish his coughing without any questions or teasing remarks. When silence had finally fallen, the older man smiled gently and put both their cups down on his side of the table. "Don't worry, I won't tell.. and I've known for a while even though I've never met you so it's not that it's an obvious thing..."

"How do you know?" Arthur almost hissed out since his throat felt really dry and sore from coughing. His heart was still in a raging battle against his ribcage and his eyes felt like they would flood with tears. And had this man really said that he was ok with it?

"Your father told me..." Michael said and scratched his neck, obviously understanding he might have been to forward with the sudden knowledge he had proved. "We spoke on the phone, it was years ago now... he told me about how he had suspected you where into men, then you had come out to your mother and he was happy you had so that he wouldn't have to go around and worry so much about you all the time..."

Arthur couldn't believe him so he just sat there, mouth slightly open in surprise and slight shock. His father knew..? His father even cared about it? His father had known even before he had come out to his mother..? So many thoughts and so many feelings rushed through his mind that he had no idea what to say or what to do about them. The only thing he could do was to sit there and stare, while his eyes grew and stung with tears.

"So... you have nothing to worry about" the other continued, a soft, half grin on his face. "I might be a son of a bitch and a drunken asshole... but at least you know that I've got your back, if there is anything Al cannot help you with... and I am always sober at night, that much I can handle..."

He tried to shake the shock but it took time for him to calm his mind at the moment. He had never met a grown up who was as frank as this one, as okay with it too. He nodded instead of speaking and swallowed hard to try to get his voice to work. The only thing he could get out was a weak "Thank you..."

"Nothing to thank me for kid... " his uncle smiled and the sighed slightly. "Now, you should get of to bed... I've kept you up for far too long and since I probably gave you a heart attack right there, I suggest you go and get some rest"

"I don't even know what to say..." he managed but Michael just smiled and stood up, picking up both the cups from the table.

"I can see that, but it's ok. You just run off to bed and I'll see you some other night when you happen to need a midnight chat. I'm sure you can handle yourself but if you feel you can't, you know where to find me"

With that the older one left the room with a soft smile back over his shoulder before leaving the still shocked Arthur in his chair, toes buried down in the soft carpet and fingers stiff in his lap. As much as he wanted to believe what he had just heard, he couldn't really comprehend it and see any proof from his life in England that his father had ever even cared about him. At least not since after he turned eleven or something.

When he finally sank in between the covers, he felt uneasy somehow, in the middle of all his sleepiness. Michael had been very nice indeed but the things he had said made everything here seem strangely unreal... the young man sleeping next to him on the bed, his soft breaths filling the air and those little snores he let out every time he turned or happened to fall over on his back. It all seemed unreal... compared to the feeling he had gotten back in the study with his uncle.

Even though he was so tired his head hurt from it, he couldn't sleep for at least an hour. He just lay there, thinking about his father and the rest of his family... Should he try to contact his father maybe? See what he had to say for himself? Maybe if he did, they would find their way back to each other? As father and son. Because when he thought more about it... he really missed that. At least now that his mother did not really desire to be his mother anymore.

_If only you had told me that you knew... _he thought and buried his face in the pillow with a deep sigh. _Don't you understand how much I wanted a grown up to understand me? To come and tell me that it would be ok and that it was nothing wrong with me...?_

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><p>Oh Lord hold on? Was that Francis almost thretening Artie? And what will Al do now, about Lauren and the fact that he might not feel as strongly for her as she does for him... and will Arthur contact his dad about the fact that he is gay? Find out if you keep reading and reviewing!<p>

_Codes  
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	10. words of confusion

Hi everyone! I bet you are surprised to see me so soon? 8D I have been a bit busy but I still took the time to write you this little chapter! I hope you like it! I have tried some tiny parts of it on the lovely Randomlvr1, who has helped me a bit with it all. Thank you so much! :D

Still, there should be some spelling errors in this chapter, since I have not had the time to show it to my beta... but I hope you will like it just the same :)

**Warning!:** There will be lemon in this story, which you all must be missing right now so please be patient! (L)

**Disclaimer:** All rights belong to the creators of APH and for them, we all are extremely greatful!

Hope you like these next turn of events! _  
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><p>"Good morning" Al smiled as he stepped into the kitchen, Saturday morning, with his hair standing in all directions, his eyes drowsy with sleep but still shining with energy somehow. Arthur smiled back and felt a sting of longing somewhere in his gut... a longing to have someone like Al in his life, someone that would wake up all cozy in the morning with his hair all messed up and a soft smile on his lips, enveloping him in warm hugs or just kissing him with warm lips. In front of Al however, he didn't show it and instead of looking at him, he put his nose back into the newspaper.<p>

"Did you sleep ok?" he asked from where he sat and pretended to read but he didn't get an answer. Just after Al had entered the room, so had Lauren as well... that lovely girl with the perfect body and the cutest smile ever playing on her lips. As soon as Arthur noticed, he bit his lip hard and swallowed his jealousy even harder. Why he even got jealous in the first place was beyond him. That he was horny he knew, all to well, but there where other men he could look at and get fucked by than his own cousin who happened to be younger than him as well.

"Hi baby" she said and soon she was all over her boyfriend, not at all seeming to mind Arthur where he sat. Al didn't seem to mind either, he must really have made his mind up, about this whole 'I don't know if I love her'-thing, and Arthur felt a sting of panic too, somewhere deep down. What did guys usually do when one of their friends started making out with their girlfriend? Did they look away and pretend they weren't there, to give them space..? Wasn't it more normal to start laughing and calling him a sissy? He had seen Al's friends do it but he couldn't understand that at all. For as much as it annoyed him to hear their little moans and see them all twirled up in a bundle when he was re-filling his cup of tea, the two of them where in love and you shouldn't really mess with that, right?

So instead of really doing anything bad, no matter how much he felt like spilling all his hot tea all over them both, he just sat there and waited for the blond man with the gorgeous blue eyes to realize they weren't alone in the room and that they really shouldn't go further than just making out. When Arthur realized that the thought would never hit his cousin however, he decided to leave the kitchen and head for the living room, ignoring the smell of woman on the couch as he sat down and turned the TV on with a sigh.

"Hello old friend" he half whispered in a chuckle and drank from his gigantic cup, which was one of the few things he had actually brought from England that wasn't a piece of clothing. "I hope you didn't miss anyone watching you too much?"

The TV wasn't to much delight though, since all it showed was old episodes of Family Guy, which he had grown tired of long ago. He still sat there and watched two episodes before he could hear Al coming down the stairs again. (and yes, Arthur had tried to ignore the sounds coming from upstairs after they had somehow managed to get up there without falling over from all the grabbing and kissing.)

"God morning again" Al chuckled as he, a couple of minutes later, entered the living room as well with a smoking hot cup of tea in his hands. He looked tired but still content, hair even messier now than before but it had, to Arthur, completely lost its charm. Messed up hair from after a long nights sleep was cosy and charming, messy hair from banging someone you hardly knew if you loved; not so much.

"Hi" he answered with a smile though and moved a bit so that Al could sit comfortably next to him without having to be pushed up agains him. He focused his eyes on the show, trying to get the jokes, even though he was only half paying attention. Why had Al suddenly become such a fucking sex God in his mind? Why where all his thoughts about being horny suddenly falling on the man sitting next to him? Arthur bloody well knew he was drawn to unavailable men, but this one wasn't even gay, anywhere in his body? He wasn't even unavailable, he was impossible to even get. So either Arthur was just horny and had no other handsome man in his prescience that he could fantasize about... or he had started to get turned on by seemingly heterosexual men as well. These thoughts should stop, along with the sudden bursting feelings of dislike towards that girl, now sleeping soundly in Al's bed upstairs.

"Sorry about running out on you like that" his cousin half mumbled, apologetically, as if he had been able to read some of Arthur's thoughts on his face. "We had a bit of a fight yesterday so I thought I should make it up to her.."

"Don't apologize" he chuckled back, even though it felt a bit better knowing that Al had actually realized that he was leaving him alone like that. "If you've decided to stay with her, you should really try to make things up to her as soon as the problems occur"

His cousin didn't answer and at first, Arthur just thought he was to tired to really be listening, but when he threw a soft smile to the side, he saw the wrinkle on that otherwise so smooth forehead. Maybe this subject was still a bit hard to talk about? He couldn't read minds, if he had been able to do that, he would have made sure not to dig to deep in that mind of his... because at the moment, Al seemed more troubled than Arthur had ever seen him before.

"You okay?" he had to ask, watching as the wrinkle grew deeper when Al started steering the spoon around in his cup of tea. Love trouble was never fun, at least not when being a guy and everyone expected you to keep your tears in. Truth be told, Arthur could never have handled being straight, since he cried to much. Francis had joked a lot about that back before they broke up and Arthur agreed with him. When being a man, you weren't supposed to cry and society knew it. If you did cry, you'd have to face the consequences. "Al, I know you're upset about all this and you told me before how much you care about her... but to be honest, you don't seem like the same happy person you where when I first came here. Are you really sure this is what you-..."

"Can you just shut up about it for once?" The sudden change of atmosphere cast chills down Arthur's entire body and he looked up in slight shock as Al stood up from where he had been sitting, hands clutched into fists at his sides. "I am tired, okay? I am tired with this fucking mess and all the things everyone is trying to tell me about the whole situation! Just get off my case and leave it alone Arthur, is that so hard? Do we always have to talk about this when we're together? Can't we talk about something else? Can't you just make me feel good for a change? You have no idea what I feel and what me and Lauren have, do you?"

Arthur felt his heart freeze in his chest, you know, that terrible feeling which tells you that soon it will stop beating and you can't do anything to stop it from happening. The feeling that even if you'd put it in the sun it wouldn't melt for hours and when it finally melts... it's still too damaged to save. What had just been said? What had he done wrong..? What had he said that had made Al so upset he now had that look on his face? The look which Arthur knew all to well from looking himself in the mirror endless nights in a row...

"No but..." he tried but as usual, his voice got stuck in his throat when he saw the anger and confusion in those blue eyes. Fuck, he didn't want Al to feel like this. Wasn't there anything he could do? Couldn't he help in any way? There had to be something..? "Al..."

"You know..." his cousin breathed out in a deep sigh, his eyes still burning but his voice slightly broken now. "I can take fucking care of myself... if you wanna play psychologist, go to someone else." With that, he turned away and left the room within seconds. It didn't take long after that before the front door of the house closed as well and left Arthur alone in the sad silence the other had created with his sudden burst of emotions.

It was the TV that brought him back to reality some minutes later, some woman who was crying frantically about her boyfriend leaving her or something, bloody irony of life. He poked at his cousin's cup but realized the tea had grown cold a long time ago. Since he had no idea what time it had been he couldn't really tell how long ago it had happened, but it must have been a while... He sat there for yet a little while, wondering what he would do now since his mind was definitely in shock after what had gone down.

As he stepped into the kitchen, the guilt came crushing down on him like rain from a clear sky and he had to stop and gasp for air, fingers clutching the cups he was holding. Not hard enough though since one of them slipped out of his grip and hit the floor with a crashing sound that would have woken everyone in the house, except... there where no one else there but him and Lauren, plus Michael who would probably be stoned by now. The noise was almost as devastating as the sound of Al's voice earlier and it took some time for Arthur to collect himself enough to get down on his knees and start cleaning it all up.

He knew this wasn't his fault, it couldn't be. Because he was not Lauren and he was not all the others who had pestered Al about all this. Al had said so himself, that he liked talking to him like they had that evening when they we're both so tired... hadn't he? Al must know the only thing he wanted was for him to be happy right? For fucks sake, he didn't want anything else...!

"Arthur?" Lauren's voice sounded from the door and he cursed inwardly as he heard it, closing his eyes quickly, not to let it all over flood. "What happened?"

He looked up and gave her a quick smile. She wasn't asking about Al right away at least, how kind of her. She even looked worried as she hurried over to him and it was only then that he realized he had cut himself pretty badly on a sharp edge, sending red liquid down over his palm and fingers, dripping down on the floor slowly.

"Oh... I'm quite alright.." he said, smiling even though he was totally surprised by the sudden wave of pain rushing over him. "Ouch..."

"Oh stop that" she sighed and he looked at her in confusion as he realized she was already down on her knees on the dirty floor, slimmed fingers wrapping themselves around his wounded hand with a napkin, which she had swiftly pulled up from her pocket, softly drying the blood away with a worried wrinkle in her forehead. "Don't say you're ok when you obviously aren't, come on... sit by the table and I'll bring you some bandaids, okay?"

He obeyed, lumping over to the table and sitting down silently while watching her hurry through the kitchen. Her pretty little body and those brown curls looking cutely ruffled after sex and sleep... she was an adorable creature, Lauren. She reached into a cupboard and pulled out some bandaids, jumped over the shattered cup on the floor and smiled as she approached him with it.

"Al showed me where they where yesterday, I accidentally broke some skin on my knee when I slipped on the driveway..." he half giggled and he forced a smile. Why she thought he was interested he had no idea, but he better not show anything else than kindness towards her. She was just trying to help after all... "So, give me your hand, I'll make this right, kay?"

He nodded, a bit uneasy as he reached his hand out to her, wincing when she cleaned the wound off with a piece of wet paper and then put the bandaid on neatly. He fingertips where softer than any fingertips he had ever felt against his skin and it gave him goosebumps to know that even though she might look like a bitch, she must have a very gentle side for her hands to be that soft... or she was just an abuser of moisturizing cream.

"Thank you..." he managed and felt fairly bad for thinking so many bad things about her the last hour. It wasn't really like him at all to do that... Of course Lauren was a lovely woman, why else would Al be wanting to spend this much time with her? He should really stop with these fucking mean thoughts already. Starting to sound like a damn bitch himself soon enough...

"You're welcome" she smiled, no, more like beamed at him and he just couldn't resist smiling back at her. "Now, just sit here for a while and I'll get this mess cleaned up." She then continued and gave him a look that he was sure meant that if he tried to argue she would not be merciful. "You really shouldn't be such a cluts..." she sighed as she threw the rests of the poor cup in the trash, along with the bloody paper and some left overs that had been left on the counter since someone had been up for a midnight snack. He gave a soft chuckle and looked down at his hand, which was now only pounding faintly.

"Says the girl who slipped on the driveway?"

Lauren laughed a little before turning to look back at him with fake fury playing over her delicious features and Arthur had to catch his breath at how wonderful she looked right there. So this was it then? The way Al saw her, the way they where together? Why hadn't he realized sooner..? "What did you say, young man? I happen to be excellent at everything I do"

"I can see why" he grinned and felt his heart melt at it all. He knew that he was definitely gay, so there was no worry. But there was something about the way she spoke and moved, which made her seem so much more alive than all her friends put together. Almost as alive as Jody, and that was saying something. She would truly grow up to be a wonderful woman... and he knew it, that right from this moment, she would be just as great as she deserved to be. "And by the way, I am older than you... young lady"

"Then I supposed you should be the one cleaning this off and not me?" she smiled, pointing at the counter which was filled with breadcrumbs. "Or am I your maid now, dear sir?"

He laughed at her failed attempt of impersonation a British woman and shook his head while leaning back in the chair he had occupied. "No dear girl" he said, his accent now shining through even more than it usually did, since he kind of tried to hide it in school... (he had met all to many people there who would gladly kick his ass just for the fact that he was British.) "You told me I should sit here, so here I sit, waiting for you to tell me differently, yes?"

She just shook her head and finished off, before returning to his side, sitting down on an empty chair while looking at him. Her eyes looked slightly worried, somehow, and she was biting her bottom lip as if thinking real hard about something he couldn't read from her forehead. Arthur was still just waiting for the question about where Al was and then the accusations about the fight being all his fault. The question that she did ask was a total surprise though. He hadn't expected that at all...

...

The cold morning air was bloody freezing and Al cursed as he pulled his sweater closer around his body, hating himself for not taking a coat or something. It was supposed to be summer now right? So why this damn cold?

His mood had improved a lot since he left the house though and at the moment he was kind of trying to tell himself that he was still fucking mad and he did NOT want to go back. No. Under no circumstances did he want to go back to tell Arthur how sorry he was, because he was so damn sorry for what he had said that it hurt just to think about it. He had turned his words over in his head about a thousand times now and no matter how he looked at it, those things he had said had been way to fucking harsh and he had had no reason to tell his cousin all that. After all, the only thing Arthur had been trying to do was to help him...

"Damn it..." he cursed as he looked around for somewhere to take shelter against the rain which had started dripping from the heavy skies. _Yeah God... _he thought and gave the sky a mad eyes. _Thank you so much for punishing me for my deeds... _

"You know, for someone who is a total idiot, I would not have expected you to be out of bed at this hour...?"

He felt his heart sink by the soft voice and the evil tone it brought. He knew exactly who is was and God, was there no end to the punishment? Did he have to run into an ex at this particular moment? When he was already feeling bad as it was? Or ok, this wasn't really an ex... they had had sex once and that had been it, but Al knew he had been hated ever since. What the reason was, he did not know though. He had made it perfectly clear that he had just been feeling like it and that it was nothing he was going to get used to. It was years ago too, at least it felt like it, so why bother dragging the past up with a shitty attitude.

"Maybe I went out to get a soda, you see..." he answered and turned to the black haired, angry creature behind him, who stood there under a big umbrella, all dry and warm (probably, looked like it anyway). "..unlike you, who always seem to follow me around, I have a life and just maybe... maybe I never even went to bed last night? Ever though about that? Because, unlike you, I got laid and let me tell you what it's like to get laid all night, since you clearly have no clue what that's like, do you?"

"You would know all about that, wouldn't you?" the other snapped back at him and there was the grin he had gotten so used to seeing in that otherwise so lovely face. "You know, I hear a lot about you Al..."

"Only bad I hope..." he mumbled, was he gonna get a lecture now? On how bad he was and how fucking horrible he had become... like he hadn't always been like this?

"Very funny... But you know, from what I hear, most of it's fucking bullshit, isn't it?" Al didn't even comment on that. Why was he even standing here, taking crap from someone who had been obsessing about him and his wring doing for almost two years? "Can you get all your buddies to believe everything about you? That you're some kind of sex God and that your penis is huge, stuff like that Al?" the other continued, an irritated wrinkle in an otherwise pale and smooth forehead, hands twisting around the handle of the umbrella.

"K, we had fucking sex two years ago" he now grunted as answer and shook his head and when the dark haired one tried to protest. "My dick has been fucking growing and I have learned stuff since then, why do you think I would fucking lie about the size about my dick to my male friends? They see me in the showers all the time anyway so they'd be knowing if I was lying, wouldn't they? If you choose to believe everything you hear about me, that's cool... you can do what ever the fuck you want with your life, just don't come to me and expect me that I am going to apologize for something I haven't fucking done..."

"Then prove it to me Al" the light voice almost whispered and the proposition came as a damn shock to him, making him look back at the other in slight wonder.

"Prove what to you, exactly?" he asked, even though he was suspecting where all this was headed. Was this really a serious suggestion that them both should hook up? Have sex just so Al could prove that his dick as not tiny and he had gained skill between the covers? Even though everyone must know by now that he was in a serious relationship and everything..?

"Come with me home... no one will be there, I won't kiss and tell... you know I won't Al..."

"Fuck off K, you're such a bitch you know that, right?" he shook his head and turned away, walking as quickly as he could away from the pathetic being who had obviously been obsessed about him for far to long. He hated bitches like that, no matter what their reasons where. "Just get a life and leave me alone, I promise, I'll make your life longer"

He grinned inwardly. Fuck please let that be the end of this nightmare... he thought and wrapped his sweater even tighter around himself. I just want to go home and apologize... can't believe I was such a dick towards him...

Warm arms where suddenly wrapped around his torso and even though the first thought that popped up in his mind was to push the other away and run, maybe throw a punch over his back to buy himself some more time, he couldn't. He closed his eyes, feeling a soft nose bury itself in his neck, fingers gently folding closer along with the arms around his body.

"Please..." that soft voice whispered. "...just once and I promise... that will be the end of it"

...

"Sorry..?" Arthur blinked as Lauren blushed and looked away, as if she was regretting the question she had just asked with every fiber of her body. Arthur on the other hand was more surprised that she had even dared to ask than by the fact that she had suspected he was gay, which was what she had asked him ever so boldly. She now shook her head and smiled apologetically while skillfully avoiding eye contact at every price.

"No nothing" she said and stood up from where she had been crouching on the chair, almost looking terrified, as if he would launch out at her and kill her instantly if she moved to quickly. "Forget I even asked you..."

"No it's okay, really" he smiled, standing up to, trying to catch her eye but it was pointless. "You don't have to be embarrassed about asking me? Of course you wanted to know, since you where suspecting it. That's just human nature and all"

"I really wouldn't have anything against it though!" she hurried to say, forgetting she was avoiding eye contact and meeting his eyes with that frightened expression still lingering on her face. He felt a warmth grow in his heart towards her, because right there she was so scared he would be saddened by her question that she forgot everything bad she must have ever heard about him...

"I know I know" he just smiled and gently stroke a lock of brown hair out of her flushed face, this tiny touch making her shudder as if she had never been touched before in her life. Pretty strange. "It's ok, Lauren, I'm fine with you asking me so just calm down and we can talk about it? After all, you asked because you wanted to know, right?"

"Well... yes..." she hesitated and looked down at their feet in slight confusion. "So.. you are gay then?"

It was weird, talking to Lauren about his situation, because even though he had already spoken to Jody about it, it king of felt like he was coming out for the first time when talking to this girl. Firstly, she was the girlfriend of his cousin (and potential erotic fantasy, Al that was), secondly, her personality was not at all as easy to understand and joke around with as Jody. This girl sat there quietly and listened to what he had to say for himself, never interrupted, just listened and spoke when she was supposed to. She nodded and looked very serious as he spoke of what he had had to go through with his mother and classmates and even though he really liked Jody and her free spirit, this had always been the way he had wanted at least his mother and his friends to react... to be honest.

"So there you have it..." he finally said, two hours later, when his stomach was crumbling for food and his tea had once more grown cold where he had forgotten about it in the big cup. "That's about it..."

She nodded, thinking about it for a while it seemed. "So you never had sex with anyone then..? Or did you just leave that out of the story?"

He blushed. _Gotta hand it to you Lauren... you sure talk about certain things more casually than I do... _he grinned inwardly and bit his lip before taking a sip of his tea even though it was disgusting to drink it could. "I left it out..." he then answered and gave her an embarrassed smile. "My sex life isn't really something I am used telling people about, and I'd rather not do it... I guess you'd understand?"

She nodded and seemed content with his answer without even asking anymore. He didn't really know why she feel silent, but somehow, it felt better now... the whole thing with her and Al. She really was a smart young woman and even though Al was completely immature, she was good for him and Arthur was kind of hoping that Al would see that before it was to late.

Before long, they both decided to get up and make something to eat, since they had both skipped lunchtime for a chance to get to know each other. Lauren had asked a while back weather he knew where her boyfriend had gone of to, when he had answered that he didn't, she had just nodded and dropped it. The question hadn't come up since, but Arthur could see her looking out the window from time to time... just like he himself was when she wasn't looking. Where was that dick anyway... He was getting worried by now.

He tried to distract his mind by making a french omelet with some spring onions, left over sausages and potatoes. Lauren watched what he was doing with interested eyes and laughed as he told her to crack the eggs. She wasn't at all good at it but managed pretty well after some incidents. She did seem to enjoy helping him though and it wasn't that long until they both sat down by the living room table, each with a plate of steaming omelet on it.

"It smells delicious Arthur" she smiled, almost sounding as if she was sining as she spoke. He could hear all the way to where he was sitting that her stomach was grumbling even more now than it had done when they where cooking. Or was it his stomach? He wasn't even sure anymore. It sure sounded like her's.

"I hope it tastes good too..." he chuckled. "To be honest, I might look like a pro in the kitchen but everyone I know, except maybe Al, is better at cooking than I am... at least that's what everyone else tells me."

"That's totally mean of them..." she sighed and shook her head before tasting the still steaming hot food on her plate. "..It is different from what I usually eat" she then said and took another piece of fried egg and potato. "..but I still like it a lot. If it was up to me to judge the food you make, or at least the little I've seen you make, I'd say that you are a really good cook. Just so you know"

"Thank you Lauren..." he chuckled and raised his glass with soda. "Too our awesomeness in the kitchen and for combined efforts"

"Cheers" she smiled and drank.

They then ate, hungry as they where, in front of the TV, watching some old season of America's next top model. Arthur soon realized that even though he didn't want it to be true, he knew exactly who would win and why... which was more than Lauren knew so she spent the next fifteen minutes teasing him about it. The mood was even cheerful, which felt weird, and it wasn't until thy where out of food and there was nothing on the TV worth watching that Arthur felt the guilt and worry sneak back over him like a wave of cold water.

"Don't worry about him" Lauren suddenly said and when he looked up, sure she had seen the worry in his face, he realized she was not even looking at him, eyes fixed on the TV and a soft smile on her face. "He does this sometimes, he might just have remembered he wanted to take a long walk or maybe one of his friends called, okay?"

"Yeah..."

And there was the guilt again... he hadn't told her about what Al had said before he left. How could he tell her when the conversation had been about her and their future together? The mood his cousin had left in the living room was only visible for Arthur and it had to stay that way. He wasn't prepared to singlehandedly ruin Lauren and Al's relationship just because the other had been in a foul mood... By the way, hadn't he said him and Lauren had been fighting the night before..? Come to think of it, what had that been about?

"I guess I should get going though" she smiled and interrupted his thought proses mid thought. She had already stood up even though he hadn't noticed and he hurried to stand too, being as polite as he could of course. She picked up the dishes but he smiled and shook his head while gently placing a warm palm on her wrist.

"I'll take these, you have done enough already, I feel like a bully or something" She just smiled at that, nodding thankfully as she put the plates down on the table again. He followed her to the hallway where she put he shoes on swiftly and then turned to him with that beaming smile of her's again.

"I'm glad I got some time to get to know you Arthur" she said and tilted her head to the side, eyes twinkling.

"Likewise Lauren" he smiled back, truthfully.

"And I am glad, for Al's sake that he might get some... intelligent conversations with someone of his own age now that you are here" she added with a chuckle, reaching out to him and pulling him into a light hug. "All his other friends are fucking assholes, haha."

"Well, I am glad I might be able to bring him a new side of entertainment so that he won't grow tired of teenage life"

She laughed and left quickly after, walking down the driveway carefully this time, not to make the same mistake as last nigh apparently.

The house was so silent after she had left, that he had to go back to the TV, even if he knew there was nothing there for him to watch. The minutes where so slow he thought at some point that it might have been frozen by some wizard or something, but when the front door finally opened again, he realized there had only been half an hour since Lauren left.

"I'm home..." came Al's voice and immediately he could feel a rush of both fright and relief down his body. He hurried to stand up form the couch, realizing that he hadn't even taken the dishes out, before walking into the hallway. They needed to talk about this... he felt so bad about it all.

_Please let Al want to talk about it too... I feel like such a jerk... _"Welcome back..." he said, his voice not at all as strong as it should have been but it didn't really care. It wasn't like they had been shouting and he was expecting an apology... he was the one who should apologize for not seeing that he was pushing it too far...

"Arthur..." Al replied and there was something in his voice that threw him right of beat. He sounded almost as if he was about to cry, eyes looking tired as if he had not been sleeping for days.

"Gosh Al what have you done..?" Arthur just had to burst and hurried over to his cousin with arms reaching out for him, not quite sure how his hug would be seen by the other but he didn't care. He gently pulled the younger one into a warm hug, burying his nose in the other's neck. He needed a hug and it was a hug that he would get. For some reason, Al didn't even seem to mind it, in fact, he hugged back. "I'm so sorry, okay? I shouldn't have pushed you to talk about it Al..." he continued and made sure his feelings came across in the hug, knowing that this might be the only bloody time when Al would allow him to hug like this.

"What..?" came a surprised response and Arthur's heart sank as he felt those strong hands grip his shoulders and push him away. It felt at first as if he was about to get shoved into the wall but that wasn't the case. Al just held him at half arm length, looking at him with such serious eyes that Arthur felt pierced straight through. "No, you've got it wrong... I'm the one who should apologize to you, not the other way around? Jeez Arthur... I'm so sorry for fucking your mind up like that..."

Arthur was just so shocked that he didn't even protest. Instead he bit his lip and tried to think back about what had happened earlier. Wasn't he the one who had been out of bounds..? Or wait, he had tried to tell himself right after Al left that it wasn't his fault but he had not really believed in that himself, had he?

"Look..." Al continued and got Arthur to sit down on the small bench, which was located close to the door (a good thing to have if you, like Al's mother, had boots which where hard to put in if you where not sitting down), kneeling in front of him with his forehead wrinkled again. "...I shouldn't have told you all those stupid things, ok? I was just so busy thinking about it all and I... You didn't do anything wrong, at all. You where just trying to help me, you're about the only person that has not already given up on me even... gosh, I have no idea what came over me, okay?"

"Well.. I..." Arthur tried, scratching his neck. This situation was everything but what he had been expecting. And Al was just looking to adorably sorry where he sat with one hand on the sofa and one resting on Arthur's knee. It was a totally innocent action which his cousin apparently wasn't thinking twice about, but to Arthur, it was just so warm and calming feeling his hand like that...He was missing it so much by now, the feeling of getting touched by someone who cared more for him than Al did.

"You are the only one I can talk to about this Arthur, about anything..." Al continued and shook his head in slight desperation, not seeming to get the words out like he wanted them. "So please, I'm sorry... and I really wanna make it up to you ok? I don't want you to feel like you did anything wrong because you've never done anything wrong towards me and I... Fuck, I'm so sorry... please don't cry..."

Arthur quickly smiled and wiped a tear from his cheek, totally shocked that it was even there, he hadn't noticed that his eyes where filling with them. He didn't want to cry, he was just relieved because he was always the one to blame everywhere else... just hearing Al saying that it wasn't his fault made him all warm for some reason.

"I'm okay Al" he hurried to say, still smiling as he dried his eyes. "I was just worried that I fucked it all up by talking about it, because I should have backed off more about it... I should have understood how much it hurts you not to know what you should do about her and all.."

"I told you you didn't do anything wrong Arthur... so stop thinking that what I said had any meaning..." his cousin sighed and reached up to dry a tear away, which Arthur had missed and was now running down his chin. "I was a jerk towards you, like I am towards everyone so if anyone fucked it up, that would be me... So please, can we just forget about all of it? I'll buy some pizza or something and we can just... talk or something?"

"You'd really buy me pizza?" Arthur grinned, trying to sound as if he was totally excited about it. He knew the feeling Al had at the moment... he had felt it for years without even doing anything wrong. It felt a bit cheesy even, that Al was back and apologizing like this... something that only happened in the movies. The only thing that wasn't as in the movies however was the fact that Arthur wasn't Al's girlfriend or what ever. Funny thought.

"I'll buy you two if you want..." the younger one sighed in relief and then tilted his head to the side, a bit like Lauren had done earlier. "And here I left you alone with Lauren all day... did you survive?"

"No I am quite dead" he chuckled back and then stood up, almost simultaneously with Al, pulling him into a hug again. "I'm fine Al, so stop worrying. And Lauren was very nice to me, we made omelets and watched Top Model, very lovely girl" he added as he pulled away, not making this hug too long. He didn't want it to be awkward between them, never again. He liked this Al, the one he felt he could talk to and laugh with. He just had to stop his own dick from twitching at the sight of him. He had always had a thing for blonds... fuck.

Al seemed satisfied with the answer though and chuckled slightly, some of the colour returning to his cheeks now. He had been awfully pale when he stepped through the door but it was first now that Arthur really noticed the change. He didn't want to ask right away what he had been up to though. Al seemed both hungry and tired so it would be best to get him some food before even beginning to ask him things again.

They decided to walk the distance to the pizzeria, Arthur feeling as if he was just living a dream and he would soon wake up on the sofa and realize this was just that; a dream after Al had left. He would wake up and realize Lauren was a bitch and Al was fucking pissed at him. Oh he didn't want that...

"You know..." Al said as they where done ordering, siting down by a table in a corner of the almost filled dining room. "..Lauren and I, I mean you know I care about her a lot, but she has these crazy ideas..."

"Ideas like what?" he asked back, feeling good about the fact that Al had been the one to start talking about it again.

"You know, she hears things from other people..." Al continued and bit his lip slightly while trying to find the words. "And before, when we where just fucking around, she didn't care about what she heard and she didn't believe it either. She would tell me what someone had said about me and then we would laugh about it for days... but now, she takes everything she hears and put it together, thinking that it's the truth... and she doesn't even ask me about it. She just starts to hate my guts for it and there is nothing I can do about it, since she won't believe me if I try to tell her the truth..."

"Well, isn't that because she feels she is more dependent on you now? I mean... before it was just you and her, now that everyone knows about the two of you as a couple, she has so much more to lose..." when Al looked at him with a question mark all over his face, Arthur smiled and continued. "...we all know that you used to fuck around a lot before right? And I am not saying that's a bad thing, it wasn't like you where cheating on anyone, you just felt like it, right?"

"You make me sound like such a crazy dude..." Al laughed but then nodded, because it was indeed true.

"A very funny dude if I might add" Arthur chuckled back and took a sip of his coke. "But she used to be just like you so she knows the way, or more like... she thinks she knows the way you used to think. Now, you are together and that makes her worry that you will cheat or something, because at the moment you're just having sex with her and that might not be enough for you..."

"Did she tell you this..?"

"Nah, she wouldn't tell me right? Because she sees me as too much of a threat to tell me about her relationship with you..." he smiled but didn't wait for the questions he saw form in those deep blue eyes. "Anyway, she has everything to lose now too, since everyone knows about it, let's not even talk about her reputation if you where to dump her right? And she loves you, which is not a reason for you to stay with her if you do not feel the same way, if you do not feel strongly for her and if she is not what you are looking for in a partner more than sex, you should not hide it anymore because that only hurts you both. I'd say, if that is how you feel you should talk to her about it and part as friends before she is too deeply into it..."

"But both you and I know that I can't do that, right?" Al sighed and poked at some break crumbs on the table, eyes cast down. "I care so much about her and I really want her to be the one I need and want but... I don't know, she is so different now and it feels like she fucking hates me at times..."

"I've heard that's what love does to you"

"Wait..." Al said with a confused look on his face. "You're sitting here and giving me advice about my relationship with my girlfriend, but you have no experience of a relationship yourself? That can't be right..?"

"Who said I don't have experience? Come on Al, do you seriously thin that I'm a virgin at my age and with my way of life?" Arthur grinned back and was relieved the pizzas where being carried towards their table. Maybe this would distract Al long enough to make him forget about the conversation about Arthur's ex... His cousin did seem very interested in the burning hot food for a while, shoveling it into his mouth with little noises of pleasure.

"Anyway.." Arthur started again, when he saw his chance, letting his own food cool down for a bit. "Since she loves you, she is proud now, knowing that a lot of other people, both male and female would want you, she has probably been barging about it... just like you have"

"I don't brag!" Al protested, moth filled with pizza and the sight made Arthur half choke with laughter on the mouthful of soda he had just taken into his mouth.

"I know you do, so don't try to slither out of this. Besides, this is about Lauren, not you" Arthur then continued as if nothing had happened. "What she would want, I think, is for you to invite her to talk to you, like you do with me, you know? She wants you to open up to her and tell her about what you feel and stuff..."

"You mean like yesterday when she accused me of having sex with you every night just because there is a rumor at school that you're gay and since we share a room you fuck my brains out?"

Arthur was so stunned by this he even forgot how to breath for a moment, just stared at the other with wide eyes. Did that mean Al believed the rumor about him being gay or not? He couldn't just leave it like that, could he? He had to ask him now because if Al didn't, the thought of him knowing but not telling would drive Arthur fucking mad.

"That... That's an unfair rumor..." he then said to break the silence because the only thing he had received form Al before the other went back to his pizza was a glance of blue oceans. "I mean... even if I where to be gay, why would we fuck just cause we share a room? And since you're heterosexual, that's an even smaller possibility, right?"

"They are teenagers Artie..." Al sighed and chewed slowly on a piece of crust. "They don't really follow logic, if they see someone who is gay they make a gay stereotype out of him or her... just the way school is these days..."

"And now, who is sounding like an old man?"

"But seriously though Arthur..." the blue eyed one said, looking up from his already half emptied plate. "...Even if you where gay or whatever, It's not like I'd mind? But I guess they think I'd start hating you if I heard about it or something..."

Arthur didn't answer. He wasn't really liking where it was all going because honestly, did Al suspect the rumors where true or not? He bit down on his lip, hard and looked down at the pizza, which must have cooled down enough to be eatable now... not that he was the least bit hungry but what ever.

"And besides, you got it wrong..." Al continued with a slight chuckle. "I'm not heterosexual, quite sure I am at least bi curious, but don't tell Lauren that... haha"

Oh no. This wasn't happening.

* * *

><p>Oh now there has been a lot of things happening in this chapter! o: how about Al's burst of anger? Or Lauren and Arthur's conversation! AND who the fuck is that mysterious umbrella carrier and did Al really come with said person home? O.o so many questions and so few answers... ;_;<p>

See you ;)


	11. Confession

Hello again! Yet again I am making up for lost time! I haven't written this quickly in a while ;D I do hope you like this chapter! Might be slightly confusing ut if you notice it is, please tell me and I will change it :D

Still, there should be some spelling errors in this chapter, since I have not had the time to show it to my beta... but I hope you will like it just the same :)

**Warning!:** oh just wait ;D you will be pleased soon enough

**Disclaimer:** All rights belong to the creators of APH and for them, we all are extremely greatful!

Enjoy!

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><p>Unfortunately for Arthur, their conversation had been forcefully interrupted by one of Al's ginger haired friends who had spotted where they sat with their pizzas (and as far as Arthur knew, this was the only ginger haired friend his cousin had). He had almost jumped Al with laughter and back punches and it wasn't long before the two of them where joined in a serious conversation about an upcoming game. Arthur smiled and tried to stay focused, not let his mind wonder as much as it wanted to. If Al's sudden out was of any importance, if it was even true, they could always talk about it some other time when they where alone with no one that could misinterpret... So, not thinking at all too much, he kept the smile up and started eating.<p>

The other guy was apparently called John, or Johnathan and even though he hardly even looked at Arthur, he seemed like an ok guy. At least if you where popular and where his friend. He didn't seem to be interested in Arthur at all to be honest, it was as if he was air. Which kind of made him feel like John wasn't the best kind of guy anyway... not even for Al. He seemed rich too... what was he even doing in this place? Looked like the kind of guy who would send someone else to get pizza for him...

"I'll see you later then" the standing teenager said and even gave Arthur an eye this time, grinning slightly with deep green-brown eyes as he did so before he left in a hurry.

"I'm sorry about that..." Al sighed and scratched his neck as a red sports car left the parking lot outside the window. "He is always interrupting me when I'm talking to people and all, a total dick to be honest... but when we're alone he is pretty funny, always knows exactly what to say to cheer me up"

Arthur smiled and took another bite of the pizza. He didn't know if he should ask, maybe that would be too obvious, so he waited to Al himself to pick the subject up again. The pizza was good at least.

"He doesn't really talk to others than those he know though..." Al added, wrinkles now spreading over his forehead. "I think he might be shy? Or maybe he just doesn't like people that much..."

"Maybe he thinks he is better than them?" Arthur joked and was relieved when he saw a smile tug at the side of his cousin's lips. _Get a grip Al, talk to me... you need me here for you and I can see it... trust me to be here for you will you?_

"I hoped you liked the pizza by the way?"

"Best pizza ever" Arthur assured, even though it would probably have been better if there had been more cheese on it, but that he didn't say. He didn't want to sound like a fat ass after all. Al seemed to be satisfied with the answer though, and even though he didn't mention the previous statement again, they where both having a pretty good time there at the table, drinking soda and watching people passing by outside, making up little stories for them as they went passed.

_Maybe it doesn't really matter anyway... _Arthur thought as they got up to leave, putting trays with plates and left overs on the counter as they passed, to be polite. _He would never be interested in me anyway, so what does it matter if he has ever been interested in a guy or not? _

_..._

The walk home had, to Al, been almost like heaven... the sun had been setting, birds and flowers, all that shit which he always failed to notice otherwise... unless Lauren told him they where there. He and Arthur had been talking about their thoughts about life and what they where going to do once they got out of the hell hole called school. Al had realized how much he really respected this guy, not only for standing up to the norm around him, but also because of the fact that he knew what he wanted to do with his life... or at least that he had a plan, which Al did not.

When they had reached the front door and eventually gotten the door open, they had been met by the smell of baking bread and his mother chattering on the phone with one of her lady friends. Grinning, both of them had advanced up the stairs to get some private time in the comfort of Al's bedroom. But it wasn't until long that the woman followed them upstairs and peaked her nose into the room with a beaming smile at them where they where sitting on the bed with Al's laptop in front of them.

"Arthur, honey" she said and handed the phone towards the green eyes one, winking a bit at him (which to Al only looked totally weird and he thought he might die if he had to think the thoughts that had popped up into his head from it...). "It's your mother on the phone, she'd like to talk to you if that is ok?"

Arthur smiled and waited to answer before Diane had left the room again, making a face of disgust before grinning falsely as he answered her question if he was there. Al decided that maybe he should try to shut his ears off for a while. After all, Arthur was talking to his mother and stuff like that could become slightly uncomfortable if you knew one of your friends where listening... Al knew from personal experience.

Instead, he turned to the yellow mark on his messenger where Lauren had been trying to contact him for about fifteen minutes without him really caring to see what she had written. Maybe this was what Arthur meant, about the two of them... because he didn't really care what Lauren had to say anymore... but if that was because of the fact that they knew each other so well by now that he almost always knew what the she would say or because she was just so dull right now he didn't know.

**Lauren 9:12 PM **

_You there? Tried ti reach you on your cell earlier but I couldn't get to you... everything alright? You'd already left when I got up this morning so... I didn't quite know what to do except spend some time with Arthur :) He really seems like a good guy! Even though he is obviously gaaaaaaay ;D _

**Lauren 9:30 PM **

_Al? Come one :( you're making me wait here again... not fair..._

**Mr. Nice guy 9:45 PM**

_Hi Laur, sorry! I was talking to mom... And I'm sorry about this morning, had to take a walk and ran into John on the way back so we got some food, didn't mean to leave you alone with my gay cousin, haha _

While waiting for her response, he bit his lip and looked over at his cousin who was in some kind of minor argument with his mother. There was a pained expression on his face now, the kind of expression that Al didn't want to see on anyone he cared about... He looked so tiny, where he was sitting down at his madras, so vulnerable and sad, almost desperate. Not knowing what to do, he looked down at the screen again, thinking that he should really talk to his older cousin about it later... that AND ask him about this homosexual business... because somehow, he felt like asking.

A new message had popped up on the screen, not belonging to Lauren and he chuckled inwardly as he read the words.

**I'll Fuck You And You'll Thank Me 9:46 PM**

_And there he is, the prodigal son, returned home form his wondrous journey to the pizzeria? _

**Mr. Nice guy 9:46 PM**

_You know, dick head John, I have been home for an hour, where the hell have you been?_

**I'll Fuck You And You'll Thank Me 9:48 PM**

_Oh don't sound like I did anything wrong my friend, I just fucked some blonde and felt rather good about myself... but I guess you won't be fucking anyone random in a while, right? ;) since you're about to be wedded and all..._

**Mr. Nice guy 9:48 PM**

_Do I detect a hint of jealousy? _

**I'll Fuck You And You'll Thank Me 9:49 PM**

_No, more like pity! Dude, you can't settle down with her? You can't be serious right? Haha... you have been fucking so many different people that you could never settle for just one, let alone someone like Lauren who'd want to marry you at the age of 20 or something_

**Mr. Nice guy 9:49 PM**

_Oh screw you ;D _

**I'll Fuck You And You'll Thank Me 9:50 PM**

_Oh you would like that, wouldn't you? ;) But you know I'm right! And what about the gay boy, Arthur, now residing in your room my dear friend? Does he hold no interest to you what so ever? ;D don't you think I know about your preferences, your true preferences Al ;) You're hard for him, aren't you?_

**Mr. Nice guy 9:51 PM**

_Oh shut up... even if he had held any sexual interest to me, I wouldn't tell you because you would only want to steal him away form me if that was the case ;) you've always been jealous that I get all the good looking ones _

**I'll Fuck You And You'll Thank Me 9:52 PM**

_And fuck he's good looking... _

Al laughed slightly and switched conversation to see if Lauren had answered yet, she hadn't. He looked back at John's words with a grin, knowing that half of what that guy said was just bullish and the rest was a load of crap. He didn't really care if he met someone who was gay or a lesbo, which was one of the good things about him but it was a bit scary when he joked around about men being attracting to him...

"Anything fun happening in cyberspace?"

Al twitched involuntarily and looked up with slight panic rushing through his mind at the sudden thought that Al might see what they where writing. It wasn't cool to joke about it, after all... He softly shut the lid of the laptop instead of jeopardizing his better judgement and smiled back at his cousin who still looked slightly sad (though trying to hide it).

"Not really" he answered and shrugged before smiling wider. "Lauren tried to reach me but then she didn't reply, and then I spoke to John a bit, you know... the guy at the pizza place?"

Arthur nodded at this and Al could feel a pull at the pit of his stomach, knowing that look all to well. The poor guy looked so lonely down there... it was so fucking sad to see him like this. Hadn't he just been smiling, happily talking about his dreams and hopes? Now he just looked like the shell of a happy boy, who's happiness had flown away with the wind, leaving him empty with nothing but fake smiles...

"What did she say..?" he asked, sliding down from the bed to be somewhat closer to his hunching cousin and friend, wanting to show him that he wasn't fucking alone and that he shouldn't give up just because the bitch told him something nasty. Arthur looked, for a moment, as if though he was not going to tell anything about the call but there was something in his eyes, telling Al that all he wanted was to let it all out or something. "Come on Arthur, you've helped me so much, let me be there for you when you need me too?"

"Well, if you put it like that..." Arthur smiled and nodded a little, scotching over so that they both could sit comfortably with their backs against the edge of the bed for support. "At first she just asked me how I was doing, you know, basic mother questions..." At this Al nodded and his cousin took a deep breath as if to calm some nerves, or maybe tears... "But then, like always, she started telling me that she had found me someone to date, someone that she liked and thought would be perfect for me and yada yada... Some girl named Natalia?"

_So you're not gay? _Was what he wanted to ask but stopped himself before opening his own mouth. He couldn't really ask that, straight out, could he? Besides, for all he knew, Arthur might just be bisexual, like himself? No. He would keep those silly questions to the grave or at least until a better opportunity to ask them. "Is this someone you haven't met then? Like, she is setting you up with someone you have never seen or spoken too and..."

"Yes..." Arthur nodded and sighed. "She wants me to be this perfect person, without my piercings and my stupid clothes, without my temperamental outbursts or my weird friends... so she constantly wants me to see the girls she choose for me, see if they will make me normal, make me into the son she wants because the one she has... is only an embarrassment to her..."

"That's not true Arthur..." Al tried but was silenced by a green look flooded with tender tears and a shaking bottom lip.

"It IS true Al..." his cousin said, voice shaking too and he seemed to do nothing to hide it anymore. "She just told me so herself, like always when she gets mad... if I refuse to see all the girls she want for me, which I do because seeing them would only be evil to them and feel bad for me, then she will stand there, screaming at me that I should grow up and out of all this stupidity..."

"What stupidity? That you dress like you want to or the fact that you just want to be your own person and what she is doing is not helping? Or... is there something else she doesn't like about you?" he had to ask and he could see the older one tensing slightly at the question. Of course he would be tensing... it was a stupid fucking question! And he was just about to undo it by changing the subject slightly when Arthur answered it.

"Well, yes..." he said and looked down at his hand which where pulling at each other. "She doesn't like what I've become, who my friends are... not that I have any friends at home anymore... she... well she... oh fuck... what ever..."

Al looked at his cousin in slight confusion, not quite following where he was going with all the words and the desperate tears on his cheeks. What could he do? Was there anything he could do to make it easier for the other to open himself up to him? What did he usually do at times like this..? Or well, the only person he ever had to comfort from emotional break down was Lauren... so, what did he usually do if Lauren broke down? (Which wasn't that often...)

"It's ok Arthur..." he smiled, gently and bit his lip before reaching his arm out, clumsily and in a slightly awkward angle until he could pull the older one in towards him, letting Arthur rest his head against his shoulder. "...you don't have to.."

"Yes..." the other one half whimpered and as Al looked down at him, those magnificent green eyes where closing softly as more tears fell. He looked frightened... "Yes, I have to tell you because... it's who I am and if you don't even know that, you don't know me and I really want you to know me... you if anyone..."

"Alright..." Al nodded back and gently let his thump rub over Arthur's shoulder, trying to somehow make the other one feel at least a little better. What more than that and listen was there that he could do anyway?

"My mother... she always loved talking about what I would be when I grew up..." Arthur started again, after a couple of deep breaths. "She used to say that I would be something big, something wonderful and that she would always be proud of me... but then everything changed, from one day to another... because I had been trying to hide things from her, for her own good, because I knew she would freak out..."

Al didn't say anything now. He knew somehow that maybe it was after this that everything would fall into place for him... maybe now, he would really get what it was behind the beautiful exterior that made Arthur into the soft and wondrous person that he was. And he wanted to know, more than ever, now. So he wouldn't say a word until he heard it, from Arthur's own lips, rather than someone else's.

"I... I came home one day..." he continued after opening his green oceans again, a slight melancholic smile on his face now. "And she had been through my room, cleaning it... she had come across my diary and yes, I know, boys don't write diaries but I did... anyway... she had seen it and opened it for fun, because she hadn't heard me say I was in love with anyone in my class yet... it was a pretty old diary too, but she thought it wouldn't hurt if she just flipped through it..." he sighed and looked up to meet Al's wondering eyes, smiling a bit wider as a lonely tear fell down his cheek. "She found out that my first love had not been a Lisa, a Lauren or a Marie... it was a Tino, a tiny boy from the class one year younger than me... She didn't believe her eyes and I'm sure that after she screamed at me that first time, the same night... she thought it would just go away. But it didn't... It never did. She was totally shocked when I came out to her later on... since she thought it had only been a childish phase of some sort... And I think, that if she got the chance to change anything about me, it would be the fact that I am gay..."

There was a deep, calm, sensation of relief when Al heard it, which was not what he had initially thought he'd be feeling. But really... now he actually knew and it was such a warm feeling, knowing that Arthur trusted him enough to want to tell him something like this. There was a smile tugging at the sides of his lips but before he could even say how happy he was that he knew now and that Arthur had told him, he could hear his mother calling for him downstairs. He looked down at the other and realized suddenly how the terror was still in those green eyes, the fright, obviously that what he had said would not be accepted... Al just beamed a smile at him, gently letting a finger push a lock of blond hair out of Arthur's eye.

"Arthur..." he then said and nudged gently at the other's chin to get his mood up. "...don't worry so much? I don't fucking believe your mother for disliking that part of you? After all, it is who you are right? And who you chose to sleep with should be none of her fucking business? As if my mom would tell me to stop fucking Lauren just because of her sex, right? Look, you're a wonderful person and I don't know what else I can say but the fact that I am so glad you wanted to tell me this..."

"You... you are?" came the weak response and Al couldn't do anything else but smile and nod, before pulling the other one into a tight hug, warmth spreading through his chest as Arthur hugged him back, just as hard.

"Yes you silly kid..." he then said and sight. "I promise we'll talk about this later, ok? I just need to go downstairs and see what the woman wants, ok?" He received a soft nod and a relieved smile as he pulled out of the hug. "You can use my computer or something while I'm gone, so you won't fall asleep on me"

"Thanks..." Arthur half chuckled, obviously so relieved that he wanted to cry again. "And Al..." he said as soon as Al had stood up to leave the room. "Thank you so much, for not... you know... being homophobic or anything..."

"Haha I told you before" Al just grinned and stepped outside. "I'm bisexual anyway so how could I be homophobic?"

...

Arthur could feel the warmth spreading through his entire body as he heard the steps of his cousin disappear down the stairs. He would have never thought that Al would take it as well as he had. Or, he wouldn't have thought all would be homophobic really, that was just silly talk... especially not since he was obviously bisexual. Oh Gosh...

He smiled a little and had to bury his face in a pillow not to squeal with relief and happiness. Fuck this felt good! To have someone he could trust with all this, who wouldn't tell anyone and who didn't just see him as an ass to fuck. Not that he would mind anyone fucking his ass at the moment but still.

With butterflies still in his stomach, he took a seat on the comfortable, big bed belonging to the strikingly handsome man downstairs and pulled the computer up into his lap. He needed to see if someone had emailed him, from the school. Or maybe if Jody had said something on Facebook.

But there was something else that caught his attention as soon as the screen had bursted into life again. A blinking yellow light at the bottom of the page and oh how he could not keep his fingers away from it. He clicked it quickly, knowing that he probably shouldn't but what harm could there be in him looking at what some random person had told Al on MSN?

"Well Al..." he said out loud as he read through the conversation, even though he had told himself he shouldn't... but seeing his own name mentioned by someone else just caught his attention. "What kind of conversation is this anyway?" He chuckled and looked to see if 'I'll Fuck You And You'll Thank Me' was still Online or not. He was. His last words looked very promising though and it didn't take Arthur long before his fingers where typing letters quickly.

**I'll Fuck You And You'll Thank Me 9:52 PM**

_And fuck he's good looking... _

**Mr. Nice guy 10:36 PM**

_Well thank you, that is very kind of you /Arthur_

As he waited for the reply, he chuckled and hid his face in the pillow again. He hadn't felt this mischievous in years and the feeling was almost intoxicating. His stomach at started to grumble though, even though they had only had pizza a couple of hours ago. He was kind of hoping right now that Al would bring them some snacks on his way up again. There was a note now, on the bottom of the window, telling him that John was writing back. Gosh. Scary.

**I'll Fuck You And You'll Thank Me 10:38 PM**

_Wtf? Are you just shitting with me Al? Tell me you are because if not, this is fucking embarrassing..._

Arthur felt like laughing out loudly but he didn't. Instead he bit down on one of the four edges of the pillow case and started typing again, grinning.

**Mr. Nice guy 10:38 PM**

_I guess we haven't been formally introduced? My name is Arthur Kirkland, transfer student from England, cousin of Al. You must be John who came and interrupted out little get together at the pizza place earlier today? ;) How very nice to meet you. And don't feel embarrassed John, this would have happened to you eventually anyway. Better it was me than someone you have fucked and want to get rid of, right?_

**I'll Fuck You And You'll Thank Me 10:39 PM**

_Oh... Then I guess you aren't Al then... well, ehm... haha... Ok. Hello, I'm Johnathan Dawson, the same team as Al... and, actually, I find you attractive and I will not make that into something embarrassing ;)_

**Mr. Nice guy 10:40 PM**

_You shouldn't be ashamed, I know I'm hot after all. ;) Say, John, (can I call you John?) I was wondering... why didn't you even look at me back at the pizzeria? ;) You seemed as if though I wasn't even there? How come? _

The answer this time took a while and Arthur leaned back in the bed, yawing slightly. His in built school clock was starting to tell him that he really should get to bed soon so that he could get at least some hours sleep before he had to get up again. Al sure was taking a long time downstairs and this guy, no matter how gay he sounded, would probably start behaving all homophobic any moment now anyway. It was intriguing though, to talk to someone he didn't really know... that might be interested in him, or so it seemed. That one of Al's friends would be even bisexual seemed too good to be true however...

**I'll Fuck You And You'll Thank Me 10:43 PM**

_(Yes, you may call me John, in fact, please do) And I'm sorry... I just... Haha OK I'm gonna be honest with you and if Al is sitting next to you, which I hope he is not, then I will just have to take the consequences, right? _

**Mr. Nice guy 10:43 PM**

_Yes, I suppose so... _

**I'll Fuck You And You'll Thank Me 10:45 PM**

_Well, I am quite shy around people I don't know, especially of the male type because I frankly don't fucking know how to talk to them... And now you're probably laughing your asses of back there or something but it's true xD I can talk to Al and my buddies but you, well, firstly, you're fucking gorgeous and I haven't shagged a guy for decades... kind off (And don't worry, I am not Edward Cullen!) Secondly, no offense or anything but almost everyone says you are gay and do you know how hard it is to find a willing male to have sex with around here? Especially when you have money and everyone expects you to go out with all the hot ladies..._

Arthur was so shocked at this statement that he didn't even know what to say anymore. So... this guy was really gay? Or... bisexual with gay preferences at least? And he was coming onto him because he wanted someone random that was hot enough to fuck? Could there be a better opportunity? Ok, now he was just sounding desperate but is was true. Even what John said was true; it must be hard as hell finding someone that was interested in you and wanted you for the person you where... if you couldn't find said person, or just get him to fall for you, then why not have some casual sex at the side of things?

Oh his mind was wondering so much it was scary, why did he even think about this? Yes, he was gay and totally over horny... but would he really flirt back with a crazy rich jock from Al social surroundings?

When thinking more closely about it, it was even weird that this John even told him all this, wasn't it? Because at the moment, it seemed like even Al didn't know about this... so why would he tell a complete stranger that he had only seen once up close and some times in a corridor? He looked at the words typed on the screen again, stomach turning when he realized it had always been like this. Guys that where seemingly straight gained an interest in him and half expected him to buckle underneath them without question, never telling anyone about their adventures of course...

The MSN window blipped again and Arthur looked down at the screen with both curiosity and slight miss belief. This had to be a damn joke, all of it.

**I'll Fuck You And You'll Thank Me 10:50 PM**

_But judging from the fact that you're not saying anything... I'd say either Al walked in on you and you're fucking your brains out atm, or you're not gay at all and totally offended by the fact that I thought you where..? If that's the case... sorry _

**Mr. Nice guy 10:50 PM**

_Firstly, Al isn't gay so he and I wouldn't fuck even though he is totally attractive (which I think you know?) and secondly... yes I'm gay, but I'm just wondering why someone like you would ever be interested in someone like me, and why you would just tell me all this, that I'm attractive and that you'd like to fuck me, even though we've never spoken? I've been through a lot of shit because of my sexual preferences and I came here to get away from it... I'm not planning to make a fool out of myself because of some pretty boy who says he is gay but really isn't :/ sorry _

**I'll Fuck You And You'll Thank Me 10:51 PM**

_I'm sorry I jumped you with it, it was't supposed to be like that... truth be told, I was planning on asking him about you... if he knew for real you know? (It was a joke about you and Al by the way...) But he logged off all of a sudden so I couldn't and gbcsxcbsudc jbcj dzxc... this is just turning into a mess because of course I can't convince you of who I am, right? You just see the sports car and hear the rumors, like everyone else_

Arthur felt his stomach turn slightly, because he knew exactly what it felt like when the only thing people did was see you for what they had heard and not for what you really where. It sure sounded as if John was the real deal, but of course, he could be having a girl there who helped him sound all sweet and confused. Why did it have to be so complicated though? Maybe it was exactly as he was saying? Then what would he do?

He sighed and put the computer on the bed. He didn't know what to say again and it just felt mean to sit there and read the text over and over. What he really wanted was to say that of course he didn't just listen to rumors or see the money instead of John himself, but how could he say that when it wasn't true? And that made him feel guilty as hell... If John really was telling the truth, not believing him would be just like everyone else had been towards Arthur himself...

He stood up and tried to listen, hearing if Al was on his way upstairs again. But the only thing he could hear was them talking in muffled voices downstairs. He sighed again and bit his lip hard while closing his eyes. A sudden rush of adrenaline, combined with his semi hardness (which had been troubling him for days) made him take a deep breath and rush back to the computer with smile on his face. At least Al knew about him now, and if anyone where to spread nasty rumors about him, he would have his cousin and Jody by his side.

**Mr. Nice guy 10:55 PM**

_Actually, I don't just see those things, or at least I wouldn't if I really knew you weren't lying to me right? Let's say I do believe you, what would you do? _

**I'll Fuck You And You'll Thank Me 10:57 PM**

_I'd ask you out and make us both comfortable... I guess? _

**Mr. Nice guy 10:57 PM**

_Thought you said you wanted sex and not a boyfriend John? Different things, those two ;) _

**I'll Fuck You And You'll Thank Me 10:58 PM**

_Well, I guess if you'd rather just come to my place and fuck we could do that? Haha... just didn't want you to feel like a slut or something, because you're not :/ And it sounded fucking evil when I even thought about asking you over to my place for some dick time? _

**Mr. Nice guy 10:59 PM**

_No, I'm not a slut, thanks for noticing ;) Besides, it would feel more like a job for a whore if we where to pretend you liked me and bought me dinner or what ever _

**I'll Fuck You And You'll Thank Me 11:00 PM**

_I'd say you read too much into things dear Arthur ;D At least let me get you some sandwiches after we're done? Or offer you my shower? ;) _

**Mr. Nice guy 11:01 PM**

_Who even said I was going to come over? ;) maybe I'm the one screwing with you here? Maybe I'm not gay and you just think I am because of the rumors? Maybe, Al really is fucking me right at this moment and there is nothing you can do about it? ;) You have no idea who I am or what I am capable of after all _

**I'll Fuck You And You'll Thank Me 11:03 PM**

_It would really be a nice touch though if I found out he had been fucking you while we where having this conversation ;) would have made it all so much more naughty, wouldn't it? _

**Mr. Nice guy 11:04 PM**

_Haha! How could this get more naughty? We're already talking about having sex here, aren't we? Or did I just misinterpret it and you just asked me out so that we could paint together or something? ;)_

**I'll Fuck You And You'll Thank Me 11:06 PM**

_You didn't misinterpret, and you're probably right ;) by the way, make sure you close the window down before Al sees this will you? Would be fucking embarrasing if he found out from someone else than me I think... he trusts me to tell him stuff after all and, you're kind of the only person that knows..._

**Mr. Nice guy 11:07 PM**

_And by now you must be feeling so good about it all, right? :) _

**I'll Fuck You And You'll Thank Me 11:07 PM**

_Actually I am... so thank you :) _

**Mr. Nice guy 11:08 PM**

_You're welcome :) look, Al is coming back xD I'll talk to you at school some day, ok? _

**I'll Fuck You And You'll Thank Me 11:08 PM**

_Sure! :D nice talking to you and sorry for not saying hi at the pizza place ;D _

Arthur just laughed and shook his head in wonder. Had that really happened? He shut the window down without answering and then decided that it would be best to just shut messenger of completely. He could always say it had been that way when he opened the computer. By the time Al reentered the room, Arthur was checking his Facebook with a grin.

"Welcome back, dear cousin" he said and put the laptop aside, as if he hadn't done anything suspicious just half a minute ago. "What did she make you do that took you so long?"

Al chuckled and literary threw himself on the bed, making Arthur squeal and laugh as he flew slightly into the air. When they had both managed to stop laughing, Al gave Arthur a quite tender look, almost as if he had never had a friend like him before, and answered.

"She made me clean the kitchen, since you and Lauren hadn't done a very good job before she left, obviously" he grinned and Arthur could feel his cheeks blushing at this fact. He must have forgotten that completely... he had left some dishes after all, not that much but still. "She had removed it all before baking, but now she figured I could tidy up all of HER mess, which I don't understand..."

"I'm sorry..." he tried but Al just shook his head and yawned.

"She always does that, and I don't mind, as long as you don't have to do it" he then explained, eyes still smiling. "Are you hungry by the way? There is newly baked bread buns and we can have some tea if you'd like?"

"I'd love that" he laughed back as his stomach grumbled. They both went downstairs, happily pushing at each other as they went, behaving totally childishly for a change, and how good didn't that make Arthur feel? He had just come out as gay for the one person he really wanted to accept him, and he had done just that, with a smile and the warmest hug ever.

AND he might also get laid soon! That might not be as good as the acceptance from Al, but it would definitely get these weird feelings away. For instance, he would stop getting so damn hard from just watching Al sleep, since he would finally get some sexual relief...

To Arthur, sex really wasn't everything. But there where times, like these, when sex was something safe and known. Something he needed to even calm down. Or maybe not really the sex itself, more the cuddling or the joint showers, the shared food and the laughed out jokes in bed. It was weird, he knew that, but when he had gotten serious with Francis, the best part of it had been just that... the way they had been together, in bed and at home, alone, just the two of them.

He was nervous though, about what it would be like to meet John on his own, if they ever would. Al had said he was an ok guy, but what if he was a total jerk? Or what if Arthur started feeling things for him in the middle of it all? When it was pretty obvious the guy wasn't gay enough to come out to everyone and endanger his reputation with a boyfriend.

"Something bothering you?" Al asked suddenly and Arthur had to look up form his thoughts, realizing his cousin was holding out newly baked buns for him. "You seem pretty distracted..? "

"It's nothing really" Arthur assured and took the bun with a grin on his face. He might have been ready to tell Al about his whole sexuality business, but he could not go so far as to start telling him about his potential shags.

"Oh, so it's about a guy then?" the other teased and Arthur's cheeks flushed in deep red within seconds. "Oh don't you think I know the look on someone's face when they're all horny for someone? Don't forget that I used to get around a lot until just recently"

"No it's not...ng... shut up"

It was so damn strange that he knew, that he joked about it as if he had always known. None of them really felt a need to talk about it that much either, just sat in front of Al's computer with bread and tea, laughing at weird clips on YouTube. It wasn't until way past midnight that they crawled into their beds, whispering jokes and trying not to laugh to loudly at the other's bad sense of humor.

"You know what?" Al asked eventually through the darkness, not waiting for Arthur to answer before continuing. "Even though we're very different, I don't think I've ever met anyone who I feel so close to as you..."

"That sounded gay..." Arthur smiled in his half sleep, not really having the energy to think the words through before saying them.

"I know I know..." the one up on the bed chuckled and turned to the side (or something else that made about the same sound). "But you really are like the perfect person you know? At least for me... or something..."

"Mh... I'm awesome..."

"No you're not, I am... but good night Artie..."

"Night..."

* * *

><p>ohhhhh so wait? Al was Ok with Arthur beeing gay? :D awwww (L) but what about this John person? Do you really think he was being serious? And will Arthur really have sex with him if that is the case? ;D read next chapter and find out! :D<p>

till then!

Codes


	12. Between you and me

It is what you all have been waiting for, right here in the twelwth chapter of My reason to smile! ;D can you guys guess what it is...? ;D

Hope you like the chapter as much as I do ;D a lot of stuff is going down people!

Still, there should be some spelling errors in this chapter, since I have not had the time to show it to my beta... but I hope you will like it just the same :)

**Warning!:** Let me just say one thing... PENIS! : haha... yes... yes there will be penisessss in this chapter ;D AND this is very **IMPORTANT!** There will be sex in this chapter between Arthur and one of my OCs. If this is not liked by some of you, which I know excists, the first scentense where the sex part starts, will be in bold type. **Like this**. I hope you will stay with me after this chapters as well.

**Disclaimer:** All rights belong to the creators of APH and for them, we all are extremely greatful!

Enjoy!

* * *

><p>Monday morning, Arthur woke up with a chill down his entire spine, a boner so hard he hardly thought he'd be able to do anything about it during his short shower time and the entire wait before he could get in there, the only thing he could think about was that maybe soon, he wouldn't have to do it in the shower every morning... Which was tiering. As soon as Al was done in there he hurried passed him with a quick 'good morning' over his shoulder. Because he had deliberately been pretending to sleep when his cousin got up, so that he wouldn't see the embarrassing bulge on his pants.<p>

The shower he took was hot for once, because he didn't want to cool down. He needed to cum as quickly as possible, cooling down would take to long after all. It was a blessed feeling almost, the spray of hot water and soap against his skin, the chill of pushing up against the cold tiles, cock throbbing and head pounding with need for relief.

_I wish... _he thought as red flashes flew before his eyes, his world blackening and the contrast between the cold and warm being the only thing he could feel. _I wish I still had you... behind me... beneath me... inside me... _

Stepping out of the shower was like getting slashed with cold water and he quickly dried his pale skin so that he wouldn't get too much goosebumps. He laughed as he heard Al sing down in the kitchen, to some stupid song coming form the TV or maybe the radio? His dick was already twitching again though, which was so annoying it brought him back from his listening. He pulled his underwear on and hurried into Al's room, getting dressed there with the rest of his clothes for the day; a nerdy T-shirt with X-men printed on it and a pair of almost too tight, black jeans. Looking kind of awesome, if it was up to him to decide.

"You coming or what?" he could hear Al shouting from downstairs and hurried his steps as he followed the smell of bread and tea. He was bloody hungry and he hadn't even noticed. That beaming smile was shining as he entered the room and he gave one back, taking the sandwich he was offered with a soft thank you. They had little more than ten minutes before they had to be at the buss stop. Better just to stuff your mouth with food and chew. He had made sure to bring a pack of gum too... you never knew if you'd have to make out sometime during the day.

"You're looking dashing today cousin" he chuckled as all pulled on a clean T-shirt over his bare chest. He had been walking around without a sweater since he had taken that shower and well, even though it had been a really hot sight, Arthur had tried not to look too much.

"I need too, otherwise no one will take me seriously" Al joked back and gave him a soft pat on the back before stepping out through the front door, locking it behind Arthur's back and then rushing together with him towards the buss.

It was packed full and it didn't take them long to get separated by the crowd, not that it was such a horrible thing now that Arthur had his own classmates to worry about. One of them was standing at one of the nearby windows, the only one you could stand by and they waved to each other as a sign of recognition before the other one moved so that Arthur could stand beneath him. They didn't say much but still kept close to each other as they pushed themselves through the crowd of people that lead them up the path towards the school grounds.

The classes where interesting though and Jody was sweet as always. They spoke in lowered voices about the younger guy he had been chatting with and Jody told him everything she knew about the guy, which was mostly rumors. She looked slightly worried about the fact that he was so rich to start with, saying that even if he was gay, he wouldn't come out like that to some punk he didn't know.

"Besides..." she whispered, somehow sounding a bit like Hermione from Harry Potter with the tone she was using. "...what if he is like really into bondage or something? I mean come on? He could have HIV for all we know..?"

"I know... I know" he smiled and took her hand softly in his own. "But I'm a big boy, ok? And I can take care of myself Jody... just let me at least see for myself what kind of person he is, before I listen to rumors?"

"Fine..." she sighed and gave his hand a hard squeeze. "As long as you call me if anything bad happens, kay? I am the only one who will know where you are anyway..."

"I will, I promise..." he smiled and bit his lip. "Now I need to go to the bathroom... sorry, but I can't really seem to get myself in check today..."

"You're so gross Arthur" she blushed back and laughed as the teacher sighed with annoyance when he asked for permission to leave. He laughed himself as he left the room and headed for the toilets with singleminded determination. He was already growing hard again, which was fucking weird, even for him. Had someone put viagra in his morning tea or something?

The corridors where empty and the school smelled newly cleaned after the weekend. He didn't know why but it always gave him prickles in the back of his neck to walk alone like this. As if there was always something following him, even though there was never anything there when he looked back over his shoulder. When he was younger, he had thought he was going mad because of it, but by now he had grown used to the goosebumps and the shivering cold, like breath over his neck. It was almost homy.

"You know, you're kind of visible when you walk around the school...for someone that would want to see you that is.." came a half taunting voice from somewhere behind him however and this time, Arthur was quite sure it was not his imagination playing him a prank. "...and I was hoping I'd find you here"

Arthur turned around slowly and felt his cheeks flush at the sight of ginger curls and deep green-brown eyes grinning back at him. The taller one was standing leaned against the side of the lockers at the far end of the corridor, where Arthur had failed to see him when he passed him by. This was just so damn embarrassing...

"Yes?" he asked back, facing the man with fake confidence. "And why where you hoping you would see me here?"

John gave a soft chuckle and shrugged, jamming his hands down his pockets before he started walking towards Arthur with determined steps. "Truth be told, I was just passing through, late for class, when I heard someone come through the corridor and it turned out to be you" he grinned and Arthur felt a pull somewhere below his stomach, taking some steps closer himself. He was at least being honest about it, a good sign maybe?

"And why didn't you just keep walking, John?" he asked back and bit his lip at the sight of that grin, the hands pulling out of those pockets and the deep eyes flickering in the light from the windows to the side. Oh fuck he needed this..

"Because I thought... maybe we could talk?"

"Talk?" Arthur questioned and raised an eyebrow, fake annoyance playing over his face. "You sure all you want to do is talk?"

...

Al groaned as his head hit the top of his desk. He had fallen asleep so many times this hour that he thought maybe he was sick? Having a cold or something? He had been thinking a lot though, these passed few days and maybe that had contributed to his tiredness? After all, he used to get tired during tests and stuff and during tests he had to think a lot. This wasn't the same kind of thinking though... he knew that.

The fact that Arthur was gay hadn't bothered him at all, quite the opposite. It actually made him calmer to know now that he knew at least one person who was gay. He hadn't really had anyone else to talk about it with and maybe, in a couple of days, Arthur would feel comfortable enough to talk more about it.

Being bi curious, or more like bisexual actually, Al had always felt the need to talk to someone like Arthur. Because he didn't quite know what to do about the situation. He knew there where bisexual and homosexual people at school and in the town as well. But how did you find them? What if he would prefer to fuck a guy before fucking Lauren? Not that sex was all in a relationship, but still... He had thought a lot about that part since Lauren had started saying Arthur was gay. There had been weird dreams about it too, about being with some random guy... rough hands in stead of Lauren's soft ones, strong arms around him, short hair tickling his chest, flat muscles against his own...

_Fuck... _he thought and let his head fall hard against the surface again. _Get out of my head! I don't need to think about stuff like that either since I'm already so FUCKING confused about all of this shit with Lauren... _

The teacher called his name and he pretended he had just fallen asleep again because what else would he do? Tell everyone that he was trying to get these male on male fantasies out of his mind? Wouldn't think so. He grinned to himself and started drawing some random circles on his paper before Lauren noticed and rolled her eyes at him.

"You really don't want to pay attention, do you?" she whispered and he felt a chill of dislike towards her in that moment. What did she know about if he was paying attention or not? Maybe he did that better if he got to draw something while listening? She didn't know him... and he wasn't sure anymore if she knew that herself. She might know the Al from school, the one who used to fuck her after practice, the one that was a jerk towards anyone but her... If she thought that was the real him then she could just forget about it. And go fuck herself.

_Sometimes I think it would just be better to be together with one of your best friends... no matter their sex. At least, they would know me enough to like me for who I am..._

...

"Wasn't really planning on just talking, no..." John answered, not standing further away than that Arthur would be able to touch him if he just reached his hand out. Which he didn't do. He wanted to hear it, from this man, that he wanted it. Or at least see some indication that he did. They where at school and they where vulnerable as ever but if he wanted this, he'd have to claim it.

"What where you planning then?" he asked and saw a mark of irritation and maybe embarrassment grown on the other's handsome face. _I've got you trapped, dear John... please tell me you're not trapping me as well?_

"I thought, since yesterday, you know what I'd want?" the ginger boy grinned and before Arthur could even react in other than a slight yelp of surprise, he was pushes back by strong arms agains the wall, his hands held up to the sides of his head and the hard wall hitting his back with striking force. The pain didn't at all bother him though and even if his dick was twitching and his cheeks flushing, he looked back into those orbs with narrowing eyes.

"I though you might tell me to clarify..." he managed to hiss out without his voice shaking. He needed to stay calm and collected. He had done this before. He didn't have to be all horny and crazy, like the dude in front of him. Oh fuck, who was he trying to kid? He was fucking hot, John, where he was standing with his soft grin and those strong hands keeping his body locked to the wall. Why had he failed to notice this when he had been at the pizza place? Maybe because he was not as hot as Al...? But he was, wasn't he?

"Why tell you, when I can show you?"

Oh no, he wasn't seriously going to...? But there was no more time to think of the best thing to because the other one had already decided what he felt like doing. Lips locked to his own and Arthur couldn't help the whimper as he thought he'd die, the feeling of warm, dry skin against his own, the taste of him so intoxicating he didn't even hinder his eyes to flutter back. The hands didn't let him go but he didn't really care anymore, except that maybe he had liked to wrap his arms around that strong neck of his but what ever, he didn't need to.

He could feel that strong chest against his own, chuckling as he whimpered again and his cheeks flushed even more. As he was going to try to break free with his hands, the arms holding him up slowly let him go and wrapped themselves around his torso instead, Arthur's hands looking for something to hold onto until he eventually decided that wrapping them around John's shoulders and pulling at his hair really was the best idea he could come up with.

The groan the other let out was more than a reward and Arthur felt a chuckle leave his own lips before he bit down on those soft lips, sucking at the bottom of the two while pushing his fingertips into the other's scalp with all the force he could master. This one liked pain, that was for sure.

He must be even more eager than Arthur as well, because by the time he had started to relax in the tight embrace, John's fingers where all over him, pulling at his T-shirt, his hair, his pants and just his skin, almost breaking it as he went. Arthur laughed a little and leaned his head back against the wall, letting eager lips kiss up his neck as slender fingers fondled with the zipper on his jeans. The fabric was harsh and rough against his cock and fuck he wanted to be somewhere else right now, where he could focus entirely on those hands and that burning hot tongue which was working it's way towards his mouth over his sensitive skin.

"John..." he gasped and grinned as he felt fingers already pulling at his underwear. "Not to... sound like I don't want this but, I think.. maybe we should do this somewhere else?"

The hands stopped a bit too quickly for Arthur's taste and he was left breathing heavily against the wall for a while before John had collected himself enough to even look up at him. His face was flushed and he was biting a swollen lip in slight shame, slowly pulling his hands back from Arthur's aching body.

"Yeah..." he said and smiled a little, his voice almost shaking with excitement still. "Do... ehm... do you want to wait until the end of the day or something...?" he then asked and bit his lip again, as if it was still hurting and he was trying to relieve himself of the pain.

"Are you kidding me?" Arthur asked back and grinned before letting it turn into a soft smile instead. "As long as you don't mind taking the day off, I'll follow you where ever you seem fit"

John seemed slightly shocked by this, but his face soon broke into a smile that looked so relieved Arthur could do nothing but stroke his cheek a little with a finger. He was kind of cute, this one. He seemed innocent in a way, when you spoke to him, even though his behavior in bed looked quite aggressive. It was a bit weird of a combination but he quite liked it. If that was the real him, that was.

"Then come with me... we'll take the car and be at my place in no time, ok?" John then grinned and Arthur felt butterflies through his stomach. Gosh, this was going to be interesting.

"Sounds good enough to me, see you on the school yard in five?" he nodded and quickly buttoned his pants over his aching dick. _Fuck I need to cum soon or I'll explode... _"I just need to get my bag from my locker and then I'm ready to go"

John nodded and they parted. The ginger boy ran the opposite direction to get his things, Arthur suspected, and he himself hurried as well, not wanting to spend too much time in school when sex awaited and his pants where so tight you could see his boner through the fabric. When he was at his locker he grabbed his stuff just as quickly as he had walked, then sent a quick test to Jody, telling her that he was going to skip class for the rest of the day and that if anyone asked her, she'd say he had felt sick and gone home. If Al then asked where Arthur was, she would tell him that he was going to fetch some things to sleep over at her place. He didn't even read her response when he got it, because he was already rushing down the stairs.

"You took long enough" John teased when Arthur joined him in the red car, the same car that the ginger boy had left the pizza place in. "I had almost started thinking that maybe you changed your mind and went back to your class or something"

Arthur just shook his head in response and gently reached out for John's hand, who was resting comfortably on the gear lever. "Would I really?" he then asked and pulled the hand with him, gently placing it over his own groin while meeting the other one's eyes with a wink as he saw John swallow when feeling the hardness beneath the fabric. "So just drive now, if you still can, and I'll show you just as much I don't want to be in school at the moment"

This really wasn't like him, and Arthur knew it. He might be this way when he was together with someone, joking about sex and things like it. But he didn't really care at the moment if he looked like a sex addict. He knew that afterwards, they could always talk and he could explain why he was acting this way. Right now he just needed it so badly he didn't know what he was doing half of the time.

_I haven't had sex since you Francis... _he thought while closing his eyes, pulling in a deep breath as the car was driven quickly down the streets towards the big condo, belonging to the Dawson family. _And I'm so fucking tired of always imagining YOU fucking me because it is the last thing I ever want you to do to me again... So I don't fucking care if having sex with John makes me into some kind of slut... at least, I won't be your slut anymore..._

"You ok?"

The question came with a softness of the voice which Arthur appreciated, showing that John actually cared and would get worried if something was wrong. He quickly opened his eyes and looked back at the ginger haired one with a smile, shaking his head as he did so with a "No, I'm fine, just hard" for answer. The other one seemed to forget for a moment that he was driving a car, going all stiff and flushed. Arthur laughed and shook his head with fake annoyance. "Keep your eyes on the road John" he then said and let his eyes fall to see if his words had made any impact and yes, there was something between the other's legs that had definitely risen a bit since a couple of minutes ago.

"Do you really want this..?" John suddenly asked and the question didn't even make sense to Arthur so he just wrinkled his forehead and waited for the explanation. "I mean... you're not just gonna shit me over when we're finally there? Like... you're not lying about being gay or anything, just to expose me to everyone as a gay perv or something?"

Arthur let out a relived laugh and shook his head as John stopped the car on the parking lot. He looked back at the pretty worried american and gave him a soft smile. "I was worrying about the same thing about you" he admitted and gently stroke with one finger over the other's hand. "But I wouldn't have come with you home unless I was serious, now would I?"

John looked a bit embarrassed but shrugged. "I guess... I mean, I do this all the time with girls but everyone expects me to do it so even if someone would say I was bad in bed or something, it wouldn't be a big deal... but if you came back home to Al and told him about this..."

"I don't think he'd mind at all" Arthur assured and took the slightly cold hand in his own for comfort. "You have a good friend in Al and I thing, that maybe if you got to know the real him somewhat more, you could be the best of friends... He wouldn't mind you being bi curious, bisexual or gay for that matter, any less than he minds me being gay"

"Does he know that you're gay? Cause it didn't sound like it over msn..."John asked, smiling slightly with a wrinkle in his forehead. It was obvious that he really wanted to believe what he had not heard about his friend. Maybe there really was someone out there who he could rely on as a friend and trust with his darkest secrets. However, he still seemed a bit worried that Arthur might just be screwing him over and that feeling had to go.

"I told him so, not that long ago" Arthur smiled, knowing that he was probably beaming light from his eyes at the moment. Coming out to Al felt like the best thing that had ever happened to him at the moment. "Listen, if you feel the least bit uncertain about doing this, I'm up for just sitting down and talk for a while? Both of us can make sure the other one isn't just gonna run the other over in the end? How does that sound?"

John smiled and nodded in agreement. He seemed calmer now and Arthur tried to wind his body down slightly before getting out of the car. His dick was still aching hard but if he had waited this long, he could wait a little longer. He could get a lot out of this little bonding session and he'd do his best to keep calm and act just like himself. He'd definitely show John that there was noting suspicious about him and hopefully, he would see the same in John.

_Fuck he looks like he's good in bed..._

The way up to the large house, filled with large condos, was lined with large Japanese cherry trees and bushes. The air around them smelled with sweet scents of flowers and even though there was a luxurious playground to the side, there where no children there to play. Everything seemed slightly surreal and he bit his lip in wonder. He had never been in a rich neighborhood like this one.

"This way" John smiled and gently took his hand as they where in the safety of the entrance door, quickly leading him up a couple of stairs with the excuse that the lift was broken (even though Arthur suspected he was just afraid someone would step out of it and see them holding hands) and eventually they reached a dark door with a small, engraved sign which read: _Welcome to the Dawson's_

Arthur felt a bit out of place as John turned the key in the lock. He was so nervous that he didn't know what to do with himself and without knowing it he started biting his lip again, nervous behavior.

"Well, here we are..." John smiled in a half sigh, holding the door open so that his guest could step inside without trouble. Arthur did so with big eyes and looked around in awe at only the large hall that opened up to him right inside. There was this shiny feel to everything he saw around him, as if everything had been neatly polished just a couple of seconds ago and he almost had to cover his eyes not to be blinded by it all as the sun was reflected in all the furniture and the floor. "Come, we'll go downstairs"

Arthur followed, hand in hand with his newly found companion, looking with marvel at all that he saw. The large sofa in the living room, which looked as if it never had been used. The big dining area where a gigantic chandelier was hanging form the sealing. It didn't look homy at all, this apartment, but they had class, that was for sure.

"This is my hang out place" John introduced as they had stepped down a wide staircase and through one of three doors they had come across. The room was almost as big as Francis' apartment had been, back in England, with a kitchen and a large bathroom too. Even here was a large sofa, big enough for at least ten people and a TV twice the size as Al's. The kitchen wasn't small either and since John had a key to the door they had just stepped in through, he could basically live down here and it would be like he had moved out already.

"It's so big..." Arthur couldn't stop himself from saying and John grinned while pouring some soda for him.

"That's what she said"

"Ha ha, very funny" he said sarcastically but took the drink with a thanking smiled before running off to look at the bedroom. He could hear John following him and there was something about this that made him even more horny. He couldn't really put his finger on why though so he just left his dick to ache in his pants while admiring the big bedroom. It had an own bathroom as well, with a shower in it and the bedroom itself had everything you might need in one. There was a large wardrobe, probably filled with clothes and the bed... the bed looked as if thought it could have been made in heaven.

"Try sitting on it if you'd like?" John said and nodded at it but received a chuckle and an eve from Arthur.

"You just can't wait to get me into bed now, can you?" He mocked and shook his head. Even though the thought was tempting as hell, they had agreed on talking first so talking was what they where going to do. John grinned back, even though the swelling on his pants had grown quite a lot again. With determined steps, Arthur turned and left the room quickly, not to jump the other one out of sheer lust. Well out in the 'living room' he sat down on the sofa and took a sip from his glass. John came right behind him and sat down himself, cutely hugging a pillow, maybe to hide his erection better than form just sitting down.

"So..." he then said and Arthur looked up from his glass where his eyes had gotten stuck. "What do you want to know about me?"

Straight to the point. Arthur blushed. He hadn't thought of anything in particular that he wanted to know about the handsome young man and since he hadn't prepared for the question it took him quite some time of thinking before he came up with anything at all.

"Who was the first guy you had sex with?" he eventually asked, even though the question was fucking embarrassing and he would probably just be laughed at and called a perv but he wanted to know, right? So why not ask? The reaction he go wasn't what he had expected either because even though John looked slightly red he just nodded as if the question was valid.

"His name is Gabriel, he's in Al's class at the moment..." came the answer and Arthur immediately got the image of Gabriel in his mind. The guy was a pretty shy one, always keeping to himself, according to Al at leas. He had blond hair and almost gray eyes, totally adorable and from Arthur's point of view he always looked lonely or sad. But maybe that was just because of the way his face was. "...we used to know each other pretty well back when we where kids, his aunt has a lot of money and he got to spend weekends at her place sometimes. His parents _didn't_ have that much money but they never accepted any from his aunt, they didn't like charity or something" Arthur nodded and drank some as he listened. The embarrassment seemed to have disappear a little as John spoke so he didn't feel that bad for asking the question anymore. "One day he came over and he told me his parents had been fighting, telling each other that they where gonna get a divorce... and he was all broken up about it, so I told him he could stay and that I wouldn't tell anyone he was at my place. We spent the night talking in my bed, which was smaller at the time, and by the time my parents left for some banquet or something we started making out..."

There was something about the way he spoke that made Arthur think slightly about the feelings he must have put into this one first time. He must have had sex with women before this boy, but somehow, when he spoke about it it sounded as if though this was the time he lost his virginity. You know, to someone you truly want to do it with? It was sweet, yet sad, because even though he didn't know how long ago this was, it was obvious that it hadn't worked out between the two of them... and things like that was always sad.

"It was his first time, so we took it slow..." John continued with a little smile. "It wasn't like we planned to have sex though, it just sorta happened... and I usually plan to have sex, just do it because I'm supposed to, not because I really feel like it... unless it's with a guy" he added with a grin and a flirty motion of his eyebrow. "Do you wanna hear the whole thing or what?"

Arthur shrugged and grinned back, even though he felt a bit sad still. Hopefully, this part of his life didn't hurt John as much anymore and it wouldn't be a big deal to talk about it, but it was really up to him if he really wanted to. "If you'd like to talk about it, otherwise we can just skip it and talk about ice cream flavor or something"

John laughed and nodded. "It's ok for me to talk about it, but I've never done it before, with anyone... talked about it I mean..." The confession didn't come as a surprise for Arthur and he just smiled with a nod, showing that it was okay if he wanted to. "Well, he was totally nervous and even hornier than I was... at least it felt that way. He tried to kiss me better but he wasn't very good, he tried to touch me but his hands where shaking and he was too harsh in everything he did..." he continued and the smile on his face was genuinely cute, almost loving. As if the memory was still very dear to him. "Eventually he stopped and started crying, saying he was no good and stuff like that... I held him for almost an hour before I could convince him that there was nothing wring in being nervous the first time... Then I showed him what to do and stuff"

"You seem to have liked him?" Arthur asked carefully, not wanting to bring up sad thoughts and memories. John nodded and smiled a melancholic smile, his eyes sad.

"Yeah, we went from being best friends to lovers, and from what I've heard, that is always a good way to go..." he answered and shrugged. "But not in our case. His parents searched for him all night and all day after, when he finally came home and told them he had been with me they where so mad and thought I was bad for him, we didn't see each other until school started up again that year and by then he told me that maybe we shouldn't see each other anymore... so I lost my best friend and more, but I guess I learnt from it... and he has a new boyfriend now, I think so I'm happy for him"

"You think his parents had something to do with him not wanting to see you anymore?"

"Probably..." John nodded and drank some of his own soda. "But since I can't really have a boyfriend anyway, which I realized afterwards when I found out my father had abused two gay men he saw in a rich man's bar, I figured it was probably for the best..."

"What..? Do you really think he'd beat you if he found out you like men..?" Arthur felt totally shocked by this fact. This poor guy... He couldn't have had a happy upbringing at all. Everyone who had good parents, even himself, would love to have an entire floor for himself but John, he just wanted to be normal.

"Yes, I don't think he'd even stay at that though" he shrugged as an answer and looked away slightly, as if not really feeling comfortable with the subject. "He'd probably throw me out and call me a disgrace..."

"Fuck him..." Arthur mumbled and felt a bit better when John laughed at that. "I mean, not that it's up to me, but if he ever does that, you can come live with me... or with Al, i'm sure his mom wouldn't mind it at least..."

"Thanks Arthur... that means a lot"

They fell silent for a while. Not an uncomfortable silence, because they where both grinning at each other and almost making stupid faces. It felt like sitting with a kid almost, as if John hadn't had someone he could really goof out with in a while. He reminded Arthur somewhat of Al too, because they where so funny both of them.

"So, who was your first?"

Arthur blushed and bit his lip. Well, he had known the question would come. "I don't remember the name..." he admitted and blushed at the look John gave him. "It was at a party... I had known for years that I was attracted to guys, and there was like this apparently straight guy there who took an interest to me... he started flirting and telling me how pretty I was, as if I was a girl. Haha I didn't understand it really though and one thing lead to another and yeah... there it was"

"Shit.." John exhaled, still shocked it seemed. "Did he hurt you? Like, was it rape?"

"No no no" he assured and smiled. "He was very careful with me actually, but it kind of hurt and I couldn't really sit down for a couple of days. Now that I think about it, I think his name was Thomas or something"

"Do you regret it?"

Arthur shook his head and drank the last of his soda. "I think I would have done it soon enough anyway, and I didn't get a serious boyfriend until much later so it would have been with a random person which ever way I did it"

"I guess most people end up loosing their virginity to someone that doesn't really matter..." John agreed and smiled. "I think I have had sex with at least twenty women who where virgins before I was done, and they never shared by bed again. Bet they only wanted to have sex with me cause I don't say no and they didn't want to be virgins anymore... not that I mind, just so damn tired of the whining"

"Whining?" Arthur grinned. "What do you mean?"

"They always whine so much, those girls.." John explained and chuckled slightly before continuing. "I mean, they want me they say but just for the night, still they get mad when I don't call them and if I never have sex with them again they think they where bad and stuff. And all I wanna scream at them is that I'd fancy a cock rather than their stinking bodies"

"Now you've got one" Arthur filled in and John quickly drew an almost startled breath. "A cock I mean" he clarified and the ginger haired one swallowed hard. He must have forgotten why they where there in the first place, or maybe he thought Arthur had changed his mind? That they would have sex another day perhaps?

"Yeah I, I guess I do" the other then tried to get out but his voice wasn't working really and Arthur couldn't hide the grin that spread over his cheeks. John was so horny and it was totally adorable that you could see it so clearly.

**"Tell me..."** Arthur chuckled and leaned closer, setting the glass down on the table as he moved. Noticing in the back of his min that John was doing the same. Smart move. "...just how much have you missed it? Having sex with a man that is?"

John swallowed again and it was clear his throat myst be dry as dust. He opened his mouth too but he couldn't get the words out correctly until he had managed to clear his throat. "I... well, I can't..."

Arthur laughed and nodded before smiling kindly. "I'm sorry for keeping you form it then... to be honest, I'm right on the edge here, hindering myself from jumping you and making a mess out of you."

A soft whimper left John's lips and that was it. Arthur was convinced and completely satisfied with the answers he had been given. There was nothing, at the moment, that would stop him from letting this one in and he wasn't really scared at all anymore. He felt his hands shaking as he stood up and walked away from the couch, totally aware of the fact that John immediately stood up to follow him. That was at least a sign that he didn't mind them doing anything in the bedroom so Arthur kept going, his heart pounding terribly hard in his chest the entire way.

"You have any... preferences...?" he then asked as they where inside, the door closing behind John's back. They where facing each other, the entire air seeming to tense around them. John seemed not to understand what he meant by it at fist but chuckled slightly when he got it. It only took a couple of nano seconds it seemed, for him to cross the floor and suddenly Arthur found his back against the wall again as if no time had passed since their time in the corridor.

"The only thing I want is what you would want to give me..." John said, not sounding at all as sure of himself as he must be sounding with all the lovely ladies he had taken here. Arthur felt his cheeks flush but nodded, his cock already starting to ache again, with doubled force this time around. "You should do what you feel like doing because honestly, I don't really know what to do anyway..."

Even though he was saying it, Arthur couldn't stop himself from grinning. John had his hands resting at either side of Arthur's head, biting his lip, face so close to his that they could breath the same air. His leg was twitching against Arthur's too, yearning to press up against him and fuck if he only would do it already. "You sure seem to be knowing what to do though" Arthur joked and felt a jolt of pleasure through his body at the softest touch of fingertips against his cheek.

"Nah..." John chuckled back and came even closer, the sweet smell of fruit flavored soda was just as intoxicating as some people find the smell of gum. "I just go with what my body wants me to do..."

"Then do that"

Soft lips met his own, eagerly but not too forcefully this time. Arthur could hear himself gasp underneath them but didn't care what he did right now. His fingers seemed to know exactly where they where going, as if he had practiced, going over John's body time after time in his mind. They soon found their way in underneath the soft fabric of the other's shirt and met warm skin that prickled immediately at their touch. John did seem slightly unsure of what to do with himself though and Arthur smiled into the kiss. He'd have to do something about that.

Gently, but with force, he managed to slide his hands up under the fabric and placed them against the strong chest he found there, pushing the other one back against the bed until they tumbled down on it. John seemed surprised but grinned and managed to get Arthur around on his back, hands pulling at his T-shirt until he managed to get it off this time. His green-brown eyes looked potentially greedy when they fell upon Arthur's pale torso and he could feel his cheeks flush even more.

"Fuck..." he groaned and tried to hide his face in a pillow he managed to get ahold on. He could hear John laugh and feel him pull at it, but he refused to let it go. This was embarrassing, more embarrassing than he remembered.

"Fine then" the ginger one chuckled and stopped with his attempts to get the pillow removed from his company's face. "I'll just pay your body some attention instead until you'll have to come out for air" And with that Arthur gasped and arched his back as warm lips where pressed against his clavicle. He could feel teeth through them too, groaning into the pillow as those slender fingers held his hip in position. Goosebumps appeared quickly as John chuckled against his chest and his burning hot tongue round itself an erect nipple to taste.

He seemed to like teasing too, that was at least one of the few things Arthur could think before his mind went completely blank. Teeth where playing with the sensitive skin of his nipple now while hands had already given up on holding him still and instead they where in the middle of unzipping Arthur's pants. The sound so arousing that his toes buckled and his cock twitched at the smallest of nudges.

The pillow had fallen to the floor and soon enough those burning lips where back, kissing him deeper now than they had done before, tongue caressing Arthur's with a slow rhythm even though they both where going mad with ecstasy. He could feel the hands tremble with the edges of his pants and his own fingers where shot down almost by impulse to help. They worked quickly and within seconds, without letting that gorgeous mouth go for even an instant, he had managed to crawl out of the tight jeans. John didn't even have time to react on it though before he was pushed up into sitting position by Arthur's cleaver hands.

"Clothes will have to go" was the only explanation the blond one gave, already unbuttoning the other's shirt and buckle, biting his lip as he went with both eyes and cheeks burning. "Fuck.." he said again as John regained the control over his body and gripped Arthur's hair tightly, jerking his head to the side before nibbling at the soft bend of his neck, right at the place where the blond locks stopped. Arthur grinned, closing his eyes in pleasure and arousal, fingers making their way down the soft skin of John's chest again, passing nipples slowly, with enough time to gently squeeze them between his fingertips, earning a gorgeously deep moan from the other.

It was strange to be doing this. John's body was so different from Francis', yes they where similar in some ways. But touching him was like discovering a completely new world with valleys and salty rivers he had never seen or felt before. The scent of him was sweeter and richer in a way than he had ever experienced with his ex-boyfriend and even though this was not his first time reaching down a pair of pants and feeling a cock inside, he gasped as he did so longing to hear the reaction from the man now nibbling close to his ear.

There was a low moan of pleasure right next to his ear at that very moment and Arthur could feel a sudden jolt as John accidentally pushed his knee in between them both, nudging at Arthur's already hard cock. The sensation was almost too much to handle for the poor englishman and he fell back against the covers with a groan, head spinning and body burning. He could almost feel John's eyes on his body but he didn't really care about the embarrassment anymore. He could look all he wanted as long as he did something about both their aching problems.

"Are you just gonna keep looking at me or are you g..." he stopped abruptly and with a gasp as he felt fingers against his cock through the fabric of his boxers. He wanted to open his eyes, see the expression on John's face but he couldn't. His eyes shut even harder as his boxers where pulled down and something wet was pressed at the slit of his cock.

_Fuck fuck fuck! _

He wanted to scream but couldn't, he thrashed over, half his body to one side as John moaned, probably from the taste of him but there was no way for Arthur to be sure. Either way, he wasn't fit to think at all anymore and his fingers where deeply buried in the sheets underneath him. He tried his best, in the state he was, to not move his hip up against the less experienced male, but it was so hard he almost fainted from the effort. John's mouth was so bloody warm and felt so fucking good around his cock that it brought tears to his eyes. He never wanted it to stop. How could he ever have told himself that he would do without sex? That was just crazy!

"You ok..?"

The warm mouth was gone and Arthur opened his eyes immediately, realizing tears where running down his cheeks quickly. He hurried to dry them away, nodding at the same time while trying to calm his breath.

"Yeah, I just..." he tried but had to breath again and smiled wider as John came up next to him. "A bit much all of a sudden, after all this time you know?"

"I see" the ginger haired one nodded and Arthur could see the blush on his cheeks, feel the other's hardened cock against his thigh. He hadn't lost the mood, had he..? But it didn't seem like it, because soon enough, his lips where close again and Arthur caught them, the taste of pre-cum strong and just as arousing as he usually thought it was. There where goosebumps down his entire spine and he smiled, licking his lips as John pulled away for air and changed direction, kissing down his neck again.

"You know..." he panted and groaned at the feel of fingers grabbing his thigh and turning him over on his back again. "Never mind..."

He could feel the vibration form John chuckling close to his skin, feel his hands reaching for his cock and the way he gently parted his legs. It was so different, it really was, but it felt so good he could die happy.

"You have no idea how long I've wanted to do this..." came a soft whisper close to his ear suddenly and Arthur was sure he'd stop breathing. The only thing he could do was nod. He felt naked skin against his own as John pulled his pants down, felt burning hotness against him, the sensation of a naked body close enough to wrap your arms around it, close enough to kiss and taste.

There was something in the back of his mind though, disturbing him, even though he couldn't quite put his finger on what it was. It wasn't a thought exactly, if it had been, he would probably have been able to realize what it was about. But it was more of a feeling... something bothering him as if though there was something wrong. At fist he decided that there was probably nothing to it, maybe he was just not used to suddenly be taken care of in this way... but as he looked up to send John a smile of approval, he was met by a wrinkled forehead and a worried pair of eyes.

"What is it?" he hurried to ask and felt bad about keeping his moans up for minutes without noticing something might be wrong. John bit his lip and smiled apologetically, letting go of wanting skin and scratching his neck as if saying sorry with his entire body and soul.

"My parents are home..."

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><p>OH NOW I WAS FUCKING MEAN! ;_;<p>

but don't you worry! I have next chapter almost compleated right at my side and I will publish it as soon as I have read it through (and hopefully some of you will have given me some reviews by then? ;D I live off of them you know ;_; )

But anyway... so John seems like a cool guy right? or what is he really like..? And what will Al find out about in next chapter that might change EVERYTHING! O.o find out if you stay with me!

AND I'd just like to say a big big big thank you too all of you who are still with me after all this time! :D I am so happy that I get such great reviews and so much lovely emails! Without you wonderful people this story would not have gotten a life! Because as J K Rowling said "No story is alive unless someone wants to listen" (L) Love you guys!

Codes


	13. Spirit fingers

Now first, before you say anything, let me apologize for the seriousness of my actions. I have gotten some reviews, form readers who are very disappointed with me for the way I have chosen to write this story. Of course, I am very thankful for these reviews because I appreciate when people tell me what they truly think about my work, not only when I hear good, but also when I hear bad.

I should have given you all a warning of what was coming at the end of chapter 12, I really should I am very sorry for not doing so (just so that you all know, I have now changed the text at the top of the chapter to warn off readers who would again get disappointed at me).

John was of course written for other reasons than to fuck Arthur, and I am sorry if some of you found him annoying, ugly, irritating or just plain and bloody useless. This was not my plan and I will make sure to worn all of you if there will be sex involving OCs again.

Having said this I hope that you all can forgive me and stay with me for at least another chapter? :) But if you don't, I'd like to thank you all for everything you've done for me and this fanfiction. Without you, we wouldn't be here.

**Warning**: This is very **IMPORTANT!** There will be sex in this chapter between Arthur and one of my OCs. If this is not liked by some of you, the first scentense where the sex part starts, will be in bold type. **Like this**. The same goes for when the sex part ends, so for those of you who just want to scroll past, it will be easier to see.

**Disclaimer:** All rights belong to the creators of APH and for them, we all are extremely greatful.

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><p>Alfred F Jones had managed to handle himself pretty well that Monday, to be honest. At least according to himself. He had only had a couple of times when he had fallen asleep and the other times his head had gone crashing into the table where because of sexual frustration so those times didn't really care. He had been thinking a lot though, so he might not have paid attention as much as his teachers would have wanted him too, but they where partly responsible for not distracting him well enough.<p>

His thoughts had been revolving about sexuality, mostly. He had never quite seen himself as bisexual, because it didn't matter that much to him if he slept with a guy or a girl. Of course the later of the two he was more experienced with of course, but still. It had taken him half of a lesson to scribble down everything when he was really supposed to do an essay on psychology. He didn't really care though, if he did the assignment or not because his teacher was one of the best ones he had.

_Essay in psychology - fuck noooo but I don't have an erasure _

_A.F Jones_

_Some people see themselves as either homosexual, bisexual or straight, even describe themselves with one of those three words and I'm starting to think that maybe there is something in that. Kind of weird but w/e. _

_For example;_

_Say you where a bisexual woman who had never had sex with another woman and now got married with a man. You know that you are sexually attracted to certain women, but you have no idea how sex with a woman, or a relationship with a woman would be like. Wouldn't that make you feel terrible? _

_Or what if you where a bisexual man and never have sex with a woman? You would certainly be called gay by everyone seeing you and your boyfriend together, even though you are attracted to certain women? And if you've never had sex with one, how do you know having sex with a guy is really what you want? _

_Or maybe you're gay and you know it, but you marry a girl just because you know it's what's expected of you. You might even get it up if you think about men with muscles or something and no one would even know you're actually gay. Or like in the old days, right? What if you met this girl and she was so very lovely and she fell in love with you. You like her so much and you propose to her because like, that's what you do with a girl you fancy. And then, comes the wedding night and there she lies, all pretty and fluffy with her entire body for you to ravish and you think to yourself "oh gosh, I think I'd fancy a sausage at the moment"... Then what would you do? Would you go on pretending till you're as gray as a dusty meatball or would you cheat and see someone else at the side? Of course you wouldn't cheat or even admit to yourself that you would fancy a guy if this was like a hundred years ago but still..._

_And what if you where a bisexual person but never even dared to try having sex with the other sex because you knew what people would think of you? How would you know that the person you are with truly is the person you want to spend the rest of your life with? Is it foolish to not even try to have a relationship with the other sex then? Or is the foolish thing about it all, that you are on the edge of breaking up with this lovely person just so that you can try to have a relationship with someone of the same sex as you? _

_I mean... parents. They stay together for like ever, some of them just because they got the other one pregnant. But what about the things THEY never tried? Aren't they sad they missed out on it all? Like, I'm pretty sure my dad's gay because he hasn't touched my mother for years, not even when he's sober and I'm not even sure he is my real dad. (ok I totally look like him but still). Then what if he's gay and never got to act out on it...? What if he's a drunken asshole right now because he never got to fall in loved and get to have sex with someone he would have truly enjoyed it with? Instead of my whiny old mom who goes around getting fucked by her boss all the time...? _

_Fuck this is too complicated stuff for me to handle and I'm just gonna throw it all away anyway. I just... Well. I think that if I'd never tried it with a guy, I would have probably told my wife that I was gay and left her because... I would never be able to just forget about it, you know? The feeling that maybe, if I try to have sex with that guy that is my damn best friend then maybe, maybe I would be happier than I am right now. _

Al looked down at the paper and nodded. While writing, he had realized stuff that he would never have even though about before. Like the part about his dad. He had never really even touched the subject in his mind. He had always thought that his dad's drinking problem was because of Diane, or maybe because of him and Matt. But as he had written the text it sort of fit, the thought that maybe it wasn't his and his brother's fault... maybe there was just something in his life that he had never done, but which was essential for him to do to be able to be happy. He might not even know so himself. Or maybe he just liked beer... Tough call.

He sighed and leaned back in his chair, closing his eyes and rubbing them slightly with his thumb and index finger. Wasn't school out soon so that he could go home and have a nice long conversation with Arthur? Maybe ask him more about this homosexual business because it was so interesting for a change. He didn't like to hear about relationships and stuff all the time, the kind Lauren and her friends where talking about. He wanted truth and reality... and he was quite sure Arthur could bring him some perspective on it.

Absentmindedly he pulled his cellphone up and groaned slightly at a text from Arthur saying that he would be sleeping over at Jody's place tonight. Great. She would get to ask Arthur everything about being gay and what he felt like when guys fucked him while he had to share dinner table with his mother. And yes, he was quite sure that Jody knew Arthur was gay, AND also sure that Arthur was the one who got fucked most of the time, not the other way around... depending on who he was with of course. Arthur would totally get fucked if he would share a bed with Al, that was for sure. At least he thought he would. He'd be more experienced with having sex with guys than Al was but that wasn't a criteria to get to fuck someone in the ass, was it? Why he was even thinking about it was beyond him.

"Al, lessons's over stupid" Lauren grinned as she seated herself neatly on his desk. "Have you been working?" she then exclaimed in fake horror and grabbed his paper with interest. "The end of the world must be nearing!"

"No it's not nearing!" he hissed and jerked the paper out of her hands. "The end won't be here until the end of 2012 so you'll just have to wait a while for me to start working"

"Not fair" she protested and tried to reach for the paper but he held it out of her reach with a grin of malice on her face. "I just wanna read and see how miserably you managed the assignment Al..." she then pouted but if she had really known him, she would have known that one wouldn't work very well.

"Very funny" he sighed and then made the piece of paper into a tight ball in the palm of his hand. "But I didn't do the assignment so now you know how much I failed"

"Fine then" she laughed and turned to leave, smiling widely at their professor as she went passed him. Al felt a bit bad about causing a ruckus in his classroom, especially after he had not finished his own assignment but Tom just smiled and shook his head.

"If you didn't write the essay, then what where you writing over there?" his teacher than asked and tilted his head to the side with a smile. "I've never seen you look so focused or committed to any of my assignments Al?"

He laughed as an answer and looked down at the ball of paper in his hand. He didn't know why it meant so much to him, but since it did, maybe he shouldn't really be throwing it away. Though there was a problem in keeping it and that was that Lauren eventually would get ahold of it. If she did, she would think that he would dump her and if he eventually decided not to do so, her finding the paper would be devastating.

"Do you wanna read it?" he then asked and saw the curiosity shine through those dark eyes. He knew that if Tom did read it, he might have something good to say about it, he always did. He might even know the feeling, since half the school thought that he was gay.

"Sure" came the answer and Al made his way towards his teacher, feeling pretty comfortable with handing it over to him. At least the guy wasn't homophobic, because they had had discussions in his class about sexual labels and preferences. That much he remembered from the lessons. "If you'd want me to?"

"Yeah, as long as you promise you won't tell anyone about it... and that when you're done, you burn it or something? At least don't bring it back with you to school, ok?"

"Deal" Tom agreed and gave him one of his calm, dashing smiles. "Now off with you so that your cousin doesn't have to wait all day for you to take him home"

Al didn't mention that Arthur was with lauren even though he wanted to complain about it. He could handle being alone for one night, even though he had grown quite used to having him around. Instead he just nodded and left the classroom with a soft smile. It would be fun to see his teachers reaction. Maybe he'd even find out if Tom was in fact gay or not. By the way, he had practice... _that_ he had totally forgotten.

...

"Oh..." Arthur sighed and bit his lip, not really knowing what they where going to do about the fact that John's parents where home. That must have been what he had felt was wrong at least. Good that it wasn't something else. "Can't we... you know, continue?" he then decided to ask and looked into those green-brown eyes with both worry and need. He understood if it scared him too, to know that his father would kick him bloody, kick them both bloody if he found out what they where doing though and maybe it was best if they stopped. "You did lock the door, didn't you?"

"No no no" John smiled and gently placed a kiss on Arthur's cheek while smiling. "We can go on, I promise" he paused and listened to the steps of his parents upstairs. "I just need to go and tell them that I'm home and not feeling well, mom won't wanna come near me then and my dad won't pester me about practice either"

"Oh, good plan" Arthur sighed in relief and bit his lip. He did feel a bit faintish from all the sudden pleasure and even though it felt as if though he was going to drop his cock, it might be good with a little breather.

"I'll be right back..." John excused himself, after calming himself down on his back for a couple of seconds first of course. "Take what ever you want from the fridge while I'm gone, I don't think I'll be long but you never know"

Arthur smiled and nodded, watched as John pulled a large T-shirt on and a couple of soft pants. His hardness was hidden underneath the edge of the shirt and his hair was pulled though with a comb to flatten the curls. "Looking presentable?" he asked and Arthur gave him a good look before giving him the thumbs up, he did look like he had just been resting because of a terrible headache, especially when he made the cutest wrinkled expression.

"Good luck"

The down stairs apartment became pretty quiet and lonely when the ginger boy left and Arthur decided that in an attempt to distract himself, he would walk around a bit. He could hear muffled steps upstairs but almost nothing of the voices that where speaking so maybe he could moan later on. He'd have to ask John about that... because he found it hard to have sex without being allowed to moan.

After just a quick look around he turned the TV on, making sure to turn down the volume in case his parents started wondering how the TV could suddenly have been turned on when their son was upstairs. There was nothing on really but when he had gone through all the channels he found a show that he knew Al had been talking about. It had seemed to be a pretty funny show so he might as well give it a try while waiting.

Not really paying attention to it though he pulled up his phone and read the text Jody had sent him. She had been a bit pissed off it seemed, told him that he had to think things through and all that again but he smiled still. She really cared about him and it felt so damn good to have a friend like her. He answered with a small reassuring text, telling her that everything was fine, that they had gotten on splendidly and that he really believed John wasn't a dick because seriously, the way he had been acting in bed, if anything, showed his true colors where of the rainbow kind.

He smiled. He had gotten a text form Al as well and it was adorable. He was concerned, it said, that Arthur was sleeping at a girl's house. What if she'd do something improper to him, like making him do laundry or baking cookies. It made Arthur laugh, because Al's text was almost the same as Jody's even though he had no idea where Arthur really was, and he was being totally goofy. He answered it in the same manner, joking about that she had already tried do braid his hair and put make up on him.

**By the time he was done**, the door to the downstairs apartment opened and John came back in with some candy in a bowl and a great grin on his face. "Look what I got" he smiled and put it down on the small table in front of Arthur. "My grandmother was here, she still thinks I'm a kid so she always brings me candy and stuff, it's awesome... and since they thought I was sick they said I'll have to be in here all day and not come out, so that I won't infect them with my germs" He laughed and Arthur smiled even though it felt weird that John's parents didn't care more about their son than to shut him in his room when he was sick. He didn't ask about it though, they could talk about it later.

"Well then, let's not keep the sensation of coming waiting then?" he suggested instead and stood up, already pulling of the sweater again and unbuttoning his pants. John seemed thrown of for a second there, not really seeming to fully grasp the void of his luck but then nodded and started pulling his own T-shirt off, revealing his freckled skin and erect nipples.

Arthur grinned and let his underwear drop to the floor. No one would come in here anyway and he didn't mind being naked, especially not when the one he was going to have sex with made such a lovely expression from seeing him like that. John even stopped in his movements just to be able to take a good look at what was standing before him.

"Fuck you're beautiful..." he then groaned and seemed to be in a real hurry when pulling his pants of because he almost stumbled out of them. Arthur blushed, not used to hearing it anymore, but felt awfully good about himself. Well, it wasn't every day that an almost complete stranger called you beautiful was it?

"You're not so bad yourself" he admitted and gave the other one a run over with his eyes, sucking in the beauty of the male body with every breath he took. Yes, John was a very attractive young man, but there was something only about the fact that he was a man that was arousing. He just wanted to touch and feel it all underneath or atop him (didn't really matter at all which he got) and fuck was he glad that he had never tried being straight.

"Well thank you" John grinned back, looking a bit more comfortable now, from what he had done in the beginning, even though he was naked at the moment. "Shall we?"

His touch was more intense now, rough in a way as he slowly let his fingertips run down the base of Arthur's cock, making him arch his back and moan for more (because he had asked if he could and John had said it was Ok to even scream if he wanted to because the room was basically sound proof). He had planted his fingertips deep in John's scalp though and was earning moans himself, but more form pain than pleasure he suspected. His cock was dripping wet, just barely touching the other's stomach as the man bent down over him, cock rocking against the sheets underneath them both which made him moan even more than from the pain.

There was a buzzing noise from the side of the bed, a phone ringing but none of them cared much about it. John's fingertip was already searching for that one spot which would make Arthur lose his mind and suddenly he did as a finger, slick with pre-cum, slid into him with a determined push. There was a hand around his cock hindering him from coming though and even if he at that very moment hated the hand and all its fingers, he understood soon there after that if it hadn't been there he probably would have spoiled a lot of fun.

"Let.. go..!" he panted, cursing on the inside as he realized how begging he sounded, but the hand didn't let go anyway and he would just have to live with the feeling of totally loosing control of his own orgasm.

Another finger joined the first one and Arthur's eyes rolled back in their sockets, fingers gripping the gingered hair tightly so that he wouldn't just suddenly fly off of the bed, because of all the butterflies in his stomach. John didn't seem to be able to hold it that much longer either though, because even though he had just been rocking a bit against the sheets, he was panting even more than Arthur himself.

"I don't think I can wait much longer..." he moaned and buried his face in the bend of Arthur's neck, nibbling with harsh teeth against the already flushed skin. Arthur let out a desperate moan and pushed his hip up against the fingers and the inviting body, groaning even more as he felt a nudge from the other's cock and heard the reaction it brought to the younger one.

"I'm not a virgin..." he then grinned and pulled John's face up from its hiding place so that he could look into those eyes. Fuck it was confusing that he almost expected them to be blue and not green... "You can do it anytime you want and it won't hurt me"

"Oh right..." John blushed and gave ha small chuckle. He had probably forgotten too, that this wasn't with someone else. Not that it mattered that much at the moment since they both where fucking horny. Their lips met again before John could say anything more and Arthur's eager fingers reached for the other's hardness, shivers of pleasure and anticipation racing down his spine as he felt warm, pounding skin underneath his fingertips.

"You want it, so take it" he smiled into the kiss, eyes closed and fingers gently guiding the other right, enjoying every moan the ginger haired one let out, every shudder leaving the other's body.

John did as he was showed, not hesitant, but somewhat shy at first. He hadn't done this in a long fucking while and it showed, but soon he was there and Arthur suspected it was his lust that guided him from now on, not his mind. His hands where firm again, rough against his skin, nails grasping tightly as kisses where showered down Arthur's abdomen and he was sure at first that John would start sucking him again, which would have been the end of Arthur's hardness... but he was just teasing obviously, since he was nibbling just at the side of Arthur's thigh, leaving red marks where he went, and not even touching his dick.

"Come on..." Arthur groaned and tried to pull the other one away in a desperate attempt, but John just chuckled. "I thought you couldn't wait to cum you idiot?"

"Sorry, just so damn fun to tease you..."

Suddenly there was a sharp feeling of pain, followed with a thrust of pressure that left Arthur in such an enormous amount of pleasure that he had to scream, his eyes flying open in a flash of red light, body shaking with want even though he couldn't cum like he wanted to, his body thrashing at the slightest touch from John's thumb, running down the slit of his cock. But there where no mocking words coming form the ginger haired one, because he was moaning as well, eyes closed and his left hand gripping tightly around the sheets as the other one made sure, in his own ecstasy, to keep its grip on Arthur's pounding member, not letting him cum just yet.

"God..." the blond one whimpered as the first shock left his body and he relaxed into the feeling. John was still above him with his eyes kept closed and Arthur smiled at the sight. He was probably not moving so that he could hinder himself from coming to quickly, but he didn't seem to understand that to Arthur, it didn't really matter if they kept going for an hour or just a couple of seconds more. He gently reached up and pulled the surprised teen closer, gently kissing down his neck while keeping his smile. "John..." he then whispered, softly into the other's ear. "Cum with me..."

The younger one let out a groan and tried to no, but was forced still by the deep kiss he was given. His hip moved again, making them both gasp for air and break apart, Arthur slowly sinking back against the pillows with bliss on his mind, fingers deeply buried in the locks of the other until he felt a sharp burning sensation somewhere between his thighs, followed by a low moan and the easing of pressure along his cock.

He had not control of his own body as his head was pushed back by the sudden sensation of climaxing, his fingers almost ripping to harshly in the locks of hair closest to them and his entire body arching upwards in seconds. He could hear the moan which left his mouth but the one coming from John was even deeper, taking hold of him and making him cum even more, the hot white liquid leaving marks on the other one's naked torso before he collapsed on top of Arthur's.

They lay like that for minutes it seemed, Arthur breathing heavily under the weight of the panting teen and John trying to get himself together quickly enough to get off of the other before suffocating him right there on the spot. Eventually he managed to roll off, leaving them both grinning on their backs, totally out of it but at ease.

"We have to do that again" came John's voice from somewhere in the shadows and Arthur nodded, grinning widely but not able to turn over to see the other's expression. He chose to just listen to the total satisfaction in his voice instead. That and the fact that he wanted to do it again was proof enough that he had liked what they had just done.

"Is it OK if I sleep here tonight then?" Arthur yawned, already falling asleep it seemed and he had no idea how long ago it was that any of them had spoken. He didn't get an answer though and he managed to open his eyes slightly, throwing a look at the younger one to see if he was alright. He was sleeping soundly as any kid and Arthur chuckled. **"I'll take that as a yes..."**

...

"He isn't answering..." Al explained to his coach and the man's face grew even redder than it had been some seconds ago. Al didn't really care though because he knew perfectly well that it wasn't HIS fault that John had not shown up for practice, nor that he hadn't called in sick or even told Al himself where he was going. If he left school for some reason before practice, he always used to at least send a text about it. "Look" he started again before the man got a chance to blow up in his face. "I've tried calling him like five times and he is not picking up, he might be sleeping since he might be feeling bad, what do I know? Besides, practice is over and I have no intention of sticking around just because you're telling me to call him over and over again... he's a big boy and he can take care of himself" With that, he turned around and left without at all listening to the shouts of curses or foul tempered sentences thrown at his back. He just wanted to get home and watch a movie, drink some coke and hope to God he didn't die out of boredom.

The text from Lauren, asking if he wanted to fuck her in the bathroom like old times, he had completely ignored when he got it. He was planning on texting her when he was already at home, telling her that he was sorry but his phone died before practice. He had therefore been very careful not to have to go back through the school and hurried towards the bus so that she wouldn't see him from the windows if she was waiting for him.

When he had successfully dodged every place she might be hiding, he pulled his cell up to see if he had gotten any more texts from Arthur, he had and he smiled to himself. At least Arthur could joke about it all as if noting was wrong. That was a good thing. He sent a quick response and then called the number to Matt's apartment. _Need you little brother..._

"Yeah hello?" someone answered at the other side of the line and Al was a bit thrown back by the fact that it was not the voice of his brother he heard. He must have waited too long because the person on the other side cleared his throat and sounded annoyed. "Hello? If you're just calling to shit with us again I'm fucking telling you to fucking stop it!"

"No no" Al hurried and felt a bit bad about seeming like a stalker. "I was calling for Matthew? I'm his brother, Al"

"Oh, sorry" the other voice smiled and told him to wait. A couple of seconds later there was a weird, ruffling sound and Al smiled as he heard the laugh of his younger brother through the phone.

"Hi, Al? Is that really you?" came his happy voice and Al couldn't help but get a knob in his stomach. It seemed as if though the first of July was too fucking far away. He couldn't wait to just wrap his arms around the little kid again.

"Yeah, it's me" he reassured and chuckled. "Who else would it be? How have you been kiddo?"

The journey home was not at all that bad when you had the company of the little idiot on the phone with you. The spoke about home, about the upcoming party after school ended. They talked about what Matt wanted for his birthday and what they would be eating, about how Matt was doing in school and the fact that he had started to notice form his mother's frequent calls that she was missing him.

"And how are things working with Arthur?" he asked, always so keen, hearing about it since their mother wasn't really telling him anything about it. It was always very sweet of him how much time he actually spent on idolizing his cousin which he had never met. "Is he still super awesome?"

"Yeah" Al admitted and grinned as he stepped through the front door, ignoring his mother's call to welcome him home. "He's giving me all these advices and stuff, totally cool, and he has a great sense of music style actually. I mean, not really that I would listen that much to punk, but he showed me some good stuff the other day that I quite liked... I think you'd totally like it"

"I bet I would" Matt said and Al was sure he was doing his regular, dreamy face. So damn adorable. "By the way, don't tell mom but I cut and colored my hair, haha!"

"I know you did, remember?" Al sighed and shook his head before walking up the stairs and slamming the door behind him, better to talk in private even though it made his mom furious, than sit in the living room and having to hear her yelling at him so that he had to hang up. "You called me when I was at a dinner with Lauren's parents and told me you would, you where drunk... called me gay, ring any bells?"

"Oh... I must have been totally out of it..." his brother responded and Al could hear the other guy, in the background, laugh his ass off, earning a "Shut up!" from Matt. "Look I'm sorry about that..." his brother than said and the sincerity in that voice washed all the bad feelings away.

"Nah, it's ok Mattie" he smiled back and lay down on his bed with a soft thump. "I think I might be hard for a guy anyway so it's totally cool to call me gay now I guess..."

That fact left Matthew silenced for a while before Al could hear a door closing somewhere and a lock turn. "Sorry, you said you where what?"

He smiled at his brother's shocked voice and shrugged, even though he knew perfectly well the other one couldn't see him. "I don't know..." he then admitted and popped a gum in his mouth before continuing. "I mean, I do like Lauren a lot but there has always been that part of me who wants to know if I would prefer doing it with a guy you know..."

Matt seemed to think it over, because even though he acted pretty idiotically at times, he was in fact smarter than both Al and Lauren put together. Maybe not smarter than Arthur though. "But I thought you said you _had_ done it with a guy before? Can't you just tell by that time if you liked it more or something?"

"Not like I even liked the guy..." Al admitted and sat up again, not knowing how to lay comfortably when talking about things like this. "He was a damn psycho... besides, you can't just have sex with one person in your entire life and think that the sex you have with him or her will be just like the sex you would ever have with someone else..."

"Then maybe, what you're looking for isn't another guy to have sex with?" Matt suggested and somehow it sounded as if though he had taken refuge form his friend in the bathroom or something. "Maybe what you really want is to be with someone else than Lauren? Or are you trying to say that you really are interested in another guy already?"

Al hesitated and closed his eyes. He had always wanted to talk will Matt about this, because he knew that his brother would always be there for him no matter what. But to go into details might be to go too far, even with him? He was in a great need of talking about it with someone though...

"I don't know if I' interested in a guy..." he finally said and rubbed his left temple. "I mean... yes, I think I will eventually have to break up with Lauren because let's face it, we always fight these days and I don't feel like having sex with her anymore... I don't even feel like hanging out with her and it makes me feel like such a bad person. She deserves someone much better than me who can really take care of her in a better way that I will... but I can't really tell her that, can I?"

"I guess not..." Matt sighed. "But maybe you'll have to because it is the way you feel? I've heard that if you wanna break up with someone, you'll just have to do it and tell them truthfully how you feel about the whole thing... And if you are falling for another guy Al, it means you're totally not ready for a relationship, at least not with Lauren... since you are falling for someone else."

Well that totally made sense. Al wanted to thank the younger one for the advice, but he could hear him talking to his friend again, both of them laughing at some lame joke that only people their age (which was just a couple of years younger) would find funny. So instead of becoming all emotional he excused himself and lied about their mother calling for him downstairs. He promised Matthew though that he was going to call him back soon again and then that was it with the conversation.

When he came back downstairs, his mother was putting left overs of the meatloaf she wad made in a plastic container, she seemed a bit angry at something which he could only guess what it was and he didn't feel the urge to ask her about it.

"Where is your cousin?" she asked when he was about to make himself a sandwich, because clearly the food had not been for him. He didn't answer her right away, mostly because he didn't know what to say. She didn't like it when her own kids spent time at friend's houses on school nights and Arthur wouldn't make any difference.

"He's at a friend's house" he then admitted as he was pouring hot water over his tealeaves. "He texted me at lunchtime or something... telling me they have some big test coming up and they needed to study for it" he then added, lying for the sake of his cousin's ass.

Diane's mouth tightened around her teeth but she only nodded back at him, knowing that it had not been his fault for the kid to run away at least. "I'm going out with the girls" she then said as if the previous conversation never happened. If you could even call that a conversation. Al knew she was lying but he didn't care. She could think she had it all planned out the way she wanted it but one day he would use it against her if he needed to, and he wouldn't feel bad about it at all.

"Have fun" he just smiled and she looked genuinely surprised but happy at this small proof of affection. He rarely did smile at her, he realized and therefor smiled some more. "I'll make me some dinner so you don't have to worry about me"

"You can take some of the meatloaf if you want to honey" she purred and gave him a wet, lipstick kiss on the cheek before advancing to the door and off she was... to see some creep with a lot of money and a tiny cock, probably. Or maybe it had to be big to satisfy her and her ginormous ego.

He didn't touch the meatloaf. Instead he took some more bread and seated himself in front of the TV a couple of minutes later, satisfied with the little he could master on his own. He wished he could get out of this house soon enough. Maybe he should have gone away to study somewhere else? Instead of getting stuck in this hell hole... but then he wouldn't have met Arthur and that would be pretty heartbreaking.

By the time all the movies had ended and a thousand boring series had begun, he had swallowed too much tea and coke for his stomach to be feeling very well and the plate of sandwiches lay empty before him. He sighed and looked around for anything funny to do but there seemed to be nothing... there where no movies he had never seen before, no movies he hadn't even seen less than two times, there where no video games that he wasn't fucking tired of and his head was hurting. Sleep maybe?

He got up and took the staircase in some quick steps, misjudging the last one and fell only to quickly get up again and brush invisible dust off of his clothes as if nothing had happened. Well in the comfort zone of his own room he looked down at the empty madras on the floor and moped a bit about the fact that he was alone again. He might as well make Arthur's bed so that I would be comfortable the next night when he was going to sleep in it again.

The sheets smelled like deodorant for men and Arthur. It was actually pretty amazing that the scent stayed in the fabric for such a long time after you had actually slept in it. It made hi wonder what his bed smelled like but he realized as he buried his nose in it that it smelled too much of Lauren for his taste. How could he not have noticed that the night before?

Oh right, him and Arthur had been lying up, talking all night so he had probably been distracted by that. He didn't have the energy to change sheets in his bed either, so he sighed and slithered down onto the madras below, wrapping himself in soft sheets which smelled like Arthur. It was comforting... like when the other one had hugged him when he had been out...

His phone gave a buzz and he instantly pulled int out of his pocket, it was otherwise positioned too close to his dick. He had been hoping it would be from Arthur but the remembered that he had forgotten to answer Lauren about his cell losing battery. He sighed and gave her a call, she seemed totally pissed of.

"You're such a fucking dick head, do you know that?" was the first thing she said to him when she answered and he didn't even bother to talk back or answer her, knowing from the deep breath she took that she had been saving up for this. "First you don't answer me for hours but I think, hey, maybe he was just held up at practice, then that maybe something happened to you and you are lying hurt somewhere or that your cell is turned off or something... but then I get a call from David, saying that you said you don't even care if I stand here naked and wait for you all evening, is that true?"

The silence that followed hurt his ears. He closed his eyes and just wanted to sink deeper into the smell of someone else but her, but her angry breathing hindered him from it. "I never even talked to the guy about it Lauren..." he eventually said, as her words had sunk in enough in his brain for him to fully understand them. "The coach was furious because John didn't show up for practice so he had me call him like a thousand times, even after practice was over... I was so totally tired when I finally left and then Mattie called me... I would have called you as soon as I hung up but my mom went bitching about Arthur not being home yet and I fell asleep in front of the TV when she left. I'm sorry..."

She was quiet for a couple of second, seeing to think his words though but then she sighed. "I'm sorry too baby..." she said and she really sounded as if she was telling the truth. "I just got so disappointed because you didn't show and didn't give me an answer either... and then that perv showed up at the bathroom after calling me and said he could fuck me instead and I was totally creeped out... tried to call you but I guess you where talking to Matt then because I couldn't reach you..."

"I'll kick his ass tomorrow..."

"It's really ok Al..." she assured and he could hear her smile. "I kicked him in the balls and told him to back the hell away from me so I don't think he will have such a good time with his girlfriend tonight anyway. That's satisfying enough for me"

"You're so evil.." he grinned, even though he didn't really feel the pride he should be feeling about his own girlfriend taking care of herself in a situation like that, especially standing up to a guy like David, he was huge. He pushed the non existing feeling away though and kept listening to her talking about what she had done since she came home. She had been pissed of course but he could hear that she had forgiven him already, since she was laughing at her own foolishness (she had trashed a teddy he had given her at a fair once).

"So what are you doing now..?" she asked after a while, her voice soft and cosy in his tired ear. He sighed a little, cuddling into the sheets entirely before answering, starting to remove his clothes.

"I'm lying naked in my bed" he lied and chuckled at her playful gasp. This was the least he could do for her after leaving her completely alone in the dark school. "What are you doing?"

She laughed a little, keeping quiet so that her parents wouldn't hear her he suspected. She'd never said anything about things like that. "You're so naughty Mr." she answered and he could hear her shifting, maybe listening for someone, as if suspecting her mother by the door. He had never thought about stuff like that before. The risk of someone finding out about it was more arousing anyway. "Well, truth be told, I'm in my bed too..."

She was moaning just seconds afterwards, her frail, trembling voice sounding distant to him at first. When he finally realized he hadn't been paying attention, just moaned with her as if on repeat, she was on the edge of coming it sounded. He smiled at the thought that maybe there where other's like him, who had phone sex and just pretended to cum, pretended they enjoyed it so that the other person could have their fun.

"What are you thinking about baby" she suddenly gasped and he bit his lip, letting out a soft moan just to buy himself some time. What did he usually think about while doing stuff like this? Well, usually he would jerk off and the words would come automatically but seeing as he hadn't even pulled his boxers off...

"You baby" he answered, hurrying to at least start stroking himself. He knew he'd get hard quickly. After all, having sex with her was still good so he could just think about that. Or maybe he'd think about having sex with a guy this time. He had thought about it a couple of times and that had set him off pretty quickly. And when the thought was there, he couldn't get it out anyway so he had to just go with it. "Your fucking hot body..." he mumbled which caused her to moan again.

_Rough fingertips against my skin... _

"Your soft lips kissing mine..."

_Someone holding me much tighter than she does... Hands touching me where the best spots are because he knows where to touch... he's done it before... _

"Tell me more baby" she gasped and he swallowed. It was best to try to keep the thoughts calm and composed because they would otherwise run away from him all too quickly. She was moving a lot, probably looking for something in one of the boxes with toys, that woman must have everything. She suddenly started moaning again and he took a deep breath before gently letting his thumb slide off the tip of his cock.

"Your lips around my cock baby..." he gasped and felt his head spin with images.

_Hands gripping my hips, pushing agains me... taste of sweet and salt in my mouth, fingers slick and warm against his body... Oh fuck I don't even care if this HE would want to fuck ME... he can have his damn fingers inside me for all I care..._

He took a deep breath and bit his lip, eyes closing at the hot sensation pounding through his body. She was on the edge, but she had drawn it out so that she would be able to hear him more, he knew that. She always wanted him to moan, but to be honest he had mostly been moaning for her sake anyway. Moans didn't come naturally for him in that way, not like they did with her.

"What do you want me to do for you baby?" she whispered, so close to the mike that he could hear every breath she drew, like a storm against his ear. He didn't like this whole "baby" crap anymore either. It didn't really sound as if she was thinking about him when she didn't even call him by his name. But maybe that was what people do when they where in bed with each other, so that they wouldn't say the same name by mistake.

"Blow me"

_Fingers inside me... _

They slid in easier than he would have imagined, causing a jolt of both pleasure and pain to surge though his entire body, starting at his spine, quickly to reach his brain like a cold bucket of could water.

"Fuck..." he moaned and bit down on the sheets, the smell suddenly so overwhelming that he almost came, eyes rolling back in their sockets. She said something but her words where lost to him and she didn't get mat so she probably didn't even care. He hardly dared pushing them further in, but he tried a little bit, moaning even more and wanting to faint from the sensation because FUCK it was good. Within seconds he lay there panting for air into the pillow smelling of hair gel and Arthur, smiling more than he had in hours, cum spilt in his hand and on the sheet underneath him, too tired to move anymore.

"Was that as good for you as it was for me?" came her shaky voice and he could not hid his chuckle before he answered.

"You have no idea..."

She laughed a little too, then yawned. It was obvious they both needed their sleep and she said goodnight just a couple of seconds later without them exchanging any more words. That was the nice part about Lauren; sometimes she just understood him. And if she just understood him enough then, she was perfect.

He lay there for a while with the cell in his hand, not quite fully grasping what he had just done or how fucking good it had made him feel. He looked down at the phone in wonder and then threw it aside, grinning down into the pillow again, the room now smelling of cum as well. He hadn't thought much about the smell before, but surely he liked it...

"Good night Arthur..." he whispered, mostly out of habit since he knew he wouldn't get an answer anyway. It felt comforting though, to at least get to say it and then pretend the other one had just fallen asleep. The smiled didn't wipe from Al's cheeks even as the minutes passed and sleep started taking him. He yawned and pulled the blanket tighter around himself, not bothering to close the window which had been open all day. This had been a good day, even if Arthur had not been much in it. It would have been better if he had been though.

...

Arthur woke up sometime in the middle of the night, totally sore and his head aching. He should really have taken a glass of water before just falling asleep like that. There was sticky white stuff on his stomach still, kept sticky by his body heat against the sheets. He sat up and felt completely awake, touch shit to have to go to school today and all. He rubbed his eyes and tried to see something in the dusk but there was nothing he could focus his eyes on, eyes which felt dry as deserts with eyelids heavy as led.

He got up quietly, not to wake the sleeping boy next to him, who was hugging a pillow sweetly. He didn't need to wake that one, who had told his parents he was sick and would probably not go to school today anyway. Arthur chuckled at the thought and then rejoiced at the fact that all his clothes where still on the floor in the living room outside. That meant he wouldn't have to look around so much in the bedroom for them, causing so much noise that he'd wake the younger one up.

Quietly he left the room and started dressing, feeling the chill from an open window as he did so, goosebumps covering his body instantly. He had quite liked the sex they had shared the night before. There was nothing wrong at all with how John did things in bed, quite the opposite, but it had felt weird in the back of his mind. Which he of course had tried to ignore while they where in bed together. Maybe it was because he didn't even know the guy that well, but that had never stopped him before.

When he had gotten dressed properly and found his bag, he wrote a quick letter to John and left the small apartment. Well upstairs he half panicked since he couldn't remember the way out but soon enough he was outside the front door, out the entrance and heading away from the rich neighborhood. It gave him the creeps somehow, being around rich people. If anyone saw him they would probably think he was a rapist or something, maybe a prostitute, call the police on him.

_Fuck... _he suddenly cursed inwardly as he walked down the street, knowing which way he should take to get to the school at least. _I have to write Francis that damn letter or he will definitely find me... _

* * *

><p>Now I hope the ones who didn't want to read that sex part managed to jump it well in time before your eyes got burnt? I am sorry for it, truly but it is essential to the storyline and I could not remove it, even if I lost all of my readers.<p>

__So anyway,

There are a lot of unanswered questions in this chaper, I am sure, questions which would take me years, or at least page after page to answer for you ;) for example; what will dear Tom say about the paper his student just handed in to him? And will Arthur come home and find Al sleeping on his bed? Will Francis find his ex lover or will Arthur finally get his act together and face his past on his own? There are so many questions and so little time ;)

_Hope I'll see you in a couple of days. _

_Yours truly, _

_Codes  
><em>


	14. Darling I hate you

Hi again you guys, I'm sorry I've pushed the publishing of this chapter a bit, it has been done for some days now but I had a lot to do and all of a sudden I was already writing the next one before realizing I hadn't even published this one yet XD my bad

Anyway... I hope you guys liked the last chapter I posted and still enjoy the building of this story. I realize now that maybe it is going to be a bit longer than I had originally planned but I hope that doesn't set you off ;D

There will be a character in this chapter, Daniel if you remember him? he is the teacher who took care of Arthur at the beginning of term. No, not Tom but the other guy? The one who had tea with him even though Arthur didn't say anything really? I just wanted to give you the heards up in case some of you had forgotten about him :D there is so much going on in this story that I don't blame you :) I have promised some people however that there will be no more confusing OCs ;D just so you know

Hope you like this chapter and leave a comment :D and if you totally hate it... leave a comment and tell me ;_; (L) I want you all to be happy!

**Warning**: You all should know by now that there are dicks and stuff in this story 8D just reminding you that it IS in fact a yaoi you are reading

**Disclaimer:** All rights belong to the creators of APH and for them, we all are extremely greatful. (L) and will be forever and ever!

* * *

><p>"So how was it?" Jody asked as she came to sit by his side in the corridor, not at all seeming to notice how tired he looked. Or maybe she just ignored it. He smiled slightly and leaned against her side, been sitting on the floor for over two hours and her shoulder was softer than any pillow to him right now.<p>

"Good" he answered after a while, when he knew no one else was listening to their conversation. Why would they? He was gay and now everyone seemed to know so what did he have to lose? He felt bad about the fact that John wasn't out yet though. His life would probably be tough for a while if he came out to everyone, but eventually he would be able to be with someone he would really enjoy spending his time with instead of pretending. If only something would convince him that that would be for the best... But Arthur knew he couldn't be the one to do it... "We talked a bit, had sex and then fell asleep..." he continued and yawned tiredly. "And I left about half passed five this morning... walked here"

"You walked here? From his place?" she asked and sounded shocked but he just nodded and yawned again. Gosh he really needed to sleep some more or he'd die from lack of it. She seemed to understand though because even if she sighed and shook her head, which he could feel though her shoulder, she let her knees drop so that he could rest his head in her lap. "Sleep some... we don't start for about half an hour anyway" she then said and gently let her fingers run through his hair. "I'll wake you, but don't think you're off the hook about this..."

"Thank you Jody"

"Don't make a habit out of it" she smiled and patted him gently, but a bit hesitantly on the cheek. "That's all I ask"

...

Psychology. First thing in the morning. Fuck. But there was nothing he could do but to bite his teeth together and chew. He had handed Tom that paper out of his own free will and even though that might have been foolish of him, he would have to take the consequences.

On his way though the corridor he came across the most adorable sight with his two, at the moment, favorite people, sitting cutely outside their classroom; Jody with her history book opened, reading some homework while her hand absentmindedly was stroking through Arthur's hair, the blond one was apparently sleeping soundly in her lap.

Al waved a bit at her when she looked up and she smiled back at him with her cute face shining. He pointed at the sleeping teen in her lap and she nodded with a grin. None of them needed words to know that Arthur was fucking cute when he slept soundly like that.

He then hurried of to his own classroom where Lauren was waiting for him with a big smile which he returned. She was looking dashing today, probably because of yesterday evening but he didn't want to take all the cred for her being pretty. He gave her a gentle kiss on the cheek before following her into the room, throwing an eye at their teacher who told them both "hi" but didn't seem to be thinking anything different about Al. Hadn't he read the paper he had given him the day before?

Al didn't even know if he was disappointed or relieved at this. He would have found it nice to talk to someone about all the thoughts threatening to tear him apart, but at the same time, it would have been embarrassing if Tom had read it an given him strange looks like if he was disgusting or something. Not that he thought Tom would judge like that, but still. You never know.

The class was divided into pairs, sent away on small missions though the school as soon as class started, and when more and more people started disappearing after their names had been called, Al started realizing that there might be something weird about this. Lauren was picked as one of the first pairs to go and all the others that Al would usually go with where as well. When there where no one but him and two others, they got to go and since they didn't much care for Al, they didn't even notice he was left alone with their teacher.

"Wasn't this a bit obvious?" he asked as the door closed behind the last ones and Tom looked up with a smile form behind his desk.

"I have no idea what you're talking about Al" he smiled and took his glasses of, putting them on the table in front of him. "Come and sit up here?"

Al did as he was told. Or asked, more like it. So Tom had read the letter after all? Well, this was what he had been both dreading and looking forward to so he shouldn't be complaining. Instead, he sat there and waited for his teacher to finish what he was doing. There was no need to rush it, the other students had been told they could take a break when they where done anyway.

"You have a lot of thoughts in there Al" Tom finally said and turned to him with a soft, almost worried smile, fingers pointing at his own temple. "Ever thought that maybe you need to talk to someone about all this..? And then I don't mean about the fact that you feel like having sex with a guy rather than the girl you are dating. But about your father? The way things are at home?"

Al had not been prepared for that question. He had thought they would spend a lot of time talking about his sexual preferences, not the fact that his dad was a damn drunk. He shrugged after a couple of seconds though. "I've lived with it for a while so I don't think much about it, dad keeps to himself anyway so it's not like he is violent or anything, not anymore at least... I don't think he wants to hurt us, so he just stays in his room to keep out of trouble or something"

"And what do you feel about this whole thing with your mother?"

"The fact that she's cheating on him with her boss or something?" When Tom nodded at this Al shrugged again and grinned. "It's her life, and I would have cared more if she got pregnant or something... I mean, at the moment she is just happy and kind of nice, compared to before she started seeing other guys, guess she should get a divorce but no one seems to mind it... If she is happy she doesn't make my life into a hell so I guess for now it's ok. If she found out all this about me and my weird thoughts I think she'd be mad as hell though, lover or no lover"

"Do you really think your thoughts are so weird for a kid your age?" his teacher asked but continued before Al could protest. "And I don't mean that this is some kind of phase you will out grow, I meant that people your age are in the middle of discovering themselves, I found out a lot about myself when I was in school, that my parents might not like about me but I don't see them as weird for that, the things I found out I mean"

"You mean that you are gay?" Al asked boldly, almost expecting a laugh or a glair from the older man. Talking with him like this made it feel like he was more of a friend that a teacher. Maybe he shouldn't have asked him that though. It might be a bit to personal for a student to know about his teacher after all.

"Yes" came the answer though and Al looked up in surprise from where he had been looking down at some books on the table. "That amongst many things... and even though they got really mad at me, threatened to throw me out of I didn't 'change my mind' I didn't let it drag me down or change me. I'm not saying that you should defy your parents or break up with your girlfriend... just saying that if you are not sure, you never devote yourself completely to her, nor be honest with your parents... and it's better being honest to yourself and those around you, than to lie until you don't know what's up and down anymore... because when you've lied too much in your life, you start to forget who you truly are"

...

_Francis, _

_The only reason I am writing you this letter is because of the threat you left at the end of yours. I do not want you to come here, I do not want you to come crawling and this you know. Why you would even try to tell yourself anything different is beyond me, and it sickens me really, to know that you're telling yourself you are innocent in all this. Which we both know deep down that you are not._

_I know perfectly well that you could never accept my decisions and that is why I felt the need to move away, not to stay away from you exactly, but to make sure you never get to me again. How you feel about me moving does not concern me and to be honest, I am quite shocked I didn't hear from you sooner. That you ask for forgiveness comes to no surprise to me, but that you seem to believe you still have some power over me is even more shocking than if I where to hear about my mother falling in love with a woman. _

_And don't you 'My love' me Francis. You lost that privilege as you bashed my face in with that eager fist of yours, or why not when you broke my ribs first or second time? Darling, I can look at myself in the mirror perfectly fine, and don't you dare tell me that I am the one who needs to grow up or change. My reflection is smiling back at me, what do yours do if I might ask? Does it even reflect the person you have become? _

_Leave me alone Francis. You know you're not welcome and if you where still to come here and ask to talk to me, I will seriously send your sorry ass to a fucking hospital and do you know how little help you will get from a hospital here in the US? That's right. So you better think again before you bloody risk your balls coming here. _

_Arthur. _

He sighed and read the letter thought again and again, finally handing it to Jody who read it through about as many times as he had done before she handed it back to him with a wrinkle of worry between her brows. He hadn't told her much about what the reason for his and Francis' break up had been, but she had guessed here and asked there. This much she had understood from pictures of Arthur which she had found on Facebook mostly.

"You don't think he will be provoked into coming here if you write things like this...?" she finally asked and Arthur felt his stomach dropping. To be honest he didn't know at all how Francis would react to a letter like this. He always used to know how the man would react, back when they where together but he had lost the ability quickly after they broke it off... He might let it go, but that seemed somewhat impossible since the man had been obsessed with the very thought Arthur since years back. "I mean, he seems to think that you're the one to be blamed for what happened..."

"Yeah, that seems to be the case..." he sighed and buried his face in the palms of his hands, shaking his head slightly before pulling ta his blond locks. "But I have to write back to him, it's better if he just writes to me than if he decides to come here and beat me up again..."

"Did he do that a lot...?"

She hadn't dared asking him before and he didn't blame her. Not that it was the best time now when they where sitting in the middle of math class, but he should have just told her earlier and she wouldn't have had to worry about it before. He shook his head and looked down at the letter again, remembering the soft, curved letters on the text he had gotten earlier form his ex lover. Those hands had been so warm to him, so comforting...

"He wasn't a very good drunk..." he half whispered and then smiled at her terrified expression. "He didn't hit me he just... well, he got very horny and sometimes he went and had sex with someone else when I wasn't there. He didn't seem to think that it was such a big deal, since to him, it was just sex and it didn't mean that much anyway..." She looked so upset he had to grin and then took her hand slightly to calm her frantic heart from breaking with anger towards the man she had not even met herself. "I confronted him about it quite some times but he didn't seem to want to do anything about it, he said that he loved me and would never love anyone else but that he didn't care about whom he had sex with and that I shouldn't care either. Stupid as I was, I couldn't leave him of course... But one day I decided I would do the same, just to show him how fucking hurt you get when the one you love choose someone else's body before your own..."

"You cheated on him...?"

He shook his head at the question, blushing slightly. He thought she would have known that about him by now, that he would never do things like that. Especially not when being in a seemingly serious relationship. This, however, didn't make him regret what he had done next any less than he already did.

"I... I told one of his friends that I had had sex with someone else on a party that we both attended, a party that I kind of knew Francis had sex with someone else on as well even though I never got that one confirmed..." he continued and sighed slightly. This letter would have to do. "Of course, as I predicted, Francis' friend went right ahead and told him what I had done... he even said he had seen me do it even though he could not possibly have done so, since none of it happened... unless he could see my imagination"

"Did Francis believe him?" she asked, brows wrinkled and one lip being bitten, nervously.

"Of course he did" he answered and could hear the detest in his own voice, he even had to look away so that she wouldn't see the hurt and blame in his eyes, not the disappointment either of course. "Wouldn't you believe your best friend if he came and told you he had even SEEN it happen?"

"I guess..." she shivered and gently reached out to pat his fingers in a soft act of kindness, the kind of thing only someone as sweet as her would do in a time like this. "But I would at least go to the person it concerned and ask him or her straight out if it was true, if it was someone that dear to me I would have believed what ever the person told me because that's what you're supposed to do. But he got mad?"

"He did indeed..." Silence fell and it was almost a feeling as if in which it felt like the entire classroom was now listening to his story. He didn't much care if that was the case, which it was not, since this was a part of his life which he was trying to tell himself was not his fault. He had been told for so long that it was, that he had to change his entire being if to believe in himself again. "And even though he didn't think sex in general was anything special, he found it very upsetting that I would betray him in that way. I had been hoping he'd call me or at least talk to me before blowing up, that I would be able to deny and tell him that 'see, this is how you make me feel with what you do!' but he didn't call. Instead he pretended as if nothing had happened that day, he avoided me slightly, that I can see now but... I don't know, he invited me to his apartment and then he..."

"Hit you?" she continued his died off sentence and he looked up at her innocent face, smiling slightly to let her know that he was better off now, more ok than he had ever been before.

"Something like that" he then nodded and looked back down at the paper which he was going to send to the man with the blond locks and that annoying stubble. _Do you even know how deep you hurt me..? _he thought and a melancholic smile flashed though his face and made his arms shiver with goosebumps... the memory of a kiss, a touch of lips so soft he wanted to die from even thinking about it. _Do you know how long it took for me to learn how to even breath again from what you did to me?_

"I think..." she suddenly said and smiled back at him when he looked up to meet her eyes. "...that you should go home and read this through again, ok? Read it through, maybe tell Al about all of this, he might be able to help you more than I can, now that he knows?"

Arthur couldn't help but laugh slightly at her sweetness, which apparently offended her a bit. "I'm sorry... but I don't think he'll be wanting to help me with an old ex... after all, how can I tell him I was dating my own stepbrother? Not that we where related or anything, and my mother was only seeing Francis' father for a short while... but still, what guy would find it ok for his friend to..."

"Stop thinking like that about Al..." she hurried and bit her lip again since he must have looked annoyed that she had interrupted him. "He wouldn't think ill about you, I'm sure of it. But it was only a suggestion and you can do whatever you want with the letter... I just thought you might want another guy to take a look at it..."

She was offended by the look he had given her, maybe hurt too. He felt bad about it now, since he had been laughing at her as well, even though she had just been trying to help him. He was so confused about what to do and still so upset by all this that he had not been able to hinder himself from frowning. He hadn't meant to hurt her... she must know that, right?

"I'm sorry..." he said weakly and reached for her fingers again, feeling them, so warm against his own, so comforting. She was the type of girl who he could have seen himself dating, if he had been the least bit attracted to the female gender... Maybe he should just try not to have sex and be together with her instead? At least he would be happier than with a swine like Francis. He sure was pathetic... He wasn't looking at her anymore because his eyes where stinging and he didn't want anyone to see, least of all her. But she didn't seem to mind, because she gently closed her fingers around his and gave them a soft kiss before speaking in a low, soft voice close to his ear as she leaned agains his shoulder.

"It's ok Arthur... I know you're upset about this and I'm very grateful that you wanted to talk to me about it" she smiled and let her fingers play a bit with his, entwining them which must almost make them look as if though they where a couple. "If there is anything I can do, please tell me and I will do it"

"Thank you Jody..."

He must have slept the rest of math, because it just felt like he had been closing his eyes for a second when Jody was suddenly shifting next to him, nudging him slightly in the side to get him to do the same. He looked up, slightly confused and realized almost everyone was already out of the classroom, the teacher as well.

"What do we have now?" he asked his friend as she put her books back into her bag and she smiled slightly with her eyes still locked on her books.

"We have a free period since our teacher is sick" she declared and he felt some kind of relief wash over him. At least he wouldn't have to concentrate for the next couple of hours of his life. That would give him time to rest his mind and come back with full power at the end of the day at least. "I have to go and talk to out Psychology teacher about last weeks assignment though..." she added with a blush. She had promised Arthur she'd be done with it by today and apparently she had not been able to keep her promise. He just smiled.

"You go ahead" he nodded and yawned, stretching like a cat. "I think I'll go for a walk around campus or something to get some energy called fresh air into my head" he continued and heaved his bag up on his shoulder. "I've heard that helps against tiredness"

She laughed a little at his humor and they left the classroom side by side. When they had left their heavy books in their lockers, she quickly gave him a soft kiss on the cheek and was off to the room in which Al was still sitting together with his teacher.

...

"But that doesn't change the fact that I don't know if I'm willing to risk my relationship with Lauren just to see if I would enjoy sex with a guy more..?" Al protested to what his teacher had just said. Their conversation had lasted almost an hour now and he had mostly been listening to advice he didn't fully grasp. He was even more confused now than he had been before he had stepped into the room that morning and it was beginning to get on his nerves. Tom however was as calm as Al had ever seen him before, even though he had come out as gay less than forty minutes ago.

"I know it doesn't change anything..." he said calmly and then sighed at the desperate gaze he was given by the younger one. "But let's face it, no matter how much you like the girl, if you where to say, start having feelings for someone else, no matter if it was a guy or a girl, wouldn't that make you want to break up with her?"

"That's what you do when you fall for someone else isn't it..?" Al asked back and buried his face in his hands out of confusion. "Because you can't go on lying to her about loving her when you have feelings for someone else... because cheating is much worse than telling someone the truth, even though telling her the truth might break her heart when you do it?"

"Yes"

"But I am not in love with someone else?"

"That is where you should focus your attention" Tom nodded and smiled sadly towards the seemingly upset kid in front of him. "If you still feel very strongly for her and love her, you should stay with her. But if you feel that there is the slightest chance you might not feel for her as she feels for you and that you never will, it is just as horrible for you to lead her on in that way, as if you where to cheat on her"

"Why..? What if I still want her, just not as much as she wants me...?"

"Well, if you where to ask her 'would you want me to stay with you even though I don't necessarily love you?' what do you think she would say?"

"I.."

"Or maybe, if you asked her what she would say if you told her that you where thinking of men while you where fucking her... How would it make her feel?" interrupted his teacher and Al felt as if though the world was spinning all around him.

"She tells me she has no problem with me thinking about other people while we do it..." he almost whispered and Tom looked at him with seriousness in his eyes.

"And do you believe that this is what she really feel?" he asked back and tilted his head so that he might get a better look at the young one's face. "And when she said that, could she have thought that maybe you would think about a known woman like Angelina Jole or someone like that, not Brad Pit? And if you told her you where thinking about me, for example, when you where having sex with her, wouldn't she feel upset and betrayed by you?"

Al was totally shocked by this but didn't comment on it, which he would have done if he hadn't been feeling like crying at the moment. He felt so damn bad about being like he was towards Lauren. He didn't want her to be sad but what the fuck was he doing, thinking about guys when jerking off to her moans? He hadn't even been paying attention to what she was saying... He had never meant for that to happen and of course he could just deny it for the rest of his life but... it HAD happened and he would never be able to shake the sensation of rough hands against his skin now. Like that dream he had had of Arthur, months back...

"I think..." he finally said and felt his cheeks flush with the sudden realization. "That if I was to tell her exactly what was going on in my mind when I am with her... like that, I would hurt her more than if I was actually cheating on her"

"So what should you do about it?"

The question sounded so simple, yet the answer was so complex that he wanted to break down from it. Instead, he stood up and nodded to himself, eyes glossy. "Thank you for this... I..." he took a deep breath and kind of prayed to God that Tom wouldn't stop him from walking away. Fuck he didn't want to break down, not here. "I'll come and talk to you again if I need it, but I'm really grateful that you took your time... it means a lot to me.." With that he left the room as quickly as he could, hands shaking as he pushed them into his pockets. He met Jody on his way down the corridor and hardly even looked up when she said hi to him, he'd have to explain it to her later, that he just wasn't dissing her but right now he couldn't quite care. He needed to skip school that was for sure, skip school and go home...

...

Arthur felt a cold chill down his neck as he walked up the stairs towards the reacher's floor. And yes, they had their entire floor for every kind of use possible. There was also the nurse's office and the reception, together with some rooms for meetings and such things. He had always disliked floors with teachers and since he had no idea where he was going, this was even more frightening than when he had decided he'd go here in the first place.

"You looking for someone?" a kind, female voice asked from a doorway he had just passed. He turned towards her and blushed slightly, knowing that he must be looking so misplaced up there. But she just smiled and tilted her head gently to the side.

"Yes.." he answered hesitantly and returned her smile best he could. "I'm looking for... for Daniel?"

"Oh" she smiled in surprise but pointed at a door on the other side of the corridor just half a second later. "He's in there, working hard as always... just give the door a knock and he will see you"

"Thank you"

"Don't mention it sweetie"

When she had left him alone again, he did as she had told him and it didn't take more than a couple of seconds for the man inside to come to the door and open. He looked tired, almost over worked but his eyes brightened slightly as he saw the young blond outside his door.

"Well hello there" he smiled and stepped aside. "Come on in Arthur"

_At least he knows my name, that's a start... _he thought and returned this smile too, walking inside and looking around slightly before the door was shut again behind him. The room was small, walls stacked with bookshelves filled with dusty books, there was a large window on the opposite wall to the door and in front of it was an old looking desk, filled with two or three layers of papers. It looked as if Daniel had been working in there all his life or something, because the layer of dust on the books on the shelves must be at least an inch thick.

"Please" the man smiled and pushed his glasses up further on his nose. They made him look a lot older than he must be, and the cardigan made him look like a typical English professor. "Sit down and make yourself comfortable. Do you want anything to drink or something?"

"No I'm quite alright..." Arthur answered and smiled at the older man, feeling a bit bad for disturbing him when he seemed to have so much to do. "Do you want me to come back another time.. when you don't have so much work to...?"

"No no, now is fine" Daniel assured and sat down in his chair on the other side of the desk. He sighed and then smiled, pushing some papers aside. "I always have a lot to do and it's mostly so that I won't have to deal with everything else that I put myself in that position... so why did you want to see me?"

Arthur hesitated and bit his lip, knowing that Daniel had told him to come talk to him if he ever felt like it, even though that was a long time ago now... Hadn't it been one of his first days in school even? But it felt weird talking to someone you hardly knew about these sort of things. He then took a deep breath and put the letter he had received from Francis in front of them both on the desk, along with the answer he had been meaning to send.

"First, thank you for talking to me that day... I was totally out of it and I thought you wouldn't even remember me but I guess you do" he smiled and the other one nodded with a bright smile back. "And it was kind of... all that I wanted to talk to you about"

"You mean the last part you told me?" Daniel asked, curiously but calmly, obviously not wanting to rush him into telling him things he wasn't ready to talk about. Arthur nodded, a bit amazed over the fact that this man, that didn't even know him, remembered what he had told him that day, which seemed like years ago. But maybe you didn't forget that a random male student who comes and talks about having a boyfriend?

"Yes..." he admitted and looked down at the papers. "Me and my ex broke up... or more like, I broke up when he had left me in damn mess, and now he wants this of me..." he explained while pointing at the paper in front of them. "I was just wondering... if you might read it through and see what you think about my answer, the last I want is for him to come here, as he is threatening and ruin everything I have built up here as well..."

"Of course" Daniel replied instantly and once again, Arthur felt himself being slightly surprised at this man. He had answered so quickly, as if he had made his mind up long before the question had even been asked. "I'll do anything to help..."

It took them about an hour to go over the letter and what it meant, both literary and what it could be saying if you looked and analyzed it more closely. Arthur was so into it he didn't even realize the time was flying and didn't wake up from this state until he had gotten about five texts from Jody asking where he was and if he was planning on letting her eat by herself.

"...but in general, I think if you just clam your attitude down in what you have written" Daniel continuing after Arthur had put the cell back down again. "...he will either take it well or not, depending on him. I mean, he could have already decided to come here anyway, and if that is the case, maybe you should tell the people around you that a man, who is potentially dangerous, will be arriving any day, since he seems to have gotten a hold of your current address. You need all the support you can get you know, not to end up in the same situation as you did last time that is..."

"You mean bleeding on the floor?"

"Not really..." the teacher said while shaking his head. He then slowly removed his glasses and rubbed his eyes a little, looking even more tired than before they had started. "I know, form experience, that if you have been in a relationship like the one you describe with Francis here, a destructive relationship where he is not faithful and you still forgive him, where he hits you and you where still there for him the day after... there is a risk, even though it might not feel like it now, that you will go back to him..."

"I don't think..." Arthur started but the older man shook his head and smiled to indicate that he wasn't quite done yet.

"All I am saying is that there is a risk, not that this is what will happen and there is nothing you can do about it..." he then said and wiped his glasses on a white cloth he had drawn out form one of his pockets. "This man is possessive, which he proved by getting angry at you for sleeping with someone else than him, but he is still very loving towards you and promises that he will change, am I right?"

"Well... yes" Arthur replied, unable to lie about it since it was just the way Francis had been. He had always done bad things and when Arthur had yelled at him for it, he had said he would change for him, that he would do better from now on. He had promised it so many times that they both had grown accustomed to it all, that was the way they argued in the end...

"But what ever happens, you must remember that he will not change..." Daniel continued and bit his lip, in the same way Arthur normally used to do when he was thinking real hard or worrying about something. "Some people do change when they promise it, and I can't say for sure that Francis won't, since I haven't met him... But my guess is that he won't, no matter how many times he says he will. But by coming here, I am sure he would like to try to convince you that he will so that he can get you back"

"But why..?" Arthur asked, even though he knew that this man could not possibly know the answer to such I question. "I mean... why would he do so much, just to get me back, if he is just going to do the same thing to me over and over again? Doesn't he understand that I will not stand it for even a day if he starts up again?"

"I think he might believe... because he does care about you, and he might think that if he could just get you back he really will change this time. But you cannot change a pattern you have learned over time, in just one night. If he used to be a player before you, you can almost always count on the fact that he will continue to be so when he is in bed with you as well"

Arthur nodded at this. It made sense. Not that he wanted to get back together with the guy but just two hours ago he had wondered weather he really shouldn't. Because he had thought that what if Francis actually would change for the better, what if he would do his best and Arthur wouldn't have to be lonely anymore... but he wouldn't be thinking that anymore now, would he? What Daniel said made so much sense he didn't even want to admit to himself that hadn't he heard it from someone else, he wouldn't even have noticed it and probably fallen into the trap again.

...

Al slammed the door shut hard behind him and felt a terrible wave of emotion surge through his body and crash against his defensive wall. The wall he hoped he had built strong enough to be able to resist this force at least for a while longer. He threw his cell to the floor, only to pick it up again almost immediately and drop it into his pocket instead. It was best that he knew when Arthur was coming home so that his cousin wouldn't be met by a crying kid when he came through the door.

When he had made sure his mother wasn't home, he sighed in relief and threw up in the downstairs bathroom. It took him about half an hour to calm down enough to even be able to flush the toilet and stop his body from shaking, adrenaline pulsing through his entire body with every heartbeat.

He leaned back, finally laying down on the cold floor, waiting for time to pass and his mind to calm itself before making any hasty movements. He had puked once before from being upset and stressed out, but that time it had been before a game and there had been others who had been feeling sick as well so it could have been food poisoning form the pizza they had had earlier. Now he just felt sick through and through, as if he had caught some disease that would clearly kill him soon, slowly and painfully.

"Al..?" came a voice from outside the bathroom door, so suddenly that Al made the mistake of sitting up all too quickly, causing a wave of nausea to crash over him again. He groaned as the foul liquid hit the bottom of the can with a splattering echo of bad smelling vomit. The door was not locked, since he had not thought anyone would barge in on him this time of day and it now opened quickly, warm hands gently pulling his bangs away from his sweaty face as another reached to dampen a cloth with warm water, which was then gently pressed agains his forehead.

"Dad...?" he asked into the warm embrace which then pulled him away from the stinking bathroom and into the living room, setting him down on the sofa and wrapping him in a thick blanket.

"Yeah" the older man answered softly and Al managed to notice that there was no smell of alcohol around him before he dozed off into oblivious sleep.

When he woke up (the clock on the wall showed hours later), the TV was on in front of him and there was a glass of coke on the table as well. On the floor next to the sofa, there was a bucket which he suspected he was supposed to puke in if he felt the need to do so. He tried to look around to see if his father was around, but suspected he wouldn't be... seeing as the man was a drunk who didn't really give a shit about him. And even if he WAS there, it was impossible for Al to make out, since he realized he must have dropped his glasses on the floor when puking the first time. He pondered getting up for a while, but soon decided that lying here was so much more comfortable, even without glasses.

"You Ok kid...?" his father suddenly asked as he came into the room from the kitchen and Al was forced to open his eyes again. The man was blurry, being so far way from him but he didn't really care if he saw him or not.

"Yeah... I'm fine" he just answered and then realized, as he reached for the glass with coke, that his glasses where lying on the table as well, right next to it. He put them on as quickly as his body would let him and sighed in relief as the world wobbled into focus again. He didn't at all feel as nauseous when he had them on, that was a good thing.

His dad, now that he took a better look at him, didn't at all look like the last time Al had been forced to lay his eyes on him. Michael had been looking awfully pale back then, eyes sunken into their sockets, being so damn skinny that Al had thought maybe he'd die within days. Now, he was newly shaved, hair washed and wearing clean clothes he probably hadn't worn in years. He was smiling a little, wearing his own glasses for a change... if you hadn't known about him, you would have just thought he was any other father, tending to his sick child who was home from school. It was just hat Al knew better than that.

Michael smiled a little wider thought, at Al's answer, and walked over to the sofa where he sat down gently. He looked wrong somehow, like he didn't fit into the picture of the house, even though this was of course his home as well. He didn't seem like he had completely forgotten how to sit in the sofa, it was just... it was so weird, seeing him like this.

"Not feeling nauseous anymore then..?" he then asked and Al had to just wait a moment to answer, just to fully grasp the fact that he was sitting there in their living room, talking to his own dad. He then took a deep breath and closed his eyes for a moment. The world was getting blurry again.

"Not really..."

"Do you know what it was..?" Michael continued after the short answers he was given. He didn't seem to mind that his son didn't want to talk to him. Maybe he just needed to make sure Al was ok and when he was sure, he would retire to his bed and keep drinking...? Somehow, even when being dizzy as hell, Al didn't want it to be like that. It really seemed like his dad had made an effort into helping him this time, maybe this was the part when he was reaching out for his oldest and hoped he would get a hand to hold while he came back to life? Even though Al felt completely out of it still, he figured that he should just push this man away, not now that he had been helping him... After all, the time still showed half passed two in the afternoon and his dad wasn't even drunk yet.

Al sighed and then shrugged, feeling his entire body tremble as he did so. Was he crying? Or was just the feeling of trembling after puking the same as when crying your heart out? He didn't know.

"I was totally stressed out..." he finally managed to answer before taking a deeper breath then before, which seemed to help with the trembling sensation. "I felt it at school, that if I didn't go home and rest, I would break down and I didn't want that..."

Instead of getting angry, like his mother would have, Michael just nodded at what he heard and it felt kind of good. Al smiled a little, his throat throbbing slightly as he swallowed though. It felt better with a grown up who nodded with understanding instead of one who started accusing you of lying as soon as you stepped inside the house. Not that his dad had been any better than her, back when he was just a closet drunk who blew up during dinnertime.

"I don't know if I'm getting sick too though..." he then added after thinking for a couple of seconds. "I mean... I threw up quite a lot and I don't know if I was that stressed out, you know?"

Michael nodded and drank some of the content of his cup. Al first suspected it was some kind of alcohol in the beverage, but a soft smell of tea soon reached his nose and he could do nothing but smile slightly. Maybe his dad really was breaking through his own armor of drunken-asshole-ness?

"What is it that you're so stressed out about..?" the older one then asked, making the broken walls of Al's inner defense tighten their security. He had never really felt comfortable enough with his dad to talk to him about stuff like this, even when the guy had been sober all hours of the day. He had been fairly young back then thought so he didn't really remember how their relationship had been when it came to talking. "I mean... from what I have heard, you're not the kind of guy who has to work a lot for your grades and you're popular too..? So what is is?"

But there is a limit to how long a teenager can hold his defense up, when his mind is throbbing and his throat tastes like vomit. Al was about to look away but there was something in those kind, deep eyes... something he hadn't seen in years that made him want to just throw himself in his father's arms and cry until he didn't have any tears left. The man actually looked like he cared. And it felt like it had been ages since Al had had a parent who cared...

"Dad..."

"Look..." the older man interrupted and smiled, looking sad too though, event hough he was trying to hide it. "I have been such a coward, and so much less of a father to you than what both you and your brother deserves... And I don't at all expect you to want to tell me what it is that's troubling you or making you feel the way you do. But believe me, if there is anything that gives me greater pain than seeing you suffering like this, it is the fact that I know that I can't do anything at all to help you as a father..."

Al swallowed and let his eyes fall from the other's face and down to his own hands. He knew he must have been sounding so mean sometimes when he walked in with food to his father, he must have seemed to hate him so much the few times they even spoke... Even though he kind knew that it wasn't his fault the man had been drinking and been a jerk, he felt responsible right now for making the man feel this bad about the whole thing. He didn't know what to say either, so he just kept his hands on his hands, listening to what the other one said.

"You have more potential to be a better person that I ever had..." Michael continued and Al felt his eyes sting. From what he could see, his dad had been a really good person in the beginning... he shouldn't look down on himself so much. "And I wish that even if I shouldn't even be allowed to call you my son, because of the way I have treated you... that maybe at least, when all this is over and you feel better again, we could be something similar to friends?"

Al tore his eyes form his hands, who suddenly lost all interest to him and looked up at the glossy eyed man in front of him. He didn't get the time to reply with more than a nod though, because the front door was opened and closed as Arthur hurried into the house. He called that he was home, by now just because everyone else did so and then hurried into the living room where both the Jones' where sitting.

"Arthur what are you..?" Al begun but Arthur looked far to worried and bit down on his lip while seeing the man next to him on the couch.

"I came as soon as I got your message..." his cousin said to the older of the two and Al looked at them both in confusion. It was by then of course that he realized he didn't have his cellphone anywhere and understood that his dad must have panicked, no matter how calm he seemed, and texted Arthur to come home. Even though it was pretty embarrassing, Al couldn't help but feel grateful for his actions. "Al, are you alright?"

"Yeah" he replied and smiled quickly at his dad, telling him with his silence that he was thankful before looking back at Arthur who was now kneeling by his side to check if his forehead was hot. "I'm fine... just stressed out, maybe getting sick to so you should stay away..."

Arthur chuckled slightly, even though he looked serious still, deep down in his eyes. "I have the best immune system there is" he then said and met Al's eyes tenderly. "I don't get sick" This was of course a lie, but Al was thankful for the cold fingers against his forehead as well and soon he was watching a movie with his dad by his side and his own blanket wrapped around him, coke in hand and smiling softly at Arthur's singing form the kitchen.

"Thank s for calling him dad" he said after a while. "I think... he is the only person I would want to take care of me when I'm sick... apart form maybe you since you seemed to know exactly what to do..."

He could see the older one blush at this and felt fairly comfortable from making the man smile. If they where going to establish a better relationship, the best way to do that was to try to forget who he had used to be and start appreciating what he had done just hours ago instead. "I just... did it instinctively..." Michael finally admitted and drank the last of his tea, looking more tired now, probably form the lack of alcohol in his blood but it wasn't like Al blamed him for that. "I mean... you're the same kid as when you where young, you used to throw up all the time when I was alone with you and I always had to take care of you, guess it sort of sticks with you, no matter what you do"

Al nodded. It was a fair explanation. He then grinned at Arthur who came back into the room with toast, slightly buttered and some more coke for his upset stomach. "You should eat this slowly" he said and put it down in front of Al on the table before sitting down between the two of them on the sofa. "If it stays down and you don't feel nauseous at all for a while, you can have another one... if that makes if through, you can have some soup"

"Sounds like a good deal" he agreed and started eating small chunks of bread and butter until he was sure they would stay down. Arthur didn't seem to have any problems what so ever with sitting next to Michael he suddenly realized though and smiled as he noticed they had been talking a bit about the movie even. Al was glad. That mean at least someone hadn't hated his dad from the start. Hopefully, Michael realized that as well.

"I'm not going to drink anymore..." his dad suddenly said as the credits rolled and Al yawned from tiredness. His yawn and need for sleep was quickly forgotten after the sentence had been spilt. "I've thought about it for some time now, and I've even tried not to.. but it is hard on my own and I think I need some professional help..."

Al stayed silent, not even able to believe what he was hearing. Was this really happening...? He didn't even have anything constructive to say, he couldn't look back in shock at his father either because he kind of understood how hard this must be for him. He knew that his drinking problem had made everything into a living hell for his family and now he was ready to face up to it all. Al knew how good you could feel after getting wasted, the feeling of not at all caring about anything anymore... his dad was willing to give that feeling up and face reality again? Well, that was something he never thought he would hear.

"I know that your mother will never forgive me for what I have done to this family..." Michael continued and sighed slightly, sounding as if he was about to cry and still Al could not get himself to look up at him. It hurt inside to hear this... he never thought it would hurt... not like this. "And I don't blame her for what she thinks of me... but I will do my best, for her and for you guys... both you and your brother. And if you tell me you won't want to have anything to do with me, that you would rather have her new man as your father then I will accept that... but I will still do this for you Al..."

"Dad..." he begun and looked up almost instinctively. He didn't want to be interrupted this time. "...If you want this, if you're going to give it your all, of course I will stand by you? How could I not? You're fighting for us... so why shouldn't at least I fight for you too?"

The silence that feel was filled with some kind of happy tension. The older man looking back at his almost grown up son with tears in his eyes and his bottom lip between his teeth, as if he was hindering himself from jumping the kid and giving him a hard hug. Arthur smiled slightly, feeling out of place for a moment before meeting Al's gaze. His cousin was smiling slightly too, still shocked at what he had heard but happy. He gently reached out and grabbed Arthur's hand with his own, miming 'thank you' while giving it a soft squeeze.

It didn't take long after that until they started up with a plan. Arthur helped Michael to pack up some things he would need and Al just sat there on the sofa, a warm ball of happiness hovering in his chest. He wondered what his mom would say when she found out where her husband had gone... if she even noticed he wasn't locked in the bedroom anymore. He tried to imagine the look on her face but it was impossible.

"Be sure to be back by Mattie's birthday?" he then asked as his dad popped his head back into the living room to tell him goodbye. Michael looked a bit sad and stepped over to the sofa to give him a kiss on the forehead.

"I'll try..." he answered and bit his lip again. "I really will"

"As long as you're healthy..." Al assured and gave him what he hoped was a reassuring smile even tough he was so tired he didn't know anymore. "...I think he will be happy..."

* * *

><p>I don't know what you guys think, but there is some part of me that just can't stop loving Al's dad ;_; he is in fact, really sweet according to me! And poor Al... Could he really have stressed himself up enough to go and feel that bad? :

AND what will Francis do when he gets Arthur's letter? Will he be angry and fly over anyway? or has he already decided to pay his ex lover a visit? O_O find out in next chapter! I promise ;D

Till then, hugs from Codes

**By the way! Next chapter will be a bonus which will be very important for the continuing of this story! I will be posting it separatly AS WELL and I hope you guys will start following this story too, since there will be a couple of detached chapters on that one that still have attatchment to this story XD hope this makes sense XD you will get it when you read chapter 15, promise, cause I will explain it all there :D**


	15. The mile high club

Hi again you guys :D I hope you liked the last chapter and I hope you all have had time to read it since we last spoke? o:

Remember I told you something weird about this chapter being a bonus and that I would explain it all in this one? Well, you will not walk away from this chapter all confused ;D or at least I hope not!

**IMPORTNAT:**

This chapter, Mile High Club is actually the beginning of a side story that I will be posting here: .net/s/7364464/1/While_you_were_suffering

In this story, which will be called "while you were suffering" you will get to know more about what happens with Francis after his terrible breakup with Arthur and how he copes with the whole thing. Does he actually blame Arthur for all that happened, or does he know, deep inside that what he did was wrong? Cheating, beating and just being a complete idiot isn't really the way to win someone's heart, right? I have had quite a few number of people telling me they want to know about this guy and what will happen when he eventually meet Arthur so I thought it might be fun doing it this way ;D I though, deviding the two stories might make it easier to keep the two separate if you know what I mean? :)

I hope you guys will like this story, just as much as you like My reason to smile :) I know that some of you are USUK-hardcore fans and of course you don't need to read more than this chapter, though this one is pretty important for the story. that was also a reason why I chose not to publish everything about what happens to Francis on here :) just FVI

I would also like to thank my boyfriend Sam who has been helping me with this story about Francis ;D being my beta and listening to all my crazy ideas! Thank you love :D

**Warning:** There will be gay pr0n... mmmgghh... (L)

**Disclaimer:** I do not own the wonderful world of Hetalia ;_; but I wish I did, like a lot of your guys out there I'm sure ;D

* * *

><p>The pressure on his ears was terrible and his nausea didn't grow weaker at all as he felt his seat bounce underneath him. He popped the lid on the small jar he was holding and pushed a couple more of his motion sickness pills into his mouth. He had nothing but lukewarm water to swallow them down with but this would have to do. He had heard that if you took a lot of these pills you would eventually fall asleep and right now he was seriously hoping that that was going to happen because he couldn't take this anymore.<p>

Why he had decided to fly all the way from England to America was beyond his understanding, considering the fact that he was an extremely nervous flyer and would never admit it to anyone. The young man next to him seemed to have noticed though and was turned towards the window so that he wouldn't have to see the nervous man. You could easily get nervous too if you had to share space with someone popping pills every other ten minutes.

Francis sighed and closed his eyes, hoping that sleep would soon take him and that the long flight would be over in no time. Of course, he was too tense to fall asleep and since he didn't get that himself, he would never do so.

The blond man with the (according to Arthur; annoying) stubble had received Arthur's answer by letter only two days earlier. But because he had already decided to go to America to get some kind of upper hand on the situation, he had decided to pretend he never received it. At least if someone asked him if he had. In truth, he had been clutching the letter in his hand for more than two hours before being able to let it go. He had never even dreamed of the blond kid writing back to him and when he had done so, the shock had been tremendous.

"Would you care for something to drink?" the kind voice of a stewardess asked him from nowhere and he looked up in the even greater shock of being spoken too in the middle of the air. "You look awfully pale sweetie"

"No, but thank you" he smiled back and clutched the armrests on his chair as the plane made a slight dive. "I just... I don't like flying that much"

"I see..." she answered and looked worried. She was the kind of girl who obviously cared too much about people. Probably had a dysfunctional relationship back at home because she cared so much. He pitied her, even though he didn't even know her. "Could I maybe give you a blanket and some headphones so that you can listen to some music and get comfortable?"

He nodded and smiled, mostly because he thought it would make her happy and worry less. The wrinkle between her eyes had been deep as the Grand Canyons. She happily trotted away through the plane and he sighed. How many more hours would he have to spend in this damn metal bird? About four hours more... great.

"It'll be fine..." the man next to him suddenly said and Francis looked back at him in surprise. He hadn't really paid attention to anything else than the plane's bumpy ride, almost been thinking he had been all alone, which he obviously wasn't. "I used to be a pretty nervous flyer myself..." the brown haired stranger continued and gave him a soft smile. He had been drinking some alcohol, so he had loosed up a bit. "but since I passed the first ten times without any trouble, I thought that maybe it's nothing to worry about... the trick is to keep yourself distracted, at least that was what I was told"

Francis nodded at this too, not that he felt assured or anything, but still. This guy had been sitting beside him for hours now and had to listen to his whining. Maybe he should at least act as if he cared what the stranger had to say. Judging from the look of him, he seemed younger than Francis was but it was hard to tell. He looked very kind though, a bit drunk, but kind.

"You mean, distraction like with music or something?" he asked back and sat up straighter in his chair, trying not to think about the free fall beneath him or the cold air which would tear him apart if he fell through it.

The brown haired one smiled almost tenderly and shook his head. "Sometimes it might work, but unless you fall asleep, listening to music for hours won't really help... it didn't help me at least" He pointed at a book he was resting on his lap, he hadn't even begun reading it. "I always bring a book but I never read it, sometimes a movie can distract me but it's not very often..."

"So what do you do?"

The man shrugged and then gave him a grin. "Depends..." he answered and looked out the window. "As I said, I'm not a nervous flyer anymore..."

"But how did it... you know, let you go?" Francis pressed on and felt a bit desperate as he did so. Why even say that things would be ok and then just leave it like that? Why couldn't the guy at least talk to him some more and maybe help him distract himself from the hideous thought of falling from this hight. "It couldn't just have stopped over night, could it?"

"I joined the Mile High Club"

Now this statement left Francis baffled for a while and before he knew it, the younger one had stood up and made his way passed him towards the bathroom with a smirk on his face. This wasn't a smirk which Francis understood, he might be a player but since he was not very fond of flying, the Mile High Club was not very familiar to him, even if he had heard the phrase once of twice. As he took some deep breaths, trying to recollect everything he had heard about this club, the flight attendant came back with a blanket and some headphones for him. She made sure he was comfortable and reassured him that the plane was way safer to be in than any car on the road.

Francis didn't believe this at all. Of course she would tell him something like that to calm him down. It was the same at the dentist office; "This won't hurt at all" and then it hurts like HELL.

"What's the Mile High Club..?" he asked immediately as she wondered if there was something else she could do for him. He couldn't have guessed how wrong his timing had been until she blushed furiously and cursed at him silently, telling him that he should be ashamed of himself for even talking about such things.

Still as confused as ever when she turned around and left, he looked back at the toilet where the mysterious stranger had gone into hiding. There HAD been something about that smirk and without even realizing the plane was jumping again, Francis picked his computer up. Withing two minutes he knew exactly what this was all about, laughed at the reaction he had gotten from the poor flight attendant and then got up. The least he could do was to tell the other guy what he had found out...

He had always wondered if it was totally obvious that he was gay, because people always seemed to come on to him without him having to do something to get their attention. Or maybe he just looked like a player that would provide you with excellent sex and therefore everyone came to him in the hopes of getting something. This time, for example, it took him less than five minutes of talking before his newly found companion decided to have some fun with him. Not that he was complaining.

He knocked on the door softly, hoping that it was the right lavatory and that there wasn't a fat dude in this particular one. He was calmed though by a soft chuckle and the younger man's voice only seconds later though the door. "Thought you wouldn't get the hint..."

"Well maybe I wanted you to doubt it?" he replied and quickly entered the small space as the door was opened by the brown haired man. Or man... he was more of a teenager than a man really. But older than sixteen at least. How he had gotten the alcohol Francis didn't know, but he didn't feel the need to ask either. The younger one was grinning widely, pulling Francis closer before he could even adjust to the tiny space and they both where soon loosing their balance and almost falling on each other.

"Can I ask for your name or do you want to remain a scared mystery, old man?" the brown haired one asked and Francis felt himself blush, even though he wasn't really old at all... and not really scared... anymore. The grin in the other's green eyes was assuring though and he grinned back.

"Francis..." he then answered and chuckled quietly as he realized the lock had not been secured. Stupid teen. Did he WANT people to come in here and see what they where about to do? "And yours?"

"Antonio..."

Even for someone as young as this stranger, he had both and eager body and eager hands. Francis had some difficulty keeping up, not being at all used to the tight space and soon found himself leaned against the wall with hot lips around his cock and fingers gripping tightly around his ass.

"So I guess you've done this before?" he managed to pant as he felt nails scrape his skin and hissed inwardly as sharp teeth nibbled at the base of his dick with experienced precession. The boy chuckled around his hardened cock and fuck, it felt good. Francis had to bite down on his own tongue not to let out a moan that would let everyone else on the plane know what they where doing.

"I have indeed..." he answered as he let his toy go for a moment, looking up with green eyes that seemed to enjoy everything about this whole thing. He was shirtless, just like Francis, only his neck and chest was filled with old and new hickeys, his hair was messed up from Francis pulling at it and his knees where resting uncomfortably against the hard cold floor, but that he didn't seem to mind at all. "I met my lover this way"

"So you're cheating?"

To Francis, cheating hadn't been that big of a deal really. He knew he was in love with Arthur and that he always would be, so having sex with someone else was solely to cum when he didn't want to jerk of in the bathroom. There had never been feelings behind what he had done and he never saw them as wrong... until he had been cheated on himself. He knew now that he had overreacted, since he had done the same himself and never even apologized about it... Beating Arthur blue had been very wrong of him indeed... but being cheated on had scared him... making him think that he would lose the precious blond boy he had held so dearly for so long. Now, hearing that this seemingly young man was cheating on someone actually made Francis feel slightly guilty himself... Because what if he was helping Antonio hurt someone just as dear to him as Arthur had been to Francis?

"Don't worry..." the brown haired one whispered from somewhere next to his dick however and the thrill of getting his balls sucked almost made his knees weak from excitement. "We don't have that kind of relationship anyway, and if he'd seen you first, he would have totally done you too"

"Sounds like guy after my own mind then" Francis chuckled back and gripped the young one's hair hard as the head of his cock was being nudged by that warm tongue again. "Why don't we both go and pay him a visit when we get off the plane?"

To this he didn't get an answer, because the other one was preoccupied with sucking his hardness in as deep as possible and the pleasure was too great to let the blond man think about the question and its answer anyway. It was simply forgotten in the narrow space between the cock pit and the rest of the passengers.

"Well that was... amazing" Francis finally sighed after they had both bit down on moans for about half an hour, the boy now sitting close to Francis, chest against chest, panting with red cheeks. None of them had the energy to move but Francis knew there could be pain involved if they didn't and he gently moved Antonio form his position, letting his dick slip out of him before pulling him close to his warm chest again, the boy's head resting against his collarbone.

There was a soft mumble in agreement from his temporary companion and Francis couldn't help to grin. The teen was about to fall asleep and it was just adorable to hear his deep breathing against his ear and feel his still eager heart beat against his chest. He tried to shift a bit to make it more comfortable for them both and then just sat there for a while, feeling the cold of the air around them chilling him to the bone through his damps skin. But not where the young man was still leaning against him though, it was warm there.

"We really should get going..." he whispered after a while, waking the reluctant boy with soft nudges of his fingers and nose. "People will start wondering and I think, maybe... we should take you back to your seat so that you can sleep a bit more comfortably?"

"I'm already comfortable..."

"I don't believe you" Francis smiled and shook his head before he sat up a bit straighter, almost forcing the boy to wake up. Antonio looked slightly annoyed by this but didn't complain anymore. Instead he got up, still slippery between the thighs and he squirmed slightly as he wiped himself clean on a rough piece of paper. They both got dressed quickly and silently, making sure not to make unnecessary noises and then Antonio slipped outside without a word, acting like nothing and walked away. Francis locked the door again and took a piss, shivering from the cold still but happy to have his clothes back on. He couldn't wipe the grin of his face though, and after pulling his hair up into a pony tail he left the small toilet as well. He didn't even notice the swaying of the plane anymore.

"Hi there stranger" Antonio grinned as the blond man sat down at his seat again. Francis just grinned and felt at ease with himself and the plane ride by now. It really had been a good idea, this whole mile high thing... But of course Antonio had known that since he had done it before. Francis gladly accepted the wine he was given by his young companion and chuckled.

"So you met your current lover this way then?" he asked, not really interested in hearing and entire life story but at least talking to the guy would help him be distracted for the rest of the flight at least.

"Yup" came the answer and Antonio grinned back, like it seemed he did a lot. "We where flying from Spain, me and my family, it was about two years ago..." he laughed a little as he saw the surprised look France had given him. "Yes, I was pretty young... so what? Anyway... I was so fucking scared, and I didn't even get to sit next to my family because we kind of left in a hurry and there weren't that many seats available... There was this guy sitting next to me, fucking gorgeous with this smirk on his face and at first I thought he was just amused because I was on the edge of crying"

"But he was horny for you?"

"Haha, well, yes" Antonio admitted and even though it was weird for Francis to hear about someone like himself, it seemed pretty sweet somehow... because from what he had heard by now, it sounded like the two of them where still going strong on the lover part, and Antonio's face was priceless. He looked as if he could just fly out the window with happiness. "He kind of... told me exactly what I told you just an hour ago and then he explained to me what the Mile High Club was. I thought he was just messing with me but then he asked honestly if I would do it with him and since I am gay and was already aware of it back then, I figured that even though I was a virgin I didn't have anything to lose"

Francis nodded. The story was unbelievable, if it hadn't been for the fact that he had gone through almost the same thing just now. Except the par about the whole losing his virginity thing. He wondered somehow, somewhere in the back of his mind if he and Arthur would ever have done something like this if they would have stayed together but then he realized he had never even have agreed to set his foot on a plane... not even if a nice ass was waiting for him between the clouds.

"I guess I will have to keep you in my hand luggage from now on though..." he suddenly said and Antonio looked up in surprise, he had been busy trying to open his dessert wrapping which he had saved since dinner. "I mean, if I'm gonna fly home, I need to have someone to help me relax on the way back as well"

"Aw..." the brown haired one grinned and patter Francis on the shoulder with an expression of fake pity in his eyes. "Poor you..." the then ripped the wrapper open with his teeth and sighed. "But if you're so fucking scared of flying, why did you even get on this plane in the first place..?"

Francis shrugged as an answer and looked passed the boy and out the window. What would he say? That he had beaten his boyfriend up so badly that he had to go to the hospital? Or that he had denied ever being the bad guy even though he knew that he had been all this time and that now he had probably scared the guy so much with his threats... that Arthur was afraid of being beat up again if they ever spoke face to face...

"I just needed to get away..." he lied and closed his eyes. Not that he minded lying, he had done so his entire life. But it felt weird to lie to someone you had just met that you probably wouldn't see again. Because that person would leave this place with a false image of you, just like the people who thought they knew you very well. And if everyone had a false image of you... where would you go when you needed someone to see you for who you are and not the shield you have created for everyone else to see?

"Then what will you do when you come to America? Do you know someone over there...?"

"Haven't really thought about that part..." Francis admitted and felt a cold chill down his spine. He didn't have much money. He had figured he would get a place to sleep somehow and that it all would work out eventually, with him and Arthur and everything else. But now when he thought about it, having no where to sleep and no plan seemed like the worst thing he could have created for himself.

"You'll figure something out then?" it was both a question and a statement but Francis just felt a deep nausea spread through his gut again. Not because of the hight but because of the panic which was raising his heartbeat as well.

"I have to"

The rest of the ride went fairly quick to his delight however, Antonio convincing him they should watch a movie together to keep both minds occupied. The movie was not the best he had seen but it was good enough and they both laughed through the whole thing which Francis found very liberating for a change.

When the poor flight attendant came to his aid as he pushed his button, she looked almost terrified but he asked her to forgive him and told her he had had no idea what the Mile High Club was. She didn't seem to believe him at first, but when the brown haired young man next to him started laughing his ass of at his explanation, making Francis blush, she smiled and shook her head. Obviously relieved. A couple of minutes later they both had a cup of hot chocolate and where looking out over the landscape which was beginning to form underneath them.

"Thank you for making this time in the air a thousand times better than I would have ever dreamt of a flight being" Francis grinned as they where pulling their luggage out from over their seats. Antonio chuckled and nudged him in the side, green eyes bright with happiness again. Gosh he was just so adorable.

"Thank YOU for making me cum a bunch of times in a public restroom good sir"

The blond man with stubble, which Antonio had not at all found annoying by the way, laughed and gave the unexpected youngster a soft kiss on the cheek before leaving the plane with a melancholic smile on his lips. He'd miss the guy and was kind of hoping he would at least ask for his number or maybe add him on Facebook. He knew things probably wouldn't work out at all with Arthur and he was a fool for ever have tried to tell himself differently. So what would he do when it all went to shitfuckinghell?

"Hey..." the brown haired smiled as he hurried up beside the taller man on their way towards the terminal. "I don't think my boyfriend would mind if you came to our place for a while, I mean... not like we have to have sex or something, but if you don't have anywhere to go... you could always come with us, if I can just talk to him about it first?"

"I... I'd love to"

Antonio's smile grew once more and he hurried down the passage quickly to get a chance to localize this mysterious boyfriend/lover of his. Francis took his time, scratching his neck and smiling as the flight attendant hurried passed him to hand a hat over to an older man who had left it by mistake on the plane. She smiled back, not at all bothered by him anymore and he sighed in relief. He hated when people didn't like him, no matter how selfish it made him.

He hoped that this other guy wouldn't say no. Of course, he would completely understand it if the guy did, especially since Antonio had told him on the plane that he and his boyfriend hadn't seen each other for almost a month now. It would be best if Francis just told himself that the guy would be angry and tell Antonio no right away. He would want to spend time with his boyfriend after all. They would probably have left the airport by the time he got out through the passage so... he'd have to hit a bar and try to find a fuck he could spend at least one night with. Yeah. That had worked before and would probably work again, even though this was America and not England.

"You coming..?" the soft voice of the brown haired one suddenly called as Francis made his way through the hall, looking grumpy in everyone else's eyes. He looked towards the place where the voice had called and he felt a soft flutter in his gut at the sight of the smiling teen. Well, it seemed he had been mistaken after all, judging by the smile he was given. Thank God.

Francis own face broke into a smile too, actually resembling the young one who was walking towards him. There was someone following him, the boyfriend he guessed and he even had to literary gasp as the man stepped out from behind his younger lover, gorgeous as he was. His skin was pale, just like his hair which didn't seem to be colored even though it had the palest shade of grey Francis had ever seen. It wasn't the kind of old-man's hair grey at all... it was just... perfect on him. The tanned teenager (and it was so obvious now, against the pale man's skin, that Francis wondered how he had not seen it before) grinned even wider and grasped his lover's hand tightly before turning back to him.

"Gil, this is Francis..." he almost sang and then met Francis' eyes with the enthusiasm of a child on Christmas morning glimmering in his green orbs. "Francis, this is my boyfriend Gilbert, who I told you about?"

Francis nodded and took the hand of the man in front of them both, expecting it to be cold but they where warmer than his own, causing chills to run down his spine. The eyes that met his where deep brown, almost red, but Francis couldn't decide weather it was because of the light or if he was wearing contacts. It didn't really matter thought. The guy seemed to be about his age, which made him into a perv of course, for taking a liking to a guy like Antonio years ago. It didn't really bother Francis though... not at all. Not when he was as hot as he was.

"So..." the man, Gil, said and grinned down at the shorter teen next to him. "I guess I understand why you had sex with him then, point taken"

Antonio grinned even more at this and Francis felt blush rise to his cheeks even though he should have expected this would happen. The brown haired did tell him they didn't really care if the other one slept with some random guy after all. That they spoke so openly about it was another thing which Francis had not expected though...

"So, should we get going?" the kid asked and Gil laughed, gently kissing the fingers of his young lover, looking back up at Francis while doing so, something mischievous in his eyes.

"Yes, we should..." he answered. "You coming Francis?"

"If you insist"

"We do" Antonio assured and grabbed his hand as well. He was a force of nature almost, dragging them both towards the luggage pick up and then out to the car. All Francis could do was come along, watching the pale man with growing interest, every minute passing.

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><p>What will happen when Francis get to the two boy's appartment? And what will he do about this whole Arthur bussines? To find out, just copy the link up there *points* and it will take you to the actual story where I will be publishing more chapters shortly! (or just go to my page and find it there)<p>

For all you hardcore ones, be patient with me :) I will soon be posting a new chapter on here that will be all about Arthur and Al, don't worry :D

Till then, I love you! And don't forget to review and tell me what you think about this crazy idea! :'D you can hitt me if you want to XD

hugs and kisses

Codes


	16. Thank you for trusting me

Hi everyone, long time no see! I have been going through a rough patch lately and I'm sorry you guys have been made to suffer from it. This story is of course not going to end very soon because of it since I have like a million ideas for it so don't you worry.

I hope you liked the last chapter I posed, even though it was about Francis and not about your two favorite guys? I didn't get that many positive or negative reviews on it, so I'm not quite sure what you thought of it to be honest, but I will take your silence as a proof that you liked it but had a lot to do and no time for stopping ;) this I can relate to.

I do hope that some of you will find this chapter good though and that you're still with me? ;_; I thank all of you for sticking in the dirt with me so far and really hope that will not change any time soon ;D

**Warning:** This story is about two teens who will eventually confess their love for each other and maybe even live happily ever after. The road there is long and not STRAIGHT at all, but we hope, for the sake of them, that they will still be true to themselves as they reach the end of their journey... (WHY SO SERIOUS? O_o I'M DONE BEING SERIOUS NOW!)

**Disclaimer:** The story of Hetalia does NOT belong to me, it belongs to the people! HA! So TAKE IT! It's YOURS GUYS! :D

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><p>"Hello my name is Harry Potter..." Al managed to say into the phone without starting to giggle frantically and Arthur was almost folded in two on the couch next to him, laughing so hard his ears where going red. "I was wondering whether you have made reservations for a Diane Jones, dinner at nine? No no I'm not joking... yes, my name is Harry Potter, I'm supposed to go on a date with her this evening... yes, I am aware that my name is similar to the one in some kind of children's book? What has that got to do with anything?" he continued and looked away from the laughing bundle om the sofa not to start laughing himself. "Just tell her that I want to cancel dinner..."<p>

Arthur swallowed a bubbling laughter again and left the room to go and warm some soup for the two of them. Al had been feeling a lot better after his dad had left, somehow gotten the energy blown back into his body, making the color return to his cheeks. He had been home from school for a couple of days though and Arthur had decided that it was best for the both of them if they just took it easy with food, but he was determined to get his cousin to eat at least something. Al didn't seem to mind eating soup everyday either (soup being a good food to cook that would stay eatable for some time) and since Arthur didn't feel like cooking when he came home form school that would have to do. Diane had been gone for days now, she had blamed the fact that she became sick so easily and that she would stay at a friend's house until her son became better. Yeah right.

He could hear the blond one laugh from the living room as he was popping the bowl into the microwave. The laugh was totally cute and Arthur couldn't help smiling. They had been joking around for hours now, ever since Arthur came back from school, not even watching the movie they had put on. Everything felt so nice right now that he could have almost forgotten about the dick who might be on his way over the ocean as they spoke.

But sadly enough, the thought of Francis coming there had not left his mind for more than a couple of minutes at the time. Ever since his conversation with Daniel the only thing he could think about was that maybe he should have changer more things about the letter before sending it, maybe he shouldn't have sent it at all because of course it would make it seem like he was just asking for trouble.

"I'm hungry!" his cousin called from the other room and Arthur shook his head. "Bring me food woman!"

"Hey!" he shouted back before dividing the food into two bowls. "I might be gay and all that, but it does not make me into a bloody woman Al..." he laughed as he heard the other one doing the same and then walked back into the living room with a tray; two glasses of milk, two bowls of potato soup and some fresh bread he had bought on the way home at the supermarket.

"Wow" Al grinned and helped him with it so that Arthur wouldn't fall and hurt himself. "Soup! We haven't had soup in days!"

"Don't push your luck kid" he chuckled back and relentlessly pushed a piece of bread into the younger one's mouth to shut him up. They both almost choked on what ever they had in their mouths as they broke into laughter again. They had been laughing so much they didn't even know what they where laughing about anymore. But it was fun, that was what mattered.

"I told mom I was still puking" Al grinned as he had finished the bread that might have taken his life if he had been unlucky. "She told me I should get better quickly so that I don't miss school and then said she'd be gone until I'm feeling better, wonder if she would ever come back if I never told her I have stopped feeling sick..."

"She probably would, but while you where sleeping so that she could fetch some clothes without having to talk to you" Arthur shrugged and then sent Al a soft gaze just to make sure he got the joke. He received a sarcastic sad face in return and was satisfied. They ate for a while, silent for the first time in about two hours, just watching the show on TV which soon lost all meaning to Arthur at least.

"So what took you so long after school today darling?" Al asked as the credits rolled and Arthur felt himself blush into the soup. After watching Inception the other day, Al had started calling him 'darling' just because he could and it was totally embarrassing. Not just because of the fact that it was homoerotic to do so, but because Arthur had been so damn attracted to Al before that the feelings almost returned as he heard those words. It wasn't something your friend... or well, best friend should tell you without understanding what it would do to you.

"I talked to Jody for a while, she's going away to her grandmother's house for about a week, so we where a bit sad" he half lied and made a sad face, pouting his bottom lips with killer puppy eyes. In truth, he and jody had mostly hugged before class ended since she had to run off to her dad who was waiting outside for her. After they had ended he had just seen her blond hair disappear outside and then made his way to the toilets to get his dick sucked by the ginger boy who had been waiting for him there. This, of course, he couldn't tell his cousin, since having sex with his best friend... well. That would just be a weird thing to explain to him.

"Aw" Al sighed and smiled gently back up at him. "You sure you're not going straight for that girl? She is a very sweet one after all"

"Nope" Arthur assured and grinned into his food before eating from it. "I'm as gay as a meatball, but if I would ever have to be with a girl, it would be her for sure" Al nodded in agreement and they both ate again, feeling pretty satisfied with how far their conversation had taken them. "I heard from my ex before... just FVI..."

"Your ex?"

This was a subject which they had not talked about at all before, since Arthur hadn't even been out and of course he couldn't talk about his ex if he hadn't even told Al about his preferences towards the male gender? It was obvious that his cousin tried to seem as if this was something they could speak of easily, but he couldn't possibly hide the eager curiousness in his voice as he spoke. Arthur breathed in deeply. Jody had tried to convince him to talk to Al about all this the whole week and he had to, he knew... But he didn't know if he would be able to if Al went all mad about the whole thing, like Jody had...

"Yeah..." he finally answered and put his almost empty bowl back on the table, watching the TV as if what he was talking about held no interest to him. "He texted me a couple of times after I got here, but I didn't care that much... and then he sent me a letter, because my mom was stupid enough to give him this address"

Al nodded, listening as he finished his food as well. "So he is the kind of ex that you do not want to meet again then?" He asked after swallowing the last and Arthur felt a strange sensation of relief spreading through his body. Al had said "he" as casually as if he had been talking to any straight guy about his girlfriend. How could it feel this good from just the fact that someone understood and tried to do their best to make you feel good about yourself? It was amazing and it gave Arthur some new energy in the matter.

"Yeah you could say that" he answered and smiled back at his cousin who looked worried at this. "He cheated on me and wouldn't stop so I told him I had done the same, even though I hadn't and then he hit me... well, he sent me to the hospital with two broken ribs and my face all swollen." Al was dumb struck, obviously not prepared for this and Arthur took the opportunity to continue so there wouldn't be any confusion. "He was pretty much a jerk... the jerk of jerks... but he tried to get me back by threatening me and I moved here, thought I'd get rid of him if I did so but my mother..."

"And now...?"

"He wrote me a letter, telling me that if I didn't respond he would come and find me" Arthur answered sincerely and bit his lip by the big eyes he received back from his friend and cousin. "I wrote him back but suspect he won't care about that. I've spoken to some people about it, just to hear what they have to say and Jody told me to tell you so here I am... sorry for not telling you earlier..."

"W-when did you get the letter?"

"Ehm..." Arthur blushed and looked away. It had been way to long since he had gotten that damn letter. If he had answered earlier, maybe he could have hindered Francis from going, maybe the guy hadn't even received it in time before leaving England. But what did Arthur know? The guy was as terrified of flying as any man Arthur had ever met, for all he knew the threats could just have been empty ones. With Francis you couldn't really risk anything though.

Al still seemed to be slightly confused but Arthur didn't know what else to say than the small sound he made and the silence fell between them. After a couple of minutes Al broke it by asking to see the letter form Francis and Arthur hurried to get it from his stash of things up in their shared bedroom. When he came back down, Al took some time to read it through, his eyes narrowing the more he read and Arthur could feel chills run down his spine. He had never seen his cousin this way.

"And you think that he can be on his way here, this Francis guy?" he finally asked and Arthur could do nothing but nod since this was the truth. "If he comes here, he's gonna be so fucking sorry because I will kick his balls in and then strap him on the road naked so that everyone can see what a failure he is..." He handed the letter back and then leaned over to gently run his fingers over Arthur's cheek, the touch suddenly driving the green eyed one nuts. "I won't let him touch you, ever again, you hear me?"

"Y-yes" Arthur answered weakly and was very relieved when the fingers left his skin. They spoke some more about all things concerning Francis, about who he was and what he looked like, even that he was Arthur's stepbrother in a way and that their relationship had been hated by the people who knew about it. Arthur told him what had happened that day when he had come over to Francis' apartment to explain that he really hadn't cheated, he told him about how long it had taken him to even get the strength to call the hospital and how his mother had been fussing about how this was all a punishment from God because he was gay. This he hadn't even told Jody, since she would have been all too upset to be able to handle it in class.

"He had slapped me a couple of times, both in bed and out of rage..." Arthur admitted and poked at the cup of tea Al had run away to make only a couple of minutes ago. "I didn't think he would ever hurt me like he did, since I still trusted his love for me... but I never told my mother of course, why would I"

"But you where being beaten..? You didn't feel the need for anyone else to know about that?" his cousin asked back and looked at him with worried eyes. Arthur shook his head in reply and took a sip from his cup, more to buy time than to actually drink the tea.

"I was kind of mindfucked somehow..." he shrugged as he had swallowed, even the tea seeming as dry as sand. "He... he could have done anything to me, anything you can think of and I wouldn't have protested..."

"Like... if he told you to suck him in a public place or something?"

Arthur blushed and looked away at this, mumbling "where did you get that from?" but soon realizing his mistake.

"I saw it on some porno... and I take it since you're looking away that he actually did tell you to do so and you just went along with it?" came Al's voice and even though he wasn't looking back up at the younger one, Arthur could hear the anger in his voice. "He had you completely wrapped around his finger and you couldn't do anything at all to get out of it... what a fucking jerk"

"He was..." Arthur agreed weakly and shifted a bit where he was sitting. "And now when I look back at it, I was a bloody jerk as well, or at least an idiot since I couldn't see what he was doing to me. I mean, even though he kept cheating on me, I couldn't bring myself to hate him or break up with him since the times I had with him alone were wonderful... when he was himself and we were eating breakfast in the early mornings... I always forgave him even though he didn't even intend to apologize to me for what he had done"

"I don't blame you though..." Al sighed and looked as if though he knew exactly what Arthur was talking about even though they both knew he didn't. "I mean, he made you feel good about yourself, didn't he? Even if it was just when you where with him and not when he was somewhere else. He could have been the best guy ever towards you when he felt like it and every time it made you fall for him even more... Of course you wouldn't want to lose that, would you? When you feel happiness with someone you can fight for it with your life on the line, as long as you know you will feel it again. It's the same with friends I think... if you've had like the best time ever with a friend, fighting with that person can hurt you so much you just apologize even though the fight wasn't even caused by you in the first place..."

Arthur was silent and just listened, smiling a little at the cuteness of the other's expression. He wasn't good with advice he had said, but it seemed he had just been underestimated himself. Al was like that sometimes, thinking less of himself for some reason which Arthur couldn't possibly understand. It was charming but a bit sad to see it out in the open like this. He really should be as confident on the inside as he seemed to everyone else, but he wasn't.

"Thought you weren't good with advice and stuff like that..?" he asked to break the silence and the blush immediately rose on those cute cheeks. "At least that was what you told me, remember?" he continued and grinned at the blue eyes who tried to avoid him.

"Well..." his cousin said hesitantly and bit cutely on his lip, looking a bit bothered by this. "Depends on if I know anything about the subject you know... like, I know a lot about people like Francis because I'm kind of... like him myself.. or something"

Arthur was quick to shake his head and send Al a dazzling smile. "Don't be like that... you're nothing like that guy, I can assure you" he said and drank some of the tea he still had left, which had cooled down to a better drinking temperature by now. "You might be a bit of a player, that I can admit, and I guess you feel that Lauren is thinking what you just told me about you, but you don't hit her or abuse her verbally right? You don't have sex with anyone else now that you are in a committed relationship with her, and even if you where you wouldn't brag to HER about it, telling you how good it was to fuck someone else for a change?"

"He did that to you?"

"Yeah" Arthur answered, matter-of-factly, looking back into blue oceans with a feeling of understanding of this man running through his veins. "Look, Al, you might be feeling real shitty about all this with Lauren and I completely understand you because it is never easy to have to decide whether you should break up with someone or not... but ask yourself this; are you happy with her? If yes, then good. If not then what should you do?"

Al nodded, something sad glimmering at the corner of his eye and Arthur felt his heart throb in his chest. Why was it so hard to give constructive advice to a guy who looked like a puppy when he was about to start crying? He leaned over and nudged the guy with his head on his shoulder. He didn't know what else to do for him... They hadn't even mentioned Lauren in all this time, because he had been suspecting that could have been one of the reasons why Michael had found his son on the bathroom floor that day... He didn't want those puppy eyes to cause his heart to melt even more than it already had for this guy.

"Please don't be sad anymore Al..." he hushed and smiled up at the blond one who was holding back tears as it was. "I know you're upset but it will all be better soon, I promise... and you can always be glad that you are nothing like Francis, so what ever you do, you won't hurt the girl so much she has to go to a hospital at least..."

"Very true" came the answer even though it still sounded sad and Arthur smiled as he received a warm hug around his shoulders from the younger one.

"You're gonna be fine, along with everyone else, I promise"

...

Arthur smiled as he stepped into the bathroom a couple of hours later. The two of them had spoken some more about Lauren but not too much. Al had admitted that all this hesitation had made him wonder whether he really was happy with the girl and Arthur had listened with a smile. He knew the feeling and even though he didn't want to affect his cousin in making his decision, he gave him some points and thoughts about it. He knew that when the time came, Al would have to decide for himself of course. Everyone would have to do that eventually, no matter how hard it would be.

He had left Al downstairs now, talking to someone on the phone about what had sounded like practice or some upcoming game. Arthur needed to take a shower anyway and this seemed like the best opportunity to do so.

He quickly stripped of his clothes and stripped in under the water, sighing in pleasure as the warmth started to wake his slightly tensed limbs for the first time today. Having sex in a bathroom at a school wasn't the optimal place to have intercourse, at least not after his tastes and it had become pretty uncomfortable to be honest. Sure, it was good but to always have to do it in out most secret wasn't the biggest turn on. He had always dreamt of the day when he would be able to be openly gay after all, live with a guy in some apartment somewhere and have loud sex all night so that all the neighbors would complain.

He laughed slightly and closed his eyes, imagining the bed and the messed up sheets, the tea cups and the half eaten breakfast, the note on the doormat saying that maybe they could keep it down a bit since it was monday and everyone else was trying to sleep. The thought was weird but somehow arousing to him.

"Fuck..." he whispered and looked down. It wasn't his plan to have to take an eternity in the shower, since Al was waiting downstairs but... jerking off wasn't something that would take too much time and he seemed to be needing it.

The only problem was that even though he had tried to forget the fantasies he had had about his cousin they seemed to have grown in his subconscious during the days he had been frequently fucked by the ginger boy. He had come home after that first time, only to find his entire bed smelling like Al and somehow also sex? That night he had dreamt of nothing but blue eyes looking into his own, blond locks tickling his forehead... first he had thought it was because of Francis, but when he had woken up and still felt the smell of his cousin enveloping him, he had thought differently. Having sex with John had been great, really, but every time he looked into those green-brown eyes he half expected them to be blue... every time he was touched by those hands and heard that voice whisper something into his ear, he was confused by the fact that it was not the voice of Al that he heard. He had almost whispered the wrong name as well, which would have been catastrophic to their sex-based relationship.

Now, this could be because him and Al had been growing real close ever since Arthur had gotten to the US, but if that was only because of that and the fact that he found Al very attractive, he would be surprised. He knew what he liked, what turned him on and fuck if Al wasn't just that kind of guy that could make his knees weak by just the softest laugh or smile. That his cousin seemed to be the cause of the fact that he was tunable to stay un-horny was a bit scary though, and since he had hoped his sexual adventures with John would take those funny feelings away he was quite disappointed now that he was standing in the shower, jerking off to the thought of Al.

"I sure am pathetic..." he grinned and closed his eyes again, the cold of the wall combined with warm desire filling him with ecstasy along with weakening knees at the thought of getting fucked right there... (come to think of it, it had been very long since he had sex in the shower, but oh how good it had been.) His fingers where slightly more rough than they had been recently, because John was never like that and since Arthur tried to jerk off as little as possible, the few times he did so he wanted it to be different from what the ginger one did to him. Of course images of his cousin where the ones who always made him cum quickest however embarrassing...

"God I wish you wanted me..." he grunted and almost started laughing at himself even though he was terribly hard and in need to cum very badly. "Cause then.. I could invite you to take a shower with me and we could have all sorts of fun... haha"

After coming a considerable amount on the wall and then wiping it of with his hand, Arthur left the bathroom in a hurry, hoping that it wasn't a suspicious thing of him to take such a long shower. When he rejoined Al in the living room however, he found the man in front of some porno (which he was laughing at). He didn't seem to have noticed Arthur had been gone for almost half an hour.

"Tell me again..."Arthur sighed with a smiled after sitting down on the sofa again. "Why are you watching shit like this every time I turn my back, darling? Don't you know I get jealous?"

Al gave a soft laugh and met Arthur's eyes for a second, maybe to make sure that he wasn't being serious but how could he have been serious? Arthur would never call anyone 'Darling' seriously. It just sounded cheesy to him. Really cheesy since the ones he wanted to have as partners where in fact male and well... calling a man 'darling' just... well... ng... what ever. Al then turned back to the TV where one of the girls, because there were two of them, was taking it in the ass.

"I find it fascinating to look at porn like this" he grinned and then shrugged. "Because it's so obvious that the girls aren't enjoying this and I can't believe how some people think this is what sex is really like..."

"True" Arthur agreed but looked away as the woman moaned. He didn't have much against heterosexual relationship or even reading novels about a woman and a man, but he didn't much fancy watching a porno like this. Al seemed to notice, which he was thankful for and quickly switched to something else. Pointless TV-watching was pretty comfortable when sitting next to Al after all, so even though they had to spend a long time zapping through the channels they where enjoying themselves.

The thoughts from earlier did follow Arthur through the entire evening still, which made him text John to see if maybe a bit of more casual sex could remove these images form him. That was the original plan after all.

Al, on the other hand, had no idea what was going on in the mind of his cousin. He HAD noticed the slightly older one had taken a long time in the shower that evening but everyone jerks off in the shower and he didn't really mind the thought either. Al found Arthur just as attractive now as he had done the first time he had seen him in their kitchen. Almost more attractive now to be honest. Thinking about attractive people masturbating wasn't a bad thing after all. The two of them had been through a lot together though, and somehow, Al was almost convinced they would some day at least end up making out. Or he kind of hoped they would. Which was not at all the same thing as being convinced.

Since Al was bisexual but currently in a relationship with a girl (and since his thoughts of men being gay with each other had become more frequent lately) he had kind of been hoping that he soon could find himself in bed with a man instead of another girl. The thought of breaking up with Lauren was still very hard to think about and he didn't want to cheat, but if he just ignored the fact that she even excited for a while, thinking about men was the high point of his day. He only knew two people who were gay and one of them he didn't want to think about at all, the other, Arthur, was sitting right there, gorgeous and probably over horny... of course he would be wishing for the two of them making out at least? Even though they where cousins...

Cousins. Arthur seemed more like his best friend for life than someone who shared the same blood as him. To be honest, he had thought about Arthur as a love interest more times than thinking about him as his cousin. Not that he had thought about it seriously. He had just kind of fantasized about the guy more times than picturing him as his cousin... which to him even seemed a bit weird, but it was not like he could really help it.

"Al you're spilling your water" Arthur grinned from down on the mattress and Al snapped out of it, sighing with annoyance as he looked down to see a large, wet stain on his covers. The other one was already up and out the door to fetch something to dry it up with and Al hurried to set the glass down on the small table next to his bed. He would have to stop being so dense all the time. Soon, someone would be noticing that he might be thinking about things... things that weren't exactly permitted by law.

"You are the biggest cluts Al" the older one grinned as he re-entered the room, carrying a cloth and some paper for the stain. Al just grinned, blushing slightly, before reaching for the soon-to-be wet cloth. Arthur was soon down on his soft sleeping place again and wrapped in his blanket with a expression of bliss on his face. He looked so damn content with his life, right then and there.

"Stop making cute faces" he grinned and Arthur chuckled underneath the blanked before hiding his entire face. "Where are you going now?"

"I'm hiding, so that you won't see when I make cute faces" the other one answered, his voice muffled but it was obvious that he was smiling while speaking. "That way, it will make everyone happy, right?"

Al grinned and jus shook his head before lying back down against his own pillows, his head pounding with tiredness and his cock with the need for friction. He wondered softly if he would be able to jerk off before going to bed. He wouldn't do it unless he was sure Arthur was asleep, but he was so tired himself that he would probably just fall asleep before he could get to it. Maybe he should just get up and take a shower... but he didn't at all have the energy left to do that. And his hair would be totally messed up if he fell asleep while it was still wet.

"You know..." the other one said, silently from down on the floor and Al looked up into the sealing, trying to read the pitch of the one on the floor, but reading emotion into it was hard. "...now that you know about me, about what I like you know... I feel that I could tell you almost everything about me and you wouldn't get disgusted or judge me... so thank you"

"I've told you" Al chuckled and closed his eyes, feeling warm all the way into the deepest parts of his body. "You don't have to thank me for anything"

"I'm serious though" his friend insisted and shifted down on the floor, making Al open his eyes and lean against his elbows to be able to catch those green eyes in the dimmed light from the one lamp they had lit. "There are so many things that I would want to talk to you about and I know I can trust you with them... maybe you don't see yourself as a listener, but I know you would listen and understand if I had something important to tell you, wouldn't you"

"Of course I would..." Al nodded and felt his heart sink slightly in his chest, the warm fuzzy feeling from the moment just now was gone. "Arthur, are you alright?"

There was a short silence, in which the other one hesitated and then grinned, eyes shining bright again even though you could feel there was something beneath the happiness that he did not want to tell. "I'm fine" he then answered and even though Al wanted to ask, say that of course he could see Arthur wasn't "fine" he didn't. Not now. Instead he returned the smile and nodded before sinking back against the bed. "I am curious though..."

"Curious about what, dear Arthur" he grinned, knowing that if he kept the conversation running, maybe the other one would eventually decide that he was ready to open up a bit more.

"About you" came the answer and even though he didn't necessarily know what this was all about or if he would soon be facing something embarrassing, Al blushed. He murmured something, like a "mhm", as if wanting to make Arthur continue but if that was really what he had wanted, he didn't know himself. He closed his eyes again and tried to pretend this was all in his imagination and then, maybe, it wouldn't be such an embarrassment after all. "About what you told me before... that you're bisexual?"

"I am an open book, Artie, just ask and I'll tell"

Arthur sat up on the mattress again, eying him on the bed and Al felt his cheeks burn even though he wasn't sure the other one was looking at him. He kept his eyes closed and breathed out slowly. He had known these things would come out, that the questions would be asked and even though he didn't know if he was ready to talk about it it was better that it was Arthur asking about it than someone else. Lauren for example. He would be honest, very honest, and if Arthur laughed at him he'd have to deal with it. Not that he thought he would laugh but you never know...

"Okay then..." the other one eventually said, after some time of silence when he must have been looking at Al with that serious expression on his face he always had when they where going to talk about grave matters. "I was wondering, since I know you've kind of... had sex with a lot of girls. Do you ever like fantasize about guys? I know you're with Lauren and all, but when you jerk.. jerk off you know?"

The question was hesitant and spoken quietly, almost as if the other one didn't really want to ask or maybe didn't want anyone else to hear them? Al couldn't help chuckling. The question was not the one he had been expecting.

"Yes..." he answered after a short while of thinking. "I mean, everyone thinks of the things that turn them on while doing stuff like that, right? I don't when I'm with her, but if I'm alone, of course I can think of some hot dude. At least sometimes"

"Like, what kind of guys then?"

"I donno..." he sighed, truthfully, and turned so that he was lying on his side, facing the one on the mattress with a wrinkle between his brows. "I'm kind of... just thinking about good looking guys in general I guess, guys my own age mostly..."

Arthur nodded, deep in thought and looked down at his toes, which where sticking out from underneath the blanket. "I just... once, my ex, Francis you know, told me that he used to think about other guys when he was with me sometimes..." At this, Al had to blink and rewind in his mind to be sure that what he had just heard was in fact what had been said.

"Why would he do that?" he then had to ask and slithered down onto the mattress slowly, not really sure if he was allowed to, but if Arthur needed hug or something it was better that he was close, so that he would notice. "That's just fucking stupid Arthur, you don't deserve crap like that"

Arthur looked up, biting his lip while nodding a little. "Thanks..." he then said and smiled slightly. "I don't know why he did it though, he said everyone does it, and it wasn't as if I'd been with that many people before him if you know what I mean? We were together for a long time and I figured maybe he just wanted some change or something... And he he did turn out to be a dick in the end so I guess you're right anyway"

Al shook his head and felt some kind of raw anger bubbling inside him. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. Arthur was a wonderful person, a gorgeous person at that. He knew what he was talking about and could always come with good suggestions and pep-talk... so why had this idiot even said something like that to him? If he did think about other people, couldn't he just have kept his mouth shut about it? Or did he enjoy seeing the happiness leave Arthur's eyes like the air leaving a balloon which has not been tied properly? Who would ever get anything good out of doing something like that? Apparently, these thoughts were still glued to the other's thoughts and he wouldn't get rid of them for the rest of his life... at least if you tried to interpret that broken down smile on his face.

"Look..." Al finally said and moved closer to his cousin and friend, hand reaching to rest on the other one's shoulder as he spoke. "He had no right to tell you something like that... he should have kept it to himself so that it wouldn't hurt you, no, he shouldn't even have been thinking about someone else to begin with" _And now I feel like a fool for thinking about someone else when king of being with Lauren... _he added in his mind. "You shouldn't have to think more about it Arthur, cause he didn't deserve someone as sweet, kind and just wonderful in every way, as you are. You hear me? And you deserve much better than a jerk like him... You should get someone new, someone you could trust that would trust you back just as much, someone who knows you and can laugh with you, someone who will think only about you while being with you..."

Arthur was crying softly next to him, but he nodded a little. The sight was heartbreaking but Al didn't know what else to do than just sit there and hug around the smaller one's shoulders. He was indeed smaller in every way, except age, at the moment and somehow, it made him feel responsible for making Arthur happy again. How he could do that though, he didn't know either and when those tears had finally stopped falling, they were still just sitting like that, Al with one arm around Arthur's shoulders and Arthur with his head resting against Al's chest slightly.

"What would you do..." the smaller one said, after he had been calm for more than ten minutes, just poking softly with his slimmed fingertips at the tanned skin of Al's hand. "...if he actually came here...?"

"You really think he would dare?"

Arthur nodded, almost unnoticeably at this and Al felt his heart dropping to the pit of his stomach. "He might"

"Then I would show him that he is not welcome anywhere near you, like I told you before" he finally answered after taking a deep breath and relaxed his body again. "He is not going to hurt you anymore and if he tries to contact you again or if you see him somewhere, you just let me know and I will bring the entire team and we will kick his ass so hard he won't ever wanna be gay again"

Arthur almost giggled under breath and he felt slightly pleased for making the other one smile again. "That sounds very mean, but justified" Arthur then agreed and leaned a bit closer to the warmth of Al's chest, which made him shiver for some reason. He wasn't allowed to think the thoughts that were now passing before his eyes and through his mind, so he tried to concentrate on the thought of beating that perv up, instead of Arthur naked underneath him. He really should try to stop wanting sex this badly.

"We should probably sleep..." he eventually said, when his dick had calmed itself again and he felt confident enough to be able to stand. He didn't get an answer though and he couldn't stop himself form chuckling as he realized the other one had already fallen asleep agains him. "I guess we could stay like this for a little while longer..."

* * *

><p>Aww.. isn't that adorkable? ;D<p>

But what will happen now that all Al can think about is how much he would want Arthur to be happy again? And will he finally tell Lauren that maybe she is not the right person for him? What will both of them do when the blond haired man in Arthur's nightmares suddenly shows up in town and what will Matt do when he finally gets to meet the cousin he has heard so much about?

FIND OUT IN THE NEXT EPISODE OF... My reason to smile. ._. yeah... it's a TV-show in my head right now, sorry 'bout that XD

There are so many questions and so little time ;)

What do YOU think will happen in the future for these two boys? What would you want to see and is there something you've been wondering about but not dared to ask? ;D

Review with your thoughts about this story and the chapter and I'll make sure to get back to all of you :D oh I just love you guys!

See you next time!

Codes


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